Chapter 15: Our Little Family
Greg immediately looks to me as if I hold all the answers -- in this case, as in most cases, I do.
"Tragedy, tragedy, tragedy, just a damn tragedy," I simply shake my head. "Horrific. It's just horrific. A travesty. A real travesty. Usually, those things are indestructible until they break – mostly all of them anyways."
"Do you ever make sense, babe?" Jay asks and cocks his head to the side to give me a knowing look.
"I just wonder...who would murder an innocent and revolting statue like this?" I ask aloud, silently directing my anger at Max – this is all his fault and he isn't even here to pay the price. He made me an accomplice in his crime and acts of violence by persuading me to help him bury the body after forcing me to accidentally kill the body.
"Who said she was murdered?" Boss Man arches an eyebrow at me, suspicious.
"Maybe she isn't dead," I reply with a shrug, choosing to be blindly optimistic. "Maybe she's at sea because she was kidnapped as bounty by Ethiopian pirates or something," I throw an idea at him, hoping to sidetrack him.
"And that's my cue to leave," Decoda says before making her way out of the front door without so much as a 'goodbye, you lovely people'.
"Do you own a trampoline?" Boss Man asks me, still skeptical of me. "Because you're jumping to a lot of your own conclusions here." He shakes his head at me. "Way to chase Decodes away. She doesn't handle 'insane' well."
I shrug, cavalier about everything he just said. "If it comforts you in any way, the police always say that there's a forty-eight-hour window before we can safely assume someone is dead."
"That doesn't comfort me in any way because I can bet that you, and whoever else you involved in this stupid scheme of yours, made her vanish within more than forty-eight hours ago," he accuses me despite basing his theory on no evidence whatsoever.
"Are you saying that we should call off the search for her and start a search for her body instead?" I cautiously ask him. "Are you thinking the worst, that we should assume that she's already...?" I ask in an over-the-top voice before gasping loudly and dramatically placing my hand over my mouth.
"There isn't any search party looking for her," Greg corrects me before I can get carried away again.
I frown and furrow my brows, in deep thought. "If you really love her, Boss Man, you'd have called in a search and rescue team by now." This is on him.
"I just found out that she's missing!" he angrily reminds me. "Otherwise--"
"Exactly my point," I talk over him.
"Otherwise, I would have!" he shouts over my voice.
"I'm gonna go and shower," Jay chips in before I can argue with Boss Man further. "Clearly, you two have both forgotten that we're talking about an inanimate object, and at this point in time, I've just really lost all interest in this conversation."
"Show some respect, the body isn't even cold yet!" I snap at him and then correct myself immediately. "I mean...if there's even a dead body! 'Cause like...we still don't even know yet! She could still be alive and well!" I yell after him but my shouts fall on deaf ears.
"It's a marble statue; the body is always cold!" Jay hollers back, attempting to make a point.
I shake my head and send Greg a pitied look. "Sorry about him, he can be so insensitive sometimes. How dare he assume that?!"
"This coming from a murderer," Boss Man scoffs at my nerve.
"Listen," I start, figuring my way out of this, "I have a conspiracy theory..." I trail off before deciding to out my friend like the true best friend that I am, "Max did it."
Yeah...knowing Greg, Mills is roadkill after this, but better he than I.
"Yeah?" Greg arches a brow at me, still deciding whether to believe me or not.
I nod. "Look, I'm never ever one to reveal my sources but..." I pretend to hesitate before throwing him directly under the bus, "Max did it. It was Max. Max totally did it. He brutally killed her, shattered her body into thousands of itsy-bitsy pieces. And he acted alone. He definitely acted alone...or maybe Grey helped him, not too sure on that one."
"Whatever he did to her is going to happen to him!" Greg threatens aloud, raging like a mad bull. He clenches his hands into his fists and rubs at his temple as if to calm himself down. "He'll be in a thousand pieces when I'm done with him."
I've never seen Boss Man lose his cool like this before. Clearly, this stupid statue means a lot to him. It might have been an 'oopsie' blaming the killing solely on Max. I could rectify my actions and take some of the blame but if there's one thing I've learned from life, it's that if your lies backfire on you, simply lie some more. Lie, lie, lie until you die!
I 'tsk' Boss Man and shake my head at him. "That's no way to behave in front of a lady," I scold him, unimpressed.
