09/04/21
It's 9pm. Sejin-nim, Kyungmin, my good friend/ bodyguard, Chulsan, and I are at the Incheon International Airport. Our flight to New York departs at 7pm. Kyungmin and I are currently sitting in the Korean Air first class lounge having some dinner. Sejin-nim had to excuse himself to make a phone call with one of the members while Chulsan was sitting not too far, taking a mini nap before we board the plane, since he claimed to have a minor headache.
Prior to the trip, I did tell my parents about Moonsik. As expected, they were initially shocked. Before they let me tell them details, they made outlandish assumptions of the possible mother such as foreign musicians I've worked with or TV personalities. They made some other assumptions such as a fan or a fellow Korean idol being the mother of my child. When they found out that Sooyoung is the mother and heard my whole long explanation of what had happened from the time she and I broke up to now, they understood the situation. I knew that they would be disappointed in the fact that they didn't get to be present in Moonsik's first five years of his life, just like myself. But, my mom told me that she's proud of me for wanting to be a part of my son's life and that she's glad that I want to be present in Sooyoung and Moonsik's lives.
My mom insisted on making sure I give her Sooyoung's address so she can send Sooyoung and Moonsik a large care package. Even my dad said to throw in some black licorice in the package, since Sooyoung and my dad both shared a weird love for that candy, while I can't stomach it at all! But, it was nice to hear my dad being supportive in that way and I am shocked he remembers facts about Soo like that. My parents really did adore her.
Also, before the trip, I had ordered some children's books that I wanted to gift to Moonsik. The books I chose were my childhood favorites and are written in Hangul. Sooyoung said that he knows how to speak Korean and is learning how to read and write Hangul. I hope to at least be able to read to him, at some point during my trip, like my parents did for me when I was his age.
"Namjoon-oppa, do you have your passport on you?" Kyungmin asks me, taking me out of my thoughts. We are sitting across from each other. I've been picking at my food while she's been devouring hers.
"Yes, I do," I curtly answer her.
"Are you sure... did you double check?!" Kyungmin further questions me with a raised brow.
"I did check, actually, Kyungmin! I've learned from my past mistakes! I swear, I lose my passport a couple of times, and no one will ever forget! I'll never live that down!" I say with mock frustration at her and she just laughs like a hyena, which elicits a chuckle from me.
"You never will!" She sticks her tongue out at me and grins, then continues with a question, "Anyway, are you excited?"
"Honestly? Yes. As much as I'm nervous, I'm more excited than anything. After speaking to Moonsik through a video call, I just really want to get to know him more," I say, as I fondly think back to my video conversation with my son.
"I'm excited, too! I can't believe I'm an aunt! I'm so ready to meet Moonsik and spoil him!" My sister says cheerfully and it really makes me content to hear.
"We'll both be spoiling him like crazy," I say to her, smiling at the thought of the possible plans I have to bond with Moonsik while I'm in New York.
"So you're excited about seeing Moonsik... what about Sooyoung?" Kyungmin asks me, while wiggling her eyebrows.
"Um, I look forward to seeing her, too," I say, trying to sound as nonchalant as I possibly can.
"Really, Namjoon?!" She looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What, Kyungmin?!" I ask back, glaring at her. In what direction is she trying to take this conversation?!
"I don't know. I just thought maybe after having heard from her again, feelings would come back," she says to me, shrugging.
"It's been five years," I remind her.
"Okay, so what does that mean? Have you moved on completely, since then?" She questions me.
"Well, I had to let go of her. I had to force myself to move on. I didn't think I'd see her again," I think out loud.
"But, after having communicated with her and the fact that we'll be seeing her soon- you don't think your feelings will come flooding back?" She looks at me with a sympathetic expression on her face. I glance back, astonished, because my sister could see right through me.
"What the fuck, Kyungmin? How do you know me so well?!" I say to her, admitting defeat. Out of anyone, Kyungmin would be the one to know that I would still have feelings for Sooyoung, buried deep, for the past five years.
Yes, I had Jin and Yoongi back then. But, it was Kyungmin who I was the most open about my heartbreak after I ended the relationship with Sooyoung. My sister knows me like the back of her hand, so of course she knows I haven't completely moved on.
"I'll never forget that time after you two broke up, Namjoon. I remember how heartbroken you were. I know it was your idea but I know it was something you really didn't want to do. What are you going to do now that she's back in your life? And with the two of you having a child together, no less?!" She looks at me, patiently waiting for my reply.
"Kyungmin... I honestly don't think I'll be doing anything about Sooyoung, in terms of us rekindling a relationship. I doubt Sooyoung still has feelings for me. She told me that it devastated her when I suggested ending things back then. I doubt she wants to ever try being with me," I explain to my sister.
"You never know, Namjoon," Kyungmin says, hopeful.
"For all we know, maybe Sooyoung is involved with someone now, and it just never came up when I've talked to her. She's an amazing woman, and I'm sure she's found happiness with someone else," I tell my sister my assumption.
"Well, we don't exactly know if she really is seeing anyone at the moment. But, we'll find out soon. I personally think she might not be taken. We'll see," Kyungmin says to me, then she shovels some noodles into her mouth.
"Why does it sound like you're so invested in Sooyoung and I being together?" I ask her, curiously. I wait for her to finish slurping and digesting her food.
"I've just always been Team Soojoon...or Team Namyoung! What ship name do you like better?!" She jokes with me.
I give her a judgmental look for coming up with shipnames. She just giggles at the facial expression I threw her way.
"Namjoon-oppa, I might be biased because Sooyoung was a friend to me. But, I personally always thought that the two of you were made for each other. Plus, I don't like the women you surround yourself with," she openly admits to me. My sister is blunt and doesn't hold a lot back with me.
"First, it has been five years. A lot could have changed. Maybe Sooyoung and I both have changed and maybe we aren't as compatible as we used to be before. Second, you don't really know anything about the women I'm involved with so I would like you to not look down on any of them." I put my cutlery down, slightly losing my appetite.
"Okay, I'm sorry. But, there was that particular woman, Bora, who just rubbed me the wrong way. She just always seems standoffish around me the small handful of times I've crossed paths with her."
"Kyungmin, Bora is just very guarded, that's all. Please don't take it personally. She and I made an arrangement. There's nothing serious between us," I bluntly tell her.
"Just the times that I've seen her around you, it always seems like there was something more," my sister says with a confused tone.
"Well, we aren't in a relationship," I clarify to her.
"If you say so," Kyungmin answers with an accompanied shrug.
Sejin-nim appears from having taken a phone call.
"Everything good, Sejin-nim?" I ask my manager as he settles in the seat next to me.
"Yes, Jimin called regarding a personal issue. Everything is fine for now," he says in a reassuring tone.
"Is it about Serim*?" I question Sejin-nim.
"Yes, but, like I said, everything is fine," he answers me calmly.
"Okay, that's good," I reply back.
I decide to text Jimin. I know he's been having issues with a staff member. And, as the leader, even if I have my own personal business to attend to, I always make sure my boys can still rely on me.
*********
A/N:
*Serim is a character who is mentioned in both 'Backstage Encounters (MYG)' and 'Worthy Of An Idol (JJK).' If you are curious about the significance of that character, I suggest checking out those ffs! She'll eventually be a part of the Jimin ff, when I start publishing that one!
🎵Song to check out: "Break the Wall" by Dreamcatcher
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-MissD