8 hours later.
8 hours of hysterical crying.
8 hours of pounding hearts.
8 hours of excruciatingly awkward silences.
But when that 8 hours was up.
I was free.
Free from the burden of my lies.
Free from the shackles my life had placed on me.
I'd told Joel everything.
With a minor break when we arrived home as I had to lug my stuff inside and get settled
8 hours seems like a lot, but most of it was spent crying.
From both Joel and I.
The story itself only took around 2 hours, the remainder that wasn't crying, was spent talking through everything.
It felt like a weight off my soul.
This fight was far from over, but I had hope, hope for something better.
I had no idea when that was, but it helped me push on.
The bright light at the end of the tunnel finally felt within reach.
I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, my head resting on Joels lap as he played with my hair, humming softly.
My fingers knot my shirt as I let out a content sigh, perfectly happy to forget about all my problems to love in this one moment.
Sadly all good things come to an end.
And my rude awakening comes in the form of my phone almost vibrating off the coffee table.
I reach forward and see Sebastians name on the screen, share a frustrated glance with Joel, before I answer it.
"Hello?"
"Oh. Lizzie?"
I raise my eyebrows, "you called me, who else would it be."
"Nothing I just thought." He pauses, and I hear a voice in the background, a feminine voice, "when did your plane land." I hear him swallow.
Between him and Carlisle I am seriously considering throwing my phone away.
Speaking of Carlisle I definitely needed to figure out what the hell was going on with him.
"I missed my first flight, and I got in this morning at about 10."
"Oh you- you missed your flight?"
"That's what I said."
"That explains it."
"Explains what?"
"Nothing!" His voice raises and I hold the phone away at the sudden noise.
"Not that this isn't a highly enjoyable conversation. But I told you, I don't want to speak to you anymore."
"Yeah. Sorry, I just..." he trails off.
"Sebastian whats going on?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" The squeaky pitch shows that he's lying.
I'm about to press him further, but I decide that I simply don't care anymore, "okay, well I'm going to go now. And please, don't call me again."
"Oh don't worry. I won't."
Then he ends it.
I lower the phone, staring at it in confusion.
His parting words echo in my brain.
The harsh tone, with, almost anger bubbling up.
"Liz? What's wrong."
"That was so weird."
"He's not the most normal guy."
I laugh, lying back down.
I can hear Joel's heart beating in his chest, steadily. It's calming.
We haven't finished our conversation, while I may have told him everything, we never actually got to the conversation of us which I think scares me more then when I told him everything else.
I don't think I can handle him breaking things off.
We may be sitting comfy now, but what if with some thought he decides that he doesn't want a marriage, hell even a relationship, with someone carrying this much baggage.
That's why, I never ask.
For now, at least for now, I will take this weird limbo of almost lovey but not quite state we're in.
Better that then facing the reality.
"I need to call Carlisle." I murmur out loud, "he's sent me about a thousand texts, he's got this weird thing about Sebastian."
"I don't blame him." Joel snorts, "the guy kissed you knowing everything else that was happening, and even despite that, he's creepy."
"Mhmm." I feel my eyes dropping, the jet lag catching up with me, "I'll call him later."
I silence my phone and let it fall to the ground, letting the warmth of my environment take me over.
Not thinking about Carlisle, or Sebastian, or the scourge, or Katia, or Charlotte, or even school.
My mind fully present on my surroundings, and my heart finally feeling like it can heal.
And it's with that, I slowly drift off to sleep.
The peace is short, fleetingly short, agonisingly short.
This time, it's not my phone that disturbs me.
I wake up to a loud crashing, my fast movement as I shoot up from my position on the sofa waking Joel up quickly.
"What the hell was that." I say, too afraid to look around.
Joel rubs his eyes, "are you sure you aren't hearing things."
"No, I definitely heard that, it was loud, like something breaking."
"I'll take a look, just let me wake up first."
I can't bring myself to move, something tells me that this is wrong, something is rooting me with fear.
Joel yawns once, checking his watch.
We'd only been napping for about an hour, and it was currently 10PM.
The whole day had passed, a whole day of talking, crying, and sleeping.
And now this.
I don't move from the sofa as Joel stands up, looking around.
Nothing in the living room looks changed, so he walks into the kitchen.
"HOLY SHIT."
Sheer terror takes over me, and I bolt to his side.
He's standing at the door, looking at the window that overlooks our driveway.
Or what used to be our window, but is now shattered, the glass decorating the white marble flooring.
My entire body is shaking, completely overwhelmed, scared and confused as to why the window had broken like this.
Then I spot it, lying on the floor directly beneath the window, was a red brick, now harmless, but it wasn't the brick that made me so afraid, it was the yellow post it sitting on top.
I slowly walk towards it, the glass sticking to my feet and cutting my soles, but I can't bring myself to care.
I hear Joel protesting and trying to grab me back, hissing as he accidentally steps on a shard.
My hand extends down to the brick, seemingly of its own accord as my brain is spinning in my head.
Lifting it at eye level, I feel my heart drop.
In crude handwriting is the very sign that this is not over, that I can't escape this, that I was foolish to believe I could be happy for a moment.
Even just a moment.
You can run, but you can't hide.