-Ariana's POV-
She nods and goes to get the test. Her face as she approaches me doesn't give me anything to go on «Ariana it says that --
- You're pregnant» right the second she said it this feeling like my whole world where falling apart around me came like a wave...
«i.... I.... I cant be... no.... Thats wrong.... This cant be happening» I stutter out wile tears where rolling down my face as I pace around my bedroom. «The test is wrong. No... I'm not pregnant I cant be... no... I just cant believe it... its not happening its just a glitch in the test... yeah thats what it is a glitch.. Its all wrong»
Sasha walks up to me, wrapping her arms tight around me «calm down. Its a chance the test is wrong. Honestly I don't believe that so I cant really say it is. But what I do need to say is that we need to go to the doctor to confirm it.» she rubs my back wile she talks
«I think you should tell Sean»
My body stiffen Sean... «no we cant tell him. No.. Not until we have been to the doctor. I just need to process this for myself... I just cant.. You need to promise not to tell a soul about this.»
«Ariana I don't know if thats a good idea. I think Sean would of wanted to be there when you found out for sure. What if the doctor say something is wrong, you'll need Sean there for support.»
«No... please you haft to promise me. Ill promise to tell him after but I just cant if I don't even know...»
«Okay... I promise»
*** Later ***
We had called the doctor right away and he told us to drive straight down so he could run some tests. This is nerve wracking. Thank god Sasha came with me! This is not something I could handle on my own...
«Miss Grande? We are ready for you now» a assistant called out and we followed her. First she gave me a cup I had to pee in so they could take their kind of pregnancy test. Then we where showed into another room.
After about 5minutes a doctor to «cheek me out» «hi you must be miss Ariana Grande right?» he shook my hand and I nod «I'm doctor Herman I will take good care of you, don't worry.»
He looks over at Sasha «is this your spouse?»
«No. Thats my friend. My.... My... boyfriend isn't here today.» my boyfriends whereabouts is not something I really want to discuss.
Dr. Herman signals for me to lay down on this bench thing so he could take an ultrasound. «Lets see here miss Grande. You're definitely not pregnant. But if you've been having symptoms I'm worried you could be overworked and not eating enough.»
It was like a huge weight was lifted of my shoulders «so I'm not pregnant?»
«No you're not»
Don't get me wrong one day I would like to have a baby but I'm just not there yet. Not in a place for any of that.
Me and Sasha leaves the doctors office and get into the car. Neither of us have said a word in what seems like forever. «Sasha can you please say something?»
«I... I don't know what to say cause I don't know how you feel about this. This is probably a good thing because of your job and his job but this also has to be a wake up call for you. Protection is needed always! No idea why you didn't use it, maybe you like feeling him better but thats not a risk thats okay to take. Sry Ariana but it was reckless, think about what would of happened if you where pregnant!» as she spoke she got more heated and I honestly just got hurt.
«Wow Sasha how sensitive of you. I just was almost pregnant and you're telling me how I was in the wrong. What a nice thing to do»
She rolls her eyes «no Ariana you don't get to do that. You don't get to pin this on someone else cause you're confused. And I know part of you wanted to have him say you are pregnant. But you don't get to take it out on me or anyone. Its your actions Ariana.» she kinda half snapped at me and I was totally taken back by it.
A couple tears rolled down my face and I could see she felt bad «I'm sorry Ariana, I shouldn't have said that. Its just... you've always been so cearfull with everything... how could you let this slip?»
«Its okay. As hard as it is to hear you're right. I was reckless we both where, not thinking about the consequences. And not to be to graphic here but I remember the moment he released inside of me I was kinda whatever with it... but I shouldn't have been. I should have taken a test right when I started feeling symptoms.. We where just in the moment and I just.. I felt so free»
She sighs and look over at me with an understanding smile «i get it. You're finally really happy and out of a toxic situation. So feeling free and pushing the limits makes you existed. But you gotta be more cearful. But now I'm going to drop you off at Sean's place and you're going to tell him»
«But why? Im not pregnant, no need to worry him about it» also part of me really didn't want to have that convo as we really haven't talked about having kids much.
