"Gahhhh why!!" You complain tearing the sheet of paper out of your notebook. In anger you ball it up and throw it across your room.
Butter??!?!? Really? How in the ever loving- how can that be the name of a song????
Especially when Myeoum and Ayeong's concept material looks nothing like you'd think it should.
It's all dark and broody...
Maybe they are trying to throw you off... or see how unique you can be.. It doesn't matter its fucking frustrating.
What's even more frustrating is how much you want to ask for the guys thoughts and opinions but you can't.
On the other hand you know them on a level that the other designers don't. So maybe playing to them as individuals would really help.... But you still have to keep army and the concept in mind.
Why did you agree to do this? 21 outfits, in 2 days? There's no chance anyone will actually like your work... but now that you've said yes...
"Okay focus." You spread out the inspiration photos on the bed in front of you. "Joon's the leader, he can set the tone, and we can build out from there." you breathe and set pencil to paper again.
Dark and moody, we can do that... velvet? No, Leather is more Joon's style- A long leather coat would be perfect. Black pants, and fitted tee. Elegant, shows off his muscles very well. To fight the blade runner vibe we'll do some loafer type shoes, with no socks for the modern touch. Then to finish, some chains for details.
Next the oldest, Jin. He's soft, and sweet, but has a playful sexiness that gets overlooked. A silky button down (slightly unbuttoned) should make sure his charisma isn't underplayed. All black as well for all of his clothes. As a matter of fact all black for all of their clothes, to be consistent. A pair of matte chelsea boots will work well with slightly cropped trousers as well. Perhaps a small chain necklace could peek out from underneath the collar.
Yoongi has a bit of a mullet going, so leaning into the rockstar vibe feels right. Shoes with a flat platform, like creepers. Lower cut black tee, cigarette pants and a fitted blazer to show off his nice slim form, and the peek of his collar bone will definitely drive Army ( and yourself) crazy. Throwing a necklace with a small pendant will really bring together the subtle androgyny of the 60s and 70s.
For Hobi you really like the blazer look, but for his it will be over sized, baggier slacks as well. Strategically scrunching up the sleeves will help it look different. Along with a pair of custom converse. You know he can really pull off any style, so you know he won't get lost in the baggy clothes. According to your papers, he's meant to go blond as well, so it will really contrast the strength of the all black.
Jimin will get some looser fitting clothes, but not so big that they hide his small waist tucking in a loose button down will do the job well. Of course it wouldn't really fit Jimin if he didn't stand out. Sporadic stripes of sequins will be the focal point of his loose top shirt. You'd personally love to have his bare chest under the button down, but it doesn't really seem his style. Basic black shoes with rubber soles will ensure he can dance and be stable if he's asked to.
Now for Taehyung, nothing but a suit will do. He kills you every time he wears a matching set.
You can't let Jimin be the only sparkly one, so to bring the through thread of sparkle, the suit will be made of a subtly sparkly fabric. His feels simplistic, but he dresses so classically it feels right to be more simple. A ring or two would wrap up the look nicely.
Lastly For Kook, a similar style to Joon with the slim fitted tee and pants. Adding a pair of chunky shoes and all black will of course win Jungkook over. Instead of a leather trench coat, he'll get a slightly oversized blazer like Hoseoks, and a few bracelets to accent his tattoos.
You take a step back rather satisfied with yourself.
Is the all black different enough? Is it too copy and paste? Seems like they're all wearing suits, aside from Jin and Jimin... is it too similar? Possibly, but it really feels right.
Only took you a day and a half and a third of your sketchbook to get there. The showing is tomorrow and you still have a whole other song to design for.
God your head hurts. It hits you that you really haven't had much to drink or eat today. Time for a snack break, and a break from stressing over designs.
The stress of tomorrow being the deadline, is too much to ignore, so you take your snack and hydration back to the cave of your bedroom and get back to work. You get through the first set of music video outfits with only slight difficulty and just barely start the second set when you hear the garage door humming below.