"Decoda left," he reminds me with cheek – so unlike him.
My jaw drops. "What are you insinuating here?" I question, already aware of the insult coming my way. "You better shape up and be nice again because I will not tolerate you getting all bent out of shape and punishing me with your unwelcomed meanness for something that Max did...all on his own."
Greg snaps out of it and sends me an apologetic look before stepping forward and giving me a bearhug. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me. I only get this angry around Troy."
My feet lift off of the ground as he squeezes me tight. "There, there, Boss Man," I pat his shoulder, feigning sympathy, "learn from this. Learn from how foolish you're acting. Remember that you're furious with Max and not me. Channel that inner fury and direct it his way."
He nods and puts me back down on the floor. "You're right. It's Max's fault."
"Exactly!" I applaud him. "Now, you're getting it." Now, you're allowing yourself to be brainwashed.
"I'm going to go and call him," Greg adds thoughtfully, still annoyed.
I nod profusely and start pushing him in the direction of his room. "Yes, you do that! Let him have it and don't hold back! Give it to him straight! Remember, he deserves this!"
"Wait, wait, wait," he starts and turns around to face me while walking backward, "why didn't you tell me sooner about this if you knew all along?"
"Now's not the time to get wrapped up in tiny details, Greg! Gosh!" I hiss at him and give him one forceful shove before he nods again and heads to his room to phone Max and confront him on the grisly murder.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
It's not even ten minutes later when my phone begins to ring. I see Max's name pop up and I immediately decline the call. My actions don't seem to deter him from calling me another fifty billion times to which I reply with fifty zillion more declines.
I see Bell's name pop up next and as if on instinct, I answer the call.
"Finally, I have your attention," I hear his voice before I see Max's face pop up in the video call; he looks super mad and somewhat afraid.
Shoot! He tricked me!
"Max!" I act surprised. "What a pleasure!"
"Let me start by saying this, you're the worst and I feel so betrayed," he takes me on a futile guilt-trip within the first five seconds of the call.
"Whatever do you mean, Maxipad?" I ask gently and place a hand over my heart. "Whatever could have happened to upset you this much?"
"You're unbelievably talented in playing dumb; you sure it's just an act?" he launches straight into attack-mode.
"I'm actually not sure anymore," I confess, honest.
"Because of you blaming everything on me, Boss Man has threatened to incinerate me," he goes on with a whining tangent. "His ogre side manifested out of nowhere. I had to use the whole 'my babies growing up without their beloved dad' to soften him. Kids aren't good-for-nothing after all."
"Are you seriously accusing me of accusing you?" I gasp in an overdramatic fashion, playing innocent. "Because, if so, then this is a delightful waste of time for you. Boss Man will obviously believe me over you. So, suck it!"
Max's left eye twitches in anger. He directs his cold, piercing stare my way. He uses his thumb and index finger and places them over my neck on his phone screen so that he can 'strangle' me.
"Hey! What are you doing to me, you witch?!" I feel the air leave my lungs and start choking – it may or may not have to do with the fact that I'm crazy. "Stop it, stop it, I can't breathe!" I shout, clawing at my throat, trying to get him to release his grasp on me.
"Never!" he shouts back, tightening his hold on my neck. "Beg me! But still...never! But beg me anyway!"
"You're going to kill me like you did her, aren't you?" I ask in a whimper, fearful for my life.
Just as I'm about to die, Max is shoved away from the screen. Bell's picture-perfect face appears in his place. She looks concerned and I have no doubt that she obviously heard my desperate cry for help.
"What's going on?" Bell asks me, worried. "Why is Max using my phone?"
Now that her dumb husband is gone, I can breathe again. "Nothing much, girl," I answer casually. "Your baby-daddy was just trying to murder me in broad daylight through phone strangulation. Been a pretty bleak night."
Bell arches a perfect brow at me, confused. "Phone strangulation? Yeah, Aqueels, I don't think that's a thing."
"Then your shaman husband has voodoo powers," I argue, giving her the facts. "Look into it! Do some research before you come here with your facts!"
"He's trying to rehatch things that don't need to be rehatched, am I right or am I beautiful or am I just both?" Troy buts in, smooshing his face against his sister's in order to fit into the screen's frame.
"You're none of those things," I answer truthfully to which he gasps loudly. "Why is there no 'neither' option?"
