"Come on Jiwoo, you need to sort your feelings"
Jiwoo looks over her shoulder, eyes rolling at Yeonjun trailing behind her as she turns to the green sweater she was eyeing on the rack. They have spent the entire day together, getting breakfast with Soobin before he had to leave to meet his parents shortly before noon. Yongsun had some errands to run thus she was unable to join the two of them.
That is how they end up wondering around the shopping mall, killing time on a very peaceful Saturday.
"I am not going to tell him"
Yeonjun grunted again, nudging at her shoulder as he pinches the side of her arm slightly. "You are being a chicken"
"And you are being so Yeonjun—annoying"
He sighs as Jiwoo ignore him again, walking further ahead the aisle of colourful sweaters, focusing on shopping instead of the issue. He listened to her confession over lunch earlier and was surprised she does not plan on pursuing her crush. Years of knowing Jiwoo, he understands what is stopping her but then, it does not mean she doesn't deserve to try.
He met Officer Kim once during their little party that night over Haru's place and he knew instantly he is such good man—a dependable one. He is amazed with Officer Kim, his dedication towards his work is beyond admirable. Officer Kim shared his experiences light-heartedly, with no intention of gloating his expertise to them and that made him respect him even more.
So, when Jiwoo admitted she likes him for quite some time already, it sparks a thought of something he had witnessed that night.
He had seen the way Officer Kim keeps glancing at Jiwoo. But he was not sure if anyone else had seen it.
"Jiwoo", he catches her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Why don't you talk to him?"
"To who? Officer Kim? Are you out of your freaking mind?", she frowns, crossing her arms as she looks at him. "I can't do that"
"And why is that?"
Jiwoo takes one long breath as she closes her eyes, exhaling slowly as she tries to calm herself. She knows his intention is good and admitted she might need the little push but for some reason, she is still hesitant on this matter. She just does not want to hope so much and end up breaking her own heart in the future.
She needs to take care of her heart too.
Jiwoo was about to say something when a woman suddenly appeared beside them, looking at them with mindful eyes as if she wants something.
"I am sorry—But, I would like to see the sweater here", she points at the white sweater directly beside Yeonjun. "I didn't mean to interrupt"
"I am sorry", Jiwoo smiles politely at the lady, pulling Yeonjun to the side to make way for her.
"Thank you very much", she replies.
Jiwoo turns to Yeonjun again, still frustrated at her friend for never dropping this matter ever since she brought it up over lunch. "Yeonjun, seriously, I just don't think I will ever confess or say anything to him. That's something impossible"
She glances at the lady at the side, watching as she waves at someone from across the space but before she could even turn, the lady suddenly calls the person's name.
"Namjoon! Here! I am here!"
Her head turned in a flash, spotting Officer Kim making his way towards them—the lady to be more precise – and he seems to not realize the presence of Yeonjun and herself.
No words could explain the way her heart actually stopped beating for a fleeting second, her skin tightening within the small time frame, head completely wiped off any thoughts. It was too late for her to flee the scene and drag Yeonjun with her when Officer Kim raised his eyebrows as he comes closers, surprised to see them obviously.
"Eh? Jiwoo-ssi?", he stops in front of her, making the lady turns to her. "Yeonjun?"
"Officer Kim!", Yeonjun happily greets him. "Yes, I am here with Jiwoo—shopping. You're here to shop too?"
Jiwoo doubts she can even muster a smile that moment, still shocked and caught off guard by his sudden appearance. To top it all, knowing that the lady beside her called for him earlier.
Who could this lady be? His colleague? His friend? His sister? Or, his girlfriend?
"Joon?", the lady steps forward, smiling sweet at the two of them as her eyes dart to Joon and them back and forth.
Namjoon looks a little confused for a second, perhaps wondering how to introduce them both but then he was saved by Yeonjun who casually yet politely did the deed. The lady looks surprised, maybe because the two of them look very young compared to Namjoon's other friends but otherwise, she looks delighted to meet them.
