Tap tap tap tap.
I wake up momentarily confused by my surroundings. Sitting up in bed and squinting through bleary eyes, I glance out the window. It's raining loud and hard, drops hitting the pane like bullets.
"Keeks is awake." I hear someone say. I look around my room for the source of the voice. James.
James, Sirius, Elliot and Benjamin are sitting in a circle on the floor playing cards. Sirius scrambles up onto the bed with me and immediately has me wrapped in his arms. His nose brushes along my jaw as he turns to nuzzle into the crook of my neck. I feel him smile.
"Sirius was watching you sleep!" Benji calls up to me, smugly setting a card down.
Sirius whips his head in his direction. "I was most certainly not! You are such a wanker, Benji!" He gasps, snagging a pillow from behind my back and hurling it at the younger boy. Benji laughs, unbothered, as he's knocked over by the force of Sirius' throw.
Sirius looks back at me now; his eyes round and grey and flustered.
"Paddy, you are too cute." I laugh. "You've seen me naked, do you honestly think I mind that you watched me sleep? I watch you sometimes."
He visibly brightens. "Yeah?"
Even though the other boys are playing cards and immersed in their own conversations, I feel the need to whisper. "In the winter, your skin is flawless. You don't have even a single blemish. But in the summertime, the sun gives you freckles. They're faint but still there, like little kisses. Beautiful sun kisses." I graze my thumb over his nose and the apple of his cheek. "I try to count them when I can't sleep."
He's blushing a shade of red darker now and he's looking at me, staring with such intensity. Our faces are slowly inching closer, the air between us growing hotter.
The moment is ruined, yet again, by Mum appearing in the doorway. Sirius and I jump apart. "Chiara, there's someone here to see you."
"Really? Who's here?"
Mum shrugs and turns to leave before adding, "He didn't want to come inside so try not to keep him waiting, alright?"
James peers up at me from the floor. "Did you invite Moony or Wormtail?"
"No..." I frown, mistrusting my own memory. "At least I don't think I did. Anyway, Mum would have said if it was one of them." I plant a chaste kiss to the top of Sirius' head and slip out the door without another word.
When I open the front door, the first thing I see are two icy blue eyes. "Regulus?" I say, unable to conceal the tone of surprise in my voice. Regulus is standing on my front step, sopping wet and shivering in the humid rain. I gently shut the door behind me and lean against it, hugging my arms around myself. He looks so much like Sirius, it's disorienting. "What are you doing here?"
"I-I-" His voice is shaky with emotion. His Adam's apple moves up and down his throat as he swallows nervously. "I found your address in Sirius' bedroom. Uh, his old bedroom."
I slowly nod my head. "He's here...Sirius is." I'm thinking maybe he wants to talk to Sirius and assumed he'd be where I am.
I'm now noticing just how unhealthily pale his skin looks. And he looks afraid and small, so small even though he's over a foot taller than I am. "I don't know what I'm doing here."
His eyes fill with tears and they fall fast down his face. I take a step toward him and am immediately drenched in rain, too. We're so close I can see the water dripping down his lips, the tip of his nose, and the drops that gather on his eyelashes. I put my arms around his torso and pull him close. Hesitantly, he puts his trembling hands on my back and eases into my arms. I say nothing as he drains his sobs into my shoulder. I don't know what to say to soothe him since I don't know what's wrong. So I simply do what I know how, I hold him. I rub his back and let him cry until he runs out of tears.
I only pull away when he does, and it takes a while but I don't mind. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Regulus sniffles, shakes his head. "I apologize. It was rude of me to drop by unannounced."
"Please, don't do that." He tenses when I grab his hand. "If you ever need anything, I'm here."
He smiles a little now. "You know, I once read somewhere that there can be more power in a good hug than in a thousand meaningful words. Would you believe that until today I thought that was a load of tosh?" He holds my gaze. His eyes are so blue it's mesmerizing. "How is he?"
I blink. Sirius. He means Sirius. "He's doing good." That seems to be enough of a response for him. "Are, um, you okay?" It's a stupid question, he isn't. I can see it in his eyes. He's drowning in something and it's tearing him apart.
"Your capacity for kindness is boundless, thank you for that." He gives my hand a squeeze and then drops it.
