I helped Maddox set up the dinner table as he walked over to the oven and pulled out the hot plate of Lasagna.
Sitting down, I see him place it in the middle of the table before pulling off the oven mitts and sitting at the opposite end. I swallowed, feeling his penetrating stare on me.
"Dax showed up?" He asked me as he took a sip of his Red Bull. I nodded as I stared at the untouched Lasagna.
"Hungry?" He asked me as he reached for the knife and started cutting it in squares. I nodded again as I offered my plate up for him. He gently placed a square of the cheesy food before placing one on his plate for himself also.
"So how is he? Does he look any better?" He asked me as he shoved a fork full of Lasagna in his mouth. I slowly nodded as I gulped.
--Flashback--
"I have to go" I say, hearing the intercom announce visiting hours are now over. I see Dax frown as he gives me a short nod. My bottom stayed planted on the chair and my legs didn't dare to move a muscle.
"I'll miss you" He says, giving me a short smile. I scoffed as I nodded, giving the air a kiss.
"Miss you more, broken boy" I say, winking. He chuckled as he shook his head.
"Is that your new nickname for me? Broken boy?" He asked with a small grin. I shook my head, my grin faltering.
"No. But even if it was, you're my broken boy." I say quietly. He blew me a kiss as he continued to stare me.
"Do me a favor yeah?" He asked as the male nurse stood behind him. I nodded as he stood up.
"Don't tell Maddox about what I did in here. He'll hate me even more than he does already" He says frowning before hanging up the phone.
I quickly stood up hanging my own as I nodded. He picked up his hand, showing me his healed tattoo before pointing at it.
'I love you' He mouthed.
He turned around with the nurse walking besides him, out of my sight.
--End of Flashback--
"Clean and sober" I say, chuckling before shoving food inside my mouth. I chewed slowly, trying to buy time. Glancing up at him, I see him suspiciously eye me as he took another chug of his drink.
"Go out with me?" He asked randomly. I furrowed my eyebrows as I shook my head confused by his statement.
"What?" I asked puzzled.
"Be my girlfriend" He said bluntly as he picked the food around his plate. My fork slipped from my hand, chattering against the glass plate. He lifted his gaze up from his food, staring at me confused.
"I'm sorry" I say, shaking my head as I picked up my fork. I chuckled nervously.
"For a second I thought you said to be your girlfriend" I say shaking my head. I shove another fork filled inside my mouth before glancing at him. He nodded his head at me, placing his arms on either side of his plate.
"I said that."
My blood pressure dropped as I stopped chewing, staring at him wide eyed. I quickly swallowed before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
"Why would you ask me that?" I asked, disorientated. He sighed before looking down at his plate in silence. I reached for the water bottle in front of me as I stared at him. I slowly uncapped it before taking a chug, while my free hand pushed my plate aside.
My appetite vanished.
"Jennifer, we both know that Dax isn't the guy for you" He says, not meeting my gaze.
"You're not the guy for me Maddox"
"I know-" He cut himself off as he grinded his teeth together and fisted his left hand on the table before answering.
"I know that Jennifer. But I could change, I could change into whatever you want me to be" He says, pleading with his eyes. I shook my head as I furrowed my eyebrows.
"I'm with Dax" I say quietly.
"Dax" He snapped.
"Dax this, Dax that. But where the fuck is Dax?" He snarled. He stood up pushing the chair behind him with the back of his knees as he stalked towards me.
"I'm here Jennifer."
He reached for my hand, sliding it down his chest. Glaring at him, I pulled my hand out of his grasp as I stood up.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I shouted, confused. He lowered his gaze before glancing back up at me. He reached for my shoulders, pulling me close up against him.
"I want you" He whispered. His attention falling down onto my lips. Instinctively licking my bottom lip caused a growl to vibrate through his chest as he leaned down.
I pulled away from him shaking my head as I sped around the table.
"Are you drunk?" I stopped and asked him. He pierced his lips as he folded his arms across his chest. He shook his head as he clenched his jaw.
