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It's been a week since the Crown Prince's birthday ball has ended..
Everything became calm as usual..
It's early in the morning yet Anisha was sitting on her desk and writing something energetically..
Today she got a letter from the Grand Duchess, inviting her to their mansion in the capital.. So currently she is busy writing a reply about how grateful she is for receiving an invitation from the duchess..
Anisha looked very excited..
In the past and present aswell, Anisha admired the duchess so much..
Duchess Diana,
She is calm, beautiful, charming, intelligent and strong aswell..
As a former princess of Ester kingdom, where people valued intelligence and strength, she inherited it all perfectly..
Their motto is to,
Prove your worth to yourself, not to others..
Challenge yourself everyday and win everyday..
Though the people of Easter kingdom have a strong mana but because their mana is defensive and not offensive, so they can't use it to attack or on combat purposes..
So they train their body hard to become stronger anyway..
Because they can't use their calm mana to attack, so they use their mana to make various magic items which is popular all over the continent..
And because they possess the only forest of spirit beasts, The Forest of Losts, they tame the beasts easily using their calm mana..
Whenever Anisha see that calm smile on the duchess's face, she feels calm inside..
'Is it because of her mana? Or simply because I admire her?'
Anisha questioned herself but didn't get any answer..
'Well whatever it is, for now let's enjoy the calmness..and.....and The Amoria Rose!! Yayyy!!! '
Anisha was so excited to finally able to see The Amoria Rose in this life..
In both of her life's, she wanted to see the Amoria Rose atleast once..
Amoria Rose is Castillo Dukedoms symbolic flower..
Red and black, two colors are mixed together just like their blood..
With a combination of red and black, The Amoria Rose gives off a dangerous yet attractive vibe..
They say,
The Amoria Rose was a parting gift to the Crown Princess who fell in love with the Devil king..
The devil king gifted her this Rose as a symbol of their love..
Red and Black, it symbolize Love and Death..
'The Castillo blood is full of mysteries ~'
Anisha felt overly excited..
After finishing the letter Anisha asked Leah to send it as soon as possible.. She also wrote her three buddies a letter aswell, describing her excitement and nervousness..
After all of the hassle, she finally plopped down on her bed..
Sigh~
Anisha rolled on the side and looked at the window.. The sky was clear and the sunlight was sharp.. The weather was warmer than usual..
Anisha again rolled on the other side of the bed and opened the second drawer of her bedside stand..
There she found a diary with a beautiful Sky Blue cover.. The one that Izana gifted her..
She took the diary from there and again rolled back to the window side..
She opened the diary and looked at the pages where she wrote some important entries from the past aswell as present..
She looked through all the pages and finally her eyes stopped at the page where only one word was written..
“Harllod”
Anisha looked at the page with steady eyes, but her expression has a faint of uneasiness..
'Only you..Why can't I remember much about you? Why??'
Anisha's heart was filled with anxiety..
Though her past memories are blurry, but she can remember things from time to time.. But, about Harllod, she can't seem to remember much..
She felt like she was forgetting something important, something very important.. And those thoughts were making her anxious..
She was so afraid that it felt as if her heart might leap out of her chest at any moment.. Her heartbeat was loud aswell..
She felt this everytime she think of him.. Her heart ache so much..
That day aswell, when she met Harllod at the Royal banquet..
She felt really uneasy..
As if all of her emotions became upsidedown..
She controlled her emotions that time, but after coming back home she shattered..
Anisha sighed while remembering what happened that day after she came back home..
~~~
That day after coming back home, Anisha wished good night to her dad and went straight to her room..
She silently walk up the stairs and head to her room.. She sat on her bed and stared at her fingers while fiddling with them..
As Leah already prepared the bath, Anisha told Leah to leave as she wanted to take bath herself..
After Leah leave the room Anisha was left on the room all by herself..
Anisha felt a tightening feeling on her chest as hot tears are started to fall from her eyes..
'Don't you dare cry, crying doesn't solve anything.. You know that more than anyone else Anisha..'
She silently scolded herself..
Her tears were falling hard just like a water falls.. It was unstoppable..
She bit her lower lip and tried not to make any sound..
Just like a balloon filled with water being pricked by a needle, she burst out and cried..
'I don't even know why I'm crying.. '
She smiled painfully at her own thoughts..
'I'm so scared..
Why? For what?
I don't know..
I'm so tired..
Why is it so hard?
Because of my past memories I live my life in fear..
Always so cautious..
Scared..
And uncertain..
No matter what I do..
And the missing part of my memories, makes me suffocate..
It's like I'm missing something important and I need to remember it..
But for some reason, I can't remember them.. As if, it was never there in first place..
I don't want to care, but I care..
I have to fight my fears..
I have my friends and family with me..
I have to protect them..
I will protect them..
And I can do it..
Yes, that's right!
I'm Anisha de Verita after all..'
She slapped her face together and shook her head..
She was right, crying solves nothing..
She got up from the bed and walk to her window opening it, letting the fresh air into the suffocating room.. She breathe in and out finally calming down..
Feeling tired after all the crying, she closed her eyes as she leaned towards the window side sofa and fall asleep..
The next day she got a scolding from Leah for not bathing and changing..
~~~
Anisha smiled painfully remembering that day..
Harllod,
He was a quite person..Doesn't talk much..
They have never talked much actually.. Only shared few necessary greetings..
But, she always felt clam and safe around him..
"I don't remember much about him.. All I can remember is, He was my escort guard for the whole month of my Royal Wedding..
And I met him a few times after that.."
Anisha mumbled..
She doesn't have any particular memory of him.. But deep down she knows, it wasn't that simple..
There is a string that connects them together, thin but strong..
She thought having the memories of the past will help her in many ways.. But now as her memories getting blurry every single day, she isn't sure about that anymore..
The life she lead back then was full of schemes and misfortunes.. She didn't have anyone to trust and rally on.. She was betrayed by everyone, everyday..
She felt suffocated everyday but still kept going on, because she thought that at the end of the day Everything Will Be Alright..
But that was just her wishful thinking and nothing else..
That's why, she is scared now..
If she keep forgetting the past, the traitors will walk past her unmarked..
Which is not a good thing..
Even if she is trying so hard to change her future but there is always something that are inevitable.. She can't handle everything on her own..
And she can't let the history repeat itself..
So, her nervousness is understandable..
But,
When thinking about life you need to remember this,
No amount of guilt can change the past,
And
No amount of anxiety can change the future..
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A/N : Hehee! Sorry I'm late!!! 🐨
I was little busy those days.. (Lie)
I had so much work to do.. (Just being lazy)
Well now I'm back.. 🙋
Thank you for for reading this novel ~ 😘
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