"I can leave you three to catch up if—"
"It's okay!", Yeonjun cuts her off, gently taking Jiwoo's hand. "We are leaving already"
"Oh—Yes, we are", Jiwoo finally speaks, putting up a small smile on her shaken face. "Nice to meet you, please have a good day"
Namjoon smiles tightly as he watches Yeonjun practically dragged Jiwoo out of the department store, leaving him and the lady alone at the section. He wasn't sure about it but it felt like something was amiss during their short meeting a moment ago. Jiwoo looks a little perplexed and Yeonjun certainly looks a little too cheerful.
"Sooooo, why were you all blank hmm?", the lady pokes his arm. "I didn't know you have young friends"
Namjoon turns to the lady, clearing his throat before finally relaxing his shoulders. "That was—n-nothing"
"Are they dating? They look so cute together though", she spins around, turning her attention back to the white sweater she was eyeing.
"I think so—maybe", he shrugs his shoulder, adjusting his cap before turning to the lady. "Dami, you asked me out to accompany you find a sweater?"
"Well, and dinner of course. Since my fiancé couldn't accompany me, might as well as you out instead"
Namjoon shakes his head, bitterly smiling as he follows behind her. "Asking your ex-fiancé out sounds like a better option than your friends?"
"Joon, that's 3 years ago. Cut it out. We are adults and the only reason I contacted you again is because I genuinely care about you—as a friend—and also, we talked about this remember?"
Namjoon could not argue any further as Dami gave him a look that says she is done with the topic. After all, there is clearly no more romantic feelings between then, all buried and forgotten three years ago after she decided to call it off. Not in a dramatic way, but more in a rational way. Both accepted the fact they couldn't work out, and they admitted to be better off without each other.
But Dami confessed that she still cares for him as a friend and she tried her best to be a friend to Namjoon at the beginning. Namjoon took it the hard way and decided to cut ties with her, blocked her everywhere because he needed time to fix himself. Dami gave him all the time and she promised not to meddle with his life as he requested her to do so.
Not until recently, she contacted him to inform him she is finally getting married.
"Soooo, tell me about your future husband"
"He's not a police officer for a start", Dami laughs lowly, but then she turns to check on him. "Okay, it was a joke, and I didn't mean to offend you"
"Come on, you didn't"
"Sooooo, tell me about your new crush then"
-
"Mother reaaaaaaaalllly wants to meet Taehyung you know?"
Looking up from her bowl of noodle, Haru frowns at her sister seated across the small dining table of her house. Areum invited her over for dinner after work and she insisted that they dine at her house since Haru has yet to visit her new place since she moved back to Seoul.
"I talked to mother this evening and she was pestering me to invite you for lunch or dinner—with Taehyung"
Putting her chopsticks down gently, Haru pressed the sides of her head as she thinks about her mother. And her father too. Deep down, she is aware of her own desperate need to finally put everything behind, repair the parts that are broken and reconcile. Start anew. But there is this little hole in her heart that is so impossible to patch. All the years of constant disappointment and heartbreaks never cease to make her feel completely at ease. Not even now.
"Haru"
She looks up at her sister. "What?"
"I know we did you wrong. We know. You know. All of us know. And I am not forcing you to forgive and forget. None of us are. I am not disregarding your excuses not wanting to validate our attempt to fix this—but we are trying to be better at this. One step at a time. Father and Mother have been home since Haneul's passing, putting some life in the house. They repainted your room, changed all furniture and even fill your room with bookshelves since you love reading so much. They are trying. I am not buying you with this talk of them spending money on you, but I am laying down their effort on the table for you to see"
The mention of bookshelves and the fact her parents actually know she loves reading surprised the soft part of her.