«Ariana. We both know he needs to know. Its only fair you tell him. He deserves to know about this»
I sigh knowing no matter what I said she was right. Even tho its my body he has a right to know what almost happened. And looking back at it part of me feels so guilty for not taking Sean with me to the appointment and taking the test with him. He will probably be so hurt that I didn't include him in this and I'm kinda scared of how he will react.
Ariana - hi baby. You home? I need to talk to you
Think he already was by his phone cause he answered 30seconds later.
Sean - hi love. Im home, come on over. Something wrong?
Ariana - ill be over in 2min. Mm define wrong. Just something I need to tell you
Its not really something wrong as I'm not pregnant, nor am I terminally ill... I just had a pregnancy scare thats all.. No big fuzz.
**
Moments later we arrive at Sean's place. Sasha just drops me off and gives me a quick lecture on how I need to tell him no matter if I want or not. She may also have mentioned something about if I didn't tell him she would... so I really don't have a choice as getting news like that from my friend isn't exactly ideal... so... gotta just suck it up even to its not a big deal..
«Sean?!» I call for him when I get inside. «In here baby!» comes from the living room.
As I walk in I spot him sitting on the couch watching TV. After I greet him with a soft kiss I sit down besides him but turn so we are facing each other.
«You seem tense baby girl. Whats going on?» he turned off the TV to give me his full attention.
For a second I contemplain not saying anything but then I remember what Sasha said... «i.... I.... I took a pregnancy test this morning»
His face kinda lit up and signaled for me to go on so I did «the test came out positive... so I went to the doctor to get it cheeked out..»
the smile that had come to his face turned into a frown «you went to the doctor without me?» now it came.. What I kinda had been fearing would... he was genuinely hurt....
«Sorry I didn't tell you but can you just let me finish...» he nods «but the doctor said I'm not pregnant. The test did a glitch.. It happens from time to time...»
Now he kinda looked confused «what about all the trowing up and mood swings.. I trough that was signs...»
No.... He didn't.... «You knew I might be pregnant this whole time and didn't tell me? Didn't even bother to ask me!» I snapped at him
«Whoa calm down Ariana... you seemed like you didn't want to talk about it I'm sorry... I didn't but...» I cut him off before he finished «of course I would of if you asked me! I felt like I was all alone! Terrified of what might happen!»
«Im sorry okay! I was freaking out as well. Its not all about you» he threw his arms up in the air.
Silent tears rolled down my face as I stand up «maybe not. But its my body!... I cant do this right now... bye Sean»
As I try to leave he grabs my wrist but cearfully so he didn't hurt me «no Ariana. We need to talk about this. You don't get to do that, push it away. Im sorry okay? It was not cool... but you don't get to push me away cause you don't want to deal with it.»
By now I was sobbing and he pulled me into his lap as I cried into his chest. «We are fine Ariana. Calm down. Its okay.» I could sense he was choosing his words cearfully not knowing what my feelings about it may be..
«We cant tell anyone» I say in between sobs «keep it tight between us so it doesn't get leaked. Only Sasha knows other than us... I want to keep it that way»
He is rubbing my back with his hands holding me close «if thats what you want then we'll do that. No pressure. Its nobodies business but ours anyway.»
«Promise?»
«Promise. Anything for you.»
****
As the night went on I texted my mom saying I would be staying here tonight and me and Sean made our way up to his room. All giggly as we always are. But this time part of me was kinda scared. Like where we going to do anything?
Sean lay me down on top of the comforter and hover over me, straddling my hips kinda. Leaning down he peeked my lips before starting to kiss down my neck, his hands making their way down to the hem of my shirt.
Panic strikes me and I push him off me leaving him looking hurt. «Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Im so sorry!» he babels over and over again as I start to cry again. «Please don't cry Ariana. Im sorry!»
«Its nothing you did» I say in between sobs «I'm scared to have sex again. I just can't»
His look softened and he pulled me into his arms comfortingly «baby girl. Why didn't you just tell me. Its okay I get it. We'll just sleep.»
Am I selfish for not doing it? Or whatever? I mean he doesn't deserve to get «cut off» just cause I'm scared. Its a kinky situation but I'm just... so lost..
This day have been a hell of a ride. Like one of the scary once at an amusement park, like six flags or something. Just like one of the big rollercoasters that take you on a scary ride. Thats what my day have been like. Scary.. Sharp turns... just like a rollercoaster....
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