Jamie's interest was obvious, and his words had stopped me from running away and even elicited an answering confession of my own incomprehensible inclinations, yet the questions still lingered in my mind.
What was I going to do when the time came that he was gone from this world? For the first time in my life, I thought I understood why some vampires decided to meet the sun rather than continue searching for the next thing to amuse themselves with, like I always had.
But I wasn't going to waste my time worrying about the future right now. "I just want to enjoy my time with you for as long as I have it," I told him.
"So do I."
My stomach writhed. Was I nervous? What madness was this? I threw caution to the wind. "Will you come with me?"
"Yes."
The word was simple and certain. I did not need more encouragement than that. As I led Jamie through the halls, a thousand witty things went through my mind and begged to come out to lighten the mood, but for once I kept my bloody mouth shut.
His unresisting hand burned in my own, and under the sound of our footsteps was the sound of his heart beating, completely even, but slightly faster than normal, soothing and exciting all at once.
I didn't take Jamie to my chambers, because I knew that my guards would be stationed there, and the whole Carter interruption was more than enough already for this moment. It had appeared as if the cute human's green eyes were about to bulge out of his head and he flushed so brightly it might have made me thirsty if I had not already been well fed.
It was probably rather shocking for him that I had been engaging in anything physical with anyone, even this man who had so captured my attention. None of my living humans had ever seen me take a physical interest in anyone.
Instead, of leading him to either of our rooms, I took him to one of the suites that I maintained far from my humans' sleeping quarters for my occasional vampiric guests. The rooms had the added bonus of being in a fairly deserted corridor, so guards only passed through a couple of times a night. If we were fortunate, no one would even notice we were there, and tomorrow I could send one of the cleaning staff with orders to tidy the room with their mouth firmly shut.
I waited while Jamie opened the door, and he allowed me to precede him. I did so with a smile and a flutter in my stomach, and the door had barely shut before he pulled me into his arms again. I liked this aggressiveness, and it begged me to respond with my own.
There was no telling whether it had been Jamie or I who had manoeuvred us to the bed, but he lowered me down with surprising gentleness considering there was no way he could really hurt me. The action made the quiet cavity behind my ribs sweetly ache in a way that hinted of some deeper significance I would prefer to ignore.
I kissed him and we pulled off his clothing, revealing his active strength, and I reveled in the sight. My clothing joined his, and he paused to caress my skin as it was uncovered.
My hand wavered on the jagged scarring marring his chest. "I really am sorry about this," I whispered. I was so tired of pretending I didn't loath these repulsive markings and the damned council who enforced them.
He shrugged. "Don't care about that right now."
I sort of chuckled, but I was cut short as he turned his attention from his chest to mine, increasing a feeling that felt very much like heat inside of my cold form. It had been a very long time since I had felt this warm. I had a strong urge to hurry him, but I restrained myself to see what he would do without my interference.
His hands moved lower and he explored me, and I writhed at his touch. What he likely lacked in experience he more than made up for with instinct, and I could not summon a single complaint. My hands wandered as well, tracing the sculpted muscles I had so often admired.
Then, at last, my patience at its limit, I nudged him onto his back. Climbing over him, I took over, revelling in his groans of pleasure and his fixed attention. The knowledge that I was the only thing in his mind in that moment brought the headiest excitement.
Setting the pace, I found my own intense release, and he shuddered as he followed me, his deep groans filling me with pure satisfaction.
I kissed him again, and then slipped off of him to the side and laid my head on his shoulder. I was almost relieved when he wrapped his arm around me and secured me to his side in silent acceptance.
There was surely something I should say, but words escaped me in that moment. Instead, I just listened as his heart gradually slowed to its normal rhythm and his breathing evened until he was finally asleep.
I rested there with him a few more minutes after he started lightly snoring.
I had never really looked at him sleeping before, because sleeping humans as a rule were quite boring, snoring away the best hours of the night. I inspected his face. Something in the peaceful expression, smoothed of the constant watchfulness he usually bore, held my attention. There was something unbelievable about the fact that this human who had instinctively feared and hated me less than a year before was now sleeping calmly in my presence. Another odd twinge afflicted my motionless chest.
My mind wandered over the evening, and I could not stop the satisfied smile that took over my face. There really was something about him. His rough finesse had been rather invigorating.
I had felt desire and affection for each of my previous romantic partners, but this was different, and in a way that was perhaps more significant than the mere natural differences between relationships. I did not believe in such silliness as the idea of soul mates, but there was a part of me that almost wondered if he could have been designed for me. How else could such a man come into existence? Could I have crafted a more perfect specimen of fearless contention if I had tried?
I revelled in his unconscious embrace for a few more moments, but soon I needed to move. It was one thing for a human to sleep the night away, but I was wide awake and our activities had only doubled the energizing effect the darkness had upon me. Trying not to disturb him, I slipped from his arms and dressed myself. I need not have worried because it seemed he was dead to the world. The thought brought deep satisfaction.
He had fallen asleep on top of the covers, so I wandered around the room until I found an extra blanket in the top of the wardrobe to cover him with. The last thing I wanted was one of the guards walking in and finding my favourite human sleeping nude. I did not want him to be uncomfortable, whether by temperature or situation, even if it would be amusing. I grinned at the thought, but I absolutely wanted to avoid any possible reasons he might become reluctant and avoid a future repeat of these most pleasing activities.
With one more glance at his even features, I slipped from the room, locking the door behind me so that he would not be readily disturbed.
* * * * *
I could not quite hide my excellent mood as I went about my night, but luckily it was just me and a few guards awake, and as usual they kept to their tasks unless I intentionally bothered them.
To keep myself busy, I began properly planning what I would say when my regular house humans were assembled the next morning. I wanted them to both be comforted while still comprehending the harsh reality of the situation, two things which unfortunately might just be mutually exclusive.
Still, I might have had some luck if my mind did not keep wandering back to the last time I had seen Jamie. His lifestyle could not have left much time for him to be around females, but he definitely had a certain talent. He was so handsome and fearless and—
I moaned dramatically although there was no audience around to hear. I had become sidetracked again for the umpteenth time. I rolled my eyes at myself. Apparently having him once was not enough to get him out of my head, perhaps I would need to try again, soon. My smile widened.
Maybe Jamie was like arsenic, and continual doses would build up my resistance. Or maybe he would just kill me in the end. I could not even summon the sufficient worry to care. I wanted him, and having him made me happy. He was the ultimate entertainment, really, what more could I ask?
I crumpled up the piece of paper I had been writing on and threw it across the room, before thinking again and retrieving it. The whole speech read like a confession of everything I had been up to these past decades. I needed to be more careful since it was entirely possible that the wretched council would be nosing around my home soon. I could not wait to be rid of all the infernal interferences.
I took the crumpled paper over to one of the lit wall sconces and held the paper into the flames. The paper was consumed, leaving only insubstantial black ash in its wake. To my annoyance, pieces fell onto my floor and the paper burned until the flame licked my fingers.
"Ouch," I complained to the empty room. A moment after the burn occurred, it was gone, reversed by my unnatural healing abilities.
I considered leaving the mess for the cleaning humans, but I decided instead to just pick up the charred flakes myself since their morning would already be disrupted by my little assembly production.
My assembly, which I fully intended to wing at this point. No doubt the right words would come to me at the delightful moment when all eyes were upon me, and who would question me if they did not? Perhaps Jamie, but I rather thought he would likely give me the benefit of the doubt right now. I was certainly fond of him, at this particular moment.