Medicine Man ~ Dorothy (*)
**picture above is how I picture Aerial during Blood Out**
Split Perspective
••••••
Harry ~~
Rayne is the biggest fucking tease I've ever met.
Even when she's not trying, but especially when she is.
She makes it so hard for me to not just fuck her into oblivion every time I see her.
Those long tanned legs, full breasts, plump lips, curvy hips, and fake innocent hazel eyes.
All of her makes me happy and horny. An odd mixture for me.
She makes it very difficult to focus on what Tate is talking about.
"Boss." His deep stern voice breaks my gaze and thoughts away from Rayne as she dances so carefree in the middle of the floor.
"Sorry. Continue." I nod my head at him.
"Your brother, the hunt for him, it's tough. It's like he's completely flown off the radar. A couple years ago when you were still keeping tabs on him, it was easier. But ever since we've stopped it's like there's nothing left to find. I've been up for two days straight now trying to figure this out, but I'm not that great at it. Neither is Garrett." Tate keeps his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as he tells me the last thing I wanted to hear tonight.
Although it's necessary.
I close my eyes for a minute and take a deep breath in. I'm really getting frustrated about this. I've been trying non stop as well to find my brother. But it's damn near impossible since he never seems to go out in public and because I also can't find anything that confirms he's even in Chicago anymore.
I knew he had been following my location somehow when I was still keeping tabs on him. Now it seems as if we both stopped trying to watch out for each other at the same time a couple years ago.
He probably stopped because he doesn't know shit about me other than I left him behind when he got old enough. It was the right choice, he was old enough to survive on his own after what I'd taught him and with his computer skills. Yes, he was only twelve, but I had to leave him then before he got old enough for me to not be able to brainwash any memories of my choice away.
I did that so it would hurt him less. An entire years worth of making him forget everything other than the way our mother died, and it was worth it. I'm sure he woke up under that bridge that morning and didn't even care that I was gone.
"I've been working on it too. It's starting to get under my skin big time. I don't know why he's disappeared all of a sudden. But what I do know is that he's a genius. Always has been. So it was probably no skin off his back to be able to do this." I sigh again and run my fingers through my hair.
"We won't stop trying, I can promise you that. Just wanted to let you know that we currently are not making much progress." Tate shifts his body to face mine a little more.
I nod my head at him. "Thanks."
He nods back and then walks away. He isn't really much of a partier, he'll get plastered every now and then though.
Garrett on the other hand, Jesus Christ.
I look back over to where he and Rayne are dancing. Garrett seems to have decided to leave her alone and start fucking with another random girl again. Rayne doesn't seem to care though. She always seems so carefree.
I still don't like that he left her like that though. And it's a good thing I actually like to dance. I'm not very good, but you have the most fun doing it when you're not good at it I believe.
Downing the rest of my refilled drink, I mildly slam it onto the bar top and then make my way over to her. I needed another one in order to actually go through with dancing.
Especially if it's going to be with Rayne.
And god fucking damn look at her.
The closer I get the better I'm able to see how fantastic she looks. A thin and sheen layer of sweat coats the exposed parts of her body, making her literally glow. Her hazel orbs are shut and her bottom lip is between her teeth, making her look content and oddly relaxed given her surroundings.
She doesn't realize I've come to stand next to her yet. So I take this time to just watch her.
The woman who's made me throw most of my rules and morals out the window. The woman who has shown me that I am not alone, even with the fucked up things I've been through.
She may have not been through the exact same experience, but she knows what I felt. She's felt the pain that I have, and she flew off the deep end just like I did.
We often keep the darkness within us in because we find it so terribly difficult to relate to someone. To find someone who truly understands. I've spent almost a decade of my life in sorrow, agonizing emotional pain, trauma, and mental destruction. But Rayne relates, she understands. And she's proven that in multiple circumstances. Without even realizing it.
