№60|No Thanks For The Memories (Part 4)
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Ayame stood completely still, watching as her memories swarmed around her like a tornado. She crouched down, clenching the side of her head. Ayame quickly shook her head, enduring the tuants from her memories. “Shut up!” She hollered, their taunts continued. “I-I’m not like that any-anymore!”
“You’re always gonna be the weak little pup!” Her father’s voice echoed through the memory pool.
“Sh-Shut up!” Ayame roared, her eyes beaming a bright orange as the memories scattered away, finally being an end to the taunting.
Lawrence watched in shock, his mate –meer feet from him– sobbed harder as she bowed her head. Gripping the strands of the side of her hair. “Shut up… shut up… shut up…” She muttered, her tears staining her jeans. “I’ve changed… I-I’ve changed…” her voice getting unsure with every word she said.
“Ayame?” Lawrence whispered, inching closer towards the Indian wolf.
“Law-Lawrence…” She sniffled, her puffy eyes gazing into his soft brown eyes.
The British kneeled down beside her. “It’s alright…” he rested his hand on her forearm. “It’s just me and you… this is what the memory pool does to people, it shows them their worst memories till they crack under the pressure.” Lawrence lifted up her chin. “I know you’re stronger than this stupid pool.”
“You put too much faith in me…” Ayame muttered. “After all the shit I did to you, how could you trust me?”
“Ayame,” Lawrence cupped her cheek, “yes you’ve cheated on me twice, any normal person would’ve ran for the hills right now.”
“Then why haven’t you?” Ayame scoffed, turning away from the British wolf.
“Because I trust in you, Ayame.” He intertwined his fingers with her shaky digits. “I know that even though you’ve cheated on me, you always come back to me.”
“Cause I’m an idiot.” Ayame growled, clenching her fist.
“No, you’re not.” Lawrence replied, cupping her cheeks once more. “If you didn’t love me, you wouldn’t come back to me. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t take you back.”
“Why did you even take me back?” Ayame pushed him away, tuning on her heels on him.
“Because I love-”
“Don't give me that shit!” Ayame snapped sneering at the wolf. “I want an exact reason why you’re with someone like me!”
“You want a reason?” Lawrence asked, his eyes never leaving Ayame’s.
“Yeah, I do!” Ayame replied with a growl.
“You really want a reason?!” Lawrence asked once more.
“I told you, yes I do!” Ayame stomped her foot on the floor.
“Because you and I have been through everything together!” Lawrence advanced towards the Indian wolf. “Thick, thin, hot, cold, day, night, easy, and hard – we’ve done it all, Ayame!”
“You need someone who isn’t gonna cheat on you!” Ayame scolded.
“When will you let that go?! You know I don't blame you for what happened.” Lawrence reminded her.
“That’s the problem! The day I told you about Kirkland why didn’t you scream at me? Why didn’t you slam the door in my face when I came back to the room that night?” Ayame exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “Why haven’t you dropped me yet?!”
“Because I love you!” Lawrence gripped her shoulder. “Ayame, I’ve forgiven you for cheating, however I won’t forgive you for putting yourself down when you’re an amazing person!”
“Amazing? Lawrence I-”
“If you said you cheated on me one more time, Ayame, so help me gods…” Lawrence groaned, raking his fingers down his face. “Ayame,” he sighed, taking her hands in his, “this isn’t about me forgiving you for cheating, this is about you forgiving yourself.”
Ayame looked down at her hands, feeling the soft tenderness of his skin. “I promised to stay faithful… to you and only you…”
“When did you sleep with Kirkland? Last year, right?” He asked, gaining a nod from his life partner.
“That means for one full year you’ve been faithful to only me, that sounds like cause for celebration!” Lawrence smiled, since the place was just memories, Lawrence summoned a memory of a cupcake. Mere seconds later, a cupcake appeared in his hand.
“From now on, every year you’re faithful to me, we’ll have a little party.” Lawrence stated, passing the cupcake to Ayame. “Happy 1 year Faithful.”
