Chapter 31
The car came to a stop in front of my apartment building. The pavement was wet and the night was cold and quiet. Leaves rustled as the faint sound of sirens blared from a distance.
"So, you wanna tell me what happened?"
My heart pounded in my chest. I want to? I don't? I don't know. I think I want to but I'm scared.
"It's okay if you're not ready. Or if you don't want to tell at all. I'm just concerned, that's all. You're not usually this silent. And you were crying on your way out of the party."
"I'm n– "
"Don't bother lying, Lauren. Any person with even a single working eye can tell you were."
I heaved a sigh and I looked up as I blinked away the onslaught of coming tears.
"Hey, I'm here." His hand went over mine and gave a gentle squeeze.
My eyes swayed over our now-joined hands then over his sympathetic gaze. "I know. Thank you," I nodded. "Truly."
He smiled, tight-lipped, and gave my hand another squeeze before letting go.
I looked up at the starless night as he slumped back on the driver's seat. I never thought this night would end like this. Me sitting in a parked car with a different man I came to the party with.
I exhaled loudly, catching Dean's attention. "Axel tricked me."
His brows knit together, "How so?"
I cleared my throat in a sad attempt to muster up confidence in speaking, "He, uh, hm," I let out a humorless smile as I shook my head. "I knew it from the start. He made clear of his intentions. It was my fault for forgetting it, or maybe believing that there was something more than just a game."
He nodded for me to go on, lost without context.
"We're dating because of a dare."
"Oh."
I explained everything, never missing the important details – how we had a bet at a club, how he went to my apartment, how we wound up with the five-dates dare, and so on.
Dean just listened. He gave an occasional nod from time to time, but he just listened. Not once did he interrupt me, and that weirded me out somehow – I was so used to men injecting their opinions that it was bizarre how he stayed silent while I talked.
By the time I finished the story, his jaw was clenching like crazy and for a second, I was afraid he might hit something with his fury. I placed my hand over his cold clenching fists. He looked at me in disbelief, his eyes saying a million words, asking how can I not be mad? How can I be so calm?
I shook my head slowly and gave him a sad smile, "There's nothing I can do about it. It's part of life. You play a game, you lose. You trust someone, they betray you. There's no use in moping around. I was just disappointed."
I felt his hands soften under mine, "But what if you can?"
I retracted my hands slowly, skeptical of his suggestion, "What do you mean?"
Footsteps jogging near us caught my attention.
Clark?
My eyes widened at the sight of him.
"What the fuck?" I cursed under my breath.
"Pardon me?"
Clark saw me and was about to walk near the convertible.
I panicked and grabbed Dean by the neck and crashed my lips against his.
"Mmfff"
I closed my eyes to avoid making eye contact with Clark.
Dean's lips started to sync with mine and guilt gnawed in my gut because as much as I wanted to get lost in the moment, the fear of facing Clark again reigns in the back of my head.
I opened my eyes a little to take a peek if he was still there or anywhere nearby. Once the coast is clear, I let go of the kiss.
"Wow," he said, dazed. "If that's for the ride then to heck with the modeling career. I'd ditch that any day to be your driver."
My lips turned upwards as I released a breath, my ears felt hot. "I'm sorry," I looked down.
"Hey," he lifted my chin with his thumb. "Why would you apologize for that?"
"Because you deserve better and I used you. Twice tonight, actually."
His forehead creased.
"You were my getaway car and my shield tonight," I explained. "I had to get away from Axel and I just saw my ex-boyfriend in front of my building."
"What? Where?" His head flew around in search of Clark.
"He went away." I shook my head then looked down to avoid his gaze, afraid of the judgment. "I'm sorry. I've never been one with boy problems but it seems to follow me around lately."
His voice turned serious, "Then use me."
I looked up and found his eyes staring into mine. "What?"
"Use me."
"Why would you even –"
"Let me help you. I'd rather be helping you than be on the flip side."
"You can't seriously mean that."
"It's alright."
My eyes danced on his face, looking for any sign of trickery, but to no avail. I shook my head. This is insane.
"I can't do that to you, Dean. You're too good."
"Goddamnit. I'm not too good." He snapped like a guitar string splitting in half.
I was taken aback and I adjusted from my seat.