I could just tell by the way she speaks, acts, listens, and carries herself that she knows what I've been through and what trauma like that can do to someone. That's why I've been so different with her. That's also why I've started to care for her. I hate it, but I can't fucking stop it so I won't even try. There's no point.
So instead I watch as she lifts her arms into the air, bringing her long brown hair with them and then letting it drop back down into place as she sways her luscious hips to the rhythm of the music.
When she finally opens her eyes and notices me, her lips pull into a wide cheeky grin that does something to my chest. Or my stomach. I don't know. I felt it earlier when she held my arm as I spoke up about feelings I keep pent up inside my head.
"You come to dance or spectate?" She teasingly asks.
I bite my lip to hold a grin in but it doesn't work. "What do you think?"
She squints her eyes slightly, like she's focusing on her answer. "Hmmm," I barely hear the humming sound leave her lips over the music, but I've stepped close enough to her now that I can just make it out.
"You're definitely a spectator." She winks and pats my chest before turning around and continuing with her seductive little moves.
Well fuck.
I'll definitely be busting at the seams within the next half hour if she keeps this up.
••••••
Rayne ~~
Harry and Tate talked for about fifteen minutes tops. Shorter than I expected.
I kept my eye on him the whole time though. Waiting for him to finish and see if he'd come over to me. My chest inflated with excitement when he finally did start making his way over, and I quickly pretended I had no idea by shutting my eyes and feeling the music through my body.
I could feel his eyes on me as I moved, and it made me feel a foreign surge of physical confidence burst through my veins. All because I knew he was doing his prominent eye fucking. That's really the best way to describe how he looks at me sometimes.
When I finally do open my eyes to look at him, I find that I was right. Eye fucking.
"You come to dance or spectate?" I tease with a cheeky grin.
He bites his lip and smirks at me in return. "What do you think?"
My eyes squint and I pretend to be thoroughly processing my answer. "Hmmm." I check him out shamelessly before replying. "You're definitely a spectator."
And with that I wink and give him a little pat on his chest between his pectoral muscles before turning around and continuing to dance.
I just know that turned him on. It did me too for some reason.
My thoughts are confirmed when I feel a pair of long ring clad fingers grasp my hips and squeeze.
"Such a tease. Always getting me rock hard and doing nothing about it." His breath fans against my ear and neck, making me shiver despite the heat surrounding us.
I turn my head just enough to where we can make eye contact over my shoulder. "Who would I be if I wasn't a tease Styles baby?" Throwing the new nickname I'll for sure start calling him constantly was the cherry on top of that question.
His eyes immediately darken and his jaw clenches, his grip on my waist going even tighter.
He's so easy to rile up.
(*)
A new song comes on, one I've heard before and actually have taken a liking to.
"Mmmm, I know. And for that, you're gonna dance for me. Sweetheart." He bites my earlobe after whispering the nickname into my ear. More shivers going down my spine.
I turn completely around to face him, seeing the signature smirk on his face. "And how would you like me to dance for you?"
I know teasing him even more right now probably isn't a good idea. But I think everyone knows I never make good choices.
"I'm going to go sit on that couch over there." He gestures with his head and eyes behind him to the long red sectional couch lining the wall behind us. "You're gonna stay right here and continue to dance. Right in my line of sight. But the moment I gesture for you to come to me, I expect cooperation. Understand?"
Usually I'd hate to be dominated this way. To be told what to do. But I've yet to see this side of him with me, and the little she devil inside of me is dying to play with it.
"Yes sir." I say before leaning into his face and licking his cheek.
I feel his jaw clench even harder beneath my tongue, and when I pull back he looks to be almost glaring at me. But I know he's not angry, just aroused.
I think I hear him growl at me, and it makes me bat my eyes like I'm all innocent or some shit. Lord knows I'm far from it. I know Harry knows that too.
When we pull away and he walks over to the couch he spoke of, I start swaying my hips slowly and seductively to the beat. It's the perfect song to dance like this to, too.