"Do you mean 'rehash', moron?" Bell questions her brother before violently pushing him away from the screen. "What does 'rehatch' even mean?" she continues the interrogation on him.
"Like a baby bird rehatching," Troy tries to explain himself. "Long-story-short, Max is acting like a baby bird. I can't believe that you don't even know the saying. Who's the moron now?" he bravely and stupidly picks a fight with her.
"You are!" she hisses and disappears from the screen, leaving me hanging.
It seems to escalate into a fight because I soon hear Troy screech in pain – what's new? Unfortunately, while they're busy killing one another, Max returns. However, fortunately, Melby is with him -- surely, he won't try any cruel spells on me in her presence...surely.
"I can't believe that my best friend in the entire universe just tried to kill me," I mutter, slightly offended by his actions.
"I heard that!" I hear Bell's voice from the background. "Not impressed!"
"Impressed!" I hear Troy too just before he yells in pain again.
Ah...the joy of siblings.
"No wonder you're taking this all out on me, Max. If I were living with them, I'd also be stressed out," I attempt to comfort him and weaken his resolve by shifting blame.
"I'm taking this all out on you because it's all your fault. Greg wants to burn me at the stake; you're not getting off this easy. I don't care how cute and adorable you are, if I'm being beheaded, like he said I am, then you're losing your head too because I'm petty like that," Max threatens me, not bothered by the fact that his daughter is hearing every word he's uttering – classic, classy Max.
"Why can't you just call him back and feign incompetence? It shouldn't be hard for you!" I protest, trying to help him out with a great solution. "Get the experts, Troy and Ramos, to help you," I suggest ever so wisely.
"No, I think I'm just going to have to do the inevitable and blame..." he pauses, waiting for me to join in.
"Grey," we both say simultaneously.
I nod. "Yeah, that might be the mature path to take in order to resolve this. Let him be accountable and take responsibility for our actions."
Max nods back at me in agreement. "Now, we're on the same page again."
I smile widely at him. "I love it when we're on the same page," I sigh in content.
"Don't get adorbs on me, this isn't over," he warns me.
"Yes, it is," I confirm with all authority and superiority.
"Okay, yes, it is," he gives in automatically, used to constantly giving into Bells.
"Hulla, Eela," Melby waves at me excitedly, bumbling incoherently.
"Hi, my baby love!" I greet her and blow her a kiss, having momentarily forgotten about her wonderful, little baby presence.
Melby squeals in joy and reaches out her stubby arms in an attempt to catch my kiss through the screen.
Sadly, Max catches my kiss before Melby can catch it. "Her kisses are worthless, Melbs, they'll just disappoint you, and Daddy speaks from experience," he says to her before ripping my kiss up into pieces and tossing my kiss down to the floor. He proceeds by stomping and jumping on my kiss and then moonwalking over it.
I roll my eyes at him while watching the childish and pitiful scene unravel before me. "You weren't joking about you being petty, were you?"
"Eela pwetty," Melby gurgles, looking up at her father with big, adoring eyes.
This baby has good taste...
Max's gaze strays back to me. He looks me over before glancing back down at his daughter. "Little bit," he answers her, showing her the small space between his thumb and index finger. "But more 'petty' than 'pwetty'," he feels the need to add, proving just how petty he really is. "Learn the difference, Sweet Pea."
I hide my smile. "I love you, Max," I tell him, meaning it.
He frowns, refusing to oblige me.
"Melby wuv Eela!" Melby coos at me before laughing at herself as if she just did something funny.
"I love you too, my cute, cute baby love!" I blow her countless kisses while Max tries to destroy them all. I send Max a look and he instinctively stops. "I love you, Maxy," I repeat firmly, expecting a response in return.
He pouts and looks away. Melby copies his actions, furrowing her little brows and pinching her lips up into a cheeky pout.
"Set the example, Max," I coax. "I think that we can both agree that the last thing we want is for your kid to turn out to be just like you."
He turns his head to glare at me. "You're so mean but...fine...I love you," he murmurs, just under his breath, in frustration.
"You do?!" I exclaim in an over-the-top manner, milking it. "What do you love most about me?" I prod, pushing my luck.
"When your mouth stops moving," he replies, failing to hide his conniving grin of evil.
"Why are you looking at my mouth?" I retort in wit. "I'm telling Bell that you're looking at my mouth!" I tease him. "Bell, if you can hear me, your husband is trying to put the moves on me! He's failing miserably but I still thought that you should know!"
