Nandini looked at her and wondered where to start. Should she start from the very beginning of her life or from Manik's entry. Should she leave any thing out or give out all the details.
"Stop overthinking this. I just wanna know what's going on. Why do you seem so worried lately.",Navya asked putting her hand above hers and Nandini sighed.
" There's something you don't know about me and Manik's first meeting. I didn't want you to worry about it so I never told you.",Nandini started knowing she deserved the full story and Navya smiled.
" I know about the misunderstanding. Cabir told me.",Navya assured her and Nandini looked at her surprised.
"Cabir knew?",She asked confused because as far as she knew he didn't.
"Mukti made Manik confess to Cabir about it. He felt quite guilty and shared it with me. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have you. I know you have my back always and I want to have yours. ",Navya said happy to have her in her life and Nandini smiled nodding as she pulled the blanket over her legs.
" So that was kind of our first meeting but following that we kind of connected well. We started talking and I mean really talking. We were honest to each other about the question asked. It was simple questions at first but then it got deep and soon we were sharing our past and worries with each other. It felt nice talking to him. I went shopping with him. He bought me a gift. We became good friends. I was happy with our friendship and bond.",Nandini said as she recalled all those moments with a smile on her face.
" So What's the problem?",Navya asked confused.
"Something happened we had an argument and I realised I shouldn't be as hurt as I am. It didn't make any sense and I realised maybe I have a crush on him. It scared me. You know how it goes after that. I put distance between us. Didn't talk to him or see him for more than a week and when I saw him again I realised it didn't work and it wasn't just a crush like other times. We kind of sorted it out and had very less conversation after that. But one night changed it all. We went out for an ice cream and a drive later. There was something different. I can't explain it but that was when I decided to stop running away. Maybe give it a chance. It was the night you came back home after a fight with Cabir.",Nandini said her feelings recalling each incident that made her fall for him harder and Navya nodded with a smile watching her happy.
" We fell in a routine of him picking me up, having coffee and dropping me to office. It was the time when the rumour started and we didn't meet each other for 2 weeks. That was kind of hard. I missed him. He called one night for dinner and we went out. To be honest it was the best time I had. That night I talked to him about my parents. It's so easy to talk to him about anything. I decided to give myself a chance. I knew he wouldn't want it but still I decided I won't run away anymore from my feelings because I couldn't even if I wanted to. I already came quite far.",Nandini said with a lost expression and Navya held her hands.
" It's nice you are giving yourself a chance. You both deserve this. I know Manik is a great guy. Why are you so worried? Is it because you think he doesn't feel the same?",Navya asked her seeing how insecure and sad she looked suddenly.
" Yes and also because I don't want to hurt him. I know that he has finally started trusting other people. I don't want to spoil our friendship. I am a mess and I don't want him to get involved and deal with my insecurities and fears. Also, I can't understand him. There are times when I feel maybe he feels the same way. He teases me, flirts with me but then he is nice to others too the same way he is to me and I wonder if I am just overthinking this and he is just being friendly and nice to me. I don't want to hurt him or myself. I have decided I won't act on it till he is ready but it's hard when he flirts or jokes with me one minute and the next he gets friendly with someone else. I don't know what to do anymore. He probably doesn't have any interest in me. He always tries to set me up with Ishaan.",Nandini said sighing as she looked down and felt relieved to let it all out.
Navya looked at her and pulled her in a hug.
"I didn't know you had so much going on in your head. I am sorry for not being there sooner. It will be fine soon.",Navya said hugging her close.
" I hope so. I don't think I can manage anymore.", Nandini said embracing her and Navya caressed her head.
" I don't know about his feelings for sure but I know he treats you different than others. You are special for him.",Navya said trying to assure her and Nandini sighed not wanting to get her hopes high.
" You know I am a little excited. I have wanted you to like someone for so long and now knowing it's Manik, makes me more happy.",Navya said excited with a big grin and Nandini gave her a small smile blushing.
"I can't wait for Mukti to know about it. We both were secretly shipping for you guys.",Navya let out a secret and she smiled.
" What about Ishaan? Does he know?",Navya asked her suddenly recalling it.