My little medicine man takes his seat on the couch and finds my body instantly. His eyes rake all over it, not missing an inch as I keep my own eyes on him as well.
To really get him going, I start swinging my hips side to side at a slow pace while kneeling towards the floor. Seeing his reaction to this was enough to give me even more confidence to do something a little riskier.
As I slowly make my way back up into a straight standing position, hands running all over my body as I do so, I bring them to the upper sleeves of my black leather jacket.
The one thing covering my back in its entirety.
I pull them down just slightly, enough to expose the tops of my shoulders, but not enough to expose any scarring.
When I look at him to gauge his reaction, he's got his lips parted and his dark jade eyes on the freshly exposed skin. I watch him lick his lips, and I start rolling my shoulders slowly, biting my lip and lolling my head back as I do so.
I let my jacket hang freely off the base of my shoulders and continue running my hands up and down my curves. This makes him place his large hands on his thighs and rub them hard before gripping them.
He then reaches up and pulls on the layer of clothing that covers his crotch area. Adjusting himself.
God why did that just give him big dick energy?
My dancing halts when I see his index finger of the hand he just adjusted himself with gesture me over.
I almost skip like a child over the ten feet of distance to reach him because I'm so excited. But instead of doing that I keep it cool and pretend to be unaffected by his sexiness.
I slowly and gracefully walk over to his sitting position, and when I'm standing between his legs he wastes no time to yank me down and grab my thighs to have me straddle his lap. His hands hold my hips and my arms drape over his shoulders.
"Move baby." He says sternly, making me bite my lip again and nod.
He keeps me pressed onto him, allowing me to feel how erect he is. And just by the feeling of him pressed into my most sensitive area, I can just tell he's packed.
Holy mother of hell.
I whimper at the friction as I start rolling myself on him. His eyes close for a brief moment, and I hear him groan. Which makes me speed up just a little faster, wanting more.
It almost does me all the way in when I feel him push his clothed crotch up towards me. More friction created from it. I loll my head back and moan, not caring about our surroundings or who can see us.
I've been dying to feel him like this. In any kind of way. Maybe not full blown sex, but something like this. I'm still not ready for that yet. A girl can have thoughts though.
My hips continue to roll and rub myself against him, and we both moan and groan. My noise level only heightens when I already feel myself soaking through my panties, and I'm certain that it's starting to get on his jeans.
When I look down at him I see him switching his gaze back and forth between my face and where we're grinding together, and it feels so erotic.
I bring my head back down to rest on his shoulder. "Harry, this feels so fucking good." My voice sounds almost weak as I pant into his ear.
His hands find their way to my ass and squeeze. But when I feel a familiar slap, not as hard as what I've dealt with before, I jolt in surprise but not in pain or worry. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-," I cut him off instantly.
"No, it's ok. I liked it." I lean down and peck his lips to reassure him, and his slightly worried expression turns right back to his dark aroused one.
He nods, and then uses his other hand to smack my other cheek, making me jolt again but this time I moan in pleasure.
"Fuck sakes Rayne the things you're doing to me." He groans and moves me faster on his lap, making me whimper uncontrollably.
I haven't felt good like this in my entire life. And it's all because of Harry.
"You've got no idea baby." I moan a reply.
I hear him growl again before moving to stand up with me attached to him still. "Let's go. Now." He says to me.
Oh shit.
••••••
We make it through the door much to my surprise after twenty minutes straight of us pausing through the hallway downstairs and up here. We kept slamming each other into any nearby walls so we could attach our lips together.
I didn't think we'd ever make it up here.
But when we finally made it through his huge sliding penthouse door, Harry became an animal.
He was grunting and groaning and occasionally growling as he devoured my lips and neck with his own. He currently had me to the right of the door and against the wall with my legs around his hips, like the first time we kissed.
