Ryujin's POV
I tightly holds the bouquet of flower that I bought for Yeji, breathing deeply before totally entering her room.
I found her sitting beneath her bed with her face resting on the study table. Why do I feel like she's awake? Why do I feel like I've forgotten her for awhile? I put the bouquet on her bed without breaking my stare at her.
I'm looking at her back and it feels like I can't even recognize her as mine...
"Yeddeong-ah..." I murmured, enough for the wind to hear it. I stood in front of her, I could only see the other side of her face that's why I gently cup it.
Slowly detaching my palm on her cheek, I draw a heart using my thumb and point finger on it just like what she did back then on my palm.
In a relationship, communication is the best way to cope up everything. One fucked up communication and it would feel different. Because this is what I'm feeling right now...I felt like I haven't known her for long.
Yeji suddenly holds my hand that's just lying above her face. She slowly placed it back to her cheek without even opening her eyes.
"Stare at me for long..." Yeji uttered. I looked up, trying to hold my visible tears. Why am tearing up?
"You used to make me feel butterflies in my stomach..." she mumbled with the softest voice she could ever have when she's sleepy, "But now...all I feel is pain from the chest down to my tummy..."
I gritted my teeth while tears are streaming down my face. I fixed a lot in my family but I forgot about her. I haven't even ask Seulgi what she's been doing nor answer her texts with the same energy...I was too busy fixing everything with everyone while ruining my relationship with her...
"What if...what if I'm not for you? What if you deserve someone better, someone who can help you?" this time, Yeji opened her eyes. Her stares quickly darted on me and I wasn't even ready for it... I'm really embarrassing.
I didn't even told her about those situations I've been in for the past days. I'm a total scumbag.
"No, Yeji..." I pulled out a pack of adhesive bandages from my pocket, "Here, help me. You're the only one who can help me. Y-You'll put this until I heal, right?" I mumbled while putting it on her palm.
"N-No...no! This is bullshit, Ryu." Yeji continuously shakes her head in disagreement while trying to walk away from me. I grasped her arms and blocked her way out, still trying to put this pack of adhesive bandages on her clenching fist.
"This is—it's just pure childish. You don't deserve this—" I hugged her tight before she could even continue speaking. I've heard enough, I don't wanna hear any of those anymore.
"I'm sorry..." I murmured while hugging her tight, getting back all those hugs I've missed.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that it's childish enough, that it can never heal me...but it does. I just need you to put it on me. Everything you do heals the inner me...it heals everything in me."
"No...I'm sorry...I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you and I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help you..." Yeji stated as she gave in here in my arms.
"I know that you're my girlfriend but you're not obligated to help me everytime. Sometimes...we'd have to face some problem alone. Sometimes we need that, okay? You're not obligated to help me with everything, Yeddeong-ah..." I uttered, "I can't think of anything right now...I just miss you so much..." I totally buried my face on her shoulder and cried harder.
It's fine, I'm in my safest place...
"And—and I'm still missing you tho you're here already..." I murmured. My heart is deeply longing for her.
"Me too...you're here but it still hurts because I still misses you." Yeji's fingers runs down my head as she strokes my hair, "I love you so much, Ryuddaeng..."
"I love you too—" I was cut off because of my hiccups that made Yeji chuckle. I parted from our hug while wiping my tears with a smile on my lips.
"Stop crying, you're getting hiccups already." Yeji cupped my face and leaned closer to me to kiss my forehead, "I'm sorry that I almost thought of giving up..." she mumbled while looking at me.
I held the side of her face, "I'm sorry that I made you think of giving up, Yeji." I said. Yeji smiled at me and hugged me once again.
"Oh, why didn't you tell me that you bought a bouquet for me? I didn't notice it earlier." she broke from our hug and walks toward her bed to pick the bouquet.
"Because that's not for you. That's for Seulgi but you can pick some flower if you want to." I teased. Yeji looks at me with a pout which made me smile from ear to ear, "Why? I need to have a good shot with my soon mother-in-law." I went to her direction and held her chin. She just pouted while looking down, avoiding my gaze.
"Fine, you can have that bouquet all by yourself, pretty." I gave her a peck on her lips before seeing a glimpse of her smile.
"Are you not joking? Is this really for mom?" Yeji curiously asked.
"Of course I'm joking, it's for you. Someone pretty like you should receive a beautiful bouquet of peonies in random days."
"It's so pretty!" she said with giggles.
I want to have a better start with Yeji and I think, this is the right time to have the better start I'm talking.
"Yeddeong-ah..." I called out. Her eyes that were glued on the beautiful peonies shifted at me.