"Goodbye, twerp," Max hangs up on me – at least, he thinks he has. What he doesn't know is that I can see him and Troy doing 'The Floss' together for their stupid, joint TikTok account while Rhys claps his baby hands and cheers them on. It's so badly timed and choreographed that they're accidentally hitting each other in the crotch with their fists. It's enough to make Blanche and Riosh cry. I also feel like crying after seeing that; it's child abuse...or just plain human abuse.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
When I eventually make it to the bedroom, I have to stop and smile at the sight of Jay passed out with Slobber snoring in his arms. Our little family is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Careful not to wake my boys, I sneak into the open space on the bed. Slobs still manages to hear me; he squirms out of his dad's arms and into mine instead. I'm really tempted to wake Jay up and gloat but decide against it.
Jay, in his sleep, realizes that Slobber's gone and nudges forward until he's right beside me. His own movement seems to wake him up. His eyes flutter open and when he sees me, a peaceful smile overcomes him. Without hesitation, he tugs me toward him and hugs me against his chest, getting comfortable. "Night, sweet klutz. I love you," he whispers into my ear before kissing my head.
If only Max could take a leaf out of Jay's book! It shouldn't be difficult to love me! Heck, I even love me!
"Same," I reply tiredly, snuggling up to him while picking up his heavy arm and forcing it to wrap around me tighter so that he can hold me even closer.
"You too, Slobs," he mumbles sleepily. "I love you too, buddy."
Slobs barks back in response, no doubt expressing his love for Jay in his own way. He doesn't even seem to care that he's squashed between us – in fact, I think this is his favorite spot.
"Me too. I love you too, Slobs," I follow in Jay's words.
Slobs says nothing to me in response – not even a lick, nothing!
"Mean dog," I mutter jokingly into the dark.
I feel a chuckle reverberate from Jay's chest as he laughs into my hair. "Don't worry, angel of mine, I have enough love to cover his side, all sides, all the time," he reassures me – his words making me melt inside.
Before I know it, I'm drifting off to sleep.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
I feel a light touch against the side of my face. "Good morning, Klutz," he greets me, clearly in a chipper mood.
I squeeze my eyes shut, refusing to move. "Doubt it."
"Up and at 'em," he says softly, deliberately stirring me awake. "Let's get moving, 'Queels."
Still feeling exhausted, I reluctantly open my eyes and meet his gaze of electric blue. "Why are you doing this to me? Why do you hate me?" I ask him with a yawn. I sit up and glance around the dark room. "What time is it even?"
"Four," he answers in ease as if he's not mad in the head.
I lie back down and cover myself with the blanket again. "Wake me up when it's lunchtime or when I'm dead."
The blanket is removed from my face against my will. "No way. You've been promising to go out on a run with me for years and today, I'm finally collecting on your promises and cashing in on some alone time with you," my fiancé insists, seemingly eager.
"Please don't make me," I beg, unable to function this early in the day.
"Please don't make me force you," he replies, determined.
I throw the blanket off of me and reluctantly roll out of bed. "Fine, let's go. Are you happy now?" I ask him with sass.
"You can't go out like that," he argues with me.
"Why not?" I protest, frustrated by my own exhaustion – how does he do it?!
"You can't go running in just pajamas. At least, put on some slippers too," he remarks teasingly, testing my patience.
"Ha, ha," I say while searching around the room for my sneakers.
"C'mon, c'mon, let's get your running shoes on already, gorgeous," he urges when I hesitate for a mere second.
He is the only reason why I even own running shoes!
"Carry on like this and I'm calling the wedding off," I chide, annoyed, while hastily ripping off my pajama top in front of him. I start searching through the closet for more 'appropriate' clothing that will suit the activity and hopefully satisfy him.
"So, this is how it's going to be, huh?" he asks me with a boyish grin on his stupid, handsome face. "You're just gonna strip in front of me whenever you get mad at me? 'Cause I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm all for it. Making a mental note of it right now. I think we could stand to argue more."
"Give me a break; I'm still half-asleep. Besides, you've seen me in a bikini before, a bra is not much different," I reply, uncaring at this point – as I've said, I don't do mornings.
"This is not how I was picturing you undressing in front of me for the first time," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood.
