Chapter 30
Axel
Katie linked her arm to mine and led me away from the crowd.
"So, when are you gonna ditch the tramp?" Her mouth, so close to my ear. I groaned.
"Only two more dates, babe."
She bit my earlobe lightly, sending shivers down my spine.
I moved away a little, "Not here. Someone might see us." My eyes roamed around the area to check if anyone's nearby.
"Does it really matter?"
"Of course, it does." I pointed out, her big puppy eyes staring at me. "All our efforts would go to shit if word got out."
"There's no press inside. It's their word against ours." She pressed her body to mine, supple and tender. God, this woman is testing me. I grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her away from me at an arms-length.
"We shouldn't do this."
"Are you serious?"
"It's too risky." I hissed. "Lauren is here."
"Then let's go to the bathroom." She led me to the women's restroom.
"Stop."
"What now?"
"She might go the bathroom."
"Then where will we go?"
My eyes wandered to the adjacent door, "Let's go to the gents."
"Ew," she gave me a side-eye. "But fine."
"I'll go first." I entered the men's room to check if there's anyone inside.
"All clear," I said to Katie and she entered, not giving a flying fuck if anyone saw us.
Her lips crashed into mine immediately, my head almost hit the wall. She removed my suit and threw it behind her, falling on the sink. She got me cornered to the wall, assuming dominance. I battled with my tongue, like swords sparring for a fencing championship.
Something doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the dominance thing.
I moved her near the sink and parted her thighs with my knees. But there's still something in the back of my throat that I can't explain why or how.
I continued kissing her, hoping it'll fade. She guided my hand up her thigh through the slip of her dress as she continued to consume my lips. Her smooth skin becoming rough from the bumps of shivers.
I moved my hand away from her, not even knowing why. I felt her brows knit together as she put my hand back up her thigh. I retracted again. Goddamnit, what's the matter with you, James? Her eyes flew open and she pushed me away, creating a space between us. Her expression confused and disbelieved.
She turned away from me, looking at the floor, "I can't believe this."
"What?"
"Why..." the word fell from her lips, not even a question.
"Why what?"
She advanced to me, her lips snarling, "You're fucking falling for her."
I scoffed, "Are you hearing yourself? I'm not." I moved towards the mirror and adjusted my now-crooked tie.
She walked towards me as I pulled out a tissue to wipe the lipstick off my mouth. I can see her face through the mirror, stern and daring.
"Prove it."
"I don't have to prove anything to you." I tossed the dirty tissue on the can.
"I'm your girlfriend."
"We broke up."
"For show!" she almost shouted. She grabbed me by the collar, forcing me to face her. "Are you fucking telling me that we're done? Because we are not done, James, not until I say so." her stares shooting daggers through my head and she had that same crazy look in her eye like the one she had in a set when we were 17. Her Dad had to put her in a Center and it took her a little over a year to recover. My jaw clenched at thought of her relapsing because of me.
I gulped a lump on my throat, "Of course not, babe."
Her eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, God, I've missed you so much."
She looked up at me, waiting for a reply. "I've missed you too," I replied hesitantly.
"Hm..." she snuggled her face to my chest.
Great, I can't wait to see the transferred foundation on my shirt.
She looked up again with her puppy dog eyes, "Make out with me on the sink, babe."
"I don't think we should make out on the sink," I replied.
"Why?"
"I think we should stop this now."
"What do you mean? No one's around."
"We're still on a break. Our plan isn't finished yet. We shouldn't."
Her lips curve into a sneer, "Fine, then I will tell the world about your little girlfriend cooking the books. She's an Accountant, right? One call to the IRS and she'll easily be under investigation. Of course, little miss innocent would be arrested for... I don't know 2, 3 months? Could be tax fraud or embezzlement? I don't know. What I do know is that it will give me enough time to cook for her."
I chuckled, "That's not gonna happen." I turned towards the door.
"Or better yet," she said just as my hand touched the cold knob of the door. "I could out the real reason she quit her old job," she continued.
My hand froze on the doorknob.
My lips twitched. "What do you mean?"
I turned around, seeing the satisfaction in her eyes that were screaming 'gotcha'.
I walked towards her and my eyes skimmed her movements, "You don't know what you're talking about."
She frowned like a dog trying to be cute, "Don't I?" she inched closer to me, "Hm..." she spread her palms on my chest "Maybe I don't." then pushed me a little. She turned to the sink and reapplied her lipstick then looked at me through the mirror, "I just heard that she slept with higher management and everyone in the office found out."
I felt my teeth grind against each other. "How did you know that?"
"Please," she smacked her lips together. "You're not the only one with a Private Investigator." She plopped her lipstick back in her purse.
"Those are just rumors."
