(Eighteenth chapter)
You can do this, you got it.
Sowon repeated those words like a chant, breathing in and out whilst tapping her chest to assure her fast-beating heart not to be nervous.
With one swift movement, she pushed the doors of the paradise café and automatically her eyes seemed to search for a person with raven black hair and sun-kissed skin. A timid smile appeared on her lips as she took meek steps towards the table where he was seated.
"Hey."
Hoseok looked up at the voice, his face showing a wide range of emotions especially surprise and uneasiness as he attempted to smile at her.
"Hey Sowon, you are here."
She nodded, "Yes I am here Hoseok. Did you not expect me to come?"
Hoseok immediately laughed, trying to ease the anxious tension of air around them. Sowon internally sighed, relieved that at least he tried not to make things odd between them, unlike someone.
"What do you want to have?"
Sowon seated herself and looked up the menu, almost gasping as she realized how costly each dish and drink was. She leaned in a little closer and whispered, "I think we should leave."
"Why?" His eyebrows suddenly perked up in confusion as he glanced around the café before leaning in closer.
"Is there...something bothering you?"
Sowon gulped, embarrassed to say how she was tight on money because she was fired a few days back and could hardly afford anything on the menu without literally borrowing money from her parents.
"Um actually, the food doesn't look too good and is unnecessarily costly so-"
He sighed before giving her a tired smile, "Don't worry about the bill Sowon and order whatever you want."
This reminds me of the time when I went to have dinner with Namjoon.
Sowon almost screamed but internally shook her head, shocked at herself why she was even thinking of the rude jerk instead of enjoying the moment.
She bit her lip, still in embarrassment and timidly nodded. Though she didn't want to be indebted to him, she was sure to pay him back later. Also, she was quite hungry right now so why waste this chance right?
When the waiter appeared, Hoseok allowed her to order first.
"I'll order a strawberry milkshake and mixed sandwich with extra cheese."
The waiter nodded, jotting down the list of food while turning to the other male.
He smiled, "I would like a cup of Americano with two shots please."
The waiter nodded his head like a bird again, "That's all sir?"
"Yes."
With the answer, the waiter went off to prepare and bring forth the food his customers had ordered while Sowon looked at Hoseok with immense surprise.
"That's your lunch?"
"Yeah, I don't like to eat much. Work is stressful anyway."
"You are a doctor, shouldn't you take care of yourself first before treating others?"
Hoseok shook his head and Sowon sighed, both worried and more embarrassed because she didn't expect her good friend to be so unhealthy and also, she had ordered a good amount of food for herself.
She glanced at him and noticed how tired he looked, heavy bags under his eye and his posture were slighted hunched, showing the tension in his shoulder and back muscles.
Was being a doctor so hard? She asked herself and as if he heard her, Hoseok's eye locked with hers. For a good minute, both of them openly admired one another and anticipated how the future would work for them.
Sowon gulped when she noticed how intense his stare was beginning to get, traces of obscurity and yearning started to burn through his pupils. She looked away, unable to bear the tension any longer.
When she heard his sigh, she knew it was time to break the ice and take the courage to speak it out.
"Hoseok."
His eyes flickered back to hers but now it was only the rough exhaustion and plead to answer his question.
"I have something to tell you."
He sat up straight, trying to keep it cool and nodded, "What is it?"
"The question you asked no...proposed to me last time, I have the answer now."
The tension of uncertainty and mixed feelings was overwhelming to the extent Hoseok had to clutch the table cloth, knowing that the answer would have a heavy toll on him.
Sowon tried to calm her frantically beating heart as she took a deep breath and clamped her hands together on her lap.
Many things swirled into her mind as she tried to speak out what was in her heart. But oddly, she only remembered her parents and the promise she made to them, Haneul's voice to not do anything stupid and even Namjoon and her peculiar bickering every day.
It was like the wind supply was cut off her as Sowon tried to gasp for air and swallowed the dry saliva in her mouth.
I have to do this.