My lips part with unspoken words as he spins around and rushes away. I watch him go, silently wishing I could help more. My mind wanders back to Sirius. Regulus has always been a sore subject for him, I wonder how he's going to react to him showing up here.
A bolt of lightning strikes nearby, snapping me out of my reverie. I go inside and up the stairs back to my room to find only Sirius waiting there for me. "Where did everyone go?"
His eyes find me and his face splits into a wide grin. "Oh, they were hungry. They're bringing us takeaway." He looks me up and down and frowns. "You're all wet. Were you standing out in the rain?"
"Yeah, I guess I was." I brush my fingers through my damp hair.
Sirius jumps from my bed to the closet and I watch in amusement as he concentrates on picking out a towel. He then walks over to me and wraps it tight around my body, holding me close and rubbing his hands over my arms as if to keep me warm. I don't bother telling him it was humid out, I like him being protective.
He tips his head down to feather kisses on my exposed collarbone. I shut my eyes for a second, silently inhaling and exhaling his scent. Feeling his lips. "Who was at the door, my love?"
I open my eyes again. He's making it hard to think clearly with his mouth on me. I take a steadying breath, I love Sirius but he's got an ill temper that I find disagreeable. "It was Regulus."
He isn't kissing me, or even looking at me anymore. At first he looks confused, I can see the questions forming in his eyes. It's when his face drains of emotion entirely that I can't seem to decide if this reaction is better or worse than the last time. At least when he yelled I knew what he was feeling. "Sirius? Please tell me what you're thinking."
His shoulders relax at the sound of my voice and our eyes meet. "I'm thinking I don't understand what he was doing here. How did he know where you live?"
"He said he found my address in your old room." I say. "Um, he was crying so I hugged him."
"Why was he crying?" He looks so sad for his brother, it breaks my heart because I know he still cares for him.
"He wouldn't tell me. But...Sirius, I know this might be a stretch but he was wearing long sleeves. It's boiling hot outside."
He clenches his jaw, emotionless again. "He's probably a Death Eater."
Tears blur my vision. I shake my head. "There could be a chance he isn't."
"Our mother always planned for us to be." He cringes as if a painful memory crosses his mind. "Did, uh, did he say anything else?"
"He asked me how you were." I mutter. He can't meet my eyes anymore. "Sirius, are you okay?"
"He's just a kid." He's crying. His eyes look lighter, he looks younger. He looks so beautiful when he cries. "I don't actually hate him, you know, he will always be my little brother. So badly I wanted to save him from this life. The night I left..." He breathes in a heavy breath. "I begged him to come with me. I told him we could get out before it all went to shit – worse shit." He laughs bitterly. "It's too late."
"Is it? He didn't seem...he seems scared."
"Yeah well, he could have avoided all of this if he'd just come with me like I told him to." He spits.
"We can still help him."
He shakes his head, smiling sadly at me. "It's too late. No one stops being a Death Eater, angel."
But I don't accept that. As arrogant as this sounds, I get what I want. And I want to help Regulus Black. I see the good in him and I can't imagine why I'm the only one who does. He's my boyfriend's brother. I believe that is all the ammunition I need to pursue this.
For now, though, I say nothing and let Sirius think his word is final.
*
The first last day of Hogwarts for us seventh years is in full swing. Kings Cross is less crowded this year for some reason and something feels different, something about the air. But I feel like I'm walking on sunshine.
Mum and Dad couldn't be here to see me off today, they both had to work. So we're here with Euphemia and Monty.
"I still can't believe you made Head Boy, Prongs." Sirius snorts.
"Right?" I add, laughing. "Dumbledore's officially gone mad for that one."
James isn't listening to our taunts though, he's too busy searching the platform for his precious Lily-Flower. There's no doubt in my mind she made Head Girl. At least for the sake of James' heart, I hope she did. James boards the train first, forgetting to say goodbye to his parents altogether.
"That boy is so lovestruck." Euphemia says, watching her son's retreating figure with such fondness. "Why won't Lily date him, dear?"
I go up on my tiptoes and kiss her on the cheek. "Don't worry, Mia. She will."
I walk up to Fleamont and pull him in for a hug. I smile, he and Mia feel like my parents. Sometimes even more than my own. "Have a good year, kiddos." Fleamont tells me, Sirius, Benji and Elliot. "Be bad but not too bad, alright?"