"Well, don't get used to it!" I snap at him and furiously start taking off my pajama shorts too while rummaging through all of my sporty clothes – I have so many yet I despise any physical activity, other than breathing, with a passion.
Jay's eyes widen in shock as his gaze slowly trails over me. He swallows absentmindedly and I notice the hint of a blush along his cheeks. Jay's never been a big blusher so it takes me by surprise. He eventually meets my curious gaze and instantly snaps out of his stupor.
"Sorry." He spins around, turning his back to me, recovering quickly. "I don't why I'm sorry because...what are you doing?" he asks, still stunned by my impulsiveness.
"Changing! What the heck does it look like?" I answer, beyond irritated.
With a defeated sigh, he throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. "You know what? Fine, Aqueela. If you don't want to go with me, it's fine. I just thought it could be fun, like a casual date or something. We never set time apart for us but it was dumb of me to wake you up this early and expect you to be in a good mood. I'm sorry."
The door slams open before I can reply:
"What's with all the racket?! I'm trying to sleep here!"
I jump five feet into the air, caught off guard by Greg's sudden appearance. "Why don't you knock?!" I complain and try to cover myself with my hands.
Boss Man, taking his sweet time, leans against the doorframe and looks over at me. He smirks at Jay, highly amused. "And you said that you don't get any benefits."
Jay tosses me one of my shirts and moves to stand in front of me, blocking me off from Greg's view. He narrows his eyes at Greg. "Do you mind? We're in the middle of something here."
Boss Man laughs humorlessly. "No, I can see that but do you mind?" he retorts, respectfully keeping his eyes off of me while I put on some clothes. "I get it. You're both young and in love but if you're going to be...busy...then please try to keep it down or make sure I'm not home or that I'm already five feet under or something."
I dress quickly and then whip my head around to glare at Boss Man. "We were not 'busy' as you put it. I was 'busy' sleeping when Jay woke me up for a run. I was angry undressing and not flirty undressing. Get it right!"
Jay says nothing more and pushes past Greg and me. I hear the front door close after him and I can't help but feel incredibly guilty. I've disappointed him; I know that.
"Damn it," I mutter under my breath and grab my running shoes, my mind already made up. "Do you see what you've done, Greg? I hope you can live with yourself after this," I tell him while quickly tying my shoes.
"Whatever, I'm pretty sure that I'll sleep just fine," he says before leaving the room and finally allowing me some privacy – not that I need it now!
I put my hair up in a very rushed ponytail before strapping Slobber into his harness. "Let's go, Mister," I chime, picking up our dog before leaving my house and running down the street after my husband-thing.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
"Slobber, you're going to have to pick up the pace if we're going to catch him," I say, glancing down at my lazy furball who is currently refusing to run beside me. If anything, he's doing a slow jog – so...walking.
I can't believe we've only been running for five minutes. I feel like I'm going to collapse and die. I'm already out of breath. Slobs definitely takes after his mumma.
Just how fast is Jay?!
"Don't you dare think about it, Slobber," I warn him at seeing him stop walking. I try to drag him along but he's fiercely resisting.
As if understanding me, Slobber gazes up at me with his cute puppy eyes – he's a master. He paws at my leg and whines, seeing right into my soul. I already know that he's not going to stop until he breaks me.
"No, don't even think about it," I reply, not enjoying this conversation. "I'm warning you, don't even think about it, young man-pup. Don't try using your magical pup charm on me; I'm still not immune."
He barks at me in return, unfazed.
"Don't talk back to your mother, Slobs," I say, shaking my head at him. "How many times do we have to have this talk?"
He licks my ankle before doing exactly what I've been anticipating – lying down on the sidewalk, acting dead. Teaching him the trick was the worst thing Jay could have ever done; he uses it to get out of everything.
"I can see you breathing!" I scold him. "Don't ever take up acting as a career. You'd fail miserably."
When Slobs doesn't move, I groan before lying down beside him, in the middle of the path. "There, there, I feel your pain, buddy. Did your legs also stop working?" I ask, staring up at the rising sun.
It's not long when I hear my name being called. Before I can respond, Jay is kneeling beside me, his hands everywhere -- he's basically feeling me up while checking me for injuries. "Aqueela! What happened?! Are you okay?! Is Slobber okay?!"
I lean up on my elbows and send him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, we tried going after you but Slobber is useless. He dozed off about ten minutes ago," I explain and gesture down to the sleeping pup letting out little snores.