"S-So, what is it?" Hoseok's shaky voice brings her out of her reverie or rather memories as she cleared her throat and decided to just say it.
"The answer is-"
"The answer is that she is already engaged to me and sadly cannot marry you so better back off."
Gasping at the too-familiar voice Sowon slowly looked up with dread to see him standing in front of their table with a menacing glare directed at Hoseok.
She stood up, the chair scraping on the tiles with screeching noise but she couldn't care because everything felt like a dream at the moment.
"N-Namjoon?" She stuttered out, still in horror.
He turned to give her a hard stare, "Yes it's me Kim Namjoon, your fianceé."
"Excuse me but who are you and why are you claiming to be Sowon's fianceé?"
A seated Hoseok stood up as well, his face red with rage as he glared at the person who ruined his special moment with the girl he loved.
Namjoon gave a humourless chuckle, "You didn't tell him yet?"
"Tell me what?" Hoseok repeated.
Sowon looked in between them, feeling like a movie scene was being telecast but unfortunately it was her own life, turning upside down. By now she was sure everyone around was watching them argue like a drama.
Namjoon's eyes never left Sowon and noticing how stiff she was, Hoseok too glanced at her.
"Tell me what Sowon? What am I missing out here?"
If this was karma, it was revoltingly dreadful and nothing compared to Sowon losing her job. What was she supposed to say now?
"I think he asked you something Sowon?" Namjoon asked like he was innocent which angered her.
She stuttered out helplessly, "I-I-"
"Actually our parents decided to let us get married so here we are, a happy couple!"
Namjoon's sarcasm was too hard to miss and Hoseok glared harder at him, finding him too annoying. He turned his attention to Sowon again,
"Answer me Sowon, what nonsense is he spewing?"
When nothing came out of her mouth, Hoseok felt like he was backstabbed by the only person he never expected to. He stepped closer, pushing away Namjoon's hand in an attempt to stop him as he grabbed both her shoulders.
"Sowon," She bit her lips, unable to keep in the warm tears which brimmed her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she continued staring down at the floor and realised how hurt he sounded.
"Please tell me that this is not true, that this guy is crazy and you are not going to marry him right?"
"I-I am sorry Hoseok I didn't-"
He scoffed and freed her from his grasp in disbelief. "So you mean this shit is actually true? Did you mean to hurt me like this the whole time?"
Sowon finally took the courage to look up and instantly regretted it because the amount of pain she saw in his eyes was too much to hold.
"Hoseok believe me. I never meant to keep this away from you b-but I had to! I just needed some time before I..."
"Before you rejected me right?"
She stood still, knowing that her decision had indeed brought in a storm she never saw coming.
"I knew that I didn't have much chance but couldn't you have done this better?"
"I am so sorry-"
"Sorry? Why are you sorry when I stirred your heart? Why are you sorry when I loved you Sowon? I just- you gave me so much hope that it hurts so much now."
She attempted to reach out and grab Hoseok's hand to comfort him and apologise as he looked away but another hand grabbed her arm and she glared at Namjoon who was still standing beside her.
"Let's go."
"No, I am not done yet-" Sowon started protesting but stopped when Hoseok shook his head, sniffing.
"But I am done with you Sowon."
If life gave her lemons, it was squeezing it into her eyes right now because when Hoseok looked up she felt her eyes burn again, her breathing stopped as she realised something she never wanted to.
Hoseok was crying.
The first time he cried was when he lost his parents in an accident and never cried after that. He was just known to be a cheerful boy but who knew he had so much pain inside?
Who knew that Sowon would see him cry again and all, because of her stupidness. Wiping his tear-filled eyes, he gave her a final glance or rather, a goodbye before walking out of the quiet café.
Sowon was not sure what to feel that moment as she felt herself being pulled away towards somewhere she didn't know. She was too tired to fight back and knew that her actions were reckless.
She regretted her decision and might never try to do it again.
A/N: What are your thoughts about this chapter? Don't forget to tell me ;)