Jamie's challenges always put fire in my blood, and I loved the way he would not back down in the face of overwhelming odds. I simply adored this particular human, and the way he kissed with instinctual skill...
But, I supposed we actually did have somewhere we were supposed to be. I sighed and slipped out of Jamie's hold. He did not complain nor did he try to stop me.
"Will you escort me?" I asked.
"Sure."
"It's in the larger meeting hall."
"I know where it is."
"I suppose you do. You have been here for a while, haven't you? Are you happy here?" He seemed satisfied, but I remained curious.
"Yeah. I am."
I smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear that. Would you be happier if you were here and also killing more bloodsuckers?"
"Well, I wouldn't complain."
I imagined he would not.
"You'll probably get your chance, now that everything is a mess. But I rather think it's time to stop admitting it. If anything, I should call the rebellion pleasantly early from now on. Most wars don't come on a conveniently timed schedule."
"You've seen a lot?"
"I've lived through quite a few. Several big ones, and lots of smaller, less defined ones. Not all wars are so cut and dried as this one we're about to begin."
"You don't like fighting."
What had he gleaned from my tone? "Not particularly. I mean, this one is worthwhile. I obviously think that, and I can honestly say I've never started a war before. Still, I would much prefer that humans just simply get along and go about the business of producing more amusements for me. But, that's just how humans are, I suppose. Bickering as much as cooperating and we vampires are no better." I tutted at how everyone was so much more foolish than I.
I would have kept up my delightful monologuing, but we reached the greater meeting hall.
Distinct satisfaction filled me as I took a place amongst them, my beloved humans with that air of angsty worry rolling off of them. We weren't bothering with any sort of hierarchical seating arrangement today, and it was just as well, the chair scraped as Jamie took his seat next to me.
They were already speaking, and while I received many respectful nods, the conversation continued. "This is what we've been working towards our entire lives. Even those who came from outside the walls, what have any of our efforts been for other than survival? You know as well as I that things are getting harder all the time." Rush said with a tiny scowl crossing his features.
"Sure, maybe things aren't ideal, but once we knock the council out of power, everything will get better for all humans."
"Except, maybe we can't win."
I did not want them to get too negative, so I interrupted. "That is a possibility, but I think we'll avoid that. I don't want to get turned to a dismal pile of ash before I see the world outside of their control again any more than the rest of you wish to die. But, like always, I have more than one scheme in the works."
"And what's that?" Tiberius demanded, but the tiniest quiver in his voice gave him away. I imagined he was worrying for his wife and children as much as for himself.
"The reason I called you all here."
A mixture of furrowing brows and widening eyes swept around the table. "But first, everyone needs to get here because I'm only going to say this once. I've no desire to repeat myself any more than I already have to."
Jamie cocked an eyebrow at me, as if he doubted my words. I smiled at him serenely.
I watched with a pleasant smile on my face as the last few humans trickled in.
"So, humans. It seems that it's time for the true games to begin, and I have selected all of you, and for your own reasons you've chosen to join me in risk rather than living a life of blissful ignorance. I chose you all for your strength, intelligence, creativity, loyalty, and stubborn courage in a world set against you. I chose you because I was looking for that spark of insubordination against overwhelming odds.
"Oh, and of course, I also chose some of you who I kept near me because you fit the decor. Don't underestimate your aesthetic value," I added, just to vex them a little bit. A few frowns deepened and I kept my amusement hidden. "But don't worry, that was only an ancillary benefit to my actual plans, as you know. I'm actually aiming more for ethical value here tonight."
"But, I'm getting ahead of myself, just as things are starting a bit prematurely. Due to the extenuating circumstances, I'm going to do something I've never done before, something I've never truly wanted to do before, to even the playing field. A few of you are already aware of my trump card, my plan of last resort, but most of you don't know."
I really should just spit it out, since I did not want to mess with my humans the way I messed with the council. Yet a part of me rebelled even now at what I was about to suggest. My words came out a bit faster than they should have. "I'm giving all of you here the choice to join me in this indefinite vampiric state."
I was, of course, already aware of who I had agonized over this plan with, but if not I could have told by the difference in expression who were in the know versus those who were not. People like Connor had grim determination etched across his features. Others, like Marcus, who had accompanied me, looked absolutely shocked because I had never made any secret of my dislike of turning humans.
Perhaps, more explanation would be in order. "I've always resisted the urge to change humans into monsters in the past. Many of you are aware that my own transition was very much against my will, and I've never wanted to inflict that on someone else. And I will not, even now. The choice is yours, to make a sacrifice you cannot understand without experience, to carry a responsibility that you must not take lightly, to pick up a burden you will have to bear for far longer than a simple war. You'll be trading your life for a cold, indefinite existence, and you won't understand what you've lost until it's gone."
"We are, of course, going to try to turn the more civil vampires who already exist to our side, once we begin fighting. The goal was never to eradicate every single one, but rather any that insisted on keeping humanity as mere chattel and any that refuse to give up their loyalty to the council. But even with these added forces and all our resources, we will have a difficult time holding off their forces at night. We will, of course, allow the humans to fight battles under the sun, but hope will fall every evening."
"So, you must make your choice. You're here because you're the ones who I believe can be trusted with this power, because I believe you're the ones who did not seek it. If you decide to take it up, you'll be my first fledglings, and I'll do what I can to help you with the change. I'm going to stay in New Haven until tomorrow evening, so if you reach your conclusion before then, let me know if you have decided to make this sacrifice and I will turn the first couple of you immediately."