"Don't do that to me; I thought something was seriously wrong," he replies, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Trust you to randomly lie on your back in the middle of the neighborhood."
"In my defense, I was influenced by a ball of pure cuteness," I laugh before getting down to business. "Anyway, look, I'm really sorry for being bratty earlier. You didn't deserve that but, in my defense, again, I was so tired that I barely remember what happened."
Jay sits down beside me and smiles in understanding. "Well, for starters, you gave Greg and me quite the show."
I cringe and sit up properly, stretching out my legs in front of me. "Sorry."
He shrugs, a grin on his face. "Hey, don't be sorry, I'm definitely not complaining, I sure didn't mind," he jokes, kidding around. "Feel free to do it again whenever you want."
I slap his arm. "Shut up."
He chuckles before getting serious with me. "Listen, I'm sorry too. I was running back to apologize to you. I guess I just needed to clear my head. I shouldn't have tried to force you to do something that you don't want to do. I was being selfish. Anyway, it's because I've been thinking and I really want us to go out on weekly dates. I want us to set time apart for each other. Just you and me. No one else."
I grin in approval, finding his thoughtfulness endearing. "I like that idea."
He stands up and offers me his hand. "We still have some time now; we can finish the run back to the house if you want?" he suggests calmly.
I take his hand and allow him to help me up. "I'm still dying but let's do this!" I amp myself up for some more torture.
It seems I amp Slobs up too because he's suddenly on his four furry feet again and wiggling his behind like a little worm, overjoyed to see his father – the man that he believes will save him from this 'run'.
Before we can proceed with the rough start to the day, a vile stench fills my nostrils. I glance around and spot the culprit – our furkid is using someone's beautifully cut lawn as his personal toilet, and on a garden gnome too.
"Uh-oh..." I gulp and pull at Jay's hand, willing his attention. "Of all the houses..."
Jay follows my gaze and winces. "Oof, Mr. Johnson is not going to be happy."
I nod, agreeing. "That middle-aged dude spends hours in his garden."
It's impossible not to know who Mr. Johnson is. He's incredibly weird and stands out like a sore thumb. He has about a million gnomes in his garden and he seems to have a personal relationship with each one of them. They all have names and I swear, I've seen him intimately kiss one before. I also believe that Slobber just dropped one on his gnome wife.
"Not to mention that he has quite the temper on him...and on everyone else," Jay reminds me, not that I need any reminding -- Boss Man warned us about him on the first day we moved in. Our last irate neighbor, Gunther, has nothing on Johnson.
"Yeah..." I wince and point to his window where he's peeking out at us with vulture eyes, "we've been caught and should probably run now before he pulls a male 'Cruella de Vil' on us and wears us as his human coats."
Mr. Johnson doesn't seem to interact much with other humans. He tends to keep to his creepy gnomes.
On the same wavelength as each other, Jay and I take off running when the door opens and the man, sitting in his wheelchair, starts to come after us. A few seconds later, I glance over my shoulder to see that he's gaining on us. He's somehow going incredibly fast on those wheels of his -- if anything, I see smoke.
"How is he this fast?!" I pant, already out of breath. "This can't be possible! How are we always the only normal neighbors in every neighborhood we move to?!"
Jay laughs from beside me, still going strong. "I hate to break it to you but if you call yourself 'normal', then you're in a state of complete disillusion."
Done for, I yank Jay's arm and force him to a standstill when Slobber's pudgy legs give out under him. "You're going to have to pick him up," I command. "He's not used to sprinting for his life."
"Why not? He's part of our family so he should be," Jay replies before shooting our pup a sympathetic look. He carefully picks up Slobber, cradling him in his arms like a baby, before he continues to run. "It's okay, bud. Dad's got you. Your mom is unreliable. The sooner you learn that, the better."
I follow suit after them but I'm lagging behind -- at least, I saved the baby. "Now's not the time, Jay! Now's not the time to be filling our boy's head with lies!"
"Get back here, you rapscallions! How dare you violate Bathsheeba like this?!" I hear the oldish man shout over me from very close behind me. "I'm going ride you both over with my wheelchair when I reach you and then I'm going to laugh at your suffering!"
If this man were slightly older, he would be perfect for grandma. In another life, they'd be soulmates.