"Hey babes," you greet the weary men coming into the kitchen. "How was your day?"
"Long." Tae wraps his arms down around you burying his head into your shoulder with a small whine.
"Yea, it was a rough one for all of us I think." Hobi says working around Taehyung still clinging to you, to give you a kiss hello.
"Long is an understatement. We ran choreo so many times, and then we had to go and rerecord a part of the chorus because there was some sort of glitch in the audio they couldn't get out."
"Yeah, the system had a little issue with a loose wire. But I fixed it." Yoongi grins a small proud smile.
"Hyung is good at fixing stuff." Yoongi blushes first from Jimin's words of praise, then from the wink he received along with the praise.
"At least we're home now." Joon hums, pecking your cheek, again having to maneuver around the koala hanging onto you. "Any luck designing?"
"Yea, a bit actually! I wish I was able to show you and get your opinions, but it's okay. You'll see it tomorrow either way I suppose." You weasel a hand out of Tae's grasp to push hair behind your ear, "I'm sorry I don't have dinner started, I lost track of time working."
"That's okay princess, it's not a chore you have to do," Jin kisses your recently freed hand, then your temple. "None of expect you to work like a housekeeper. And I definitely don't mind making dinner so you can rest."
"Are you sure? I don't mind helping at least." You offer.
"No princess, I've got it covered, you go rest."
"Okay, I'll be upstairs, I want to finish before I fully rest." With a lot of convincing you get Taehyung to cling onto Joon so that you can go back to work.
Why did you put off doing this for so long? In just a few short hours you'll be showing the entire team your work and right now it's ¾ done. The music video outfits are so much more difficult than the concept photos. And of course you had to make it difficult on yourself, and go for 21 sketches so that you can give them more to work with.
But now you're stuck half way through the last set with no idea how to push past this mental block.
After a half hour of staring at a half done sketch there's a knock at your door.
"Jagi, Dinners ready." Jimin voice rattles through the thick door
"Okay, be down in a minute."
"Okay, do you want us to wait for you?"
"No go ahead and start, I'm sure you're all starving." You call back, not knowing exactly when the "minute" will be.
"Okay."
You erase the pants on the sketch and redraw it as a skirt with one half long hitting just below the knee, the other half right above the knee, split down the middle with sharp knife pleats. You really like it. It's bold, different, and any one of the guys could pull it off, but you really doubt the company would like it.
Reluctantly you tear out the sheet with the skirt but you have more respect for it than to ball it up and chuck across the room. For now it is set to the side and redraw the pants version. Setting them side by side you study the designs carefully, still feeling very much attracted to the skirted option
*knock knock*
"Yeah?"
"Noona, are you okay? Jiminie hyung said you'd be down in a minute but it's been a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay" Kookies honey sweet voice hums through the closed door.
"Yeah I'm okay, I didn't realize it had been that long." You must have been studying the designs a lot longer than you thought. Putting the skirt sketch on your night stand you try to push it out of your mind.
"Are you hungry?" He pops the latch on the door sticking his head through.
"Not really... I just really want to finish these first." You give a weary mile, "It shouldn't be too much longer, I hope- but if I go downstairs now they may never get finished."
"Okay.... You can do it baby, we all believe in you." Blowing a quick kiss on his way out, Jungkook shuts the door quietly and you go back to sketching.
4 more to go.
3 more.
2 more...
Still 2 more.
That stupid mental block is back. You glance at your alarm clock. 11:00 the face glows brightly.
You shove your pencils and paper to the side, flopping down on your bed, letting the top half of your body hand off the mattress. Maybe blood rushing to your head will help you think.
What in the world is that, you spy a mass under the bed.
Ew, dust bunny. Maybe you should clean, cleaning and rearranging would help you get a new perspective! Come to think of it, your closet could use some organization.
No. Ah!