His eyes were instantly filled with worry and regret. "I didn't mean it like that. I..." his eyes softened, "I apologize." He sighed and slumped back on his seat, looking past the windshield. "It's just that I've been rejected so many times because I'm too good. Auntie Lorrie hunted me several times tonight because she wanted to introduce me to the daughter of Mrs. Miller from Bookclub."
He turned to me, "Use me and I'll use you."
My forehead creased.
"Not sexually!" he laughed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, for Christ's sakes."
I shook my head, feeling the blood rush to my face.
"Although..."
"Hey!" I protested. He laughed.
"But in all seriousness. It wouldn't be such a bad idea, don't you think?"
"I don't know. Explain more of your proposal."
"Use me as a cover and be free of your boy toys. And I'll use you as a cover to get my aunt off my back. A win-win situation, if you ask me. So, what do you think?"
"Hm... I'd have to think about it."
"Come on, you already used me as a cover from that ex-boyfriend of yours. Tell me, how did you break his heart?"
I chuckled humorlessly, "I did not. But he did mine."
"What? Come on now."
"I'm serious."
His eyes squinted as he shook his head, "Nah."
"It's true."
"No. Uh-uh. I didn't have a good look at the guy but I refuse to believe that he broke your heart."
"Haven't you learned anything from tonight? I'm like a player magnet."
"Pfff. What is it he did then?"
"Well, I walked in on him fucking my roommate."
"Oooh, she curses."
I scoffed, "That's what you got from that sentence?"
He shrugged and we just laughed. At what, I do not know. All I know is that he tries his best to make light of the situation and that comforts me somehow and I admire him for that.
He inhaled sharply, "Blimey." and smoothed the top of his head.
"Why?"
"Paparazzi, 4 o'clock."
"What?" I moved my head to look at the side mirror.
"Don't look." He warned.
"I wasn't gonna look directly at them. I'll check through the side mirror."
"Oh. I forgot you're actually smart."
I craned my neck closer to his side as I tried to see where the paparazzi are.
His hand settled on my cheek.
I looked up to meet his eyes, "What are you doing?" I whispered.
His throat bobbed up and down. "Making it official?" he leaned closer and closed the gap between our lips. My lids slowly melted to a close as his lips gently move against mine. I felt the heat rise to my head as his thumb caressed my cheek, moving to my ear, then the back of my head, and finally settling on my neck.
I forgot that kissing Dean was otherworldly, but a voice screams at the back of my head, saying that this is too much. I broke free from the kiss, silently catching my breath. I leaning my forehead against his and I felt the sides of his lips curl upwards.
"You think they got enough?"
"What?" his voice like a scratched record. "Oh. Yeah." He settled back on his seat and suddenly, the heat that was once present was replaced by a hailstorm – icy and hurtful. This charade will hurt us both in the end. And we both know it.
I exhaled a breath, "Maybe we shouldn't have done that."
"There's no turning back now."
I nodded for the lack of words, looking past the windshield, to the dark pavement, lighted by street lights. I looked at him, still not sure if what we're doing is a disaster waiting to happen.
"It's alright." He nodded reassuringly. "Walk you to your door?"
"Are the paps still around?"
"I don't think so. They got what they need. Why are they following you anyway? Because they sure aren't following me."
"It was Axel."
His eyes bulged.
"I know, it's a long story. We could talk about it over coffee. Or tea? In your case."
"Nah, coffee's fine."
"Plan out how this plan of ours will go?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, as you said, there's no turning back now."
He bit his lip and nodded in understanding.
I don't even understand what we're doing. This is insane. My mind is a puddle.
"Let's go?" He cocked his head towards the building.
"Yeah."
* * *
The next day Dean wanted us to meet somewhere a little more secluded – outside the city, to be precise. He's the one who thought of it so, props to him for being planned and safe.
Uh, that sounded a little more sexual than I'd intended but you get it.
The Uber stopped and I looked out the window only to see a ginormous iron gate surrounded by tall well-maintained hedges.
"We're here?"
"Yes, Miss. This was the address you gave me."
"Oh, great. Um, can you wait for me just a second? I'll ask if we got to the right place."
"Sure." The driver said and I got out.
I walked closer to the gate and found an intercom. Wow, I've only seen one of these in movies.
I pressed on it and talked, "Hi, I'd like to ask if I got the right address, is this where Dean Harvey lives?"
"Hey, Lauren, come on in." Dean's voice flowed through the intercom and the gate slid open. Oh.