"We both have been friends always. He knows that pretty well too but I always felt guilty because I knew even if we are friends he was interested in me so when I realised about my feelings and was sure of them I wanted to tell him first. It didn't feel fair to him. I tried to talk with him today and being a coward I backed out from confessing. He has a lot going on and seems down lately. I don't want to add more to it. Maybe I will tell him when he gets better or after the trip. ",Nandini said and Navya nodded.
" You will figure it out. Now tell me when did your heart flutter for the first time for him?",Navya asked getting excited to know the complete story and Nandini looked at her blushing and they started talking.
They talked for a while before laying down seeing it was past midnight.
Nandini had a smile on her face. She was less burdened now after sharing with someone and having a second opinion.
She got a notification and picked her phone from side.
Vihaan Arora sent you a friend request
She reread the notification before clearing it and switching her phone off.
She shut her eyes forcefully and tried to sleep not trying to think about it.
"It's someone else. Many people have the same name. Stop thinking about it.",She repeated to herself and tried to sleep recalling happy moments but all she could think about was past.
Soon she felt sleep taking over her.
Navya was sleeping when she felt Nandini shifting a lot in bed.
She woke up and looked at the time. They have slept for an hour only. It was 2 at night.
"Are you still awake? Can't sleep?",Navya said as she turned to look at her sitting a little to see her properly.
"Nandu?",Navya said as she looked at her and tensed seeing her shaking and sweating.
She switched on the lamps and went to her side trying to wake her up.
"Nandu wake up. Wake up. Please.",Navya asked shaking her as she saw her crying in sleep.
"It's fine. It's a bad dream. Wake up. I am here.",Navya said as she herself panicked.
It was after so long she had witnessed her getting a nightmare. They were kind of regular back in college but over the years she grew better. Now watching her again broke her.
Navya shook her again hard and Nandini opened her eyes gasping for air.
"Nandu.",Navya sighed taking her in a hug as tears rolled down her eyes seeing her best friend lost and in pain.
"Are you okay?", Navya asked pulling back and she nodded lightly still in daze.
"I am here with you. Nothing's wrong. You are fine.",Navya said as she tried to calm her down.
Nandini pulled away and Navya looked at her worried.
"What's wrong?",She asked her and found Nandini lost in thoughts.
" I want to be alone.",She murmured slowly her throat dry.
Navya looked at her surprised. It was the first time she was asking to be alone. Every other time she had a nightmare she would hold Navya for all night and would not let her go out of her sight.
" I don't think you should be alone. I am here baby talk to me.",Navya said her worried cupping her face.
" Please.",Nandini requested as she kept her leg down and stumbled a bit.
"Nandu please listen to me. It was just a nightmare. Just think about happy memories. Let me be with you..",Navya tried convincing her not wanting her to leave.
" It's suffocating here. I will just sit on the beach. ",Nandini said and looked at her trying to put on a smile but failed.
Navya looked at her and gave up knowing it's better not to force her from experience.
She walked out of the room and Navya sat on the bed worried about her.
She looked out on the beach from the balcony but didn't find her. She waited for her thinking she stopped somewhere but after a while she realised she isn't coming and panicked.
She came down to look in the house and after not finding her she went up and knocked on the boys door.
Manik opened the door after a while and was surprised seeing Navya at the door.
"Navya you okay?",he asked seeing her panicked face as he opened the door wide.
Navya came in and looked at him.
"Manik, Nandu we..went...",She said shuttering and Manik kept his hands on her shoulder.
"Calm down it's okay. Tell me what's going on. Cabir.",Manik said trying to calm her down and called for cabir.
Cabir came out of the washroom and walked near them.
Navya hugged him immediately and he tried to calm her.
"What happened?",Cabir asked and Manik gave her a glass of water.
"Nandu went out to sit on the beach but I looked for her she isn't there and she isn't in the house too.",Navya said tensed and Cabir and Manik shared a look.
"It's fine. She will be back. I will give her a call. She is a responsible person. She will be nearby.",Cabir said hugging her.
Manik tried to call Nandini but it was switched off and he gave a worried look to Cabir.
She shakes her head in no as tears formed in her eyes.
"She had a nightmare and I was trying to calm her down but she said she want to be alone and she will be on the beach. I tried to stop her but she didn't listen. I looked at the beach and she is no where. I don't know where to look. I shouldn't have let her go alone. It's all my fault.",Navya explained them as she started crying.
Cabir was consoling her.
"We will go look for her. Okay. Don't worry. She will be fine.",Manik said and Navya nodded lightly.
