A week after Jisung had heard about the news with Hyunjin's dating rumor he finally had the guts to go outside again... at least he tried to tell himself that it was like that.
Even though his face had been blurred on all the web articles and Hyunjin's entertainment had already posted a statement Jisung still felt highly uncomfortable when thinking about the possible scenario that someone might still recognize him. The first few days after it was posted the boy couldn't ignore the hateful comments that were directed toward him for apparently only using Hyunjin for money or whatever.
Of course, he knew that this was a misunderstanding and that Hyunjin and him were only friends but yet it hurt and it had caused Jisung a few panic attacks especially when people claimed to know him.
With the help of Hyunjin who had called him and Felix who had made sure to distract him Jisung had managed to calm down a bit now.
But he couldn't remember when he agreed to hangig out with Chan, Changbin and Felix in a theme park until they were in front of the VIP entrance where luckily no one was around.
"So, I don't wanna third wheel here so I'll stay with Jisung when you guys decide to run away." Chan stated giving Felix and Changbin who were both studying a map of the theme park, a cold stare.
"Yeah yeah whatever." Changbin remarked not paying attention when they continued their way into the park.
"I chose this park because there is a bit that Jisung can do despite his injuries here." Felix explained and joined Jisung's side to show him a list of all the events.
By now Jisung could use crutches because his hand was better but he still preferred his wheelchair. Walking like this was exhausting. Why did they even want to bring him to a theme park like this?!
"Aaand" Chan added. "It's not as crowded as in summer because it's too cold to use the water roller coasters yet." He wanted to cheer Jisung up and made sure to walk slow enough.
They spent quiet a while going around places, sitting in these couple boats, doing lottery and more but at some point when Jisung was at the end of his strength he started feeling someone watching him. Anxiously he turned around but there was no one.
"Is everything alright?" Chan asked while the both of them were sitting down in a small and open tram that would bring them to the ice café in the park where they'd meet up with the couple again.
"Yeah..." Jisung answered and turned around again. Yet, the feeling of someone following them didn't leave him after that.
He kept turning around again and again but there was no person looking at them, no one suspicious...
"Jisung, you're most definitely not alright." Chan pulled him out of his thoughts and put a hand on his shoulder while the tram was stopping at the 3rd stop.
"Please tell me what bothers you..." he pleaded and patiently waited for Jisung's answer while the boy stared at him with big eyes.
"Chan... w- what if the murderer is free? What if he escapes the prison? What if he followed me here? He'll try to kill me! He'll-"
"Jisung!" Chan slightly raised his voice at him and proceeded to talk insistenty without giving him a chance to say anything further.
"Look at me. You're gonna do as I do, alright? Take a deep breath... hold it... and breath out again."
Jisung was completely caught of guard but he did as Chan told him to. Things like this used to happen to him when he didn't have difficulties talking yet. He'd speak faster and faster, forgetting to breath resolving in a panic attack or passing out in the worst cases. Usually, this had happened during therapy when he was faced with his fears...
"Now look around you again. There is no one following us, Jisung. The murderer is thousands of miles away in a special security prison in Busan for the rest of his life. And even if he managed to escape the police would know faster than he could even arrive here, okay? Feeling like you are followed is not unusual when being in public places while still coping with trauma." He smiled at the younger and patted his back before Jisung unconsciously grabbed his hand.
"D- don't leave me alone here." he quietly pleaded and still focused on his breathing.
As long as Chan was with him... he'd be save.
"Of course, you know I'm here for you." Chan's gentle smile let Jisung calm down a bit.
This was a theme park so he should enjoy himself after all, shouldn't he? And the last thing Jisung wanted was to be troublesome to any of the other's like right now. They were here to have fun and not to deal with Jisung's problems so the boy decided to let it go for now and not bother Chan even more. It was okay as long as he was there.
A bit later after they had some slush ice and other cold drinks Changbin suddenly seemed to remember something and his eyes excitedly sparkled when telling the others about it.
"Guys, we came across a small competition to participate earlier. It's about poetry, more specifically writing lyrics to a track they posted on their YouTube channel. I think it's fun so why shouldn't every of us participate?" he cheered and Felix added with the same excitement.
"There is gonna be a jury of well known rappers like Hongjoong and Mingi, the famous duo! And the winner will receive a selfie and autograph with these rappers along with money worth a friggin gaming computer." Felix's eyes were wide while Changbin laughed because of his weird comparison.
