This will be the first and last special chapter for "Will You Ever Notice?".
I wasn't sure kung ano ba talaga ang ilalagay ko sa special chapter. Pero in the end, I just wrote what I wanted to see from Lael and Zenica. Out of all my characters (as of 02/14/2021), it is Lael who gave me a feeling of curiosity -- pa'no ba s'ya sa sarili n'yang pamilee? He has so much love to give that it makes me wonder kung pa'no n'ya 'yon ibubuhos pa sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. ><
Happy heart's day! Gift ko 'to sa'yo today! <333
Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is so out of my comfort zone but I hope I delivered it well. Hahahahahahahhahaa. If you want to tweet anything related to this, you can use #bgs2wp.
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Special Chapter
#bgs2wp
Tunog ng dalampasigan ang payapang ingay na bumabalot sa paligid. I liked the sound of it because it's calming and gentle. Maganda ang dagat sa umaga lalo na kung natatamaan ng sikat ng araw ang dagat. Magandang panoorin ang pagkain ng tubig sa buhangin ng dalampasigan nang ilang saglit, pagkatapos, aatras ulit pabalik matapos mag-iwan ng bakas.
I like the sea at night too. Lalo na sa ilalim ng kumot ng mga bituin at sa sinag ng maliwanag na buwan. I like the cold night wind and the peacefulness and mystery of the sea. Kumikinang na parang diyamante ang dagat sa gabi.
But I like the sea the most when Zenica's part of the picture.
"Look, this one's bigger," inilahad n'ya sa akin ang seashell na nakuha n'ya sa kung saan, may kaunting buhangin ng dalampasigan ng La Union.
Napangiti ako at agad na hinawakan ang kamay na inilahad n'ya bago tiningnan ang ipinapakita n'ya sa'kin.
"Oo nga," tawa ko nang kaunti bago kinuha 'yon at hinawakan ang kamay n'ya gamit ang isa pang kamay.
Patuloy na tiningnan ni Zenica ang seashell at hindi n'ya siguro napansing hinawakan n'ya pabalik ang kamay ko at hinigpitan ang kapit do'n. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapangiti.
She started walking ahead and I followed her, our hands still linked with each other.
Tumingala si Zenica sa mga bituin at huminto sa paglalakad kaya napahinto rin ako. I watched her as she continued gazing up at the sky before I looked up too. Maraming bituin sa langit--maganda tulad ng mga mata ni Zenica lalo na kapag nakatingin sa'kin.
Binitawan ni Zenica ang kamay ko kaya bumaba ulit ang tingin ko sa kan'ya at naabutan ko s'yang nakapikit at unti-unting ipinupulupot ang mga braso sa baywang ko para sa isang yakap.
Ipinatong ko ang kamay sa balikat n'ya. I rubbed her arm to give her warmth. Baka kasi nilalamig s'ya. Ipinatong ni Zenica ang ulo sa dibdib ko at napangiti ako nang tuluyan kong maramdaman ang buong yakap n'ya.
I caressed her long hair too and kissed the top of her head.
"Ano 'yon?" Tanong ko.
"I have a lot in my mind right now," she said.
Tumango ako at napangiti dahil para s'yang nagsusumbong kahit na may pagkamatapang pa rin kung magsalita.
"Speak, child," biro ko at naramdaman kong kinurot ni Zenica ang likod ko kaya napatawa ako nang kaunti, niyayakap na s'ya nang tuluyan pabalik.
I've always told Zenica that we should always communicate with each other. Kung mayro'ng bumabagabag sa kan'ya, she should say it to me and I promised to always try to understand her. Gano'n din ako para sa kan'ya. It's to avoid misunderstandings and to always have each other's perspectives.
Para sa mga panahong hindi namin maiwasan ang magkagalit, mas madali na lang para sa aming maintindihan at mapatawad ang isa't isa dahil alam na namin kung pa'no kami mag-isip.
"There are so many things that I don't deserve but I am still receiving," she mumbled.
Tumango ako at nagpatuloy sa pakikinig, caressing her back this time just to warm her from the cold breeze.
Nagbakasyon kami sa La Union dahil isa 'to sa mga lugar na gustong-gusto ni Zenica na binabalikan. We could go to other places or beaches--but she loves this place because she told me it reminds her of me.
"Like my second chance at life," napangiti ako nang sabihin n'ya 'yon pero nagpatuloy sa pakikinig.
I feel happy that she feels like being with me has been some kind of revival. Ako rin. I feel like I've received another life. She filled the spaces that were a blur to me before and I've experienced a life I was unaware of. Pakiramdam ko, mas nakilala ko ang sarili ko nang dumating s'ya.
