"Love is the death of duty."
JON'S POV
It has been two nights in a row now that my mind has been occupied with a woman before I go to sleep. I should have been thinking about what her business here in the North is. If what she told me was true or if she was planning to steal the North out from under me. I was sure that was what Sansa wanted me to think about, but it wasn't what I've been consumed with.
I couldn't stop thinking about how her hair shines like fire when she spars in the courtyard with her traveling companion. She didn't look like a Targeryen, but she did look like a dragon when the light hits her hair the right way while she's in the midst of a fight. I've been consumed with the strange feeling of satisfaction when she wore my cloak and dismay when she insisted I take it back. I gave her my cloak to ward off the cold she isn't accustomed to, but I enjoyed knowing no Northern man would dare try to court her as long as my cloak is on her shoulders.
Now she knows what it means to Northerners when a man gives a woman her cloak, she doesn't want to wear it any longer and I can't help but wonder why. It seemed that she is looking for a highborn husband, is she against that being me? What was it her escort said? Something about having a husband that would do anything for her, like her first husband. He could only have been talking about one of two people, Tormund or myself. A Queen wouldn't marry a wilding like Tormund, so they had to have been talking about me.
She sounded opposed to what he was saying, but why? Was she upset he was insisting she court me, or was she upset he brought up the man she loved and lost? I knew it was most likely the latter, but I question if it was the former. Could it be she doesn't want to wear it because she's concerned with what I want or think? Is she worried I am happy in the North and wouldn't want to move south with her?
I have only known Valaena for two days, why is she constantly on the forefront of my mind? Why do I get jealous when I see her with other men and overjoyed when she seeks me out? I have duties to attend to, but every time I see her, I want to shirk them to spend time with her. Yesterday I went down to the crypts in a failed attempt to clear my mind. All I could think about was her and if she was thinking about me too. Part of me hoped she would follow me, but what I heard when I went to find her explained why she didn't.
I wanted to comfort and console her when she passed by. I could tell she didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, let alone the man she was being pressured into courting. I wanted to go on that ride with her in place of Tormund or her companion, Kovarro. I wanted to be the reason why she came back in higher spirits than when she left.
When I saw them come back with disheveled clothing and her plaited hair looser than normal, I became insufferably envious of the men she was with. If she wanted the Lords and Ladies of Westeros to support her claim as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, she couldn't marry either of them. She could marry me. She would always have the support of the North, but did I want to become King of the Seven Kingdoms and move to King's Landing to marry her?
The North was my home, and I didn't want to rule. Would she expect her husband, the King, to rule by her side? Or would she prefer a husband who lets her rule on her own, provides advice, and supports her? The real question was does she want a husband like me, the latter? The only way to know is to ask her, but what if her answer wasn't what I was hoping for? What if she didn't think of me in that way? What if she refused to wear my cloak because she doesn't want us to be courting?
"Your Grace. The Lords and Ladies are gathered in the Great Hall." Maester Wolkan interrupted my thinking.
"Thank you." I turned from where I was supposed to be watching the men train and made my way to the people I had summoned.
The walk through the Great Keep was quiet. I didn't pass anyone and the Maester followed me in silence. It allowed me time to think about what I needed to say and how I would convince the Northerners of the threat beyond the Wall. Yet my mind kept straying to the Queen hiding as a Lady. I hadn't told her about the Night King nor his army yet. If she attends this meeting, what will she think? Will she think we're all madmen, will she want to know more, or both?
"I want every Maester to scour their records for any mention of dragonglass. Dragonglass kills white walkers, it's more valuable to us now than gold. We need to find it, we need to mine it, we need to make weapons from it. Everyone aged ten to sixty will drill daily with spears, pikes, bow and arrow." I looked around the room, gauging the reactions of the men and looking for the woman who had possessed my thoughts since I first laid eyes on her.
"It's about time we taught these boys of summer how to fight." Lord Glover's support was welcome, but he didn't fully understand what I meant.
"Not just the boys. We can't defend the North if half the population is fighting." This caused the men to complain to each other, but I was right and they needed to realize that sooner rather than later. Time and numbers were vital in preparation for this fight.
"You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?" Lord Glover voiced the opinion most of the Northern Lords had, but Valaena is proof women can fight just as well as men if given the chance.
"I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I may be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you." Lady Lyanna Mormont spoke with the conviction I had grown to appreciate. She has been one of my biggest supporters, and she wasn't afraid to tell the other Lords what she thinks.
"Indeed you are My Lady, no one has questioned-" Lord Glover tried to argue, but Lady Mormont cut him off before he could speak much more.
"And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." The men began cheering and pounding on the tables in support of the young Lady.