"I am still hurting, you know"
"I know"
"But I am trying to fix myself, so that I can fix everything. So many things happened within this very short period—I can barely process everything yet. Give me some time. I just need time"
Areum smile weakly as she nods, comprehending the look on her sister's face. Haru needs the time. She really does. Out of all people impacted by the recent happenings, Haru felt the most.
"Let's change the topic", Areum grins at her. "Soooooo is Jiwoo dating that hot officer yet?"
Haru almost choked on her plain water, spilling some on her lap as she meet's Areum's mischievous eyes.
"What? I thought something is going on between them? That man was all over that night and it was obvious?"
"All over her?"
"Officer Kim kept looking at her direction, and whenever Jiwoo talks to Soobin and Yeonjun, he would turn around to look—obvious crush on her I see?"
"I didn't realize that...."
"Of course, you were not, you were all cuddling around with your man"
-
Haru and Jiwoo promised to meet up for dinner that Friday, planning to dine at their favourite pasta place near their university. They have been going there since the very first year of their university and has become their instant favourite.
The initial plan was to meet on Wednesday, after work, but the both of them got caught up with work and they were too exhausted to even do anything else. Thus, they decided to meet up on Friday instead, so that they do not have to worry about anything since the next day is the weekend.
"I feel weird", Jiwoo says as she twirls his fork in the middle of her pasta, droopy eyes staring into her place. "I mean, I have been single for like forever and suddenly I like someone?"
"Why do you think it's weird?"
Jiwoo scoops one mouthful of paste, chewing them lazily as she rests a hand on the edge of the table, sighing. She has no idea why it feels weird to like Officer Kim. It feels so out of place to like someone like him and it is making her clueless as the feeling begin to grow.
Not a night goes by without her staring into her ceiling, wondering what to do with her unsettling feelings that seems to put her on the edge whenever the thought of Officer Kim crosses her mind. He seems to live in her head. And the thought of him brings more pain than pleasure. It pains her because there is nothing, she is capable of doing but to just admire him from afar.
"Jiwoo", Haru calls her again when she realized her friend spaced out. "You're spacing out"
"I am sorry", she shakes her head, snapping out of her trail of thoughts. "Also, I don't know who's the lady I bumped into with Yeonjun the other day. Could be his girlfriend?"
"About that", Haru lifts a hand. "Girlfriend? Why do you say so? Were they holding hands? Did the kiss or something?"
Jiwoo shakes her head, closing her eyes as she replays the memory in her head. She remembers the lady, so tall and beautiful, eyes so big and sparkly, high nose and her facial features so close to perfection. Such a match for someone as perfect as Officer Kim.
Whenever she thinks of that lady and Officer Kim, her heart aches and she wishes nothing but to forget all these heavy feelings and go on with her life. She doesn't know why it hurt so much. Her crush towards Officer Kim is clearly a mild one but why does the thought of the lady break her every single time.
"Jiwoo, you cannot be sure of that lady being his girlfriend", Haru frowns at her. "They could be friends or colleagues"
"I don't know. Maybe it was a sign. I shouldn't even think I have a chance with him"
Haru watches as her friend scoops another mouthful of pasta, lazily eating them as her eyes stare into nothing. Jiwoo has been like this since the day she met Officer Kim and the lady at the mall. Her assumption is that the lady could be someone special to Officer Kim and that fact crushes all hope for her to even stand a chance with him.
Not that she intends to do something about her feelings but still, it crushed her.
"Jiwoo, you can't do this to yourself you know"
"I'll get over it", she suddenly straightens her body, pushing all gloominess aside and puts a cheerful face instead. "Life goes on"
"Life goes on my ass. You'll spend the entire weekend crying in your bed and rejecting my calls. I will break your door if you do not answer my calls. You get me?"
~~~~
NOTE
Hello everyone! Here is another update. I hope this chapter is good and enjoyable he he he. We are actually approaching the end of this book T-T, and I really dont know what to feel.....
But, thank you for waiting and thank you for reading! Love you~💕