"You," aniya at gustuhin ko mang kontrahin, patuloy pa rin akong nakinig dahil alam kong may idudugtong pa s'ya ro'n.
"This marriage."
"Our marriage," I corrected and smiled as I hugged her tighter.
Years passed by like bliss. Zen and I had a long relationship. We both grew and mature. We might've passed through some obstacles, but in the end, we still ended coming back together.
Humigpit nang kaunti ang yakap ko kay Zenica nang maalala ang lahat ng pinagdaanan namin.
Kung ilalarawan ko ang araw kung kailan s'ya pumayag na buong maging sa'kin, I'd say that it felt like a dream I didn't think I'd be able to experience in reality.
Na sa panahong nakita ko si Zenica sa dulo, nakasuot ng puting bistida at may nakapatong na belo sa ulo, para bang nakita ko na 'yon sa isa sa mga panaginip ko at may parte sa dibdib ko na alam kong nakasulat nang magyayari 'yon sa realidad. Ako, sa dulo, naghihintay para sa kan'ya.
I'd always wait for her.
The white flowers decorated the arc above her. Everything in our wedding was beautiful, intimate, and simple--just like how she wanted it. Pero kahit na ga'no kaganda ang venue, I thought that it wouldn't matter as long as Zenica's the one I'll marry. Kahit saan kami magpakasal, kung s'ya ang nasa dulo, it would be the greatest--grandest wedding I'd ever experience.
It felt like my greatest purpose in life has been fulfilled that day. Sa panahong 'yon, parang anumang segundo, bigla na lang akong magigising sa katotohanan dahil pakiramdam ko, isa 'yong magandang panaginip.
But when she was finally in front of me, with her eyes, which were usually empty, filled with love and tears, I knew I wasn't dreaming. At kung nananaginip man ako, hindi ko na gugustuhing magising pa.
How could I choose to wake up when the woman I love is in my dreams, marrying me?
"Do you," the pastor said and I held Zen's hand tightly, looking at it because I feel like my tears would flow continuously if I tried to look at her eyes. "Take Zenica Alameda as your lawfully wedded wife--"
I closed my eyes as the pastor's voice echoed in my mind.
To have and to hold from this day forward.
For better or for worse.
For richer or for poorer.
In sickness and in health.
To love and to cherish.
Till death do us part.
Inangat ko ang tingin sa mga mata ni Zenica. And just like I expected, my tears fell and I saw her smiling when she saw it. Napangiti rin ako at hindi inalintana ang tumulong luha. She knew that it's me who's going to cry at our wedding.
Inangat ni Zenica ang kamay n'ya at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. She wiped my tears away and I felt my heart beating a familiar young heartbeat--ang tibok ng puso ko sa mga unang taon ng pagkakagusto ko sa kan'ya.
"I do," I smiled and my voice broke a little bit, tears brimming on the sides of my eyes because I was mumbling a short prayer inside my mind.
Thank You for giving me Zenica.
It is a prayer I always had. Mula noon... hanggang ngayon.
"And," she mumbled in my chest, continuing what she was saying earlier before I started reminiscing about our wedding.
"And?" I probed, caressing her back as I gazed at the sea in front of me which was glimmering under the moon and stars.
Humigpit ang yakap ni Zenica at pakiramdam ko, nahihiya s'ya sa kung anuman ang gustong sabihin.
"Our baby," she mumbled.
Agad akong natigilan sa narinig.
Unti-unting kinalas ni Zenica ang yakap sa'kin at inangat n'ya ang tingin sa mga mata ko. Tinanaw ko ang mga mata n'ya, hinahanap ang anumang bakas ng biro ro'n.
"Our," my voice stuttered.
I watched her eyes and when I saw the glow in it, my heart started to overflow with unexplainable joy. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.
"You're," I trailed off.
"Pregnant," nakita ko ang nahihiyang pag-iwas ni Zenica ng tingin at ang pamumula ng mga pisngi n'ya.
Unti-unti nang gumuhit ang ngiti sa mga labi ko at hinatak ko si Zenica sa isang yakap. I closed my eyes and I felt my heart racing.
Is it true?
"I'm scared, Lael," she said and I hugged her tighter.
"Why would you be scared?"
"What if I won't be good to him?"
"Him?" I chuckled, combing her hair with my fingers. "Ayaw mo ng babae?"
"Gusto," she said. "But I want a copy of you too."
Napatawa ako at kinagat ang labi.
"We'll make another one," biro ko at naramdaman ko ang kurot ni Zenica sa tagiliran ko kaya agad akong napatawa. "I want another Zenica," I smiled.
Pero babae man o lalaki, I'd love them unconditionally.
Just like how I loved their mother.