They walked out of the house and looked around.
" Cabir stay with Navya and look in that direction. I will go there.",Manik said him and he nodded as they went opposite direction.
Manik looked around for her. It was quite dark with just the moonlight. He walked around searching for her and saw the flowers and walked closer thinking she would be here.
He sighed running his hand through his hairs and looked around clueless where to look for her.
His eyes falls on the light house.
"Can she be there?",he thought before walking towards it.
He looked around and didn't see her and went inside up the stairs.
He gets a call from Cabir and picked it up climbing the stairs.
"Did you find her?", Manik asked him a little worried now.
"She isn't here. I checked the party area and the beach. Where are you?",Cabir asked him still hugging Navya close to him.
" I am at the light house.",Manik said and breathed loudly as he reached the top.
He looked at the amazing view before sighing not finding Nandini.
He turned back to go when he heard soft voices and turned around and walked slowly.
"Found her.",Manik whispered on the phone and Cabir sighed and informed Navya.
" Manik.",Navya came over the phone.
" She is here. I will bring her back.",Manik assured her as he calmed down himself.
" Manik please don't force her for anything and be patient with her. She had a very bad nightmare.",Navya said concerned and Manik nodded.
" I will. Go and get some sleep. I will be here with her. Don't worry much.",Manik said her looking at the small figure of Nandini and she thanked him.
Manik hanged up and looked up at Nandini who was crying, her head hidden between her knees as she leaned against the wall.
Manik walked a little closer and sat beside her putting a little distance between them to give her the space she needed.
She felt a presence and stopped crying as she grew tensed immediately.
She looked up a little and found Manik staring at her.
She kept staring at him back and he gave her a small encouraging smile as he raised his hand forward and wiped her tears. She flinched from his touch before relaxing into it as her eyes starts watering again.
"Manik.",She whispered as she put her hand over his on her cheek as tears slowly falls from her eyes again. He gestured her to come closer caressing her cheeks and she crawled to him and wrapped her arms around his neck kneeling near his legs.
He wrapped his arms around her waist trying to make her comfortable as she cried in his shoulder.
He sighed and made her sit on his lap as he stretched his legs out. He realised for him his comfort came after her and wondered when did it happen.
She didn't let go of him and kept crying as he patted her and caressed her head.
"Sshhh. You have cried enough already.",Manik said as he started getting worried for her.
He tried to pull her hairs back and look at her but she tightened her hold on him and he sighed.
"Fine I won't do anything. Calm down.",Manik said patting her head.
She stopped crying after a while but still didn't let go of him.
"You want to talk about it? Was it a bad dream?",He asked her softly testing the situation.
She kept quiet and he sighed knowing she still needs time.
" Okay we won't talk about that.",Manik said and looked down at her.
She turned her face away feeling shy at his gaze.
"I have been meaning to ask this to you.",he started and she turned to his direction curious and he smiled at her eagerness.
" Where did you get the flowers?",he asked her and she raised her head a little to look up at him.
" Why did you throw them?",She whispered slowly and he looked at her trying to think of the reason.
"You had the tiara already. It felt stupid.",Manik said honestly a little embarassed for saying the reason out loud.
" I loved them. It was the first time you got me flowers and you didn't even give it to me too.",She replied annoyed a little and he smiled at her answer.
" I will get you flowers next time.",he said pushing a strand of her hair back and she looked at him.
"Get me Lily's. They are my favorite.",She replied and he nodded wiping her cheeks for the left over tears.
"You know I think you are rubbing off me in a wrong way.",Manik said suddenly and she looked at him confused.
"How?",she asked and he looked at her.
" I thought it was our thing you know talking and sharing secrets but seems like you talk to Ishaan too. He knows a lot about you things you didn't tell me. I feel like he is stealing you away just like you felt with us stealing Navya away. We hardly talked the whole day. It feels so long we had a talk like this. I was not like this before I never cared. You are spoiling me with your company.",Manik complained and she smiled hearing him being so blunt and honest with her.
" I am being serious. Throughout the day you were with him or the girls. Whenever we talked we argued. You even danced with that jerk. ",Manik said a little annoyed listing all his issues.
" So you are saying you were jealous of Ishaan, the girls and Shravan too.",Nandini asked raising an eyebrow hiding a smile.