"Taylor! You stop this second and save me!" I demand, upset...again. I'm not going to make it. I'm going to be run over and turned into a human coat – a beautiful coat but regardless, I'm not ready to die! There's zero dignity in this death.
"No, I'm not stopping again. Use this as an opportunity to test your limits and go beyond them," Jay simply replies, refusing to rescue me from middle-aged, wrinkly hands. If there's a phobia of elderly people, any people a lot older than me, I have it, and for good reason. "I, somewhat, believe in you."
"Fine, have it your way!" I summon the last of my energy and use it to lunge forward and jump onto Jay's back. I lock my legs around his waist and hit him on the shoulder. "Mush! Mush, JJ, mush!"
"I love you so much but this has got to be some form of abuse or something," he responds in jest and picks up in speed, obedient to my supreme air of authority. "Also, just asking, have you, maybe, picked up weight?" he teases.
I lift a hand to slap him when a car pulls over beside us. Ryan's magnificent face comes into view as his window rolls down. "Well, well, well..." he drawls out slowly, removing his sunglasses to look at us, "what do we have here? A prince, a fluffy beast, and his dog running away from a sweet, older troll? What a cute, little freakfest. How the turntables have turned..."
Have I mentioned that I hate Ryan?!
"Great! Someone has come to save us! Can we have a lift, Ry?" I ask all too eagerly and jump off Jay's back to approach his car. "We could really use a save right now," I tell him, only for Ryan to lock his doors and move his car the slightest bit forward. I try for the door handle but he moves the car again. This goes on for a bit before I graciously accept defeat.
Jay shakes his head at me. "Why would you even try a second time, never mind a fourth time, sweet girl?"
I stomp my foot in frustration. "I don't know! Curse me for choosing to only see the best in people! I thought the car just slipped!"
"What? Like three times in a row?" Jay questions my logic – big mistake on his part.
Before I can argue with my 'husband-thing', Ryan chips in:
"As much as I really want to be your guys' valiant hero, your knight in shining armor, your noble steed, etcetera," he starts off sarcastically, "I just can't because I don't feel like it at all. Plans and stuff...you guys understand, right?"
Wrong!
"Young fella with the ugly car, apprehend those rapscallions! They defiled my wife with their feces!" Mr. Johnson, in his hot wheels, directs his yelling at Ryan this time 'round.
Ryan, in return, pokes his head out of the driver's window and glances back at the infuriated man. "I can't, Mr. Johnson, they're moving too fast for me to get anywhere near them."
"I hear ya, son!" Johnson hollers back in understanding, running out of speed himself.
"You guys owe me," Ryan tells us in a condescending voice, turning his attention back to us as if he actually did something to help us.
"We owe you a slap to the face, a kick to the stomach, and a general punch to your everywhere, that's what we owe you," I retort stubbornly, still angry at him.
Ry ignores me and sends Jay and me a flat look. "I'm not the nicest guy out there but even I wouldn't take a crap on someone's wife. What's wrong with you guys?" He shakes his head at us while reprimanding us. "So impolite."
"How do you know his surname?" Jay asks in response, puzzled.
Yeah...I did not catch that...
Ry shrugs carelessly. "Not my first run-in with him, literally. I'll tell you what, I'm thankful that he doesn't remember me. A couple of weeks ago, I ran over one of his ugly gnome children with my car, beheaded one of the little freaks, knocked its head right off. Gruesome sight. Anyway, I gotta get going, guys, before I jog his memory."
"So...no lift? For realz?" I pout, disheartened by his betrayal. I might have stopped for him....
Ryan feigns a wince, acting the tiniest bit sorry. "Nah."
"Well..." I drawl desperately, "are we, at least, still on for Thursday?" I ask in a rush at seeing his car accidentally inch further and further away from us. "For your going-away party?" I clarify.
"I don't know, maybe," Ryan replies, putting his foot down on the accelerator, attempting to blitz out of our view, "it depends on what else comes up!" he yells out of his car window as he speeds away from us, leaving us to our miserable fates.
I meet Jay's gaze and sigh aloud, "He's the worst, right?"
Jay simply nods in agreement. "The worst."
He wouldn't be Ryan Brewer if he wasn't.
"One last kiss before Johnson gets us and we die?" I ask him with hopeful eyes and pucker my lips for him.