"You've got it, Monty." I giggle.
I struggle to drag my heavy trunk behind me as I make my way to the train. Sirius comes up behind me and takes the handle from my hand. I look up at him and he grins. "I've got it, love."
I blush down at my shoes. "Thanks, Paddy."
Benji gets on, Sirius following close behind him taking both of our trunks with him. When Elliot tries to step up, I grab ahold of his shirt and tug him back. He stumbles and then straightens, facing me with a scowl. "What was that for?!"
"Remember when I told you I had a plan for our first day back?" I wiggle my eyebrows.
"Oh, no! It includes me?" He groans.
I nod. I've got what James would call my 'scary face' on. Nobody knows what I have planned, not even Sirius. I'm sure the boys are going to be worried when I don't show but I can't back down now, I'm too excited.
*
"Should I be following you so blindly?" Elliot asks me as we ride our brooms after the train. I can hear the uncertainty in his voice.
"Probably not, but here you are." I giggle at his frightened expression. "Trust me, El, it's going to be brilliant! Just you wait."
Elliot runs a hand through his hair. "Nothing against you, cuz, but I'm curious." His brown eyes are narrowed in confusion. "Why do you always have to make such a big spectacle of yourself? Wouldn't it be easier to just, I don't know, not?"
"Where's the fun in that?"
He playfully rolls his eyes. "Life isn't all about fun you know."
I scoff, purposely doing a loop-de-loop in front of him. "Of course it is!" I say. And then I think some more in silence. "If I don't make myself known, I'd be forgotten. When I'm gone I want people to remember me for exactly what I've been doing. Living."
When we finally make it to Hogwarts, Elliot is nervous. He isn't used to all the attention being on him, but I promise him it'll all be worth it afterwards. He's always down for anything, even if it scares him, so I knew he'd agree to my plan.
I grip my broomstick with my right hand and steady my wand in the other. I'm ready. "Three...two...one!" I throw the doors open and fly inside, Elliot close behind me. Everyone's heads whips up in our direction. All I hear are murmurs of my name and questions of who is with me and what's happening. I wave my wand and an explosion of pink petals rains down, disappearing upon contact with anything solid and leaving behind bouquets of fresh, happy sunflowers in the hands of every single person in the Great Hall. Everyone is quiet for a moment too long before the place bursts into applause and cheers. They're all smiling at us, even the professors. Even Minnie.
I land in the centre of the room while Elliot lands in the front. I stand there, happily soaking up the attention. It feels good to be back.
I blow the room two kisses, take a dramatic bow and drop down at the empty place beside Lily. She throws herself around me in an instant, hugging me so tightly it hurts. But it's a pain I welcome. I've missed her and her tight hugs. With Lily still holding me against her, Marlene grins at me and asks, "What made you think to do all this? Not that I'm complaining, you made me feel special."
I smile sheepishly. "I was inspired by a terrible thought I had. Some people go their entire lives without ever being given flowers." I pause. "Until their funeral."
They aren't smiling anymore. Now that I've successfully ruined their moods, I direct my full attention to Elliot's sorting.
The hat knows exactly where Elliot Hughes belongs before it even touches his head, "HUFFLEPUFF!"
Looks like Sirius and Everliah win the bet.
I stand up on the bench and cheer loudly and proudly for him. People don't look at me strange for it, they're happy I'm making things interesting and applauding my cousin welcomingly. Lily giggles and tugs on my skirt to get me to sit back down beside her.
"Your attention?" Dumbledore calls from where he stands at the front of the room. The chatter quickly dies down and all eyes are returned to our headmaster. "Well," he chuckles lightly. "Excellent choice of flowers, Ms Holland. I must admit that sunflowers are also my favourites." He winks at me. "Our new girl doesn't have nearly as dramatic of an entrance, but please everyone give a warm welcome to Ms Taylor for her sorting."
We all start clapping again and all eyes are directed to the tall girl now making her way toward the stool. I don't know how long it takes for her to be sorted because I'm too busy admiring my own bouquet of flowers. It could be minutes or a couple seconds, I really couldn't tell you.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
The hat is pulled from her head and she rushes to join our table.
