"I looked at him as a friend until I realized I loved him."
"Are you two finally done with your make-out session?" Ezekiel asked after he had appeared at the bottom of the stairs. My cheeks had gone fiery red from embarrassment and Eric had merely glared at the older dauntless. "I won't tell, your secret's safe with me." Ezekiel blinked at me when noticing my reaction, but also completely ignoring Eric in the process.
"I trust that Zeek, otherwise you'll deal with me." Eric growled at the guard. Ezekiel laughed nervously and threw his hands up in surrender, but it only lasted a few seconds before his expression faded into one of more seriousness. Ezekiel raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat as he pointed towards the train tracks just up ahead.
"I thought I would give you both a fair warning. Two of the dauntless born initiates is still there, waiting for the next train." Ezekiel spoke calmly, however, Eric's body went rigid the moment he noticed what Ezekiel was pointing at. At first the hand around mine, loosened its grip before releasing it completely. I felt disappointed but I also retracted out of their line of sight in fear they would discover us.
Eric releasing my hand was just a precaution if they dared look up at us. But I still couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit disappointed. It had been warm and comfortably. "I will give them an earful—" Eric began but Ezekiel held a hand out, stopping Eric from even taking a step forwards as his attention shifted to me.
"Then you should give her one too." Ezekiel pointed out and nodded my way. Eric shifted his attention back to me for a short while before releasing an annoyed sigh. Ezekiel was right. "Man, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the help today, but this was too much. You shouldn't be so tough on them, they're still learning." Ezekiel sighed.
"Mind I remind you to keep your nose out of my business and mind your own?" Eric growled at him. Ezekiel threw his arms up in defeat and took a step back. "This was a punishment they deserved. They had been warned what would happen if they began another food war in the dining hall. That those Leneghan twins, chose to extend the battle to me, was just an unfortunate situation." Eric shrugged, raising his arms up to wrap them around his chest.
"Well, if you ever get the need to punish some of them again, you just send them my way. I can always use the help." Ezekiel grinned, pointing to his chest. Then he placed a hand on Eric's shoulder and they exchanged a look. With a small squeeze he stepped back, turned away from us and practically ran back up the stairs. His agility surprised me a bit. Ezekiel had seemed to be older than Eric, by quite a few years. His black hair had more than a few grey streaks.
"As I said earlier, there will be rules." Eric turned back to me once Ezekiel was out of sight, a hand raised and a finger pointed at me. "It's important that we keep this to ourselves, Max especially must not know until you're no longer an initiate. I will be in so much shit if he finds out." I nodded, shifting my attention to Eric's eyes after I had resisted the urge to bite into his finger.
"What about Ezekiel?" I asked before gesturing with my head towards the staircase Ezekiel just had vanished up. Eric smirked while raising a hand to my cheek, gently cupping it before moving it to the back of my head. I was pulled closer the moment his fingers wrapped around the back of my neck.
"He will not tell." Eric's eyes shifted to my lips. The motion barely perceivable because they shifted back up to my eyes quickly after. Eric cast a glance towards the train tracks from the corner of his eyes, making sure we weren't watched before he lowered his head to me, letting his lips hover right above mine.
"You sure?" I gasped at the sudden closeness of Eric. He hummed before placing his lips on mine again, gently at first but quickly more needlingly. This was the third time, I allowed him to kiss me. Everything was spinning when he released me, though I enjoyed it I still felt guilty about it. This was quickly moving into something I wanted, but I still couldn't help but feel that everything had changed between us to fast.
Another part of me feared it was because I reminded him of Georgiana, and this was some pent-up emotions towards her that Eric released. Almost making me a substitute of some kind. The thoughts had been entirely unwelcomed and unwanted, but I still couldn't tear myself away from the feeling that this was wrong in someway.
Nothing I had said to Eric had been a lie. I had been drawn to him from the moment I entered dauntless. He was always there to keep me on my toes, anger me and even throw me out over the edge of the chasm, but then he had also been there to pull me right back up, to defend my honor and care for me.
Conflicted with myself and my emotions, I felt my eyes burning as my tears swelled again. They fell moments after, and Eric tore himself away from me. "Forgive me." I whispered and tried smiling while drying some of the tears away from the corner my eyes.
Eric sighed deeply. "It's going to fast." His words were exactly what I had just been feeling. His uncanny ability to read me was annoying as hell but not unwelcomed. "I will go first, I need to scold those two who've lingered but I also have to scold you too unfortunately." Eric sighed and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I nodded and Eric tore himself away from me, his expression already falling into the same shadows as usual.