"You don't want a person like me, Maddox" I try reasoning with him.
"I'm nothing but trouble and frustration."
"Doesn't matter, no ones perfect." He said, giving me a short shrug. I rolled my eyes as I leaned back against the table. I eyed him up and down, seeing him literally throwing himself at me. I shook my head again not wanting to mess anything up.
Flashes of Fenix asking me to be his, resurfaced in my memory as I scratched my cheekbone.
Memory of me agreeing.
"No" I say, shaking my head, I lift my gaze off the floor. His eyes burnt with rejection as he nodded. His eyebrows snapped together as he rolled his neck around.
"So you'd rather be with that motherfucker than with me?" He snarled. He glared at me with hatred as I took a step closer to him.
"That motherfucker gave you this roof over your head" I snapped.
"That motherfucker is trying his best to become better"
"Yeah but we both know that'll never last." He said, giving me a dry smirk with a shake of his head.
"Just like the both of you"
My hand lashed out and slapped him across the cheek, turning his face to the side with the action. His nostrils flared as he took a step towards me.
"Maddox, I'm sorry" I say, outstretching my hand out to stop him. His vein throbs on his forehead as he becomes red with anger. He continued to walk towards me until I bumped into the wall behind me.
"Jennifer" He says through his clenched jaw. I stared at the hand print against his cheek.
Pause.
"Don't ever"
Pause.
"Do"
Pause.
"That"
Pause.
"Again" He says, after pauses trying to control his anger. I gulped as I shook my head. His eyes slightly widen, seeing me resent him.
"Fuck you" I chuckle. His jaw twitches as he flicks his head to the side. I shake my head as he reaches his hand out to brush a strand away.
A burp resurfaces from his chest blowing it against my face, the horrid odor of schnapps. I scrunched up my nose in disgust as I push him away from me.
"You're drunk, fucking liar" I spat.
"Yeah well, I thought you said 'you wanted me', while we were fucking" He says bluntly with a shrug of his shoulders. I stared at him wide eyed as the air left my lungs.
"Remember when you moaned in my ear" He whispers, coming closer to me again.
"Clung to me like I was the air you needed to breathe"
"Dug your nails into me while I was deep inside you." He says nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. I swallowed hard, feeling him inhale.
"You always smell so good" He growls. His hands reached up, sliding up the edge of my shirt. I stopped him, pushing his hands aside.
"Maddox stop" I pleaded.
"If I recall, you didn't want me to stop at all" He smirked. I clenched my jaw as he pulled back staring down at me with lust filled eyes.
"You don't want me to stop, do you?" He said, seductively. I shook my head pushing him away from me again. He grabbed my wrist, placing them over my head.
"Maddox, you're hurting me"
"But it's the good type of hurt" He says as he leans in placing a sloppy kiss against my ticklish spot. I shrieked out as my chuckles surrounded the room. I feel him smile against my skin as I compose myself.
"Maddox!" I snap. He quickly pulled back with a frown on his face. I fixed my shirt and pushed back my hair before fully facing him.
"You're drunk. Stop touching me" I say firmly. He leans down, unexpectedly capturing my lips in his. My lips instinctively kissed him back before realization kicked in and I pulled myself away.
"What the fuck Maddox!" I yelled at him, wiping my mouth in disgust with the back of my hand. He gave me hazily grin before running his tongue over his bottom lip.
"Did I hear fuck?" He asked innocently. I glared at him before turning to leave but his hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me back against him.
I crashed into his hard chest as I glared up at him. He chuckles as if this was an amusing game to him before flicking a strand of hair away from my temple.
"One more kiss yeah?" He pouted. I scoffed before pulling away from him again and this time he let me.
I rushed into Daxon's room, locking the door behind me. My hand unthinkingly reached up and brushed against my lips where Maddox had kiss me.
It's been forever since I let a guy kiss me.
I shake my head as I drop my hand and walk over to the closet searching for some clothes. After grabbing a random baby blue hoodie and pajama bottoms, I silently open the door and stick my head out the room.