“Are you serious?” Ayame chuckled, looking into Lawrence’s eyes to see he was stone cold serious. “Okay, I’m game.” She blew out the candle, the worry of Lawrence resenting her for cheating flowing away with the embers.
“Good, no matter what they throw at us here. I know we won't crack. You’re strong that this – we’re stronger than this.” Lawrence assured her, holding tightly onto her hand.
Ayame nodded as her memories began to play, her heart broke when she realized what memory this was.
The ten year old Ayame gazed out the window at the stars that shone above the Banik Pack in Delhi, India. They shimmered like diamonds as they danced along the sky.
An exhausted sigh escaped her lips, resting her head on arms. Wind kissed her cheeks as the windmill perched on her window spun, it’s bright colors shining in the night. She watched as owls flew across the sky, hooting as they flew freely.
Ah, to be free. To flow with the wind just like flowers that danced in the garden. To soar through the skies like the owls. To have no strings tied to anyone one or anything. To see exciting people, places, and things.
All of which Ayame yearned to feel. Ayame and her twin brother Alistair may look like normal wolves on the outside, but with a closer look, one could see that the two were prisoners of their own pack.
Their mother and father strongly believed in barring anything that was remotely fun. If it didn’t involve hunting, getting stronger, and getting smarter, Alistair and Ayame couldn’t do it.
Hell, the two wolves couldn’t even step foot outside the pack in fear of their parents' fiery wrath.
Ayame sighed once more, tracing circles on her window seal. “Alistair.” She said, turning towards her twin brother who was spread out on his bed. She rolled her eyes, walking over to him to shake him awake. “Alistair!”
“What…” Alistair groaned, turning away from his sister. “I’m tired, behan (sister).”
“Bhai (brother),” Ayame sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at her small feet, “do you ever wonder what the outside world is like?”
“What do you mean?” Alistair rubbed his eyes, sitting up beside Ayame.
“The world outside the pack lines… what do you think it’s like?” Ayame asked once more.
“I bet that they have flying cars.” Alistair fell back onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah! Flying cars, robots, all that stuff!”
“Do you think wolves on the outside world are free?” Ayame questioned, laying beside her brother. “Do you think they can leave their packs, explore, and come back home?”
Alistair turned towards her. “Maybe. Do you think people in the outside world are nice?”
“Well, Auntie Saanvi says they're nice.” Ayame shrugged. “Bhai (brother), do you ever want to… want to run away?”
“Run away?” Alistair eyes widened. “Mom and dad would have our heads!”
“But think of how much fun it’ll be!” Ayame cheered, her eyes sparkling in the pale moonlight.
“Where would we go?” Alistair asked. “We have no clue of what the outside world is like.”
“Then we’ll find out once we get there. Come on, Bhai (brother), mom and dad have kept us under these strict rules all our life! Let’s explore, live, see new things!” She cupped her brother’s hands, pleading with him.
“I don't know, Ayame…” Alistair bit his lip, contemplating the decision. “You know Mom and Dad have security everywhere.”
“You’re right…” Ayame muttered, pressing her lips together. “Maybe Auntie Saanvi might help?”
“Aunt Saanvi? How can she help?” Alistair questioned, raising an eyebrow at his twin.
“She knows a lot of packs on the outside, plus, she hates mom and dad so she’ll help us get out!” Ayame explained, grabbing his brother’s hand as the two snuck down to the weapons room.
“Auntie Saanvi?” Alistair whispered, inching towards the woman hunched over her desk, fixing a weapon.
“What are you two doing up right now? You know your parents are gonna kill you.” Saanvi warned, helping the twins up onto her desk. “Are you here for another lesson?”
Saanvi was the one who taught Alistair and Ayame how to make and fix weapons. While their parents frowned upon such things, Saanvi always made time to secretly teach the kids her skills.