She turned to face me, "And I'm sure it wouldn't matter." She smirked, "You know how the media operates, Axel. They're always hungry for the juicy goss. And now that you've successfully entangled her name with yours, I'm one call away to give the juiciest information they would feast in and your little harlot would be jobless."
"Don't call her that." I sneered.
Her brows raised, "Good God, you've turned into mush. I didn't believe it at first but seeing it firsthand is quite an experience. Hm... And you know what's funny? Who would want to hire her after that? I mean, I may not know everything about professional ethics, but I know that such a scandal could have her license revoked." She smiled, shaking her head, "Imagine not being able to practice what you're still paying for in student debt." She shrugged, "Oh well, if it helps my uncle works on the Board."
"You filthy bitch."
She scoffed, "Language, James."
"You're bluffing. You wouldn't."
She put a hand to her chest, feigning hurt, "Oh, you wound me. Truly. I thought you knew me by now." She smirked. "Now..." she stood straight, "you could either take me on this sink or well... Your choice."
I know how Katie operates and she is merciless. That's why we're meant for each other.
Now, I could easily leave Katie and let Lauren face the consequences but something is gnawing in my gut that can't let her lose her license. That's too much damage. Even for me.
I'm fucking her up but I don't want others to fuck her up.
That's how fucked up I am.
Katie stared at me with one eyebrow raised, waiting for my decision.
What the hell. It's not like I'll lose something. Might as well enjoy it.
I took her waist and set her on the counter. She squealed, maybe with glee or lust, or both? Doesn't really matter.
My hands skimmed slowly up her thighs, just the way she liked it. I heard her muffled moans on my mouth and something about it brings me to the tipping point. She gasped to take a short breath, spreading her hands on my chest then takes my mouth again.
I heard the door creak, "The door," I said against her mouth.
"It's nothing."
"I'm sorry," a voice said.
My eyes opened for half a second and Lauren's face is in the mirror, mouth half-open in disbelief. I ceased the kiss and turned to see if it was really her.
Oh, God...
"Lauren?"
I watched as the door closed behind her, mouth open in shock. My feet were glued to the floor and I can't bring myself to move.
She gave a slight nod and walked out of the bathroom.
Shit.
"Lauren." I followed her.
"Babe!" Katie called after me, the door slamming before her.
"Lauren, let me explain." I jogged as she stopped in her tracks.
"God, I just wanted a cold water, not a cold shower," she murmured, looking down at the floor.
"What do you mean?" I grabbed her arm but she jerked it off immediately.
"Don't touch me," she said, disgust written all over her face.
I gulped the lump in my throat, "I deserve that."
"Ha! You deserve that?" Her eyes were wild and her mouth opened to say something, but she can't seem to make up words for how she feels. Her hands trembled as if fighting the urge to go berserk. "What?" her hands are now in fists and for a second, I thought she was gonna hit me, but she put them to her side and looked me in the eye, "What was the one thing I asked of you?"
Guilt rising on my chest, I moved my lips, but no words came out.
"One simple thing?"
Goddamnit. This isn't how it's supposed to go.
I breathed, "That I stay with you throughout the event."
"And what did you do? Play hooky with your ex-girlfriend?"
My jaw clenched, "But you let me come with her."
This wouldn't have happened if she played her part. Try to be the possessive date, every once in a while.
"So, this is my fault?"
Shit.
I walked near her to try to calm her down.
"No." she put her hand up, creating a barrier. A protective barrier from me.
"How daft can you be?" Katie said from my back.
Goddamnit, Katie. This isn't the time.
But I quickly remembered how she has bullets on Lauren. I can't make the mistake of giving her the gun.
"Excuse me? I don't really want to talk to you right now." Lauren sneered.
"I thought Accountants were supposed to be smart? Well, there's always rut in the litter."
Shut up, Katie.
"It's the runt of the litter, you buffoon."
"Whatever. At least, I wasn't fool enough to not realize that Axel orchestrated everything."
Shit.
"What?"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"That's right. The paparazzi. All of it. And you thought he was protecting you."
Holy mother of God.
"So cute. Everything he told you was a lie." Katie continued.
"Is that true?" Lauren asked, her eyes searching for answers.
Fuck. I want to tell her everything but I can't. Not now.
"Why would you do that?" she demanded.
"Because he's fucked in the head," Katie said.
She's right.
"I'm not talking to you." Lauren replied then she looked down, unable to look me in the eye, "What about that story about your Mom?"
"The teen mom and the orphan child?" Katie snorted. "Haven't you watched The Gate? His first feature film when he was 7?"
Katie needs to shut the fuck up.
Lauren turned to me, eyes finally meeting mine, "Is it true?" her voice cracked and it pulled something inside me, my stomach uneasy.
