Madison’s POV:
I woke up in the comfort of being wrapped up in a warm fluffy comforter, surrounded by plumed feather pillows. Five pairs of eyes are watching my every move. Looking around in this new room of mine, the memories from yesterday came flooding back.
Oh, yeah I forgot, I was adopted.
“Morning sunshine!” Louis said in a bright cheery voice.
I just groaned in response, sitting up to face what these boys had in store for me.
“Whats that?” Harry questions pointing to the black leather journal till tight in my grasp.
“Uh- it just, nothing...” I said attempting to sound confident but it just back fired on me, as I pushed my secrets behind my back, out of sight.
They all had that suspicious look on their faces, but brushed it off after a few seconds.
“Today, my dear, we are taking you to get a whole new wardrobe!” Zayn says with stars in his eyes, as if today is going to be the best day ever.
Me not getting all excited and jumpy at the thought of a shopping spree disappointed them I think. I already had enough clothes. My pair of jeans and long sleeved shirts were all I need.
“Umm, is it okay if I don’t go shopping?” I ask almost whispering, crossing my fingers that they except my wish of disobeying their requests.
“Yeah sweetie, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Liam said trying to encourage me with one of those loving smiles. He could sense that I was scared asking not to go to mall, his fingers lightly brushed aways some lose strands of hair away from my face. I flinched away backing up from him, I could see a flash of hurt in his eyes as I hid more into the covers.
“Yeah, I’ll stay with you while they go shopping.” Niall willing volunteers. “No, you don’t have to do that..” I quickly say, hating the thought of being left all alone with a teenage boy.
“Maddie, you can’t stay here alone all day, plus Niall will defiantly keep you entertained.” A protesting Harry exclaims with a chuckle.
My body quickly tenses by the last part of his phrase. ‘He will keep you entertained’ My body silently begins to shake. So it starts today. My mind is rushed with thoughts of what he might do to me, thought after thought. I was in my own little world, trapped in the dark, unable to find any bright side.
I felt my shoulders being shaken wildly, “MADDIE! SNAP OUT OF IT!” Louis yells with my limp body being thrown around in his arms.
I snapped my head up, my eyes attentive, my body ceases to shake. Each of the boys look as if they are witnessing a mental patient.
“Maddie, you ok baby girl?” Harry ask while Louis fold his arms around my lifeless body, pulling me into his embrace.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine. I just kinda zoned out thats all.” I think on my feet trying to cover up my fear.
Zayn’s voice has that edge of suspicion as he asks, “You scared us, you just kinda weren’t there. Could you hear us or anything?”
I simply shook my head as my body regained control of my heart beat. Desperately trying to get out of Louis’s tight grip of my body.
Eventually he gave up trying to tame me as I broke loose, falling on the ground with a THUD.
“You ok love?” Liam asks with concern as I pull my body off the ground. I nod just wanting to be alone. I just want to get away from these boys, I don’t trust them. I want nothing to do with them. I just can’t wait for the day when I can be on my own, no one to scare me. You don’t need people to be happy right?
Harry helps me off the ground, but I shake him off cringing when he tries to touch me. “Baby girl, none of us are going to hurt you. You don’t have to flinch when ever one of us try to touch you.” Zayn says obviously annoyed that I flinch every time one of them comes near me.
‘Yeah, sure.... None of you are going to hurt me, just rape me, beat me, cut me, maybe kill me? I don’t trust any of you creeps’ I say to myself. In reality I just nod in understanding.
Rule #2 of being adopted: Just go along with what your owners say. The more they think you trust them, the faster you get things over with. And if your lucky, they feel guilty for tricking you and take it easier on you...
“So what are your sizes so we can get on the road?” Lou asks thankfully changing the subject.
I respond cautiously with, “I’m a XXS in shirts, and a double 0 in pants.”
Apparently that wasn’t the right answer because their jaws drop. I squirm a little pulling the covers higher on my body, as if it would protect me.
“Ummm, did I say something wrong?” I take the chance of asking, the silence killing me.
“No, no. You didn’t say anything wrong, its just, well, thats not normal for anyone to be that small!” Harry says explaining that all the boys were thinking.