Now you're just trying to procrastinate. Sitting up again, after recovering from a major head rush, you push everything to the end of the bed, except the 5 sketches completed for this set and the inspiration material. Those you lay out in a neat arch directly in front of you.
You're about to put graphite to paper again when yet another knock comes to your door.
"Yeah?" You call yet again.
"Babygirl? Can I come in?" You glance at everything on the bed, before answering.
"Give me a second, yeah." You gather everything into a pile and hide it under your pillow. You can't risk him seeing any of the sketches until tomorrow at the meeting. "Come on in."
Yoongi backs through the door carrying a tray with a bowl of soup and a bowl of watermelon.
"Thought you could use some dinner." He sets the tray down then sits with you on the bed. "Jungkook said you didn't want to come down until you were done, so i thought I'd bring it up to you."
"Thank you." Your stomach growls now that you've actually stopped to think about food. Leaning over you kiss his lips quickly before realizing how tired our arms are. Letting yourself down slowly you rest in Yoongi's lap sighing with exhaustion.
"Of course. If I didn't have Joon or any of the guys or you now, checking on me, I'd probably never leave the studio. So I understand not wanting to leave your work.... Besides, I wanted to see you."
"Aw, I'm sorry I've been shut up here all evening." You close your eyes breathing in the scent of Yoongi's aftershave. "I'm almost done but it's just hard to be satisfied with everything."
"Like this you mean?"
"Hmm?" In a flash you're sitting up, eyes open confused as to how Yoongi managed to grab one of the sketches from under your pillow without you noticing. "How did-" But then you see, it's the skirt design. You forgot it was on the bedside table the whole time. "Oh, that. That's Not one of them."
You wave a dismissive hand and turn to the soup, preparing to gulp it down quickly.
"What? How can this not be one of them? It's so good!!"
"I like it just fine, I just thought maybe the company would disagree. I'd like to design again for you if I get the chance, but they may not let me if they think i'm always going to try to put you guys in a skirt."
"Fuck the company,"
"Yoongi-" You huff slightly, already having resigned yourself to disregarding that design completely. Pulling the paper out of his hands you start to crumple it.
"I'm serious! I'd totally wear this."
"Great! But I'm not using it for the meeting tomorrow!" Snapping, you finally ball up the paper and toss it into the mound of other trash. Your abrupt actions take the man on your bed aback. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay, I understand, you are stressed and tired and hungry." He presses a warm palm to your cheek gently. "Just eat, get some rest. I really think you should be done for tonight. You need to sleep. You can finish in the morning."
"Okay"
You empty the bowls quickly, and resign yourself to getting ready for bed.
"I'll take all this down to the trash for you." He gathers up the balled up papers onto the tray with the bowls. "Goodnight babe,"
"Good night, thank you for dinner again. I love you."
"I love you too
The next morning you scramble to put together 2 last sketches. They arent your best work, but they will do, even if all they are a filler.
At 9 the 8 of you pile into the big van and head to the office. You're taken to the big practice room where Myeoum and Ayeong are also setting up their sketches on a table behind a curtain, between you and the set of chairs for everyone to be present during the meeting.
Passing by their sketches you can't help but feel intimidated. They all look so professional, to be fair however, they had a lot longer than 3 days to put them together.
Feeling the call of a sudden nervous bladder you abandon your folder of sketches on a chair with your small bookbag.
You weren't in the bathroom even 5 minutes but when you get back to the room most of the seats are already filled. Amongst the crowd, as promised are the 7 men in the front row, that you want so desperately to impress.
That's all it really boils down to now. You could do this just for yourself, and then it would be okay if your designs didn't get chosen. But a part of you feels a small need to prove your abilities as a designer to them.
Quickly you grab up your folder and pass behind the curtain to lay out your things. First set on one line closest to where people's eyes will be quite frankly you are proudest of that set. The next set goes above that, and-
"Ready? Take your seat quickly please," Producer Choi comes around the corner to hurry you out into the audience.