I feel him push himself into me, and although we discussed for a brief second that I wasn't ready to have sex, he assured me that he understood and had other plans for me tonight.
The feeling of him pressing into me like that makes me moan as I feel him lick and suck on the skin around my collarbones.
I lost count of how many hickeys he's given me so far though.
"Harry....please." My voice is almost a whisper as the tingly feeling on my skin from his touch starts to make me impatient.
He moans into my neck before pulling away. "I know baby. I'm getting there." His smirk makes its appearance again before he's devouring my lips again while pulling us away from the wall.
I don't know how he doesn't trip as he blindly maneuvers us through his penthouse and into his bedroom area.
The moment I feel him detach me from his body and toss me in the air I let out a startled yelp that cuts off when my back hits the mattress. He smiles at me as I giggle playfully, and I can't help but admire his beautiful features. So sharp and prominent.
Kinda like his bulge that I've been incapable of not gawking at since I first saw it.
"See something you like sweetheart?" My eyes flicker up to his after he speaks, seeing his eyebrow raised in a cocky expression.
I nod my head. "Mhmm. I'm just thinking about how I personally believe you radiate big dick energy. I was thinking that downstairs too." My statements and actions tonight have been quite bold.
His other eyebrow raises with the other at that. "You're on a roll with these comments Ms. Hunter."
I can't help but smile even wider. "I know. What are you gonna do about that?"
His eyebrows drop and I didn't know it was possible for his eyes to get any darker, but they do. Before I can react he leans down and grabs my ankles that are still wrapped up in my black stilettos and pulls me down to the edge of the bed. He drops my ankles so now my torso and ass are the only thing on the bed and my legs are dangled off the edge.
I watch with feral eyes as he drops to his knees on the ground, already in a vulnerable position with me. But I know he's also about to have me feeling the most vulnerable in a few minutes.
I sit up on my elbows so I have a better view of his face, and when I see the look on it I almost melt. He's staring between my legs again with his eyes hungry and bottom lip between his teeth. Just like before when he had me laying on top of the bar just an hour earlier.
"I've had a taste of your lips. And they're delicious. But my mouth has been watering just thinking about how you'll taste here." His finger runs up my thigh and then softly brushes down my clothed core, making me instantly shudder and sigh.
I watch as he pushes the bottom of my dress up my thighs and past my hips, exposing just the right amount of skin for him to do his work.
When he's done with that he grazes his fingertips down my hips and legs very slowly, teasing me. As he reaches my ankles, he grabs them and lifts them both up and onto his shoulders.
"I'm keeping these on, very sexy." He taps my black heels and then kisses the skin that peaks through from the straps.
My stomach clenches in desire when he moves forward making my ankles slide down his back, my calves following suit. He's now less than a foot away from my core, so close that if I was bare I'm sure I'd be able to feel his breath hit the sensitive area.
My breathing freezes when he leans his head down between my legs and does the most sexy and erotic thing I've ever seen with my own eyes. His lips find the part of my hip bone that's clothed in my panties, and he grabs the material with his teeth.
I feel a small nick at the skin and it makes me flinch and whimper at the small tingling feeling that shoots through me.
He pulls my underwear down with his teeth, and when one side reaches upper thigh, he moves to the other side and repeats the action. By the time he's done both sides the middle part has pulled away from my core and I feel a slight cool wave of air hit the area making me shiver again.
Once both sides of my panties reach upper thigh, he then hooks his teeth onto the middle part and pulls it down as far as his current position will let him. His hands move up to hold my hips as he leans back in his knelt position, making my calves and ankles slide back up on his back to rest on his shoulders again. He then stops with my underwear at my knees.
His next move is bringing his hands to my ankles and using them to push my legs towards me. Bending them enough for him to grab one side of my panties and pull them the rest of the way off my body, off one leg at a time.
The cool air on my sensitive areas is something I haven't felt in forever.