I just innocently raised my eye brows bitting the conner of my bottom lip, feeling really embarrassed about my body. Being this small isn’t my choice, some confusing medical things cause me to like this. A mixture of that and the fact that I have grown up almost starved to death, keep me like this.
They all just looked at me, searching my eyes for something.
"Come here baby girl..." Liam says pulling me into his lap with his arms tightly fastened on my waste. He completely ignored my protests and just held me tighter. I tried endlessly to get out of his grip, but I soon figured out Liam's tack it. He was purposely letting me ware myself out. It worked, my body gave up on me as Liam just held my tired body in his arms.
"Shh, its ok love. Your safe ok? Nothings going to hurt you." He whispered in my ear as his arms just pulled me closer so my head was leaning against his shoulder.
"Madison, do you have an eating disorder?" Niall asks bluntly with a fatherly seriousness in his voice.
"This is crazy, can I please just go take a shower?" I plead begging to avoid this conversation.
"Remember those rules we talked about last night? Yeah? Well this is an important question that you must answer!" Louis said backing up Niall's tone, only his voice had an edge of anger.
I not balemic, or anorexic! I have just never been properly fed, so I'm not use to all this food. But these boys trying to act all fatherly like isn't ok with me, I had a father. Sure he did terrible TERRIBLE things to me, but there is still always that hope that maybe one day he will love me.
"I- I don't have an eating disorder." I exclaim as sternly as my trembling voice will let me.
"Baby, you don't have to lie to us. You can tell us if you do." Zayn said with a sensitive smile.
"I DONT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER!" I commanded my voice to yell.
"Young lady, don't raise your voice with us!" Harry demands.
"I'm not 'raising my voice' but I don't have an eating disorder, and you are not my dad so stop trying to act like it!" My dark side takes over as I push myself out of Liam's arms and run to my closet to grab my box and sprint to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I turn on the shower and strip of my clothes. The girl I see in the mirror, is not that same girl she was when she was eight. Scars cover every inch of my body. Some light pink, others white, and more recent ones bright red. The black burns fill in the holes of the scares. I look at my stomach, filled with the names of the people who have adopted me. My face is the only part of my body not covered with scars. Miss June was careful to make sure no one ever got my face, she didn't want people to think I was abused. It never sinks in, that this girl in the mirror is me. But then I think about what has happen to me, and it clicks. The pain reminds me that I really am this girl.
I get in the shower, with my knife and razor...
Louis's POV:
Madison runs of to her closet, grabs a box, and then runs to her bathroom. Whats in that box? Her words sink in, "You are not my dad so stop trying to act like it!"
I can't believe little Maddie said that! Harry's face looks crushed. I know he was just trying to help her.
"Come on mate, lets give her some space." Zayn says patting Harry's back and leads him out to the living room.
"Hey don't worry about, I'm sure she's just trying to get use to living with five boys. And you heard the lady at the orphanage, she likes to keep secrets, and she's really sensitive." I say trying to cut him some slack.
"I- I shouldn't have yelled at her, she's probably just feeling really out numbered. And- and questioning her like that, it must be really embarrassing for her. Not to mention she's only been here for a day. Its- its all my fault." Harry rambles on and on. Finally he stops talking to breathe.
"Mate, this is not your fault. She's simply embarrassed about her body, and your right she doesn't really know us. She'll warm up to us, don't worry." Niall attempts to comfort him.
"What do you think that book she had was?" I asks, remembering her guarding that book like her life depended on it.
"I bet its some kind of journal or something. If we can't get anything out of her, I suggest we turn there for help." Liam says
"I think it'll be good that its just Maddie and Niall today. Maybe she won't seem so overwhelmed." Zayn concludes.
"Can we all take turns with her?" Harry asks with a pouty face.
"Haha, yes Harry. We can all take turns with her, but for today... Niall make sure she eats. She's got to get some food in her." I say patting Niall's shoulder as we all leave to go shopping for our daughter.
God I hope Niall, takes care of her.
45 minutes later
Madison's POV:
After giving myself some more cuts, a shower, and I have calmed down, I go down stairs to see a huge feast of food.