She sits herself down in the space between me and Lily, across from Alice and in front of Marlene and Dorcas. Her hair is straight and blonde. Eyes so blue they're practically clear and lips almost artificially red. She holds herself with so much dignity. In fact her entire demeanour is meticulous, every perfect hair is in its place. "Hey, I'm Lila Taylor." And she's American.
Marlene and Alice offer Lila polite greetings while Dorcas just smiles sweetly. Lily welcomes her kindly with a handshake. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm Lily Evans, Head Girl. I could help you find your way around school if you'd like, it can get confusing."
"Thank you!" Lila smiles with all of her perfectly straight teeth showing.
"Chiara Holland, Head of Mischief." I say next, shaking her hand.
She doesn't laugh at my joke. She looks me up and down, makes a face and turns away. Is there something on my face? "There are so many hotties at this school!" Lila squeals. She looks around the room with interest until her eyes abruptly land somewhere. "Okay, I'm already in love."
We fail to follow her line of vision. "With who?" Lily asks her curiously.
"Okay, but dibs." She points her finger. "The boy with the long-ish hair over there."
My smile drops. "That's my boyfriend."
She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and settles her eyes on Sirius. I really hate the way she's looking at him, like she's starving and he's food. She takes a long sip of her drink and shrugs, the perfect image of nonchalance. "You won't be together forever. I've got my eye on him."
I frown deeply. Who the bloody hell does this girl think she is? Doesn't she know who she's talking to? I cross my arms over my chest, getting defensive over my relationship. "What does that mean?"
"Nothing!" She giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. "I'm kidding, lighten up!"
"Oh." I force a laugh for the sake of being nice but it doesn't feel like a joke. "Funny."
I look at the rest of the girls to find them already looking back at me. We all exchange a look that says 'we are so talking about this later.'
In all honesty, I'm upset by what Lila said to me. I want her and everyone else to know that Sirius is mine, forever. I wordlessly stand and make my way down the table toward him. I drop down in his lap, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck. He puts his hands on my thighs and smiles, proud to show me off. I lean into him and start peppering kissing all over his face.
He continues to grin. "What's gotten into you?"
"You know that new girl? Lila?" I try to disguise my jealousy. "She likes you."
It makes me feel good that he doesn't even give her a second glance. He's only looking at me. "You're jealous." He says it like it's the most interesting thing in the world.
I glare at him and remove my arms from around him, crossing them over my chest. "Can you blame me? Look at you!"
"Aww, you love me!" He laughs, hugging me.
"Yeah, yeah." I grumble. "Just love me back."
Sirius takes his index finger and touches it to my chest, tracing a heart right over my heart. He's staring so deeply into my eyes I wonder what he sees in there. I always wonder what other people see differently when they look at me. Perhaps there are details that can only be visible in person and not in the mirror.
The sound of cutlery clattering again plate distracts me from my thoughts. "Could you please not gaze disgustingly into each other's eyes? Some people are trying to eat around here!" James says, dramatic as always.
I giggle, sliding off Sirius' lap to sit between him and Remus. Remus! I haven't seen him since he asked me to clue James and Sirius in on him dating Evan. Remus is looking back at me, thanking me with his eyes. I guess the boys had a heart to heart on the train. I'm so glad, he seems happy. I nod my head and wink at him. He smiles and resumes eating.
Sirius puts an arm around my waist. He leans in until his mouth is right at my ear. "Meet me in the Room of Requirement after curfew tonight. I'm going to show you how much I love you."
I look at him, wide-eyed. My heart is beating wildly against my rib cage. "Okay."
*
I'm not wearing my uniform anymore. I'm dressed comfortably in a pair of boxers and a tank top. I've become so good at sneaking around Hogwarts that I make it to the entrance of the Room of Requirement unnoticed. All I have to do is think of Sirius and the door appears for me. When I open it, I audibly gasp. I was absolutely not expecting this.
The place is dimly lit with scented candles that remind me of Christmas. Rose petals are scattered across everything, including the massive white bed covering half the room. Then there's Sirius. He's looking at me, clutching a single red rose in his hand. I look him up and down, he's wearing grey sweatpants and nothing else. "Wow," I say, breathless.
