26/3/21
"NAMJOON!" I hear Jin yell my name as he lets himself into my hotel room.
I left the door unlocked for him since I texted him to come over. I told him Kyungmin texted me saying she wanted to video chat with me because Sooyoung actually replied to Kyungmin's message. I wanted Jin there with me for mental support. I wanted Yoongi to join us, but he had a date with Melina and I know it's important to him, since we are leaving California in a couple days.
"Did Kyungmin say anything else other than Sooyoung replying to her?" Jin asks me as he grabs a chair and sits right next to me.
"Not really. She said she would rather discuss it all on video chat. Are you ready, Hyung?" I move the laptop in between us.
Jin nods giving me the go ahead and I proceed to call Kyungmin. After a few seconds, Kyungmin picks up the call.
Kyungmin:
"Hi, Namjoon-oppa! Oh, hi, Jin-oppa! I didn't know you would be in on the call!"
Jin:
"Hi, Kyungmin! Thought I'd say hi! Plus, Namjoon wanted me to be in on the call"
Namjoon:
"Hi, Kyungmin! It 's about 2:30pm there, right?"
Kyungmin:
"Yes, it is. I know it's late there in California."
Namjoon:
"It's 10:30pm. It's not too late. Anyway, you said you had an update?"
Kyungmin:
"Yes, I do! Sooyoung responded to my simple message asking how she's doing and she said she was doing well and basically asked me how I've been doing and what I have been up to these days. I sent her a message shortly after I received hers, briefly filling her in on my life, then I asked her what she's up to and where she resides now."
Namjoon:
"And?"
Kyungmin:
"When we were messaging back and forth, she shared more than I expected. She mentioned how she ended up withdrawing from Stanford and moved to New York to live with her sister since she had to take a necessary break from school."
Namjoon:
"Necessary break?"
Kyungmin:
"Yes. At first, she only alluded to the fact that something major happened where she couldn't put her all into med school. But, a couple years after she withdrew from Stanford, she applied to the medical school at Columbia University. She has a couple more years of med school left and plans on doing her residency right after."
Namjoon:
"Well, that's good she still continued medical school and is doing exactly what she dreamt of. Did she explain why she didn't continue school at Stanford?"
Kyungmin:
"Um, yes. It's because a month after she moved to California, she found out she was pregnant. I was straightforward and asked her if she was with the father still and she said she wasn't."
Namjoon:
"Oh."
Kyungmin:
"Um...at that point, she had asked to call me so I told her she could and it was an emotional call, to be honest."
Namjoon:
"Would she even be okay with you telling me about the conversation you had with her?"
Kyungmin:
"At the end of our call, she made it a point to say that I could make you aware that she and I spoke and that if I wanted to inform you of anything we discussed on the phone, I'm free to do so. But, Namjoon-oppa, what I'm going to tell you is a lot."
Namjoon:
"Well, you've got my attention, so you might as well tell me what you and Sooyoung discussed."
Jin:
"Is it okay if I'm even here?"
Kyungmin:
"Well, I think Namjoon is going to need you if he needs someone to confide in about this, so I think it's fine, Jin-oppa."
Jin nods in front of the screen.
Namjoon:
"Okay, Kyungmin. What did you and Sooyoung discuss?"
Kyungmin:
"When she called me, she told me she had something to share and that once I know, I have every right to share the information with you. She admitted that she should have said something sooner, but she was too afraid to, especially with certain circumstances."
Namjoon:
"What was she afraid of sharing?"
Kyungmin:
"That she has a son. I asked her when he was born, and she said his birthday is February 5, 2016. She found out she was pregnant a month after she left Seoul to go to Stanford. She felt so lost and didn't know what to do."
Sooyoung moved there about a month before her semester was supposed to start, to get assimilated and settled, but instead, she ended up withdrawing from school, after long discussions with her parents and sister. They all came to an agreement that she would take a break and try to go back to school in the future if she wanted to. Her sister flew her out to New York and insisted on having her live together. Sooyoung said her sister basically helped her throughout her pregnancy and even up until now."
Namjoon:
"What about the son's father? Did Sooyoung mention anything?"
Kyungmin:
"Namjoon..."
Namjoon:
"What?"
Kyungmin:
"She said you were the only one she was with back then. She said she was in a committed relationship with you and only you. And, she was on birth control but she thinks she must have missed a day of taking it."
Jin:
"Did she say Namjoon's the father during your call?"
Kyungmin:
"She did."
Namjoon:
"I'm...wait, why is she just admitting this now. After 5 years?!"
Kyungmin:
"She said she tried to contact you after she had her son...your son, when she realized you had every right to know. But, when she tried to contact you, she said you must have had changed your phone number."
Namjoon:
"Fuck. That was around the time our group was having growing issues with sasaengs and the company changed all of our contact information and made it more secure for us. Even, all our families...like you had to change your number, too! Because, you were being harassed by fans."