"Hey cutie! Ya hungry?" Niall asks walking out of the kitchen with even MORE food in his hands.
"Uhh, I'm really not that hungry, but thanks for making all this food!" I said back to my sweet voice.
Niall motions me over to the table to come and sit. I follow orders.
"Niall how on earth do you expect me to eat all this food!" I say with a nervous laugh.
The plate of food in front of me consist of pizza, pasta, chicken fingers, french fries, and chips.
"Just do your best love." Niall says already digging into his food.
I take about two bite of each piece of food and I can almost feel my stomach about to explode.
Niall has been done eating for about five minutes now, and he is just watching me eat. I self concisely put down my fork with a sigh.
"Are you done?" He asks shocked.
I nod.
"Maddie, you didn't even eat one whole fry." He says with a disapproving look on his face.
"I'm sorry. I'm just not use to eating so much, my stomach feel terrible." I say looking down, praying he doesn't punish me for not eating enough.
"God, Liam's puppy dog eyes don't even compete with yours little one. But the boys will kill me if I let you get away with only eating two bites. Sorry Maddie, but you have to eat at least half of whats on that plate!" Niall commands with all seriousness
"Niall, I litterly can't! You have to understand, I don't have an eating disorder but I just have never eaten a lot." I plead feeling as if I take one more bite I will get sick.
"You have to eat half of whats on that plate and that the end of disscustion!"
2 hours later:
I'm still at the table trying to eat all this food.I have eaten half of the pasta and chicken, and some of the fries, but I still have a long way to go.
Niall refuses to leave me alone at the table, and just sits there watching me. Not stalkerish at alllll.
I take one more bite of the pizza and I automatically can feel it comming back up. I rush to the nearest bathroom and make it just in time before my lunch comes back up.
Niall's POV:
I feel really bad for making Madison eat all this food, anyone can see that shes struggling to eat just two bites. Its been two freaken hours and she has just begun to make a dent on her food. It doesn't bother me, sitting here waiting for Maddie, anything it takes to get her healthy.
She's starting to look a little green, maybe I should tell her to stop.
Before I can do anything she runs as fast as she can to the bathroom. I follow right behind to see her getting sick. My poor little angel, she looks so helpless, like she just can't get a break.
I kneel down to her and hold her hair back as I gentely rub circles in her back.
Damn it! I shouldn't have forced her to eat all that food, now she doesn't have ANYTHING in her stomach.
After about ten mintues it looks like she was done getting sick, her face looked pale white as she slowly leaned back on her knees, flushing the tolet. She let out a small whimper as she tried to stand up.
"Come here baby, I gotcha ya," I whispered pulling her up with her legs wrapped around my waste. Gosh she was so light, it doesn't even feel like I have some across my waste.
She tucked her head behind my shoulder and I had one hand on her bum suporting her up, and before you get any ideas it was that fatherly way, I'm holding my DAUGHTER for God's shake. My other hand was one her hair, gentely rubbing her head.
"Ni- Niall?" She whispers looking up at me
"What is it baby girl?" I say stopping to look her in the eye.
Those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, clouded with secrets and fear.
"Can you please take me to my bathroom?"
"Of course honey" I sigh taking her up the stairs and into the bathroom. I sit her on the counter, unsure weather or not to leave her here alone. Heitantly I begin to walk out of the room, as I'm walking out the door something catches my eye. Is that a knife in her shower? I quickly turn around, open the shower door and grab this knife.
SHE HAS A KNIFE!!!!!! My little Maddie has a knife? Why on the fuck does she have a knife.
I look at her holding up the knife and her blue orbs widen with fear.
'I- I can explain?" She asks more like a queation than a statement. I can the fear in her eyes, like she thinks its the end. I just can't control my anger. Why would suck an adorable little girl keep such a big secret like this.... I wonder what ealse she's hiding. Well no more secrets! I'm going to get to the bottom of this weather she likes it or not!
"Madison Bess Tomlinson! WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS????" I yell in her face. I'm to angry to notice her flinch, squirm, plead. I just pull out my phone and call Louis. She is in big trouble now!