"So you want us to participate?" Chan reassured himself and they nodded.
"Let's do it for the fun, right?" Felix suggested and looked at everyone with a questioning gaze.
"You also have to participate, Jisung!" Changbin added making the boy swallow drily.
He used to rap on soundcloud back in the days but it has been at least two years since he lastly wrote any lyrics.
"Alright..." he answered not wanting to disappoint the others even though he didn't even want to win. His plan was to just write some random stuff so it would not be good enough.
Being the center of attention was the last thing he needed.
"Here, this is the track." Changbin showed it to them before each wrote down a few lyrics on a piece of paper before heading over to the said competition stand and handing it in.
"Thanks for participating." The woman taking their work thanked them.
"I think you're the last ones. Please wait half an hour until the judges have decided." She explained and turned around to head inside a container where they'd probably pick the one that they liked best.
After waiting for 25 minutes there was already a small crowd around the competition stand. It only lasted for one day so the number of participants couldn't be more than about 200 people which added up to the amount of people standing in the crowd.
Jisung and the others decided to watch from a little further away because Jisung didn't like the crowd. They could still hear and see from back there so it was not a problem.
"Thank you all for participating, our judges took close consideration to all lyrics and have finally decided for the one they like best." The woman that took their entries before loudly talked to the crowd.
"Now, we don't want to keep it a secret any longer so please welcome our judges for this event who will announce the winner. Song Mingi and Kim Hongjoong!" She cheered and the crowd started screaming and giving applause to the two guys stepping up on the small stage and greeting their fans and participants.
Jisung was actually a big fan of those two. Their music used to help him a lot in stressing situations but he never saw them in real life so the nervous and energetic feelings that he felt were something new to the boy and it numbed everything else.
That's how he liked it... seeing these people close up but still watching from the side quietly.
"Thank you, thanks." Mingi was still busy taking compliments when Hongjoong took a small fancy looking mic and blowed on it two times to check if it was working.
"Soo, we went through all the lyrics and I gotta admit there were some real master pieces among them. The reason we chose the following one for the winner is because we found a part of ourselves in this because it's something everyone can go through in life. The way that person presented their feelings in these lyrics is really fascinating so we're gonna read it out loud." He explained watching through the crowd. Both Hongjoong and Mingi were secretly excited to know what man was behind these lyrics because he surely had potential.
"Here we go." Mingi started.
"
[Lyrics of "Alien" by Stray Kids Han Jisung]
Congratulations to Han Jisung for these amazing lyrics! Please come up to the stage to get your prize and the autograph and selfie with us."
'What?' From one moment to the other the smile that had been on Jisung's face faded and he found himself suddenly being stared at from every side although his friends were the only ones really looking at him. If he only attempted to step forward everyone would stare at him for sure. He couldn't do this, how did his text even win?!
"Jisung you won!" Felix shrieked loudly and excitedly shook his arm.
'Oh hell no...' Jisung already saw what was coming next.
A second later the whole crowd had turned around to him and he froze in place.
"Oh god, sorry." Felix realized but it was too late.
"Ah you back there! Are you Han Jisung? Please come to the stage." Mingi waved at him from all across the crowd before Jisung felt someone taking his hand.
"It's alright Jisung, I know it's difficult for you but from what I know these people won't judge anyone and they chose you as the winner so you should be proud, right?"
Chan whispered to him and slowly pulled him in direction of the small path that people had formed for them.
"Chan, no I really-" Jisung interrupted and was about to come to a halt when Chan turned around and grabbed his hand more firmly.
"Jisung, I know well that it isn't pleasant for you but you can't keep avoiding crowds forever. How will you know that you can't handle it if you haven't even tried? At the party you seemed to be fine, yeah?" He pleaded at Jisung and the boy knew that it was fine at the party but still he was scared.
"But everyone is staring at me now..." he looked around him at all the people waiting for him to finally continue walking. Again he felt strained from all the stares... it was freaking him out.
In the next moment he heard cheers and clapping from the crowd making him scoop closer to Chan and scan his surroundings carefully. When his eyes trailed over the stage he noticed that Hongjoong had just jumped down from it on the ground where people made space for him so... he could walk toward Jisung?!
"I think someone right here doesn't acknowledge his talent." he smiled when having arrived at the spot where Chan and Jisung were both still standing.
Nervously, Jisung gulped and his voice faded just like that.