"Yes.",he said proudly challenging her to tease him about it.
"You are cute.",She replied with a genuine smile and he was relieved to see her distracted finally.
" You slept off in the afternoon and then you were too busy talking with Monica and that jerk was not being a jerk and he apologized to me and was nice.",Nandini explained him trying to not be bitter about Monica and Manik gave her a soft glare.
" I was waiting for you to pull me out of the conversation but you never once glanced my way. You were busy dancing with the jerk.",Manik complained back with an annoyed look.
" You looked more than happy to know more about her german shepherd dog. You were not uncomfortable at all.",Nandini said making a face and he looked at her with a smile.
" I had a German Shepherd before Oscar. So I was interested to know more. ",Manik confessed and Nandini looked at him surprised.
" You had another dog?",She asked and he nodded.
"I had it from when I was thirteen. He was named Shadow.",Manik said recalling the distant memory and Nandini looked at him.
"He got sick and died when I was around 21.",Manik said trying not to think about it and Nandini nodded.
" Was he scary like Oscar?",Nandini asked interested and he smiled.
" Oscar is a cutie compared to Shadow.",Manik said teasing her and she pouts.
" You got Oscar at that time?",She asked him and he nodded amused at her playing with his button absent mindly.
" I wasn't planning to have a dog again. The pain of losing him was still fresh in mind. I had left home to live on my own and it was kinda lonely living alone. Cabir suggested living together but I liked having my own space. Shadow's vet doctor gave me Oscar. Somebody has left him outside his clinic. He called me up to see if I wanted to keep him and I couldn't say No. Wow it's been 7 years already.",he said recalling how he got Oscar and Nandini smiles staring at his face and the happiness radiating from it.
" Hearing you talk so passionately about dogs makes me like them but I am too scared and allergic.",Nandini joked and he smiled.
There was a comfortable silence as Nandini lay her head on his shoulder now.
"Do you know how worried we all got? Navya panicked and you weren't answering your phone and nowhere to found and then you were crying nonstop worrying me more. What happened? Navya said you had a nightmare? Did it scare you a lot? ",Manik asked her rubbing circles on her arm and she looked at him as her face pale recalling the events.
Nightmares were not a new thing to her. She was habituated to having them by now but it was years since she got such a bad one. There were always the same. She would dream about her past. Her relatives, Vihaan and sometimes Soniya. It was always about people leaving her not able to handle her burden. She knew she was insecure and couldn't trust easily because of her past. Today for the first time the nightmare was different. Instead of watching her relatives and Vihaan leaving. She saw her friends leaving her. Telling her it's difficult to be with her. She saw Ishaan giving up on her because she was too difficult and playing hard to get. She saw Navya leaving telling she is tired of her. Cabir left because he couldn't watch her hurt his friends and then she saw Manik leaving too. She was crying for them to come back when Suddenly they all disappeared and she saw Vihaan at the end standing and laughing at her. She looked up and saw faces of her relatives, lawyer and everyone who left her looking down at her laughing for being so pathetic. That was when Navya woke her up.
"You know it's not the nightmares that scare you. It's the empty feeling you feel inside after the nightmare is over that scares you. Honestly I don't even remember the dream properly. It doesn't make sense anymore but I remember the feeling and I dont want to feel it again.",Nandini said honestly her eyes watering again and he hold her close as he patted her head knowing fully well how it feels.
"What can I do to make that feeling go away?",Manik asked her softly wanting to do anything he can for her.
" You are doing more than enough by holding me close.",Nandini appreciated his efforts and he hugged her tighter in response.
" Should we go back?",Manik asked her after a while.
She looked up at him not wanting to yet.
" We can stay if you want to.",Manik added looking down with a smile and she thanked him.
" Honestly I am enjoying this. You in my arms hugging me sitting on my lap. It's not everyday something like this happens.",Manik said teasing her and she looked at him surprised and blushed realising she is sitting on his lap.
She shifted and sat beside him leaning on his shoulder still holding his hands.
"My legs feel numb.",Manik joked turning to her a little.
"Sorry.",She said blushing and he smiled enjoying it.
" I hope you know that you are the only girl to sit on my lap. You must feel special.",Manik teased and she blushed more.
He wrapped his hand around her and pulled her closer to him surprising her.
He was quiet for a while playing with her hair as she watched the night sky enjoying the moment.