Parang may pumipitik sa kung anong parte ng puso ko sa ideyang 'yon. I can't help but feel excited to meet them--to take care of them and to love them. To wake up every morning knowing that I have them. A family... with Zenica.
"You'll be good to them, Zen," malambing kong sinabi. I caressed her back and she tightened her hug around me. "You have me. We'll figure everything out together."
Inangat ni Zenica ang tingin sa akin, nakayakap pa rin kaya tinanaw ko naman s'ya para salubungin ang mga mata n'ya.
"Remember?" I mumbled as the wind blew in our direction. Hinipan ng hangin ang buhok ni Zenica and I looked at her with adoration. "For better or for worse?" I mumbled a part of our vow.
Pabiro akong kinunotan ni Zenica ng noo pero napangiti rin naman sa huli. Ang ganda pa rin. Years have already passed but I feel like my love for her is only growing more every day. She feels like a part of me. Hindi ko maisip ang bukas na hindi s'ya kasama.
Pero may iba sa ganda n'ya ngayong tinitingnan ko s'ya. Thinking that she has a life inside her--our life--makes me feel extremely overjoyed.
"What if there will be moments that I'll fail on being a mother?" She asked, staring at my eyes.
Hinawakan ko ang mga balikat ni Zenica at binigyan s'ya ng ngiti.
"There are times that you'd be. At may mga pagkakataon ding magkakamali ako," I said, imagining that our life wouldn't be easy--but I will love it still because it's a life I will have with her. "Pero sabay natin 'yong haharapin at matututunan."
Zen placed her head on my chest again and I gazed at the sea in front of me.
"I love you, Zenica," I mumbled and I felt my eyes stinging because of my tears.
Iniisip ko pa lang na may bago akong poprotektahan at mamahalin, hindi ko na mapigilang makaramdam ng pananabik at ng tuwa. Thinking about the future that lies ahead of us, I know it won't be easy but I feel this courage overflowing in my heart. Because it is a future I look forward to; a future I wanted to be in.
With Zenica. It will always be with Zenica.
Kaya nang dumating na ang matagal naming hinihintay, umiiyak habang balot ng isang kulay pink na tela, hindi ko mapigilan ang mga luha ko. She feels delicate inside my arms. Ang iyak n'ya, bumabalot sa bawat sulok ng delivery room kung nasaan kami. Her cries echoed inside every part of my system.
I will protect you with all that I am. I'd love and cherish you until my death--those were the promises I unconsciously muttered inside my mind.
I carefully placed her in her mother's arms and Zenica looked at her with tears brimming in her eyes. She looked tired because of the delivery but when she saw our daughter, her eyes glimmered and brightened up.
And when Zenica kissed her forehead, a warm hand touched my heart and I had the feeling that she'll be a great mother.
Zenica told me that she feels like she wouldn't be a great mother because of her personality. She feels like she isn't capable of taking care of someone else.
Pero sa tuwing nakikita ko s'ya sa umaga, maagang gumigising at karga-karga ang baby naming dalawa, hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti dahil alam kong nagkamali s'ya sa sinabi n'ya.
Zenica was humming a lullaby while dancing a little bit, karga-karga ang anak namin habang nasa terrace ng bahay. Soot n'ya ang silk na pantulog at pakiramdam ko, kanina pa s'ya gising.
Agad akong lumapit sa kan'ya at ipinulupot ko ang braso sa baywang. She glanced at me and I saw her smile before she looked at our daughter who was sleeping soundly in her arms. I kissed the side of Zenica's head before I closed my eyes and listened to her humming.
"Hindi mo ako ginising?" I asked. "Sinosolo mo ba ang baby natin?" Natatawang akusa ko sa kan'ya.
She hissed but when I looked at her, I saw the smile on her lips. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"Umiiyak kasi s'ya. Ayaw kong magising ka," she said.
"Natulog ka na ba? Anong oras ka nagising?" I asked.
"4," she said. "I'll sleep later."
"Ako na, Zen. You should rest," I said, holding her waist.
Lumingon sa akin si Zenica at agad ko namang kinarga ang baby. Our daughter stirred but she buried her face on my chest and continued with her deep sleep. Napangiti ako at hinalikan ang noo n'ya.
I looked at Zenica and she was smiling while staring at our baby. Napangiti ako at naabutan n'ya ang ngiti ko nang iangat n'ya ang tingin sa'kin.
"Bagay ba?" I playfully asked her.
Umirap si Zenica at lumapit sa gilid ko bago ako niyakap sa baywang. I smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"Pahinga ka na," I softly mumbled.
Tumango s'ya pero hindi naman kumalas sa yakap. Napangiti ako at hinyaan na lang s'ya.
"I love you, Lael," I heard her mumble after a few seconds and my heart warmed.
"I love you, Zen," I said sincerely. "Always."