“Wow! I read a whole book!”
“Yeah. You did well,” I praised.
Carol leaned her head toward me. This meant that she wanted me to pat her head, so I did.
“Isn’t this the sort of thing you do to a puppy…?”
“Huh?”
“No, it’s nothing.” I thought I saw an illusion of a puppy’s tail and ears behind Carol. It was really cute.
It made me worried. The future villainess looked just too adorable recently.
***
The picnic was going well. We had to use one of our precious weekend days to go, but it was worth it. After all, it was the first time that I’d gone outside since coming to this world.
“Wow. This is like heaven.”
The utopia that people sometimes talk about spanned out before my eyes. Carol had already run to the river to wade, not knowing that her skirt was getting dirty.
“It truly is,” said Madame DeJoue. “Lady Sharon, you always act so mature. You should take the chance to go and dip your feet in the water as well.”
“But my bones are cold,” I said.
“What?” Madame DeJoue rubbed her ears as if she thought she had misheard me. Her ears were probably working just fine…
You have to think about the future when you’re 35 years old. It would be bad if I caught a cold.
“Oh, you mean that your feet will be cold! It’s all right, my lady. It’s still early in the summer,” said Madame DeJoue.
“No thank you. I prefer to be over here.”
Madame DeJoue sighed. “Well. If you say so.”
I absently watched as Carol played mischief on Madame Berna, who dodged her pranks with a bewildered look on her face.
“Would you want me to play like that?” I asked.
“I only wish for my lady to enjoy herself,” said Madame DeJoue.
Hmph. I thought she would let it go at that.
I sat down on the picnic mat and rested my chin on my knee. To be honest, I had some worries.
“Madame DeJoue?”
“Yes?”
“How much authority do I have in the duchy?”
Madame DeJoue looked confused. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about…?”
It’s not that I wanted a lot of power. I just wanted to decorate the place where we lived and occasionally adjust Carol’s schedule. Right now, I could barely help shape Carol’s education.
I turned my head to face Madame DeJoue. “Please talk to the butler and find out what my budget is,” I said.
There was probably a way for me to use my inheritance, but if I do, I might make Duke Gratoni suspicious of my actions. It would be better to save my inheritance for my personal needs and otherwise use the money that the Duke allocated for me. He would notice what I was doing eventually, but there was no need to tip my hand right now.
“What are you saying?”
Madame DeJoue seemed shocked by my words. I know that I would be if an 8 year old started talking to me about budgets and authority. However, I was completely serious.
I had stayed at the mansion for a little over a month. Duchess Gratoni didn’t seem to care for her guests at all, and it had been dreary the entire stay. The gray lobby was drafty. The floors didn’t have carpeting, either, so it was cold. There were no ornaments or plants decorating the hallways, and it was hard to imagine that anybody lived there at all. It was completely different from the mansion in Atrina, where the Countess had filled the rooms with sincerity and life. It was no wonder Carol was so gloomy in a household like this.
When I first met Carol, she couldn’t even laugh properly. Now that our relationship was more stable, I wanted to do what I could for her. I chose Madame Dejoue to be our knight.[T/N: As in chess, a strong piece.]
“Why would you ever ask that sort of question?”
“It’s because I want to study. Also, it’s too different from our old house here.”
“To study… It seems that you’ve become very mature, my lady.” I don’t need to tell you what image Madame DeJoue has of me now. “And compared to the Atrina house, it is a lot more dreary.”
“That’s right,” I said. “Living in a place like this… I feel like I might forget my parents’ faces.”
I specifically chose the words that would evoke Madame DeJoue’s sympathy. I couldn’t reveal my motivations to her, seeing as I didn’t even know if I could trust her yet.
This would also be a good opportunity to test her ability and see how far she would go for me. I needed connections with the housekeeping staff in order to get involved with taking care of the mansion. I could slowly expand my area of influence from there.
“The head maid is a crooked sort, and it won’t be easy. But… it isn’t impossible,” said Madame DeJoue.
I smiled gently, a little like a young fox would.
“I’ll do my best,” she said.
“Thank you, Madame DeJoue.”
“No need for that, my lady. I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to move on after your parents’ passing, but it seems like it was unnecessary. You’ve matured. You’re even thinking of your education.”
What she meant was that she was worried that I would starve myself or take some other drastic action. Sharon was a girl who was terrified of being separated from her parents.
However, I was not Sharon. So the only reply I could give Madame DeJoue was a vague smile.
She had to adjust to me as I was now. I didn’t know how much longer I would continue to live as Sharon.
Thankfully, Madame DeJoue did not ask any further questions.
“Now, my lady. You should join Lady Carol at the river. She’s calling for you.”
She lifted me up and guided me toward the river.
“Sharon! Sharon! Come quickly! There are fish here!”
Carol eagerly led me to Madame Berna (who, by the way, was thoroughly drenched from Carol’s mischief). Madame Berna’s hands formed a cup of sorts, and in her palms were four small fish, swimming.
“What about it?” I said.
Carol looked as if she was struck by lightning. Her eyes widened into circles and her jaw dropped before she caught herself.
