(This was requested by patyscoven thanks for your request girl enjoy xx TW: self harm)
It hadn't meant to be like this, I thought I was okay. I had battled through it, I was meant to be strong but I caved in, yet again. I had finally stopped self harming, I didn't want to hurt him again, Negan. The man I had fallen in love with. But it just got too much, picking up that razor just seemed like the best thing to do. It had been another tough day, I was exhausted, I missed Rick, Daryl was gone and I felt so alone, I felt trapped. I was inside my bathroom, staring at the mirror, breathing hard as I sobbed, I smash the mirror, as the pieces break off, I gently pick up the glass, I shut my eyes as I slice my wrists, over and over again, I cried as the blood trickled down my arms, I drop the glass into the sink as I try and stop the bleeding, but I didn't know how badly I did it this time. "Y/n- oh my god." Negan's face dropped when he saw me bleeding, what I did. "What did you do?!" He shouted at me, as he grabbed my arms, he pulled his shirt off as he put pressure on the cuts, he was breathing so hard, as I sobbed, he sighed deeply, as I felt his eyes on mine, "I'm sorry, I had to." I whisper, as he stayed silent, I knew I had done enough. "Press down on there." He told me, as he grabbed a first aid box, he started to clean me up, bandaging my forearms as he picked me up and placed me on the bed. He sat me down as he looked at me. "Why?"
"I felt so alone, Negan. I felt trapped. Rick's dead and- Daryl left. There is no one else." I wipe my tears away, as he held onto my shoulders. "There's me. There was always me. Why would you do this again? You told me you'd stop." He kissed my forehead as I take a deep breath. "I don't know how to stop." My voice broke, as he looked into my eyes. "Let me help you, y/n. You know how I feel about you and the last thing I need is finding you dead in your bathroom. I thought you died." He frowned, as I look up. "I didn't mean it, it just makes me feel better." I mumbled, "Baby, look at me. You know this isn't okay, don't you? When you hurt yourself.. it hurts me." He grabbed a blade from his pocket, handing it to me. "How many cuts?" He says. "I don't know.. maybe ten, I didn't count." I was confused. "I want you to cut me ten times." He tells me. "What?! No!" I was shaking at the thought of it. "Every time you do this, it hurts me. So you hurt yourself, so now you have to do the same to me. Do it." He held out his arm. "Negan, I can't.. please. I love you, I can't." I felt the tears coming again, "If you can't even hurt me, why would you hurt yourself? I love you, y/n. And I need you to stop. Please." He looked at me again. "I'll stop it, just- help me. Please just help me."
"I'm right here. I promise."