It wasn’t only weapons, Saanvi was the twins' outlet to the outside world. When Saanvi would return from her missions, she would always bring a piece of the place she visited back home to the twins.
“No, Auntie Saanvi, we were wondering if you could take us with you when you go on your next mission?” Ayame requested, looking up at her aunt with hopeful eyes.
“Look, I love you two a lot.” Saanvi placed down the weapon she was holding. “But I love my life even more, and if your parents find out I’m sneaking you out they’d kill me.”
“Please Auntie!” Alistair begged, cupping her hands. “We can’t stay here anymore.”
“I know living under your parents’ rules is hard, it’s got two itching to get out and explore.” The twins nodded their head, letting Saanvi continue. “But taking y'all out of the pack would end up causing a lot of trouble.”
“But-”
“Ayame,” Saanvi sighed, stroking her cheek, “you know I love you and your brother but I can’t take you. You’re parents – especially your mom – want to make sure you have no contact with the outside world whatsoever.”
“Why though?” Alistair groaned, running his fingers down his face.
“Because they’re traditional as heck. They think that the pack is superior to those in the outside world. She couldn’t be more wrong though.” Saanvi rose from her chair, walking over to the shelf to pull down a sword. “Kids, do you know what this is?”
“That’s Demon Claw.” Ayame replied. “Mom says that Nani (mother’s mom) gave that to her, why do you have it?”
“Because she didn’t give it to Chaaya, she gave it to me.” Saanvi explained, placing it in front of the twins. “Nani said it’s passed down to the eldest daughter, which would be me, not Chaaya.”
“Then how did mom have it for so long?” Alistair questioned.
“How do you think?” Saanvi scoffed, grimacing at the thought of her sister. “The bitch stole it from me, she thinks she’s ‘entitled’ to the sword. That little brat. Ever since she became Head Beta she thinks she’s better than everyone else.” Saanvi unsheathed the sword, letting the twins witness it’s everlasting beauty as it shimmered in the light.
Ayame was completely entranced, she couldn’t take her eyes off the sword. “Woah…” she muttered in astonishment, reaching her tiny hands out for it.
Saanvi chuckled at the small girl’s shocked expression. “Wanna hold it?”
Ayame nodded ergerly, jumping down from the table. She assumed the proper position as Saanvi stood behind her, placing Ayame’s dominant hand on the top of the hilt. “Okay, so with a sword like Demon Claw you need to use two hands.”
Ayame nodded, feeling the weight of the sword. Saanvi chuckled, “give it time, it’ll adjust to it’s new Mistress.”
“But this is your sword.” Ayame reminded her, looking up at her aunt with wide eyes.
“The sword chooses when it’s time to move on, and since you’re the next female in our family name, you get the sword.” Saanvi explained, taping her nose. “You will soon wield this like the great warrior you are destined to be.” She placed Ayame’s other hand on the pommel, soon backing away.
Alistair gave his sister a thumbs up. “You look like Wonder Woman!” He cheered, earning a chuckle from Ayame.
“She is kinda like a little Wonder Woman.” Saanvi smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Your Nani (mom’s mother) would be so proud.”
“You think so?” Ayame blushed slightly.
“Of course she would, she always wanted you to be the next holder after me.” Saanvi patted her shoulder. “You’re gonna make a wonderful Huntress-”
“Over my dead body!” Chaaya scolded, all eyes turned towards her at the doorway.
“Mom! I-I-... um…” Ayame stammered to explain, yelping when her mother hardly gripped her wrist, causing Demon Claw to tumble to the ground.
“What are you doing with that thing?! You know my policy on weapons, you runt!” Chaaya flung her into the wall, weapons from the shelf she threw her into came tumbling down.
“Ayame!” Alistair cried out, quickly shifting into his wolf form to shield Ayame from the weapons. “Are you alright?” He whispered, earning a nod from his twin.
“You two know I don't allow you to use weapons or leave your room after curfew!” Ishaan growled at the two pups.