After the coast being clear, I quickly make my way over to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I slid down until I was sitting on the floor.
Emotions I didn't want to think about poked at my heart with a stick. I don't see Maddox anything more than just a friend but why does my heart say differently?
My heart doesn't speed up when I see him.
And butterflies never erupt.
Puzzled, I stood up and walked over to the shower. Turning the water on, I began stripping my clothes off until I was left bare and stepped into the warm water. I hummed in satisfaction as the water coated me.
My eyes fly open, hearing the door. Tucking my wet hair behind my ear, I listened attentively trying to find a sound that someone was in here with me. I let out a sigh in relief when suddenly, the curtain flew open.
I quickly covered my parts as I shrieked seeing Maddox eye me up and down. Disgust erupted in the pit of my stomach as I saw him violate me with his eyes.
"Get the fuck out" I choked out as tears formed in my eyes from embarrassment. His attention lifted to my face as he started to undress himself. My eyes widen as I saw him slip himself out of his shirt and tugged off his pants.
I closed my eyes as I felt him slip inside the shower naked with me. My body started to tremble with fear as he started to massage his scalp.
"Maddox, whatever you're thinking" I say shakily. I shake my head as he opens his eyes and stares down at me.
"Please don't" I whispered. His eyebrows crease as he walked towards me. I took a step back, bumping into the shower wall. He continues to take another step, caging me in with his arms on either side of me.
"I would never" He says sincerely, referring to raping me. He leaned forward pressing a gentle kiss against my forehead causing me to shudder. Leaning down, he placed soft kisses against my jaw line, along my neck and collarbone.
"Maddox, we can't" I say, shaking my head. He ignores me as he continues to leave sloppy kisses along my body. Pulling away, he quickly grabbed the back of my head bringing my lips to his.
"Just this once" He whispered against me. My breath hitches as he leans in capturing my lips. His tongue ran over my bottom lip causing me to tremble as I gave in. He turned the knob behind me, making the water more warm.
In an instant, the goosebumps around my body disappeared. I pull away but he pulls me back against him causing me to gasp. He quickly took the chance to dive his tongue inside my mouth. Unexpectedly my hands clung onto his shoulders, keeping myself steady as we continued to make out.
"This is cheating" I say pulling back as I stared up at him. He shook his head as he lowered himself down onto the crook of my neck. I sighed as he harshly tugged my hair, giving him access to my exposed neck.
I closed my eyes as I felt his tongue run over the spot he nipped me on.
"This is cheating" I repeated again trying to drown out my moans.
"This is our secret" He says, pulling away to stare down at my eyes. I lowered my gaze feeling guilty about Dax. I shake my head as I turned around.
I gasp feeling his hands clamp down onto waist and pull me towards his hard erection. I swallowed as he leaned down and started nipping me. Instinctively, my hands flew up and wrapped around his neck.
His hands slid up, kneading my boobs causing me to let out a shaky breath. I turned around, seeing his eyes captivating me. I stared at him as I bit down onto my bottom lip.
"This isn't cheating" He says pausing as he lowered his hand down onto himself. He seductively stroked himself as he watched me eye his movements. My tongue darted out towards my bottom lip.
"This is our secret" He tempted. He reached forwards me as I took a step closer to him. I absentmindedly nodded slowly as he traced random patterns on my stomach near my shaven mound. My breathing hitched as he slid his hand undesirably slow up to my chest.
"Say it" He demanded as he pinched my nipple. I closed my eyes as I felt him press a flat palm against my lower back, pressing me against him.
"This is our secret" I whispered, opening my eyes filled with allurement. He smirked as he leaned forward flicking my lower lip with his tongue. I quickly pressed my lips to his as he hauled me up against him.
I tightly wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed a hand behind my back and leaned us against the cold shower wall. He growled as I lowered my attention onto his neck.
Positioning himself, he slammed into me causing my head to whip back as I arched myself against him.
"So tight" He groaned out shakily. I bit my lower lip as he continued to thrust inside me, I opened my eyes and started seeing stars above. He dug his face deeper into the crook of my neck as I wrapped myself tighter around him.