Katie raised her brows and her lips curved distastefully as if saying I dare you.
This is it. I'm cornered at the ring.
I kept a straight face, held my head high but looked at the end of the hallway, unable to look at Lauren. "I told you, it was a game and I'm winning."
It was a game and I'm losing. If I haven't lost already.
Lauren held her breath and a tear rolled down her cheek.
Fuck, I can't take this.
But I have to.
You're an actor, right? Act your way through this, you dumb fuck. This is all your fault.
I kept a straight face, like I'm a concrete statue, like I have no care in the world.
"I gotta get out of here," Lauren said then she walked away, getting smaller and smaller as she reached the end of the hallway, but the look on her face haunted me as she disappeared out of my sight.
The silence that soon after followed was deafening. There were music and chatter but my ears were static. The clicking of high heels next to me seemed like a mile away.
Katie wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head on my shoulder as I stood frozen.
All I can think of was Lauren's disappointed face, knowing I was the cause of that.
Play by play it goes.
A fat drop of tear.
The realization of betrayal.
A single nod followed by footsteps away from me.
Oh God, what did I do?
I walked free of Katie's hold.
"Axel, where are you going?"
I kept walking, zeroing out on the end of the hallway.
"Axel? Axel!" Katie said, exasperated. "You can't escape me."
I looked left and right, eyes roaming everywhere to look for Lauren.
Then I saw her unmistakable black dress with gold detailing, walking at the end of another hall with another man. My fists balled.
My pace quickened as I tried to follow her.
"Axel, there you are!"
"Mia." I looked behind her and saw the two of them take the exit.
Damn it.
"You're looking for something?"
"What?" I looked back at my sister. "No. Nothing."
Her brows knit together, "It doesn't look like nothing to me."
Always the nosy Amelia. Such a busybody.
"What do you need?"
"Well, nice to see you too, brother. Mom and Dad were looking for you."
"I was here before all of you arrived. Who's even late to their own party?" I walked towards the open bar.
Mia scoffed. "You're in a mood."
"Barkeep! Scotch."
"Where's your date anyway?"
A glass of scotch was put in front of me. I took it all in one drink. My sister's brow raised in judgment, just like she always does. I placed the empty glass on the bar, the distinct sound of glass hitting marble palpable in my ears. "She left."
"Ah... So, you fucked up."
"Why do you always assume that?"
Her brows rose.
"But yeah, I did." I raised my glass to the bartender for a refill.
She let out a loud exhale.
I scoffed, "Don't let me interrupt your deep sighs. Oh, but seriously, you need to up your catering game. The service is getting slower and slower. Barkeep!"
"This is a Charity Gala for Orphans, Teen Moms, and Wildlife. Not for the Axel James cause." Her eyes rolled. "Morpheus, you're not a child anymore.",
"Oh no, not the middle name."
She gave an unappreciative stare, "Love isn't a game."
"Who said anything about love?"
"The point is, you can't keep on treating people like they're pawns."
"How about prawns then?"
"Oh God," she said, infuriated.
I laughed.
"You're impossible." She continued.
"You love me anyway."
"Yeah, well, it's not like I have a choice."
I saw Gavin walking towards us at the corner of my eye, "Oh, look, it's Cornelius."
He grimaced, "What did I do now?"
"Claudette, here, called me by my middle name. I thought we're calling each other that now."
"Oh, well I don't need to know the details. I already know you're in trouble. Or orchestrated trouble. Either way, I don't care."
I puffed out an air. So much for a brother.
"Anyhow," Gavin turned to Mia. "I'm looking for your husband."
"What's with my brothers not knowing how to properly greet people?" Mia murmured in gritted teeth. "Hunter's with Dad, try to find them near the ballroom."
"Hey, I'm sorry. It's about the hotel. Nice dress, by the way. I'll see you guys later." He kissed Mia on the cheek and bumped his fist on my shoulder then walked away.
"Why is he always on the run?" I asked.
"When is he not?" Mia replied, shaking her head.
* * *
The night dragged on and I'm still the family disappointment, as I always was. Drunk by the bar as my father gives his speech about charity and giving back to the community and blah blah blah. At least that's what I heard.
Katie left me a note, hand-delivered by a server in a black vest.
The glass reflected on the black glossy finish of the bar as I put the scotch down to open the note.
"This game is far from done, Axel. Play your cards right. If you still can. -K"
I looked around for her then my eyes stopped at the main door where she's standing, looking my way, obviously waiting for me to find her. She smirked then held her head high as she walked out into the red carpet. The flashes dimmed by the door closing after her.