“You never let us do anything!” Alistair growled back at him, getting ready to attack. “We can’t even breathe without you two scolding us!”
“Children need to learn how to obey their parents.” Ishaan hissed, kicking Alistair to the side, clutching Ayame’s brown locks.
“Put her down!” Saanvi yelled, fighting against the hold her younger sister had on her.
“Know your place, Huntress!” Chaaya glared at her older sister, picking up the famed Demon Claw. The sword began to shake, flying out of Chaaya’s hand and towards Ayame. Clipping Ishaan’s wrist along the way, the father dropped the young pup before safely resting in Ayame’s arms.
“That damn hunk of junk clipped me!” Ishaan hissed, turning towards Ayame as she rushed to her brother’s side.
“Are you alight?” She whimpered, hugging her brother tightly. The boy didn’t say a word, blood dripping down from the side of his head. “Alistair! Alistair get up!” Ayame shook him violently, in hopes of getting her twin to wake.
“You’re coming with me!” Ishaan tore her away from her beloved twin brother, attempting to hold her back.
“Alistair!!” Ayame cried out, reaching out for her dear brother as his unconscious body slumped down the rubble. “Alistair!! GET UP!!”
Alistair watched through lidded eyes as his sister was dragged away in tears. Raising a shaky hand out towards her, he whispered. “Ayame… don't… cry…” blood dribbled down his lips as a harthy cough erupted through his body. “I promise… you’ll never… cry again… never again… Behan (sister).”
Tears streamed down Ayame’s cheeks as the memory faded away. She crushed the cupcake in her hands, the pink icing sinking through her fingers like sand. “I didn’t see him for days after…” Her eyes beamed a bright orange, tears still heavily flowing down her face. “I thought he was dead! I thought those monsters we used to call parents would kill us!”
“I knew I should’ve killed them when they came to the pack…” Lawrence sighed, shaking his head. “Don't worry, crumpet, they won't be in your life anymore.”
“I can’t believe I went as long as I did without killing them.” Ayame rested her hand on her temple. “Once we get out of here… we’re no longer speaking to my parents. Neither will they go anywhere near Baylen.” She whimpered at the thought of her child. “Do you think Baylen’s okay?”
“Our poppet (child) is strong.” Lawrence assured her, kissing her clenched fist. “Don't worry, we’ll be back with her soon.”
“I hope she doesn't resent us for leaving her so sudden…” Ayame muttered.
Lawrence shook his head. “She won't resent us, that I’m sure of.”
“So.” Ayame sighed, releasing her nerves with it. “What do you think it’ll show you?”
Lawrence noticed another memory appearing, this time it was from Lawrence’s memories. A lump grew in his chest, painful memories flooding back into his mind. “Why this one…”
Robin rested her head on Grant's chest, drawing small circles along his pec. It’s been almost half a year since Robin and Lawrence arrived at the pack, the two couldn’t be happier.
Grant peaked open one of his eyes, smiling at his mate. “What are you doing up this early?”
“I know it’s been half a year, but sometimes I think this is all a dream I’ll soon wake up from all this. Yet every morning,” she wrapped her arms around him, “I still wake up with you next to me.”
Robin giggled as Grant flipped her under him, patting his chest lightly. “Shh! We have to be quiet, Lawrence is in the next room.”
“I bet he isn’t even awake yet.” Grant assured her, fluttering kisses over her neck. “You’ve been working with Luna all week, let me have a little time with my mate.”
Robin pulled him down, tasting the sweetness of his lips. “Did someone miss me?”
“I miss you everytime you leave my arms.” Grant smiled, stroking her cheek. “Robin, do you ever… Do you ever think about Xavier?”
“Why would I think about that monster when I have my prince right here?” Robin replied, kissing his cheek. “Are you worried your fair maiden will go back to the monster again?”
“A little…” Grant muttered.
“Don't be.” Robin brought him in for a hug. “Your fair maiden isn’t going anywhere.”