"Why?"
"Look at the middle of peonies," I stated. She confusingly checked it and shrugged afterwards.
"What?" she confusingly asked.
"There's something in the middle." I said.
Yeji looks at me with overwhelmed smile, "Is it a ring? Are you gonna propose already?"
"No, just see it yourself." I uttered.
She sat on the bed while carefully looking for that thing. I just noticed those jars of wilted petals beneath her windows.
Others would just dump the bouquet of flowers that are wilted already. I'm lucky to have this girl who knows how to treasure everything.
"Ryujin-ah...it's a ring—it's mom's ring." she murmured.
"Yeji—"
"Are we gonna have the same promise ring from our moms?" Yeji uttered that shocked me, "About that—mom told me already and I'm glad you didn't become my sister." she said before laughing.
"Don't get me wrong. Of course I felt bad for them but if our lives were fated like this, then what can we do? There were a lot of mistakes committed that turned the fate in the other way but surely, the destiny wants another Seulgi and Irene in the name of Yeji and Ryujin this time." Yeji stated and stood up, "A promise ring, right?" she asked while walking to my direction, holding the ring.
"There's no way I'd propose to you in this situation." I moved my feet forward to get the ring on her hand, "I wanna propose something else with this ring...I want us to start again. We had a good start but I guess we can have better, right?" Yeji's just looking at me, in my eyes that's full of pure intentions.
"Pretty, can you be my partner until my hair turns gray and my skin wrinkles?" I asked and she gladly smiled at me, "are you willing to be that woman who would throw plates on me if I come home late at night for straight days?" Yeji pinches my nose as she laughs.
"I'm not that kind of girl who would throw plates, Ryuddaeng. I throw daggers." she stated and mischievously laughs.
"Are you willing to build a room full of wilted flowers? Because I'm more than ready to buy any flowers on the road just to make you smile."
"Are you willing to stay with me when my sight turns bad and when we couldn't hear each other clearly? Are you willing to read what my mouth says when we can do nothing but sit on a rocking chair all day?
"Are you willing to raise a dog with me?"
"Of course! I'll be glad." she answered with a smile.
"But Seulgi told me you can get overly jealous with a dog," I smirked at her but she just rolled her eyes.
"It's because she took care of bella more than me. Mom would always comb bella's hair everyday and can't even do mine."
"You're grown up already Yeddeong-ah, why would you expect your mom to comb your hair still?" I cupped her face but Yeji just looked away with her arms crossed. I guess the only hard thing on having a girlfriend is getting into fights with small things like this.
Like you'd wake up in the morning with your girlfriend sulking just because you hugged the pillow all night instead of her.
"I'm not taking that ring already." she murmured which made me laugh.
Yeji hits me on my shoulder, "Why are you laughing, Ryujin-ah! You're making fun of me!" do bottoms really have this unusual mood swings?
"Okay okay, I won't laugh anymore. Seulgi's really wrong because she's brushing that dog's hair everyday instead of her own daughter, right? Omygod why was Seulgi like that???" I held the back of her head while speaking with my puckered lips, "She should be combing your hair everyday because you're a grown up girl already with a capabilityof taking care of herself, right? You're a big girl with a big marshmallows already why is Seulgi not brushing your hair???" Yeji just pushed me away with a glare.
"Just put that on my finger and shut up." she stated that's why I cleverly smiled before holding her hand. She's still looking away from me with a pouting lips that's why I kissed her cheeks after putting the ring on her ring finger.
"I love you, pretty." I murmured.
"Just that? Where's the 'so much'? Geez it should be I love you so much, don't you love me that much? Where's the feeling, Ryuddaeng?" she mumbled. I can't help but to giggle.
"I love you so much." I said.
"Just that?! Where's my name at? How would I know if that I love you so much is for me?" I brushed my hand on my face and breathed heavily. This girl be acting like this, makes me want to pin her on the wall.
"I love you so much, Yeji..." I repeated.
"Hello?? Full name please??? Yeji who?"
I laughed before licking the bottom of my upper lip, "What's wrong with you, Yeddeong-ah?" I caressed her face but she didn't bother to look at me.
"You kissed me on my cheek." she stated.
"And?"
"Dumbass. My lips is on the center." Yeji mumbled that made me giggle even more. I hugged her tight before kissing her lips for long.
I don't want anything right now but just an assurance that this will be the very first day I'll have the peace I was praying for long.
—👄
i'm distracted the whole time while writing this because my puppy keeps on playing with his squeaky toy. it keeps on squeaking until now and it's so annoying more than the sound of a rubber ducky that's played on repeat the whole day.