“Huh? Isn’t this interesting?”[T/N: Carol actually says ‘헐’, which is slang for a mild exclamation of surprise or shock.]
“Wait just a moment. I’m more interested by how casually you’re speaking.”
“Sharon, you talk like this all the time!”
Wait, I do?
I grabbed my head. Madame Berna glanced at me, disapproving, but she didn’t say anything in front of Carol.
It wouldn’t do to interrupt Carol. It had been too long since she had enjoyed herself like this.
“I’ll have to speak more carefully…” I mumbled to myself. I shrugged at Madame Berna, hoping that she would understand that this was my first time raising a child. Madame Berna’s lips let out a small sigh.
“Madame Berna! Please come look at this! Will you catch this for me, too?”
It wasn’t just slang that Carol picked up from me. Carol had started to talk more respectfully toward Madame Berna, imitating how I spoke to Madame DeJoue.
Madame Berna went to see what Carol was talking about. “This?” she asked.
“Yes! Kyaaaaaah!” Carol screeched with joy, and she turned around with a face that betrayed her mischief.
At the same time Madame Berna stopped in her tracks.
Wait. What had made her do so?
“This, this isn’t something we should catch! Girls, run away!”
What Carol had asked Madame Berna to catch was a water snake, floating by on the river.
“Aaaaaaahhh! I- it’s a snake! Carol, run quickly!”
“Kyaaaaaah!”
Carol, who didn’t think much of the snake, looked like she was having fun.
Yeah, what do you know?
At the riverside, Madame DeJoue greeted us with a smile as we ran toward her. “Now you look your age,” she told me.
That’s not it! But I couldn’t say anything because I was gasping for air. Madame Berna, who knew well that water snakes were venomous, also couldn’t say anything as she sat on the ground to catch her breath. The only one excited here was Carol.
“Let’s do it again! Again!”
Is she the Energizer bunny or something?
***
Though I did let Carol sleep in my bed sometimes, it didn’t mean I let her do so every night. Actually, I was so used to living alone that it was uncomfortable for me to sleep with someone beside me. But there wasn’t anything to be done about that on a day like today.
Thunder and lightning roared as if they wanted to split the sky, and Carol came to me with tears in her eyes. “I’m scared, Sharon,” she whimpered.
I wondered how this child had previously endured stormy nights like this. I breathed out, trying to make sure none of my pity was reflected in my eyes. Then, with a bright smile, I extended my hand to Carol. “Come here,” I said.
As usual, Carol crawled into the bed only after receiving permission. She clung to me with her short arms and legs. It was lucky that I was growing faster than Carol.
I slowly rubbed Carol’s back.
The lightning painted the room white, and each time the thunder cut through the air, Carol buried her face into my arms.
What’s so scary about this?
I stared blankly out the window.
The night is far scarier than thunderstorms. Specifically, I was talking about dreams.
After I had resolved to live as Sharon, I started to have nightmares. In my dreams, I was always covered in blood. A sickening odor stabbed my nose, and in my hands I held a cold dagger. Sometimes the dagger was blurry, and other times it would burst into flames. Some nights it would turn to water and drip down onto the floor. What was common in all of my dreams was that the dagger was stained with blood. Someone was collapsed in front of me, as if they were dead, but I didn’t know who it was. I would reach out with a trembling hand, but I always woke up before I could find out.
Compared to that, a thunderstorm is nothing.
I patted Carol on the back rhythmically and started to hum a song. At the sound, Carol stopped whimpering, and her eyes peeked open.
Was she feeling better now?
“Wow… Sharon, you’re really tone-deaf.”
…Shut up.
I didn’t say that out loud, though. Instead, I pulled her tighter into my arms.
When I was Nara Lee, I used to be able to sing well. But now, my rhythm and tone were off, making my song strange to listen to.
Carol grumbled when I stopped humming. “Why did you stop? You should continue. I like it even though you’re tone-deaf. Your voice is pretty when you sing.”
Was I supposed to be grateful for that? Carol had said that in such a straightforward and honest way that I couldn’t decide if it was a compliment or an insult.
Still, Carol forgot about the storm and soon fell asleep. I also fell asleep, but I later woke up in a cold sweat.
Just… Who are you?
I wanted to know who I killed, but at the same time, I didn’t. I had the feeling it was something I should not know.
After checking in on Carol, who was still sleeping peacefully beside me, I buried my face in my palms.
“Ah…”
Why am I dreaming such dreams?
Maybe it was a warning from the original Sharon to be careful with her life.
***
As the sun rose, Carol woke up looking refreshed.
“Sharon, when did you wake up?”
“Just a moment ago,” I said.
“Hmm…”
Oh, maybe she wasn’t so refreshed. She was dawdling now, burrowing into the blankets as if she didn’t want to get up. I tried to pull the blanket off.
“Wake up, Carol. Aren’t you going to meet the crown prince today?”
“No…”
“Didn’t I say that only bad kids lie?” I asked.
“…You did.”
Duke Gratoni was in the neutral faction. The Gratoni region had a long and honorable history; as such, a growing number of nobles followed him in declaring neutrality.