“Is that so?” Grant ran his hands down her hips. “Since you aren’t going anywhere for a while.”
“Oh?” Robin smirked. “What are we gonna do about that, my prince?”
“I know a few things.” Grant whispered, his hands resting on her chest.
“Good morning, mom and dad!” Lawrence cheered, rushing into his parents’ room with a tray with pancakes and fruit. “I made this for you! The Luna said it was your favorite!”
Robin laughed, sitting on the edge of her bed. “You didn’t have to do this, Alistair.”
“The Luna said it was you and Grants anna… annavis… anniversary.” Lawrence sounded out, earning a nod from his father.
“It is. However, you did have to make us breakfast.” Grant picked up the young wolf, noticing there was something different about him. “Hm…”
“What?” Lawrence asked, raising his eyebrow at his dad.
“You look distracted. What’s on your mind?” Grant smirked, knowing exactly what it was.
“We-Well… that new Indian wolf is pretty cute…” Lawrence blushed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“Oooh! You like Ayame huh?” Robin smirked, nudging her son.
“Ma-Maybe a little… she smells like orange and lemongrass… so good.” Lawrence smiled goofingly.
“Looks like you found your mate, Lawrence, I’m proud.” Robin sat up from her bed, crouching down in front of Lawrence. “Lawrence, listen to me.” Her voice grew serious as she gazed into her son’s eyes. “You knew what it was like under your father, you saw what he did to me – what he did to you – you have to promise me you won't be like him with Ayame.”
“I promise. Nobody should have to go through what you did with Xavier.” Lawrence whimpered, his gaze shifting towards the ground.
“Good, you must treat women with respect. Remember, men wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for women.” Robin reminded him, tapping his nose before heading off into the bathroom.
Ayame giggled, nudging him slightly. “She’s not wrong.”
Lawrence nodded, chuckling as the memory continued.
Lawrence watched from behind the columns that lined the courtyard as Ayame and her brother fought in their wolf forms. Lawrence was in complete awe of how swift and graceful the grey wolf’s movements were as she fought against her black wolf brother.
“Why don't you go talk to her?” Enyo suggested, coming up behind Lawrence.
“Nah… a girl like her wouldn’t be interested in me…” Lawrence sighed, shaking his head.
“You never know, just say hi.” Enyo pushed the British wolf out from behind the column and towards Ayame.
“Ayame, you know Lawrence, yes?” Enyo asked. The Indian wolf nodded.
Lawrence was sweating in his boots, waving awkwardly at the wolf in front of him. “What is wrong with you?! Act normal for the sake of the gods!” His wolf scolded.
“H-Hi!” The boy practically shouted.
Alistair growled at the British wolf, earning a jab in the side from Ayame. “Stop that.” She whispered towards her brother.
“Hi, Lawrence.” Ayame smiled, waving back at him. “Me and Bhai (brother) were just doing some sparring, wanna join?”
“Yeah, let him join so I can snap his neck.” Alistair glared at him.
“Don't mind, Alistair, he’s a little protective of his twin.” Enyo chuckled, ruffling Alistair’s hair. “Why don't you go spar with Montego and Barron?”
Alistair shrugged walking towards the two wolves in question, soon sparring with the wolves.
Enyo winked, walking off, allowing Alistair and Ayame to be left alone.
“H-Hun-Hunting?” Lawrence stammered.
Ayame nodded, morphing into her wolf form. The wolf purred as she rubbed up against his leg. Lawrence chuckled, morphing into a beautiful chocolate brown wolf, rubbing his snout against Ayame.
With that, the two wolves darted into the forest. The cool morning wind blowing their coats as the paws dug into the earth. The chocolate brown wolf followed the grey one as the two hid between the bushes.
Ayame’s eyes were peeled onto the jackrabbit a few yards from her. Slowly creeping from the bushes, the grey wolf crawled on her stomach, making sure she made little to none noise.