"While we're preparing for attack, we need to shore up our defenses. The only thing standing between us and the Army of the Dead is the Wall, and the Wall hasn't been properly manned in centuries. I'm not the king of the Free Folk, but if we're going to survive this winter together . . ." I turned to look at Tormund, my voice trailing off as I saw Valaena sitting near the wildlings. She did a good job hiding her thoughts, but her lips were pursed in what I assumed was confusion or disbelief.
"You want us to man the castles for you?" Tormund stood, blocking my view of the Queen and yanking me back to my senses.
"Aye. Last time we saw the Night King was at Hardhome. The closest castle to Hardhome is Eastwatch-by-the-Sea." I tried to look past Tormund to catch another glance at Valaena, but he was still standing in front of her.
"Then that's where I'll go. Look's like we're the Night's Watch now." Tormund turned towards Lord Glover for a moment before sitting back down. No doubt he was trying to antagonize the Northern Lord into realizing that the wildlings aren't the enemy.
"If they breach the Wall, the first two castles in their path are Last Hearth and Karhold." I knew this would be a controversial topic, but I hoped the Lords and Ladies trusted me to make the right decision and wouldn't argue against it.
"The Umbers and the Karstarks betrayed the North. Their castles should be torn down without a stone left standing." Did Lord Royce not realize we needed these castles to defend ourselves?
"The castles committed no crimes, and we need every fortress we have for the war to come. We should give the Last Hearth and Karhold to new families, loyal families who supported us against Ramsey." Sansa voiced my own thoughts, but strayed from what I believed was the right thing to do.
"The Umbers and the Karstarks have fought beside the Starks for centuries. They've kept faith for generation after generation." Until Smalljon and Harold, but they both paid for their crimes.
"And then they broke faith." Thank you dear sister for pointing out the obvious.
"I'm not going to strip these families of their ancestral homes because of the crimes of a few reckless sons." Sansa and I knew what it felt like to lose your home, did she really think the Umbers and Karstarks deserved that?
"So there's no punishment for treason and no reward for loyalty?" Sansa sounded frustrated that I wasn't taking her side, but I had my reasons.
"The punishment for treason is death. Smalljon Umber died on the field of battle. Harold Karstark died on the field of battle." Lady Alys Karstark and Lord Ned Umber have committed no crimes, I won't punish them when the criminals are already dead.
"They died fighting for Ramsey. Give the castles to the families of the men who died fighting for you." Seven hells why is she so damned stubborn about this, and why are the men supporting her?
"When I was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch I executed men who betrayed me. I executed men who refused to follow orders. My father always said, 'The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword' and I have tried to live by those words, but I will not punish a son for his father's sins and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries. That is my decision, and my decision is final." Why was Sansa so insistent about this? Did she not remember we were punished for our father and brother's crimes? Did she not remember Winterfell was taken from us because of our father and brother's crimes? Is she so willing to put two families through the same hell we were?
"Ned Umber. Alys Karstark." I waited for the ten year old boy and sixteen year old girl to stand and beckoned them forward. They looked much too young to be the head of a family, and yet Lady Lyanna Mormont had proven time and time again children can rise to the occasion if need be.
"For centuries our families fought side by side on the battlefield. I ask you to pledge your loyalty once again to House Stark, to serve as our bannermen and come to our aid whenever called upon." The two children knelt, holding the pommel of their swords. Their small frames and youthful innocence tugged at my heart, but a King didn't have the luxury of excusing a Lord and Lady from their duties because of their age. I had to trust them and their advisors to do their jobs.
"Stand. Yesterday's wars don't matter anymore. The North needs to band together, all the living North. Will you stand beside me, Ned and Alys, now and always?" I had spent too much time with the free folk, the sight of someone kneeling before me felt wrong even if it is tradition.
"Now and always!" The two children pledged their allegiance with relieved smiles on their faces, prompting me to offer them a small smile.
The men in the Great Hall cheered and pounded on the tables in support, but I couldn't trust their reaction. They were too eager to support Sansa in robbing these families of their ancestral homes to trust they supported my decision. I looked around the room, assessing whether or not I could count on the support of the people gathered.
My gaze faltered when I saw Valaena watching me with a faint smile and a shine in her eyes. She tipped her head towards me in support of my decision. The smile on my face widened and I nodded towards her in acknowledgement of her silent message. It was such a small interaction, though it proved to me there was something between us. Possibly something going beyond trust and attraction.
A/N: This is my first time writing from a male perspective, I hope you liked the chapter!
What do you think about the sexual tension between Jon and Valaena? Do you think they should start courting or do you want her to be with someone else?