But something I surprisingly just realized is that this is the one thing I've never done before. He had me do any and everything possible sexually, but he never did this to me. And I'm so happy he didn't.
"Har-Harry. I just realized something." I breathlessly decide to tell him what's on my mind so he'll know how new this will be for me. And how happy I am that he'll be the first to give me this experience.
After he tosses my underwear to the side he looks back up at me on the bed. "What is it baby? Do you want me to stop? If you're not ready it's ok. I don't want to push you."
His kind words make me smile. "No, trust me I'm ready. I want this. I just remembered that this is the one thing I've never experienced before. He..." I pause and clear my throat. "He made me do everything to him and made me take anything he did to me. But not once did he pleasure me this way. Not that I wanted him to. I just wanted you to know that this is new for me, and I'm happy to experience a first with you." I don't miss the clench of his jaw at the mention of him.
Well damn I had to go and get all deep and soft. Now he's probably thinking I ruined the frisky mood.
But when he smiles that big dimpled smile after hearing my confession, any doubt I had dissolves from mind.
"You have no idea how honored I am to be your first with this Rayne. I'm dying now, to show you how things like this are meant for pleasure. Not pain." His lips kiss the inside of my knee in a pause. "Baby you deserve to feel amazing. And I'm happy to be the one to make it happen."
When tears prick my eyes at his words, I bite my lip to hold them back. That'll really ruin the moment. Instead I nod my head and then lay back on the bed completely.
I'll still be able to see him when I look down, just not as well. And I'll probably have a double chin and look ugly when he looks up at me but oh well.
I feel him slide down closer to my core again, and this time I can feel his breath fan against the area. It makes me gasp slightly.
His lips make me jolt when I feel them press against my left inner thigh. The feeling of his tongue poking out and drawing up towards my heat, only to stop right on my groin, has me squirming. He does the same to the other side, and I can only handle so much torture.
"Harry, please. Please. Kiss me." My voice is a pathetic whine, but I could care less. I need him to pleasure me. More than I've ever needed anything else.
"I'm really gonna drive you mad now, madwoman."
I sense the tease in his voice, but I barely have time to react to it before I finally feel the sensation of his mouth pressing against my clit. He does it ever so lightly, kissing it so gently like it'll break if he's rough. But I know that was merely just a front because before I know it he's nibbling on it.
The gesture makes me tense and arch my back at the sudden pleasure that shoots through my veins. "Oh my god." I moan out.
My words and sounds must've switched something inside of him. Because he no longer is gentle. He starts attacking my clit with his lips and tongue.
He sucks, licks, nibbles, and repeats. And his huge palm comes up to press down onto my lower stomach, holding me in place.
This is already so unlike anything I've ever experienced. I've never been handled this way before. The only thing I've felt is nausea and pain during these experiences. I was used for someone else's pleasure, I was never given any. But I also didn't want anything from him.
Next thing I know he's plunging his tongue between my folds. Curling it up into me and making me gasp and whine out it euphoria. His tongue must be long as hell too because I feel the tip of it grazing the spongy part inside of me that makes me twitch each time he makes contact with it.
Harry buries his tongue as deep as it can go inside of me, not letting up on his pace either. He pulls it out of me briefly, just to mumble out a question. "You like that baby girl?"
His voice is raspier, and it makes my lower region clench.
"God yes. Yes." I moan even louder when he dives back to my clit, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud of nerves.
If he's this good with his tongue, I wonder how good he is at other stuff.
I'm thrown off in the most pleasant way possible when I feel two of his ring clad fingers plunge into me, making me gasp and whine.
"Fuck yes, Harry. Oh my god." I shamelessly pant his name along with several cursed profanities, stimulated by the pleasure he's giving me.
His tongue detaches from my clit so he can lean up and watch my reactions to his fingers. Fingers that are making my stomach twist and the knot in the area start to tighten.
He curls his fingers back towards him as he thrusts them inward at the same time. The movement is enough to make me clench around him uncontrollably.