"I'll give you all time to think and discuss," I said, and then I fled like a coward without even once meeting Jamie's eyes.
* * * * *
I waited, in my sitting room, hidden in the shadows. No one came right away, which was not surprising because Connor had planned to further speak to them. Still, it was not long before I was discovered. Marcel entered the room and squinted through the darkness.
"You can light a lamp," I told him. A moment later, the light flared, piercing the darkness and setting the room off in a warm glow.
He met my eyes and I cocked my head curiously, waiting for him to speak.
"I'll do it."
"Are you certain, Marcel? I don't want you to feel pressured into it. It's a isolating existence, and I fully expect none of you to go around making thralls like council fools, so you will watch almost every person you come to care about die."
"Connor explained all that."
I nodded. "Why, then?"
"Because, I want to fight them on even terms, Mistress."
I waved my hand breezily, "You really do not have to keep that up, Marcel. That particular lie has ended, and doubly so if you join me in this state."
He did not bother to answer. His muscles were stiff and his jaw was tense, giving lie to the determined expression he tried to maintain.
"If you're sure."
"I am."
"It's a simple enough process, at least from what I heard. I never really watched anyone turn a human before, perhaps I should have. You will need to ingest a very small amount of my blood, and then I will bite you, and soon after, it will remove you from the life you know. Your heart will cease, and your body will cool, and time will loosen its grip on your existence."
He nodded. "Let's get it over with."
I closed my eyes for a long second. No part of me wanted to do this to him; I did not even truly want to do this to Jamie even for the reward of having him for many lifetimes. I gritted my teeth, and cut my hand, letting dark blood well up in the few seconds before time reversed my skin to its former unbroken state, leaving liquid blood pooling in my flawless palm.
Steeling myself, I held my hand to his face and tilted the liquid that would kill his humanity towards his lips. I hated what I was doing so much, but there was no other way to guarantee success. I had led myself to this point, and it was all I could do but to ensure victory, my feelings on the subject notwithstanding.
Perhaps, this was my penance.
I leaned over to Marcel and bit him, drinking his life for the final time. He went slack, as if dead, and I gently laid him down on the sofa, and waited with my unconscious human, hoping that I had not completely killed him. I was alone in the silence, without even the beating of Marcel's heart to soothe me.
* * * * *
My solitude was broken by Jamie. Excitement flooded into me at the sight of him, and even more as he came in and sat down right next to me. I smiled at him and admired his profile. That strong jaw looked so delightfully stubborn.
"I'm not going to turn, Vienne," he said.
I might have been disappointed, but I had already assumed that he would refuse. I was saddened at the renewed prospect of his eventual demise, but I pushed aside the thought and instead further admired the defiant human that he already was.
"You're not upset?" he asked, watching me.
"Of course not. I expected you would refuse. I will, of course, grieve you when you eventually expire, and I'm not looking forward to that, but neither am I so desperate that I would force the issue."
He seemed satisfied with my answer. He looked towards Marcel's prone form. "Is he alright?"
"I certainly hope so," I admitted.
His head swivelled to look at me. Was that concern for Marcel I detected? I almost teased him about it, but instead I restrained that wonderful bit of fun in favour of not sending him running off in a hilariously huffy mood.
I sighed. "I've never done it before. I've never even seen it done before, so I really only know what I've heard from others. And since I'm not particularly close with the sort of expert fools who make three fledglings every century..."
"Maybe you should wait until Marcel wakes up before turning anyone else."
"Good point. Although I actually thought he would be awake already." Nagging worry curled in my stomach more thickly. I had no idea what I might do if I had inadvertently ended Marcel in a permanent way. I bit my lip until I tasted my own blood.
"It couldn't have been that long. We only all left the meeting an hour ago."
"It felt like a lot longer, although admittedly my sense of time is dismal. If it wasn't for my weakness to the sun I probably wouldn't even notice the days any longer."
I slipped closer to him and he put his arm over my shoulder. I let his body heat diffuse into me, giving me some pale shadow of the feeling of life.
"The humans would remind you, I'm sure. Isn't it Leif's job to...?"
Jamie's voice trailed off at the sounds of movement from the other couch. My eyes fixed on Marcel, waiting to see what I had done to him. At first, the little shivers were barely discernible, but then they became obvious shakes.
"Is this—?"
"I have no idea," I snapped back. Realizing I had sounded like I was unvampirically panicked, I forced my tone back to calm. "If I had realized that I was going to put myself in this corner, I would have paid more attention to the fledgling happy fools when they went on about the process. Marcel? Are you awake?"
He did not respond with words, but a likely coincidental rush of renewed shivering ran through him.
Then, his eyes opened so suddenly it almost startled me. Instead of the familiar brown, they were completely red. Marcel, or rather the monster who used to be Marcel, met my eyes. "I need..." he rasped.
I knew that feeling. "Jamie, run and get me some more stored blood, and we'll probably need more donations."
He nodded and left. I was glad he was gone, because fledglings were unpredictable, and I did not want Marcel doing something that we would all come to regret in time.
I snipped off the top of the bag and brought it over to Marcel. He struggled to push himself up, as if he were a robot with rusted joints, and then he took the bag from me with trembling hands. I kept my hand on his wrist to help him maintain his grip.
He slurped the blood with more savagery than I had ever seen from him, and I mourned the human he had been. This was Marcel, but I had murdered a part of him.
I shoved away the thoughts, and he soon finished every last drop. "That's actually pretty good."
"Wait until you try it in coffee," I said, forcing a smile.