The next moment he saw Chan whispering something to Hongjoong before the rapper nodded and proceeded to take Jisung's hand.
"You know, being in the center of attention can be scary sometimes but at the same time look at all the people around you." Hongjoong quietly said only for Jisung to hear while still firmly holding onto his hand and leading him to the stage. The boy himself was too overwhelmed by his idol to actually do anything but Hongjoong's voice kept him conscious.
"They're looking at you in appreciation because you won this contest and that is good attention... a kind of attention that not many can get. Now come on." He cheered Jisung on before literally pulling him up the stage where Mingi took his other hand.
"Applause for the winner!" They said and again the crowd started cheering loudly and yelling things like 'congratulations bro!'
'these lyrics really touched me'
and more.
To Jisung it felt like standing on a high cliff where the wind was blowing right at his face and overwhelming him to fall back, but Hongjoong and Mingi wouldn't let him... was this real? Was this really real?
Jisung was so caught up in whatever this feeling was that the selfie, autograph and the paycheck they handed him felt like it happened in less than a second. And another second later he found himself behind the small stage where his friends waited for him while Mingi and Hongjoong along with the women from before handed him another small card.
"We're looking forward to you contacting our company if you want. This is only an offer but I think a person with your writing style has really good chances to make himself a name in the industry." Hongjoong patted his shoulder and put the card into the pocket of Jisung's jacket.
Again Jisung couldn't function right.
"Whoaa, imagine Jisung as a rapper, I'm already simping." Felix whisper-yelled with shining eyes before Changbin elbowed him.
"Ya, don't pressure him."
"Are you jealous, Binnie." Felix chuckled and grabbed his arms while the older started slightly blushing.
"Never." he said and averted his eyes but still making sure that Felix kept holding onto him.
Meanwhile the two rappers and the woman said goodbye to everyone and left them alone outside behind the stage.
"See? You did great." Chan whispered to Jisung and from one moment to the other a bright smile formed on the younger's face.
He was happy at that moment... he was sincerely happy.
...
A few days later
Minho had been staring at his phone for five minutes now. A few days ago Felix had sent him pictures of Jisung winning a contest so Minho had called him several times after that but he never picked up.
Right now he was contemplating if he should call again. Was he getting on Jisung's nerves? Maybe Jisung wasn't well? Or did he fuck up again?
To be honest Minho really wanted to hear the younger's voice right now...
Everything there in America was boring to him, even the parties that he used to enjoy to the fullest so he stayed alone most of the time. Like that he had time to think more about himself and he came to the conclusion that he probably missed Jisung in a way. After all he still had to make up for what he did to the boy, Minho even said he wanted to start from the beginning but now he was stuck here.
Again he pressed the calling button... and... he actually took it!
"Jisung! Oh I'm sorry I shouldn't yell. I tried to call you 5 times now but you never answered so I was worrying that something happened. Are you alright?" He asked, just now noticing that he hadn't taken a breath while talking.
But there was no response coming, he could only hear him breathing sometimes at the other end.
Was he angry at Minho? But what did he do?
"You know, I saw that you won that contest and I felt really proud for you... as your boss of course" he quickly added. Was that the right thing to say? Maybe Minho should refer to them as friends instead of boss and personal assistant...
"Whatever, America is really boring so I miss being at home with you and..." he was about to say too much about his feelings when he recieved a message from Felix. It only showed for a few seconds but it was enough to make Minho feel an immense amount ot awkwardness.
'Jisung lost his phone during the competition 4 days ago, he got himself a new one from the price money. Here is his new number: ***********'
"Uff... that's awkward right now." Minho closed his eyes when realizing that he had just been speaking to a stranger that probably found Jisung's phone.
"Uhm... I'm sorry. I thought you were the original owner of this phone... uhm. Please just get this phone to the police or something so the original owner can have it back." Minho said after clearing his throat, now keeping a professional voice and waiting for the answer of the person in the call.
There was silence for a few seconds and Minho already thought that this person was trolling him when he suddenly heard a silent chuckle from the phone. It was a male chuckle and it pissed Minho off.
"Oh come on, you know what? Fuck you. Keep the phone if you don't intend to give it back but I also gotta change my number because of this now so just know that you're a pain in the ass, bastard" he coldly hissed and ended the call abruptly.
He had enough of this today. Probably he'd try calling Jisung tomorrow... for real this time.
_______________________________________
Plot twist: Someone actually followed Jisung lol