Negan was a whole daddy, he was double my age, but I had a thing for an older man, that man got me going in a way I couldn't begin to explain. I shouldn't even have a crush on him, but he was one of the most gorgeous men I'd ever laid eyes on. It was wrong, I knew it was but seeing how much control and power he had made me hot for him, but of course, I didn't stand a chance against his other 'wives'. They were all slim, tall and beautiful. I wasn't like that, I was short, curvy and I hated wearing dresses, I had a more bad ass approach to things, I wasn't a girly girl. I wanted to fight, draw some blood and get my knuckles dirty. I'd always been that way. I look outside, watching everyone working, as per usual, I wanted to work my ass and actually do some Labour, but since I was a 'wife', I couldn't. I had to act like a lady and say please and thank you like a bitch. I sighed, as I ran a hand over my hair, I lean against the wall, "Bored, already?" Sherry smirked, I roll my eyes. She had always got on my nerves. "Are you going to bother me all day?" I fake smile at her, as I heard a banging on the door. All of the girls stood up, as Negan walked inside, smirking. "Ladies." He chuckled, as Sherry backed down, she went and stood with the other girls, as I just look back outside the window, "Oh, I'm sorry.. does my presence bother you, darlin'?" Was he talking to me? I turn around, he was looking at me. "Do you want my honest answer?" I was too cocky sometimes.
"Oh, we have a clown in the classroom.. how exciting." He smirked, as he leaned back, like he was amused. "You asked for my opinion, I gave it. And you are pretty intimidating.. but to be honest, it isn't bothering me." I shrugged, as the other women stayed silent. No one ever spoke back, until now. "Remind me of your name again." God, he was so fucking fine, it was driving me up the wall. "Y/n." I stuck out so much to these girls, "Interesting." He turned, before he left us alone, I take a deep breath, I needed some air, I lit up a cigarette and I drag it, as I look around, the sun on my face. "Caught in the act." That damn man, he was everywhere. I turn and look at him, "Your Majesty." I rolled my eyes, as he approached me. "You're a feisty little bitch, aren't ya?" He chuckled, "Probably." I take another drag, before exhaling. "I like ya, girl. You got guts." I felt him stood behind me, as a couple of his guys were checking me out, when he put his arm around me, almost protectively. "Do we have a problem, gentlemen?" He snapped, they look away, before walking away, embarrassed. Negan did make me feel safe, I knew I had his protection while I was in here, but outside these walls, I had no clue where I stood. I'd never been in love before, this was all new to me. This life. "Can I have a bit?" I look up at him, "Sure." I gave him the other half of my cigarette, as he dragged it, watching him smoke was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. "Damn, this shit makes me miss smoking." He smiled, as I just smile, in awe.
"You ain't gotta worry about a thing, darlin'. I gotcha." He finished it up, before he put it out and he walked away from me, I watch him walk away, how did he look so good all the time? "God damn it. Don't fall in love, y/n." I told myself, as I turn and I went back inside, knowing I was already catching feelings and I couldn't change a thing. I went and sat in my bedroom, I curl up on the bed as I watch him from my window, he was talking to some of his men, he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but also the worst. I didn't know what to do anymore. "Son of a bitch." I groaned, as I went back outside, I was so distracted, I couldn't think. It was driving me insane, I just needed to be busy. I went to the back of the sanctuary, one of his guys approached me. "What the fuck are you doin'?" He snapped at me, that was rude. "I'm just practising fighting." I shrugged, it wasn't a big deal. "Get outta here, kid." He pushed me, as I glared. "Who the fuck are you pushing, big guy?" I shove him back, this was going to end badly. "Don't touch me, bitch!" He slapped me, so hard that it knocked me back, making my cheek bleed. "Oh, you wanna fuckin' fight? Bring it on." I went to grab onto him, he had a knife in his hand, as he went for me, I jump back, as I knock the knife from his hand, I get him to the ground, pinning his arms down. "Fuck you, bitch." He spat at me, as I laughed. "So pleasant." I roll my eyes, as he managed to get me underneath him, there was a knife pressed to my throat.
Shit. I was really pushing my luck. "Hey!" Negan's voice was like music to my fucking ears. The guy suddenly got off me, as I pull myself to my feet. "What in god's fucking name are you doing?" He turned to the man, not me. "She was-" he cuts him off, "To me, it looks like you were trying to cut her throat. Am I wrong?" He had a large hunting knife in his hand, I glance back at him. "No, sir- no-" I take a deep breath, "It was my fault, Negan." I look back at Negan, as he frowned. "You don't need to defend this piece of shit to me, y/n. He tried to hurt one of my wives. And that shit don't slide with me." He slit the man's throat clean, as he fell to the ground, bleeding all over himself, choking out. I just stare at him, as he drowned in his own blood. "Come on." He took my arm, as I look up at his eyes. "I need to tell you the truth, Negan." He seemed surprised, "And what's that?" I take a breath. "I- Fuck. Forget it." I head off, as it left me wondering.. what if?
-5 years on-
"Fuck!" I pull the door shut of this container, as the walkers crowded around, I get back against the wall, as I was now trapped, I had no way of getting out of here, I had to wait it out. I hadn't seen Negan for years now, after I had ran away, I had changed, Rick and Daryl had been there for me, they were family and I found myself, in a way I couldn't have if I was alone. A low whistling caught me off guard, as I look into the darkness, seeing the face of Negan come out of the shadows. "Holy- shit." I whisper, as he realised it was me. "Y/n?" I stood up, as I take a breath. "You're alive." We both said together, I had to pull myself together, as he sat down on the ground. "Shit, doll. You haven't aged a day." He chuckled, I roll my eyes as I sat down, hearing the walkers claw at the walls. "I suppose not." I wanted to hug him, to tell him I was sorry, but I couldn't even do that. We were both different people now. I'd never forget the way he protected me, he had always been good, even if I wasn't myself.
What the hell would I do?
(Part 2? Does she find her ground with Negan?)