Once she was close enough to the animal, she pounced, sinking her teeth into the rabbit. She walked over to the brown wolf as he emerged from the bushes. She placed the rabbit down in front of him, wagging her tail excitedly.
Lawrence chuckled, licking the blood off her snout. “Thank you.” He said telepathically to the Indian wolf.
Ayame purred, rubbing her muzzle against his. “Anytime.”
Lawrence smiled, licking her cheek. “Wait here, I’ll be back soon.”
Ayame nodded, laying in front of the jackrabbit, protecting the beta’s food. Lawrence chuckled. “That’s my girl.”
With that, Lawrence ran deeper into the first, passing by his stepfather in his wolf form. Lawrence morphed out of his wolf form, walking over to his father. “Whatcha doing Grant?”
Grant purred, licking his pup’s cheek, tackling him to the ground. Lawrence laughed, wrapping his arms around Grant. Grant got off of him, smiling as he turned towards his friends. “Guys, this is the pup I was telling you about, Lawrence.” Grant introduced, watching as the pup waved at his friends.
“He’s a good you man.” One of his friends replied, ruffling his hair. “Just like his step-dad.”
“Are you hunting for Ayame again?” Grant smirked, earning a blush from his step-son.
“Ma-Maybe…!” Lawrence stammered.
“I think it’s sweet he has a mate at such a young age.” Another one of Grant’s friends smiled, pinching his cheeks.
“Hey, why don't you get her some deer? I saw a couple deeper in the forest.” Grant suggested, chuckling as the British’s eyes sparkled with excitement.
“Thanks, dad!” Lawrence cheered, rushing off deeper into the forest, the deeper he ran, the more excited he became. It was odd, years ago, something as simple as hunting wouldn’t be something he’d get so excited over.
Hunting for Ayame, that was a whole different story.
Something about hunting for the beautiful Indian wolf filled him with pride. A wide smile graced the wolf’s lips as he approached the deer in front of him. Crouching down as he crawled towards the deer, his mouth watering at the sight.
Before he could pounce on the deer, a rustic reddish orange wolf tackled the deer, swiftly snapping its neck in the wolf’s mouth.
“Hey!” Lawrence scolded, rising from his crouching position as he morphed out of his wolf form. “I was hunting that!”
“You actually learned how to hunt?” The rustic wolf scoffed, causing Lawrence’s face to turn pale.
“No…” Lawrence stumbled backwards.
“You and your mom are hard to find, that’s for sure.” He growled, morphing out of his wolf form to reveal none other than Xavier. “What makes you think you can just up and leave like that?” He stalked towards the young wolf as if he were a lion stalking its prey.
“G-Go away!!” Lawrence yelled, frantically looking around for an escape.
“You’re not escaping me this time, runt!” With that, Xavier leaped into the air, morphing back into his wolf form, sinking his teeth into the juncture between Lawrence’s neck and shoulder.
A pain, sharp cry echoed throughout the forest as Xavier continued to rip into the young wolf.
“Mom! Grant! Ayame! ALPHA!!!” Lawrence hollered, shaking the very foundation of the forest.
Back at the head of the forest, Ayame looked up from her deer at the British wolf’s cries. “Lawrence…” Ayame’s eyes coated in a fiery orange rage, before she could rise from her position, a hazel wolf rushed by her. Alongside the alpha was Lawrence’s mom in her timber toned wolf form and Grant in his wolf form as well.
“Miss Robinson!” Ayame called out, stopping the timber wolf in her tracks.
“Yes, Ayame?” Robin asked, turning her head away from Ayame and towards the forest as yet another painful scream erupted from it. She whimpered, desperately wanting to escape the conversation.
“Miss Robinson,” her anger turned into fear, “please… bring him home.”
Robin nodded, licking the tears that began to fall from the wolf’s cheeks. “Don't worry,” she gave her an assuring smile, “the only one who wont be coming back alive is that dick Xavier.”
Rage filled the timber wolf’s body as she rushed into the forest after her son, ready to kill the man that tortured her for years.