"You're so fucking tight. Clenching around just two like that. How would you feel about this then?" Before I can register his question, a third intrusion makes its debut. He adds a third finger, and my walls are so tight around him now that it almost hurts. But not enough to bother me.
His thrusts become harder, not giving me much time to adjust. And it's perfectly fine with me because it feels heavenly.
Just when I didn't think it could possibly get any better, I watch him dip his head down and start lapping at my clit again. His three fingers plunge into me over and over again as his magic tongue flattens on my sensitive nerves. A pleasurable shock shoots through me, and I almost scream at how good it makes me feel.
"Oh I wanna hear that again baby. But I want it louder." He suddenly starts curling the three fingers inside of me, hitting my g-spot every time he moves them, all while sucking on my clit.
The combo has me writhing and moaning so uncontrollably I probably look like I'm having spasms.
His sucking becomes harsher, and the pressure of the tight knot in my lower abdomen starts building so rapidly I know I'm going to burst soon.
"Harry, Harry, I think I'm close. Oh god I think I'm close." My eyes pinch shut and I feel blood start to draw from my bottom lip because I'm biting down so hard.
Harry lifts his head up to talk again with a sexy raspy voice. "That's right, cum for me. Don't you dare hold back. Let yourself go. All the way baby."
His words encourage my body, making it obey his commands like always. The knot it my stomach finally bursts, and when it does I can't control the loud scream that rips through me. It sounds like someone being murdered.
My legs start shaking and I feel myself clenching and spasming around his three fingers. It's like a consecutive twitch in my lower region, and each time it happens it sends incredible euphoric pleasure through my veins.
His tongue and fingers continue their work at a slower pace, aiding me to ride out my high. Harry then retracts his fingers from me only to replace them with his tongue, licking me clean.
Each time he runs his tongue along my folds and clit to clean me, I flinch from the sensitivity of my aftermath.
I hear him moan as he does this, kinda like he's been starving for days and is finally getting his well deserved meal.
When his head pulls back, even in the dark lighting, I can see his chin and lips glistening with my orgasm.
He licks his lips, tasting my juices on them. His eyes close and he hums in satisfaction. "Delicious." He rasps.
My chest is moving up and down rapidly and I'm still trying to calm down after the best orgasm of my life when he bends down to pick my underwear up from the floor.
My body feels weak, and Harry must know this because he does all the work in putting them back on with no complaint. One leg at a time he aids me, as I just lay there helpless. He lifts my hips from the bed to help slide them back on completely, but before they are put back in place he kisses my pubic bone, then comes up and pecks my lips. Giving me goosebumps and butterflies.
Once he's done that he pulls my dress back down over my thighs and then plops down next to me on the bed.
He's fairly quiet, and although he seemed satisfied doing all the work, I still wonder if he wants something in return. Most guys do. And I like to believe I'm pretty good at some things, I just hate thinking about how I got so good at them.
But the moment I open my mouth to ask he's already speaking.
"You can't stay." His voice is a mumble, and I almost don't hear it.
Or at least I don't think I did. Not clearly anyway, because there's no way he just said that to me.
I sit up from my laying position and my vision stars from how quickly I did so. "I'm sorry, what?" I just have to double check.
He sits up slower than I did and places his elbows on his knees. He puts his hands together and rubs them back in forth with his head down.
"I...um-uh." He clears his throat and keeps rubbing his hands together like he's nervous or some shit.
"Don't fucking stutter. Tell me I didn't hear that correctly." I can feel the slight uncomfortable hurt pang in my chest. It makes me furious. I stand up from the bed and turn my body to face his.
He looks up at me, and I see a look of discomfort in his eyes.
Ok, what the fuck is his problem? Is my presence that bad?
I raise my eyebrows and cross my arms, signaling for him to explain.
He sighs and closes his eyes, now looking full of regret. "I said you can't stay. The night I mean."