With long strides, Eric stormed towards the two dauntless born. It wasn't hard to distinguish them from each other. A smile emerged on my lips when I saw how they both cowered with genuine fear when noticing Eric. With a frenzied shake of my head, I tossed the thoughts out of my head, wiped the smile of my lips, and prepared myself for a scolding as well. I slipped completely into my jacket, zipped it properly while running towards the train tracks, acting like I was struggling to get it on. Every fiber in my body was aching but I ignored it.
When I reached the train tracks as well, I noticed it was Solomon and Hunter. Eric was yelling at them but trailed off when he noticed them noticing me. "—what the hell did you three not understand by taking the train or run back?" Eric snapped at us all, making me jump when I quickly headed to stand beside Solomon.
No one even dared make a move, nor try to explain to Eric why they had lingered. I kept my eyes on the ground, looking at Eric's shoes until the silence became too much. When I raised my gaze again, he sent me a raised eyebrow but never said anything else because the noise of a train approaching disturbed the silence between us. I dared look at the train as it slowed and came to a halt before us.
The two dauntless born was quick to enter the front of the train whereas Eric and I got into the back of it. Eric had somewhat gracefully grabbed onto the side of the train, hoisting himself up to open the door before he reached a hand down to me. I took it and allowed him to pull me up into the cart before he entered it completely as well.
This was a side of him I could easily get used to. Eric looked even more exhausted in the daylight that shone in through the open door. I had remained by the door to feel the fresh air and watch the landscape go by in a blur once the train had gained enough speed. Eric had retracted inside the cart, lent against the back of the wall and wrapped his arms around his chest.
"They will get what they deserve when we get back, but unfortunately you will too." Eric broke the silence between us, forcing me to turn my head back and look at him. I heaved a defeated sigh and shrugged before resting a hand on the doorframe because I had to steady myself from the swaying of the train as we turned a corner.
"I realize—that." I yawned in between the words before turning to Eric again. I stretched my arms over my head, alleviating some of the soreness in my body before leaning against the same wall he was leaned against. Eric raised an eyebrow and looked down at me as I stood beside him. "You really exceeded yourself this time—" I groaned while rubbing the back of my neck.
Eric laughed at me, a wholeheartedly laugh left him before he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "I suppose there could have been other ways to punish you." Eric breathed deeply as he rested his cheek against the top of my head, his nose buried in my hair. "But this was much more fun for me."
"Just because the twins decided to throw a pea at you?" I asked and rested my head against his shoulder to look up. "But seriously Eric, don't you understand them just a little. They've only known their brother's side of the story. How can you expect them not to take his side?" I blew out a breath and tilted my head back to take him in but in the same moment I had to lean heavily against him because the train took another turn.
Eric raised an eyebrow, looking just a little annoyed which made me continue. "Eric, if Gabriel is as we've got to know, how can you expect him to be any different towards his sisters. I will never excuse their behavior. It's just—" Eric released a low groan, exhaling deeply when he leaned his head against the steel wall behind us. It had made me trail off completely, half expecting him to cut me off.
But Eric remained silent. It frustrated me even though I understood now was not the time to push the subject. Eric's arm moved further down, his hand positioning itself on my hip as we just stood there, moving to the sway of the train as it quickly returned to the city.
After a while Eric broke the silence. "We're almost there." He sighed, sounding very tired as he raised his head from the wall. He inhaled loudly and pushed himself away from the wall, pulling me with him as he did. I had just been enjoying the silence, even relishing in the secureness Eric's presence brought.
I had already turned towards the open door when a hand grabbed mine, guiding me back to Eric. I looked confused at him for a moment before he reached a hand up to my cheek. "Just one more and I'll stop." Eric chuckled before running a thumb beneath my lips, stopping at the wound as he lowered his head.
I tiptoed before he could even place his lips on mine, closing the distance between us. The unprepared Eric, smiled against my lips before moving his hand to the back of my neck, bringing me up to him again. It surprised me a little, Eric was very affectionate underneath his tough hide. But I still relished in the affection he showed me.
Eric was the first to jump out of the train, landing gracefully on the ground before jumping into a run towards the compound. He had already resumed his usual mask, anger clearly visible on his face as he passed Solomon and Hunter. I had left the train but seconds after, stumbling, before I had to forward the momentum.
Ungracefully I fell to the ground, somehow managing to do a duck and roll instead before lading on my rump, looking just a little confused as to how the heck I had managed all that. Laugher escaped me when I pushed myself back up onto my feet. It had been quite the accomplishment and one I sincerely hoped Eric hadn't seen.
But he had.
Eric was waiting in the open door to the training room, Solomon and Hunter had been as well. Feeling my cheeks burn, I quickly headed their way. I kept my head low, while frantically brushing the dirt away from my clothes though I had noticed the hand Eric had on the doorframe, keeping us all from entering. "Tonight, I want you all in the training room after dinner." Eric sneered at us, though I knew it was properly only primarily directed at the boys.