A loud moan escaped from me as I rotated myself around him, feeling him stretch me.
"You feel good" I breathed out. He grunted as he continued to pound inside me. I arched my back as the water fell between us and onto his chest.
He completely pulled out before setting me on the floor. I stood up and watched him as he knelt down and spread my legs open. I gasp feeling his tongue dart out and lick my clit. I shook my head as I grabbed onto his roots tugging on his hair.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I began shaking against him. I looked down at him seeing him stare at me lustfully as he devoured me side to side and front to back.
I quickly pulled him up before turning around and bracing myself against the wall. I turned my head to the side, waiting for him to enter me from behind. He tucks my hair behind my ear before thrusting himself inside me.
He continues to harshly pound inside me causing me to wince.
'But it's the good type of hurt'
A smile rested on my face as I felt him enter himself completely before pulling out, he did this twice before my legs started to tremble against him.
"Don't cum yet" He snarled against the shell of my ear. I shook my head as I felt him tug on my hair, exposing my neck. I quietly moaned feeling his thrusts become slower.
"Don't stop Maddox" I whined. He grunted before his thrust became faster once again.
"Louder" He growled. I whimpered as the pain resurfaced again.
"I want to hear you moan" He moaned out. I grimaced as I let out a strangled moan, widening my legs.
"Oh fuck" He groaned. I hazily smiled feeling nothing but pleasure, I reached behind me wrapping my arms around his neck. He continued to pound into me as his hands slid up and kneaded my breasts. I shivered causing him to take this invitation to pinch me.
"Are you close?" He whispered, seductively. I nodded unhesitatingly as I moaned out, gripping him tighter. He clamped his teeth down onto my neck, causing me to sway.
He groaned in my ear, biting my earlobe.
"Harder" I moan out, feeling him slow down. I gasp, feeling him hit my sweet spot multiple times, I stood on my tippy toes as curse words echoed through me falling on my climax. He grunted riding my high before pulling himself out.
I turn around seeing him still painfully hard. I panted feeling myself incredibly sore. He shook his head as he tried evening out his breathing.
"I don't have a condom." He said, shaking his head.
"Are you on the pill?" He asked as he licked his lips, I shook my head as I began kneeling down. As if reading my mind, he walked towards me positioning himself against my mouth. I opened my mouth, feeling him sliding inside me.
I began sucking as I held onto his hips for support. He grinded his teeth together before grabbing a handful of hair in his grip and forcing me to take him deeper.
"More" He groaned. I began sucking him harder, my cheeks hollowing with the action causing his thighs to tremble. I smiled against him, knowing the shaky feeling.
He started moving his hips against my actions, helping himself into fucking my mouth.
He did it twice, three times until I felt him twitch inside me before cumming down my throat. He trembled as he stared down at me, still licking him dry. Once I was satisfied I stood up, dragging a finger from the corner of my lips and collecting a finger full of cum.
I stared up at him as my tongue darted out, licking my finger pad.
He reached for me, tugging me closer to him as he pressed his lips against me. I circled my arms around him as he deepened the kiss, tasting himself of my tongue.
∞
I toss and turned on my sides as I stared blankly at the wall. My fisted hand reached up and banged against my forehead as frustration and guilt surrounded me along with my insomnia.
I fucked up.
I fucked up with Dax. I always let my emotions cloud my judgement and the sad part is, I know.
I know that I let it and I don't do anything about it .
I don't even try.
I sit up from the bed, leaning against the headboard as I stare down at my tattooed thigh. I silently trace the bird feeling hollow.
'I'm a horrible person'
The words Fenix said to me echoed throughout my mind as I continued to draw over the design. I could relate.
I'm a horrible person because once I get a taste of love, I'm a gone.
I throw myself to whoever gives me a vibe of wanting me.
When they don't.
Maddox doesn't want me because we always want what we can't have.
He wants me just because Dax has me.
And he knows that I know.
But I do nothing, like always.
Team Maddox?
Team Dax?