The hurt and confusion churns my stomach in the worst way possible. "I wasn't planning to actually. But thanks for being an asshole anyway though."
I turn around and make sure I have my phone on me as I walk to the front door so I don't have to come back, ignoring his call of my name.
I don't even care if I'm being dramatic. After what I just trusted him enough to do to me, him booting me like this hurts and embarrasses me.
Two things I hate to feel. I already wasn't planning on staying, but the way he was so quick to tell me makes me absolutely livid.
"Rayne wait. Please, let me explain." I hear him call from behind me again.
I'm so angry I could hit him, but the part of me that finally can admit to liking him wants to hear his explanation.
I stop in my tracks and turn around just as he reaches me and almost runs right smack into me.
"You're a dick. A fucking bastard. After what I just trusted you with you do this to me?" I shove his chest once before continuing.
"I wasn't going to stay anyway but you really made sure I got the memo not even five minutes after you give me the best sexual experience of my life. Believe it or not but that was actually kind of a big deal to me. Finally something I could experience in that category that he didn't force me to feel or do. And it was so fucking amazing. You made me feel the best I ever have in my life, and then you kick me out right after. I'm surprised by how hurt I fucking am. It's sickening me." I seethe my rant at him, not caring if I said too much.
I'm just so angry.
"Rayne just le-,"
"Fuck you." I cut him off. I'm not really being fair but I don't give a shit. "I hate you."
I don't really mean it, but I always say hurtful things when I'm upset. But then a thought crosses my mind that makes me glare even harder at him.
His eyes watch my face anger even more, and his eyes widen slightly like he's preparing for another snap. And it's sure as hell coming.
"Oh my god." I reach forward and shove him again. "Did you fucking just use me? For your own sick pleasure or something?" I know that doesn't really make sense because I'm the one who got off, but I have to ask.
His features drop like that was a smack to his face. "I would never fucking do that to you Rayne. You know that." He glares at me almost the same way I'm glaring at him.
"I don't know that." My voice and face become deadpanned as I start backing up towards the door again.
He watches the movement with panicked eyes. "No wait, please let me explain. Please." His hands come up like he's trying to stop me from doing something crazy.
The only reason I do stop is because the look in his eyes seems genuine. And also because I really want to believe there's a damn good reason behind this.
Maybe it'll hurt less then.
My jaw is clenched so tight it hurts, but I nod my head at him anyway.
His hand runs through his curls and he sighs in what seems like relief. "Thank you. Now first thing, you have to understand that I did not use you what so ever. I would absolutely never do you like that. I know tonight was different for you, for me too. I've never done that for a girl and then stopped after. I always fuck them, I always want something out of it in return for my own damn pleasure. But I did that specifically for you. For your pleasure. I wanted to make you feel good. That's the only motive behind that."
He looks at me with studious eyes, watching my reaction to his words. Part of the humiliation and hurt dissipates at that confession. I actually believe him for some reason on that part.
I take a deep breath and nod again for him to continue.
"Secondly, there is a good reason behind why I told you that you couldn't stay. I know I shouldn't have said it so soon and bluntly. But I panicked. I don't know why I said it like that and I instantly regretted it. But trust me, you wouldn't want to stay anyway. Even if what happens didn't worry me so much. I just really need you to believe me when I say I'm not doing it for my own sake, but for yours."
His words only confuse me even more.
What does he mean if it didn't worry him so much? What worries him?
"I'm sorry. I'm lost. What the hell are you talking about?" I probably look so stupid right now. I certainly feel that way.
He sighs and shakes his head. "I can't tell you. I've never told anyone about it. No one has a clue. But I've never had anyone stay overnight. Anyone. And believe me, I know you're not everyone. I know that. But me not allowing anyone to stay the night is not by choice. Just please trust me on that. I would really like for you to stay, but you just can't."