I looked at the piece of cardboard in my hand again. I flipped it over to see the black card with an engraved K in the middle, leafed with gold. How does she have these on the ready? Does she blackmail people regularly?
I was about to throw the card away but despite all of the alcohol flowing in my blood, I thought of how this could be evidence in the future. Not that I want to make this a bigger case than it is but, you know, just in case.
I looked around and noticed that the party has now dwindled out save for my family, huddled in the middle, thanking guests as they leave.
The bartender poured me another scotch with disdain on his face.
"What are you looking at? Never seen anyone look this miserable?"
"No, Sir. I'm sorry. I'm just tired."
"Tired? This is your job. You don't have the right to be tired."
"I'm sorry, Mr. James. I'm just going through a rough patch right now."
"Going through a rough patch? You know who's going through a rough patch? Me! Did you hear me say I was tired?"
"No, Sir. But I don't drink my problems away."
"What did you say?"
"I'd rather not repeat it, Sir. Clearly, you heard me the first time." He turned his back to me. "Asshole." He murmured.
"What did you say?" I stood from the bar, my fists ready to meet his face.
"Is there a problem here?" My mother's voice, soft yet stern and warning.
I brought my balled fist behind my back and stretched out my fingers, my jaw clenching, "Nothing, Mother. Absolutely nothing."
"Very well, then." With a wave of her hand, she dismissed the bartender out of sight. She brought herself closer to me, head to my ear, "Why don't you retire early? You've been a mess all night."
"Wouldn't you want me to join you in thanking the guests goodbye?" I dared.
"I'd rather not, son. You've already scared your date away. I wouldn't push my luck."
"How did –"
"I have eyes and ears everywhere." She tugged my arm, "I know what happened and what you did to that poor girl." She shook her head, "I'm disappointed in you, Axel. I didn't raise a son like that." She let go of my arm and walked away from me.
My throat felt like it was closing up as I watch her leave. My vision blurring with tears. I want to breakdown then and there but I shouldn't. I wouldn't. I'm a grown-ass man and I don't want to appear like some weak shit in public.
I looked around to see if anyone had seen what just happened, then looked down to floor where my eyes won't be seen. I walked to the back exit and ordered for my car.
I've never fit in to proper decorum despite being raised in a society where decorum is everything.
Don't fuck up in front of everyone. Secrets are secrets for a reason. Keep it all under wraps. Smile and keep your opinions to yourself.
It's all hypocrisy. You have to look perfect even when you're miserable. Even when everyone around you is just the same – all just portraying to be perfect and happy. That right there groomed me into being a pretty damn good actor. I was living the role for as far as I can remember that I can't remember what it's like to be myself.
A tear fell on my cheek and I immediately wiped it off, looking around, hoping nobody noticed.
"Axel? Axel!" Mia burst out of the door. "What do you think you're doing?" She walked to me as the door closed behind her.
"Mia, I don't need another lecture," I replied then Gavin emerged from the door. "Oh, not you too."
The valet arrived with my car. Gavin swiped the keys before me, "Oh, no, you're not driving yourself home."
"I didn't ask for your opinion."
"Hey," Mia took my arms. "Look at me." Her palms on my face, forcing me to look at her. I just looked away. "I know Mom can be harsh sometimes."
"Sometimes." Gavin snorted.
"Not helping, Gav," Mia warned.
"What? It's the truth. You cannot tell me not to tell the truth."
"Even then. She's our Mother and no matter how much the judgment hurts, we have to remember that she's been through a lot."
I looked at Mia with hurt in my eyes, "That's just it, Mia. Of all people, she should know." I looked up and focused on the trees, trying to keep the tears at bay.
I would not cry.
"I know. But every person copes differently. Say, help me understand what happened tonight." She rubbed my shoulders.
The movie played in my head – every scene starred Lauren's face. The horror when she saw Katie and I in a compromising position, the betrayal when Katie told half-truths, the disappointment when I said it was all a game.
I shook my head slowly, begrudgingly. "I lost her." My voice broke as did the waterworks.
"Oh." Mia wrapped her arms around me.
"She's different, you know," I said in between sobs. "And I fucked up, just like I always do."
"That you did."
"Gavin!" Our sister scolded as she continued to rub my back in an attempt to soothe me.
I shook my head, commanding the tears away. "No. Gavin's right. Lauren is different. With her, everything is light and easy. I forget myself and yet I can be myself when I'm around her."
"Oh, my," Mia retreated, one hand covered her mouth while the other rested on her chest.
Gavin raised a brow, "Oh my, indeed."
I held my head up like a drowning person desperate for air. "This night's a mess."
Mia and Gavin looked at each other, having an understanding without words.
Gav walked towards me and flung his arm around my shoulders, "Come on, brother, let's get you home."