"I got the address right. Thank you and I'll be sure to give you five stars. Be safe." I said to the Uber driver before going in.
A big patch of freshly-mowed Bermuda grass next to the driveway greeted me. And there's also Dean jogging from the gazebo, hair flowing with the wind.
"Hey," he beamed as he reached me.
"Hi," I smiled and he walked next to me.
"I prepared us a little something in the gazebo, I hope you don't mind."
"Are you kidding me? You shouldn't have."
"Yeah, I know. But I want to."
There was a fresh bouquet of flowers in the middle and different sorts of pastries. Next to it are two metal dispensers labeled with Coffee and Tea.
I chuckled, "This is excessive, Dean. But the coffee's a good touch."
"Yeah, I remember what you said. Please, sit." I sat facing the front garden.
"I didn't know you lived in a gated residential," I spoke as he sat in front of me.
He chuckled, "I don't."
"Oh, God, we're not committing a crime, aren't we?"
He laughed, "No, of course not. This is my family's vacation house. Dad doesn't like to live in apartments."
"Oh, where do you live then?"
"In an apartment in West Village."
I scoffed, "What does your dad think of you?" I asked sarcastically.
"Oh, you should've seen the disgust in his face when I told him I rented an apartment."
"Did he convince you to live here instead?"
"That he did, but in the end, I won. I mean he wouldn't be the one who'll have a hard time moving to and from places."
"Checks out."
"So, what do you think of this tryst?" He picked up a teacup and filled it with coffee.
"I wouldn't call it a tryst, it's much more like a rendezvous."
"I'll take it. Oh, here," He handed me the coffee.
"Thanks. Coffee in a teacup, and tea without a teapot. How quaint." I teased.
"I know what I did with the tea is sacrilegious. Sue me."
I laughed then took a sip of the coffee, "Hey, this is really good."
"Right? But I'll have tea."
"You Brits and your tea."
"You Americans and your coffee." He countered.
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever. So, what is it that you have in mind?"
"Well," he placed the cup on a tea plate. "I think we have to map out how this goes. Set some plans and follow it."
"Hm, a Type A too, I see."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No. It's just that we're more alike than I thought we were."
"The world wouldn't bring us together if we were polar opposites."
"Hm, well, the world works in mysterious ways."
"That it does. So, tell me, what's in your diary?"
"Excuse me?" The porcelain clinked as I placed the cup down its plate.
"So that we could sync up our schedules."
"Oh, you mean planner?"
"Right. That's what you call it."
"Um, I know work will be hectic starting tomorrow and I'll be in Sydney next week."
"Oh, you're flying out?"
"Yeah, we have to audit the Sydney branch."
"That's great. See, I told you it's important to sort everything."
I let out a breathy chuckle. The birds tweeting from a distance. "Yeah, I agree, but don't you think it's a little too early to map out how this goes? I mean our agreement's not set in stone. You could still back out."
His eyes squinted, "Do you want to back out, Lauren?"
"No!" I sounded more defensive than I'd want to. "Um, I mean... Ugh. I can't explain."
"Hey, it's alright." He held out his hand to mine, "Breathe in." I inhaled as instructed. "Breathe out." I let out a loud breath. "Look at me," He said then smiled. "I want you to remember that you can talk to me. I'm not Axel or Clark, or whoever else."
"Hey!"
He chuckled, "I only meant you can be honest with me all the time. We're on the same page here."
I nodded.
"And just to be clear, I know we're doing this to give Axel a taste of his own medicine and to get my nosy Aunt off my back," sunlight bounced off a metal thingy and blinded me for a second. "But I want you to know that I like you, Lauren."
"Oh." I felt a tick in my temple. What a time for a horrible headache. I massaged the web between my forefinger and thumb. I read somewhere that it could help relieve headaches.
"I really do."
"What?" I was seeing green spots when I focused back on Dean.
He smiled, "It's okay, you don't have to say it back."
"Say what back?"
His brows moved closer, "That you like me too?"
"Oh. Well, of course, I like you."
He smiled and looked down, "Hm, not in the same way." He rose and his eyes bore into mine, "But just know that I would not be acting when I'm near you. I'll show you how I feel because that's how I genuinely feel."
"And I expect no less. If we want this plan to work, we have to work with complete honesty. Are you comfortable with that?"
"Always."
"Good. Then let's get this started."