He's pleading with me to believe and trust him on this. And I can't help but do so. Harry is not the type of person to beg and plead with someone to believe him about something. Or to beg and plead in general. He does what he wants and people oblige him period. No questions asked. He never has to worry about begging.
But this is clearly something he's passionate about keeping secret. And we never push each other for answers. Ever. Nothing will change that. We tell each other when we're ready, and I would be a hypocrite to scold him for keeping things from me. His secret seems just as big as the one I keep from the world too.
So because of that, I ignore any confusion, anger, and hurt I felt. It's not worth it. He's not doing this to hurt me, he's doing it to protect me from something. And I'm going to trust him on this. It shocks me, but I'm always on the edge of my seat with Harry. That's why I enjoy his presence so much.
He seems to be trying to read my thoughts with how hard he's staring at me. But instead of saying anything, I walk the two steps over to him and bring my lips to his.
He seems surprised at first, definitely not expecting this from me. But then he sighs into the kiss and releases the tension in his body.
His hands hesitantly hover next to my face, like he doesn't know whether or not I'd let him touch me right now. But the moment I grab his hands and place them on my cheeks he sighs again.
I'm hoping my kiss tells him everything I'm thinking. There's too much to say, so I put the emotion behind this instead.
When I finally pull away, I look into his beautiful emerald eyes. "I'm trusting you. And I believe you. I'm sorry for being a bitch."
His eyebrows furrow. "You weren't being a bitch. You were hurt, and it's okay to be hurt. I'm sorry for making you feel that way." He kisses me again, but it's just a quick double peck.
"I understand. My only issue is how many vulgar names I called you. Jesus Christ." I joke to try and lighten the mood.
When he chuckles and shakes his head while looking down, I mentally applaud myself.
When we both get quiet again, we stare at each other for a moment longer. The mood getting serious again.
Even in the dark, I can still see so many emotions behind his eyes. I wish I could read his mind. Know what he feels and thinks.
But after what he says next, I feel like taking a trip inside his mind would fuck me up in so many different ways.
"I'm so damaged Rayne. So fucking damaged." His soft voice is contradicting to his usual deep accent, and the pain behind it because of that statement stirs something unknown inside me.
"Listen to me." I grab his face in my hands the way he always does to me. It always comforts me, so I try it with him. "You're not alone with that feeling. I understand. But you know what I think?"
He raises his eyebrows for me to continue, showing he doesn't plan on trying to guess what I think. It would be too damn hard probably. And vice versa.
"I think," I pause to stroke my thumbs across his cheeks. "That damaged people are dangerous....because they know how to make Hell feel like home. And that's gotta be the greatest strength of all. Don't you agree?"
His lips part and his eyes widen a little at my words. Almost like they hit home somewhere inside him. I have no idea where they came from, but obviously they were important if I didn't even have to think too hard before saying them. They just came to me and I voiced them. Something I usually don't do.
"I think you're my new favorite person in the entire world. Damaged or not." He confesses with a small smile.
I can't help but grin at him. "I'm your favorite madwoman huh?"
His smile deepens as he nods, dimples making an appearance. "My madwoman."
And with that he leans down to give me one final heart clenching kiss to end the night.
••••••
Awww, kinda cuteee. I love them. Ship them. Adore them. Everything.
Is it bad that I'm already thinking of a ship name? Or is it bad that I haven't already thought of one?
It would either be Hayne or Rarry. Both sound stupid so I don't know. Unless y'all think they sound decent? Whatever.
Anyway, any theories on why Harry doesn't allow people to sleep over?
Could it be something that has to do with him not wanting people to see him actually sleep?
What if he doesn't sleep at all?
Maybe he be doing some crazy stuff at night?
Maybe he's secretly a nighttime stripper?
Maybe he performs freaky rituals at 3am?
Who knows. Let me know what you think though.
Thanks for reading!!
P.s. this concludes the two part Blood Out chapters. What did you think of the first smut scene? It'll get better, I promise you.
<3.