"Almost I just have a few more to put-"
"I'll do it. This line here?" You nod and reluctantly hand him the folder.
You hurry out and take the seat at the side of the room that Ayeong and Myeoum had saved for you, looking through the crowd to the front row hoping to catch a reassuring smile from one of your boyfriends.
Choi comes out and makes a small speech about designers working very hard to capture the writers and artists ideas. Then row by row the staffers file up to the table and write down their vote and put it in a small box before finding their seat again.
Ayeong and Myeoum wait ever so patiently, like this was just another day. You on the other hand were a ball of nerves. Tapping your heel nervously, wiping your sweaty palms on your dress.
"Hey, it's okay, don't be worried." Myeoum smiles, but they don't seem to realize that the front row just stood up to get in line.
It feels like you hold your breath until they've all sat back down. Even then your chest is tight and the sensation of needing to pee is back or maybe you need to throw up.
"Okay were last." Ayeong stands brushing the silky pink hair over her shoulder.
"Wait, we get to vote?" You question, looking between the two designers. Myeoum holds out their hand and helps you stand up.
Feeling the eyes of the entire room on you you cross to the table. Starting at the end of the table opposite from where your papers lay.
Your eyes drift over the beautiful drawings of the most unique outfits you've ever seen. And then there's yours... smudged with graphite fingerprints, and messy sketchy lines and-
And there. In the last set.
Second design to last, is the wrinkled page you tried to forget.
Your mouth falls open, if it hadn't been for your throat closing up your heart may very well have jumped out of your body completely.
Your chest rises and falls as you turn around frantically glancing from your folder to the front row.
Someone switched out the pants design in favor of the one with the skirt. Not just someone.
You know exactly who it was.
How could he?
Mind racing you scribble a quick circle around the 2 on the small ballot in your hand, and stuff it in the box.
Feeling utterly confused and a bit betrayed you find your seat, albeit in the blur of a nauseous haze.
"Thank you everyone, you're all dismissed. We will tally the scores once Bang puts in his vote, and the results will be announced via email."
You head swims and your heart pounds in your ears.
"You good? You look really pale." The two beside you kneel down in front of you.
"yeah, " Clearing your throat with a nod, "nerves."
Standing up you push past them, making for the restroom just in case you were going to throw up. Luckily finishing the designs kept you from eating much this morning, so there's nothing in your stomach to come up anyhow.
"How could he?" You think again and again trying to reason over how Yoongi could go against your wishes so easily. The more you think the more your eyes start to water and your face feels hot.
Mindlessly you make your way down the halls of the building until you find yourself in front of Yoongi's studio door.
You don't even bother knocking.
"Oh baby girl, wh-"
"How could you?!?!?" you wail, with fiery tears streaming your cheeks. He tries to pull you into a hug, but you hammer a weak fist against his chest. Days of stress and not enough sleep finally separate you from thinking rationally "How could you put out the design I told you not to?!?" His eyes widen and his jaw falls slack astounded at your outburst. "I trusted yoU!!"
His hand catches your jaw holding you, firmly jarring you out of your screeches. His eyes bore into yours.
"Y/N." His voice is cold and steady. "You need to calm down."
He leads you back and makes you sit on the couch. The grip on your jaw loosens but his hand still holds you, forcing you to look up at him.
"First of all. Don't ever hit me like that again. Understand?" You nod blinking through tears. "Second of all, don't ever doubt me like that again. I. Do. Not. Take your trust lightly.
I really don't know what you are talking about. I didn't touch your designs."
"what?" Your lip quivers and your voice shakes. "If you didnt- who-"
"I don't know baby girl, I thought you did." H thumb runs over your cheek wiping away the burning tears softly. "I would never go against something you told me, especially when I know it means so much to you."
"Im- "sniff "-im sorry. I accused you with- without even thinking- an-and for hitting you..."
"It's fine, just don't forget what I said next time. I don't take people's trust for granted. And please don't stay up so late too often. You get grumpy like this."