He takes a step toward me, handing me the rose. I carefully take it from him, lifting the sweet smelling flower to my nose. "I know roses aren't your favourites, but I thought for today's occasion this was more appropriate." His eyes are the most beautiful shade of grey. In any light, they're perfect to me. I never thought I could love the colour grey so much. I'm happily drowning in it. "You're wearing my boxers."
I break away from the grey. His boxers are too big for my frail frame so they hang very low on my hips. I fidget with the soft material, pulling them up. "Is that fine? You left them at mine so I packed them with my things."
He moves even closer now. Something shifts in the air between us. His hands on me feel electric. His lips are a hair's breadth away from mine. He's barely touching me and I'm already desperate for him. We haven't had the opportunity to be intimate all summer. I miss the weight of his body on top of me, the taste of his skin, his warmth, and the things he says to me only when we're alone. I miss the feeling of closeness, like being one with him.
He reaches down, knuckles trailing over my abdomen. "I want them off."
My vision goes white and my legs almost give out from under me. All thoughts beyond him are thrown out the window. Sirius Sirius Sirius. "Sirius."
He kisses me and I lose myself in his mouth. He tastes minty and hot. His hands feel heavenly; they're everywhere, misbehaving, exploring all of me. "I love you." He says, moving onto kissing my neck.
His voice is addicting, I could listen to him talk forever. I smile, tilting my head to the side to give him better access. "I'll never get tired of hearing you say that."
He draws back just enough to look me in the eyes. "I love you, so much." Those just might be my favourite words in the entire English language.
In one swift movement, he takes my shirt and boxers off, letting them both drop to the floor. My stomach flutters as he goes down on his knees. He touches his lips to my stomach, never breaking eye contact with me even as he kisses lower, lower, lower. I struggle to keep my eyes open just to see him and try not to sway but the feeling is overwhelming. "Sirius, please." My hand has a mind of its own, slipping up behind his head and tugging back on his hair. He moans against my sensitive skin, sending wonderful vibrations through my whole body.
"Lie back on the bed for me, love." He says it like a demand. I do as I'm told. He's suddenly on top of me, his mouth on mine all over again. My lips part under his and he makes a desperate sound in the back of his throat. He bucks his hips and grinds down on me. I wrap my legs around his torso, pulling him even closer because nothing is enough. I want more. I can feel him and how badly he wants me so I reach for the waistband of his sweatpants. But he pushes my hands away quickly. "Not yet. I want this to last."
I swear my heart has gone into overdrive. I'm not even sure I'm alive right now.
He kisses me, everywhere. Touches me, everywhere. I absorb him, he's all over me. All of him is mine and all of me is his.
He holds me afterwards and I think this is my favourite part. When we're blissed out and cuddling, comfortable and happy. We're under the covers, the front of his naked body is flush against the back of mine and his arms are curved loosely around my waist. He presses his mouth to my shoulder and I turn around in his arms. His hair is tousled, cheeks red, lips full and swollen from my kisses. I smile at him. "Are you tired?"
"Yeah. You wore me out, darling." His voice is a smooth, sultry whisper. It sends a shiver up my spine. "Are you?"
"Not really. I feel like I could conquer the world right now."
I become fascinated by the way his Adam's apple moves in his throat as he laughs at what I said. "I made you feel that good, did I?"
I playfully roll my eyes. "Nope, you were awful."
He laughs, throwing his head back against the pillow. "Yeah, all of your moaning and screaming my name really prove that right."
Sirius sheds the blanket off his lower half and slides out of bed. I whine at the loss of him and he only flashes me a grin in reply. "Where are you going?" He's getting redressed for some stupid reason. "Take your clothes off and come back into bed with me."
He's slipping his sweatpants back on when he says, "I'm going to get you food. I heard your stomach growl."
"I hoped you didn't hear that." I blush, sinking into the mattress.
He jumps back onto the bed and crawls over me, nudging our noses together. "I won't be long. Stay awake for me, okay?" I nod my head, biting my lip to keep from smiling too much. He leans in and takes my bottom lip into his mouth. He takes his time kissing it. "Don't bite your smile. I love to see it." He says. I smile a too-big smile. "Perfect."
A/N: Keeks finally got her dramatic entrance (chapter one) We've come full circle!
I LOVE AND MISSED YOU BESTIES!!! SEE YOU SOON