Kyungmin:
"Exactly! She tried to contact me and she said she even tried to find me online but that's when I had to keep a low-profile. She tried to contact BigHit, but without saying the real reason, they wouldn't give her access in contacting you."
Namjoon:
"So, she did try..."
Kyungmin:
"Namjoon, she did say how maybe she could've tried harder to contact you but she had other reservations and why she was afraid to tell you."
Namjoon:
"Why would she be afraid?"
Kyungmin:
"Sooyoung said the main reason was because of your profession. She said that back when she found out that she was pregnant, you were so focused on BTS and she didn't want to ruin that dream of yours. Then, as the years went by, your group started to grow more successful and she thought that if you knew about the child, it would be detrimental to your career. She admitted the second reason was more personal."
Namjoon:
"What did she say?"
Kyungmin:
"She said how back when the two of you were still together, while she had just moved to California, you were the one to suggest breaking off the relationship. She mentioned how she tried to have you reconsider staying together but you said both of your careers would suffer if you tried to keep going on, so she made the painful decision to let you go, even though she didn't want to. And, because, you didn't want to keep the relationship going, she figured you wouldn't want anything to do with the child either."
Namjoon:
"I..."
Kyungmin:
"I told her that you were having a tough time with your career at the time, and that you broke up with her mainly for that reason, but not because you stopped loving her. I told her you still loved her back then. Right? I remember you telling me that."
Namjoon:
"I still did love her, yes."
Kyungmin:
"Well, a whole lot of crying and talking happened between me and Sooyoung and she said that if I wanted to, I could give you her phone number. She said that if you wanted to open up communication, you can and, whatever you want to do, moving forward, it's up to you. She said, if you want to take a paternity test, to be sure, you can. If you decide you really want nothing to do with the boy's life, she'll respect that. If you want to be in his life, she said you're more than welcome to. But, she'll respect any decision you make."
Namjoon:
"I think I need to talk to Sooyoung."
Kyungmin:
"Then, I'll text you her number."
Namjoon:
"Thanks, Kyungmin."
Kyungmin:
"Namjoon-oppa, I know this is a lot to take in, so if you need to get off the call to gather your thoughts on everything I unloaded on you, we can get off the call."
Namjoon:
"If that's okay with you."
Kyungmin:
"It's totally fine. Love you, brother."
Namjoon:
"Love you, kid."
~
I end the call and look over to Jin, who tries to break the silence, but someone else does.
"Um, guys," I hear a familiar voice behind me. I look over to Jin, and we both look behind us to see Jimin standing in the middle of my hotel room looking stunned. He stealthily entered my room because neither Jin and I heard him enter.
"Jimin, how long have you been here?" Jin questions the younger member.
"Not long, but long enough. The door was unlocked and slightly ajar," Jimin says, with shock on his face, "I just got back from being out. I brought churros," he tries to say calmly, while holding a bag up.
"I thought I closed it!" Jin utters out, looking at me, apologetically.
"So, you heard what Kyungmin just shared to us?" I ask the blonde-haired guy.
"That you have a son?" Jimin whispers, inconspicuously, "I won't tell anyone until you're ready."
"I appreciate that, Jimin," I tell him, sincerely, then address both of them, "Guys, I need to talk to Sejin-nim about this as soon as possible and hopefully I can figure out where to go from here."
"Do I know the mom?" Jimin asks about the woman from my past.
"I was with her a long time ago, even when BTS was together, but I kept the relationship to myself mostly, since we weren't as free to date like we are now. Jin and Yoongi found out back then, but I begged them to keep that knowledge to themselves. I hope you don't take it personally that I never told you about her. I did it for the safety of my ex, back when she was my girlfriend, and my career." I look at Jimin, hoping he would understand.
"I don't take it personally. I remember how strict our company was back then," he gives me a caring smile, "if you want me to be with you when you talk to Sejin-nim and Bang PD-nim, you know I'll be there for you."
"I'll be there, too. If you need us," Jin chimes in.
"That means a lot, guys," I smile at them both.
The guys hang out for a while, snacking on the churros, and they eventually leave me alone with my thoughts.
I have a son who I never knew about.
I'm a dad.
I start thinking about all the times I've missed of this child's life and I'm starting to feel guilty that I've been absent when it came to all of his milestones during the first five years of his life.
In a way, I can understand why Sooyoung kept the knowledge of him from me. I also understood how difficult it was for her to try to contact me and not being able to.
I just really wish that I could have been there for him since the day he was born.
I can't dwell on that, now, though. Now, that I know about my son, I'll do whatever it takes to be a part of his life.
*********
A/N:
Debate time!
Are you a mint choco person like Hobi and JK or anti-mint choco like Jin, Joon, Jimin, and Tae?!
Should mint chocolate chip ice cream exist?! State your reasons! 😂
🎵Song to check out: "New Slang" by The Shins
I appreciate you reading this chapter! Please don't forget to vote and comment. Thank you!✨
-MissD