Jay looks at my lips and pretends to think about it before shaking his head. "Nah," he answers, copying Ryan and completely rejecting me while also failing to keep back a laugh as he and Slobs run away from me.
My mouth falls agape. I think my jaw is touching the ground. "I take it all back, you're the worst!" I shout, finally breaking out of my daze – I was not expecting that. "Not Ryan, you! You're the worst!"
"Love you," is his only retaliation to my verbal attacks.
Slobber barks back at me as if repeating Jay's words, a sorrowful look on his face. What a little actor!
I shake my head to myself. "This little family of mine..." I mumble, "the absolute worst." If I have kids, they better adore me and not ditch me like these two dimwits.
I'm about to start running again when I feel a sturdy hand clamp down on my shoulder. "You, young lady, are coming with me."
Oh, no...
"I never reveal my sources, Johnson, but it was a young man named Max Mills," I assure him of the truth, refusing to spin around and face him. "Please don't hurt me! Please don't wear me like a coat!" I squeal in desperation. "Max has softer skin than me!"
"I'm going to abolish everything you love like you abolished my beautiful wife!" he snaps viciously at me. "I've already lost a child in a heinous manner as is! I will not tolerate this level of disrespect! You can't just drop a turd on my lovely wife and get away with it!"
I slowly turn around to face him, doing my best to give him mesmerizing puppy eyes the way Slobs does me. "If it helps, I believe a man named Grey Ferrot helped this Max Mills in their quest to ruin your lawn and poop on your wife."
As I'm about to sprout another lie, Jay and Slobber are beside me in a flash. Before I even know it, Jay's apologizing and successfully talking Johnson down from his temper. Amazed, I watch Jay do his thing. Johnson is even smiling now and patting Slobs, nodding his head at everything Jay is saying.
Next thing I know, we're agreeing to plant a tree with Johnson and have lunch with him and his 'wife' next week. Jay waves goodbye to Johnson and tugs on my hand, making me walk away with him and Slobber.
"What just happened?" I whisper cluelessly once we're far enough.
Jay shrugs and sends me a lopsided grin. "You didn't really think that we'd just leave you, right?"
"Slobber, no, he's incredibly loyal, except when he's not," I reach down and pat his head, "however, you," I glance back at my fiancé and stand up straight again, "yes. Unsurprising."
Jay smiles and interlocks our fingers in an affectionate manner. "Well, Slobber came back because he adores you. For me...it was more not wanting to deal with the collateral damage and psychological scars after you've been turned into Johnson's coat."
I punch his arm and laugh. "Yeah, you're the worst."
"I kind of feel like the jury is still out on that one," he argues, disagreeing with me.
"Because they're stupid!" I protest lamely.
At peace, I smile when he starts to laugh, realizing, once again, that this is where my future lies...with him and Slobber.
"Maybe it has to do a little with the fact that I adore you too and never want to see anything bad happen to you, no matter how un-serious it is," he finally admits to it, although I wouldn't call Johnson trying to murder me 'un-serious'. "But yeah...more the collateral damage thing than anything else."
"Mhmm. Sure," I humor him. "It's not like you totally love me or adore me or anything."
"Don't 'mhmm' me, Lawson. I will not be patronized," he jokes before bending down to kiss me. "But, yes, I don't totally love you and adore you very much."
"Good thing the feeling is mutual then. Call off the wedding?" I ask playfully.
He nods. "Cool. Go for it. Drive a knife through my heart and soul while you're at it."
*~**~*
Hey guys :)
I hope you're all doing well? Drop a comment and let me know what's going on with you guys :D
1. What was your favourite part of this chapter?
2. Thoughts on Boss Man in this chapter?
3. Who would you say is Aqueela's true best friend?
4. Would you watch Max and Troy's TikTok videos?
5. Thoughts on Aqueela's interaction with Melby?
6. Thoughts on Aqueela's little family?
7. Do any of you relate to Aqueela in the mornings?
8. Who would you say was more in the wrong? Aqueela/Jay?
9. Who do you think Slobber sees as more reliable? Jay/Aqueela? Why?
10. Is Ryan really the worst? Why?
11. Were you expecting Ryan to blow them off?
12. Were you expecting Slobs and Jay to go back for Aqueela?
13. Should the wedding be called off?
Chapter 16-19 of this story is available on Radish right now. Check it out :) I'll be posting them on Wattpad soon.
Thank you for everything!!! <3
~ CJ