"Did something happen to trigger the nightmare and shake you so badly?.",he asked looking at her and she looked away as she tried not to think about it.
"Let's go back. I am fine now.",She said with a smile trying to get away.
" You are running away from it. It won't do you any good. I am here with you. Cabir, Navya everyone is worried for you. Tell us what happened. We will figure something out.",Manik said as he didn't let her out of his grip.
" Manik, It's easy to advise when you are on the other side. You always run away and I let you. Please do this for me this one time. ",She said tired and he looked at her and realised she was right.
"I know its hard for you and I do the same all the time but it doesn't feel good watching you like this. I have always seen you in control of your feelings. It worries me more seeing you break down.",Manik confessed and she looked at him and gave a small smile at his concern.
" You think I enjoy watching you get angry and smoking your lungs out. Just like it's hard for you to share some things. There are things that are hard for me to share. If it was some other day I would have probably shared it with you but right now I don't think I can. Having a nightmare about it made it seem like a reality and now I don't want to experience and feel how real it is while explaining you the events. It's terrifying enough thinking maybe it's not a dream. Some parts of it are true and very much real and I have to face it in the coming days. I just want to run away from it for a while till I am strong enough to face it again. So let me fake it till I make it. Because that's what I have been doing my whole life faking and Pretending. ",She explained him as she broke down in the middle and he just listened to her trying to understand her and figure her out.
"Okay",Manik said and stood up.
She looked at him confused.
He forwarded his hand and she took it and stood up.
"Let's do it.",Manik said and she looked at him not understanding him.
He turned her around and made her see the sea reflecting the moonlight as he stood beside her.
"Let's pretend everything is fine. You are fine. I am fine. There's nothing wrong with our lives. We will keep running away till we are ready to face it and when we do, we are going to knock it down with a single punch.",He made a promise and she looked at him thankful.
" Okay let's do it. ",She whispered after a while with a smile and he smiled back as they watched the waters and entwined their hands slowly.
Manik watched their hands together and gave a half smile amazed.
Them holding hands together felt more intimate to him than when he pulled her down to sit on his lap and that confused him even more than he already was that night.
"It's quite late.",Nandini said as they got down from the lighthouse and he smiled.
"It is.",Manik whispered as they walked down back to the place.
"I am sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.",Nandini said knowing it was quite late and he smiled.
"It's fine.",Manik said and she nodded in no.
"No really. I mean I am grateful you were there but I am sorry about keeping you up till late. I know you will be up early. ",Nandini said worried and guilty and he smiled.
" It's fine. Don't stress out on it. I had people to help me out when I used to have nightmares long back. I am just returning the help I got. ",Manik said and she gave a small smile and nodded.
"Thank you. ",She said him and they walked silently to their rooms.
"Goodnight.",Manik said and she nodded.
"Are you okay now?",Manik asked looking at her still a little worried.
"If I am not. Will I get a hug?",She asked and he smiled rolling his eyes.
" Come here.",Manik said forwarding his hands and she came close immediately.
He wrapped his arms around her and she sighed in relief and he smiled.
"Better now?",he asked looking down at her pulling apart a little.
"No. Can I get one more?",She asked greedily and he smiled at her actions.
"I should really start putting price on my hugs. I will be rich.",Manik joked as he hugged her again knowing she needs it.
" You are rich enough and I don't think I can afford it anymore.",Nandini whispered and he gets confused hearing her.
" You know right. You can always ask for anything from me. I will be more than ready to help.",he said seriously and she gave a small smile and nodded.
He felt something change but couldn't understand what.
"Thank you for everything.",Nandini said with a smile before raising her toes and kissing his cheeks.
He turned to her surprised.
"Bye.",She said and walked inside her room without turning back.
"Why did it felt like a goodbye when it was a goodnight.",Manik thought as he touched his cheeks and looked at her closed door.
" She didn't turn around.",he said to himself before going to his own room.
His mind occupied with her but he dismissed it and tried to sleep.
Nandini sat by the balcony knowing she won't be able to sleep and thought about everything.
She picked her phone and switched it on.
"Congrats Vihaan, you did it again. You came back to remind me how much pathetic and a loser I am and why I don't deserve to be loved and taken care of. I hope you are happy now.",She said to herself as she sat there watching the sea and thinking about what to do next.