When Eric dropped his arm and stepped away from the doorway, Solomon was the first to hurry through it, closely followed by Hunter. I lingered but when Eric raised an eyebrow at me and gestured for me to quickly follow, a surprised gasp left me before I hurried after the boys.
I arrived shortly after the boys, only to find everyone else had been waiting. Four was in front of them, silent now, but had clearly been explaining something when we arrived. "You're late!" Four snapped, raising his arms to cross them against his chest. Four was looking just as disappointed as Eric had been.
Four's attention shifted to Eric who arrived not long after, walking as if he had no care in the world. It was clear on Four's face that he had noticed something he shouldn't. Eric passed by me rather close, I felt his arm brush against my shoulder, and it quickly made me step aside. Trying to retain the secret by overreacting.
"Get over here and stay quiet." Four then ordered, pointing to the others. None of us hesitated and I quickly walked to stand beside Roxy. I kept my head low even as she reached a hand up to mine. I squeezed her hand tightly, enjoying the gesture of comfort she provided me.
"Where were you? I thought you were behind me." Roxy whispered when Four continued to explain what we were doing today. "I was a little worried when I noticed you were not on the train, but it had already left." She continued in a low whisper. I provided her with another tight squeeze of her hand.
"I'll explain later." I whispered because Four looked warningly at us. Roxy sucked in a breath in surprise, clearly, she hadn't noticed Four looking our way. I kept my hold on her hand as Four soon continued talking. We were going to refresh our combat training, we would even spar against each other. This day was going to kill me slowly.
But it was also thing I was looking forwards to see. Everyone was at some level of dread, soreness hindering their every move from the long night. The day seemed to progress rather slowly, though I felt constricted in every move I made, I still felt like I actually learnt something. This training was like nothing Four had ever introduced us to in the first stage of training. This was more like real fighting.
This resembled what people were doing in the pit. Real fighting. Before dinner, we all pretty much collapsed around one of the training mats. As I rested my back against Roxy, I was facing the entrance to the training room, and it allowed me to see who decided to enter at that very moment.
Eric was back, freshly showered and in clean clothes. He had regained some color to his face and was still wearing the sweatshirt I had forced over him this morning. Feeling a twinge of annoyance for doing that, I understood that I probably had to ask for it back, or hate myself for giving it up so easily.
"Initiates—tomorrow you will all have your first encounter with the fear landscape." Eric halted beside Four. Eric's gaze traveled over us all, making sure everyone was paying attention, though he hadn't yelled at us to get on our feet. "I therefore suggest you all get to bed right away, so you will be ready tomorrow. The fear landscape is nothing like the simulator you've been facing up until now. In the fear landscape you will meet all your fears, all at once."
Roxy groaned behind me before straightening up. The sudden loss of support almost made me lie down on the mat we had been seated on. "All of you are dismissed for the night. Solomon, Hunter, Octavia, a word." Eric growled once everyone had started to pack their things up.
"Good luck." Roxy mouthed before leaving with the others. I remained with the two dauntless born, waiting for whatever punishment Eric could come up with for us. My body so weak I was sure I could collapse right there and sleep until morning.
"Once you're done eating in the dining hall, you will go straight back here, understood." Eric raised an eyebrow at us all. I nodded once to show him I understood. "Now scram." Eric growled, turning towards the table he had placed the guns on one of the first times we were alone in the training room.
The dauntless born didn't hesitate to leave the room, not once looking back as I sunk down into a crouch, looking like one who had to readjust something on my shoes. "They're gone." Eric's voice had softened quite a bit and I released a relieved breath before placing my hands on my knees, pushing on them while I straightened up.
The sudden rise made me go dizzy and I had to regain my balance. Eric had noticed and soon arms were around me, keeping me upright. The scent that engulfed me, almost made me lose my feet again. I whimpered and clutched onto him. He had showered and his scent had become so much stronger. "Get to the dining hall, eat, regain your strength." Eric sighed when I leaned heavily against him.
"I will." I mumbled and buried my face in his chest. I inhaled deeply before raising my hands. I pushed away from him and bend down to pick up my jacket from the floor next to my feet. When I turned back to Eric, he had already gotten out of the sweatshirt and was reaching it to me.
"You're cold." Eric mumbled before he did the exact same to me as I had done to him and forced the sweatshirt over my head. Once I emerged from the sweatshirt again, I couldn't help but to smile at him. Eric shook his head and turned back to the table behind him. "Now go."
"Thank you." I simply said, vanishing back into the sweater. Now I didn't have to ask him for it back. He had given it to me willingly.