11/04/21
Sooyoung's 1st Person POV
"I'm so ready for some shopping!" Kyungmin squeals, as we head to the parking structure connected to my apartment building.
It's about 11am, on a Sunday. Kyungmin and I thought it would be a great time for us to catch up and have a bit of a girls' day. I gave Namjoon the opportunity to have one-on-one time with Moonsik. The nanny, Maria, will be present, in case he needs her for any assistance, as well as his own manager, Sejin, being there. I have no qualms of leaving him to his own devices to spend time with our son. After yesterday's first meeting and excursion at the Lego Discovery Center, I feel like the two of them have started building a bond. I know he was nervous before Kyungmin and I left them, but I know he'll be great around Moonsik, more so on his own, without me there for a few hours.
"Wow, we haven't gone shopping together in years!" I excitedly tell Kyungmin as we both get into the SUV. We decide to sit in the very back so Sejin can't hear too much of our 'girl talk.'
"I know, right?! It's like the good old days! I remember us going shopping to destress from school, back then!" Kyungmin says in a lively tone.
"Right?! So where do you want to go?" I ask her. If I remember correctly, Kyungmin likes to plan ahead and I'm sure she already has ideas of where she wants to shop.
"I actually told Chulsan to take us to Madison Avenue! Namjoon gave me access to his card and shopping is on him," Kyungmin reveals to me, following it with a wink.
"What the hell?! Namjoon is doing way too much!" I honestly say to her.
"He insisted! I even asked him why, and he said we both deserve to treat ourselves, on him. Let's not fight him on that, okay, Soo?!" Kyungmin says to me in a playful voice, to which I react with a chuckle.
"I guess if the man insists! Especially if I find some clothes for Moonsik, I might not be able to resist. But, I just feel like I shouldn't spend Namjoon's money... it's weird," I think out loud.
"Why? You've raised his son well for five years! You deserve a pair of Jimmy Choos or a Chanel bag! Hell, why not both, Soo?!" Kyungmin wiggles her eye brows. She causes me to giggle yet again.
"I forgot how crazy you are! I missed you, Kyungmin!" I say as I playfully punch her arm from making me giggle more.
"I missed you, too, girl!" She beams at me then looks ahead. She points forward as if on a mission, and raises her voice, excitedly, "Chulsan, first stop, Fendi, please!"
"On it!" Chulsan replies, enthusiastically, and drives off to the requested destination.
Kyungmin turns back to me, speaking in a lower volume, "Sooyoung, I know that you and Namjoon haven't spoken in five years, but he never lost respect for you. When you two ended your relationship, there wasn't any bad blood. You both thought it would be best for both your future careers. But, had he known about Moonsik, he would've stuck around, Soo."
"I know he would have. I regret not being able to tell him. I was just terrified for myself but also for possibly causing him not to focus on his dream. I didn't want to take that away from him," I tell her, with slight guilt in my voice.
"I know you didn't. I'm not telling you all of this to make you feel guilty. You did what you thought was right, at the time. I'm telling you this because I was there for my brother after you two broke up. Namjoon was heartbroken. He didn't end things because he stopped loving you...just know that, okay?"
"Um, okay." Hearing that tugged at my heart, all of a sudden. I continue, "Honestly? I still have a big place in my heart for him. And, it's crazy to say, but seeing him putting all this effort to be a part of Moonsik's life, like genuinely wanting to be present now, reminds me of the Namjoon I was in love with. I thought he would harbor all this anger and resent me for not trying harder to contact him about our son."
"He understood your intentions, Soo. When you explained to him that you wanted him to live out his dream and didn't want him to give up on his music, he understood that you didn't do it because you didn't want him in Moonsik's life," she pauses and looks as if she's questioning her next set of words. "Is it okay to ask if you still have feelings for him? You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to, Soo."
"I don't know, Kyungmin. It's been five years. Maybe we aren't the same people we were back then—"
Kyungmin cuts in, "That's the same thing Namjoon said when I asked him the same question!"
"Oh?" I'm not surprised Kyungmin had a similar conversation with Namjoon, but I'm surprised to hear he thought the same way.
"What if feelings come back between you two now that Namjoon is trying to build a relationship with Moonsik?" She throws out the question, making me really think.
"Well, if that happens, at all, then so be it. But, Kyungmin... please don't paint a picture in my head of something that might not actually happen."
"Why would you say that?" She furrows her brows.
"I'm sure Namjoon is already involved with someone, right?! He's surrounded by amazing and talented women. And, the man is a perfect and amazing catch- I should know," I answer her.
"He hasn't settled down, and I wouldn't bring this topic up if I knew he was involved with anyone. He isn't, just for your information!" She looks at me with a serious expression on her face.
"Kyungmin, I can't believe we are having this conversation!" I smirk, shaking my head.
"What?! Don't you want to be in-laws?!" She gasps out.
"Kyungmin! Can we just not get ahead of ourselves and change the subject?" I beg of her. I don't want to think about the possibility of Namjoon and I right now. Would it be nice? Maybe. But, it's been five years. And, right now, our main focus is Moonsik.
"Okay...though, we should find you a cute outfit for when you go out on a dinner date with Namjoon!" Kyungmin suggests to me, wiggling her brows.
"KYUNGMIN! I swear! It's not a date! And, why are you pushing us together like this?!" I playfully slap her shoulder.
"Sorry, I'm so nosey! I'll drop it!" She says as she holds up her hands, showing she surrenders.
~
Kyungmin had so much energy dragging me to different stores! We went to Fendi, Givenchy, Chanel, Alexander McQueen, Céline, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, and a cute little children's boutique.
At the first couple stores, I just idly followed Kyungmin, refusing to look at anything for myself, because I know she would insist on Namjoon covering it, and I just didn't want to spend his money.
When we were in the Alexander McQueen store, I did eye a few things, especially a particular bag, not thinking Kyungmin noticed. But, apparently she did, because when we walked out of the store she handed me a shopping bag with that exact purse in it and she winked at me. I told her not to do that again. But, of course she did it again when she made me try on some Loubotin heels I was staring at.
We went to this really adorable children's boutique. Kyungmin said there is no way I could oppose spending Namjoon's money in that store if it's all for Moonsik, and I could not disagree with her on that!
Kyungmin, being the excited new aunt that she is, went all out, making sure to buy Moonsik a few button up shirts, shorts, pants and a couple sweaters.
Needless to say, we were insanely exhausted after our shopping spree. We made a quick trip to a cafe to end our outing where we discussed Moonsik, old friends of ours and any gossip involving them. And, of course she tried to bring up Namjoon and I again. I swear she's trying to fix us back up.
I would lie if I said it could never happen. Because, if I'm being honest with myself, after seeing him in person, and having communicated with him, I'm constantly reminded of the person I loved. And, yes, years have gone by, but I still see the same caring, sweet Namjoon I fell for.
Fuck.
He's an idol and I'm so busy raising a son and trying to focus on going into pediatrics.
I think us getting back together is more of a pipe dream.
If anything, we just need to focus on Namjoon being a father to Moonsik. That's the most important thing right now.
*********
A/N:
So... who's excited?!?!?!
🎵Song to check out: "Diva" by Beyoncé
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. XOXO✨
-MissD