But I love you still
I need you
More than anyone, darling
You know that I have from the start
So build me up
Buttercup, don't break my heart
“Are you sure you will manage things here?” Mary asks me and takes her apron off, hanging it on the wall hook.
“Yes. Everything is going to be okay. You showed me what I have to do so you don’t have to worry.” I go to the old radio we have on the counter and turn it on, the sound of a song I’ve never heard before filling the room.
“You're going to be all alone here?" she asks me and opens her arms towards me for a hug which I accept.
"No, um, Nadine is coming. I told-"
"Your girlfriend?" she asks with an excited smile on her face, pulling back but still holding me close to her body.
"Well, no. She's not my girlfriend but she will keep me company while I work." The smile fades a little off her face, but the soft expression I got used to since I started working here is present as always.
"Oh. I'm sorry for assuming you were a couple. You two seem very close." She looks away, embarrassed by her mistake, but immediately makes eye contact once again, like nothing has happened "Thank you for doing this, Harry. Really. You didn’t have to."
“No problem. I am happy to help.” I smile at her and she leaves after
bidding goodbye, leaving me all alone.
After she leaves I put the "Closed" sign on the door, starting to clean the tables, and every other thing I find just to occupy my time until Nadine comes.
She visits me quite often at work because I usually stay over after everyone leaves, to clean up and prepare everything for the next day, so I get extremely bored. After I am finished, we go to my house and hang out there or go on a walk together in the park. Nothing special; just things that would make us spend more time together.
A few moments later, I hear the bell from above the door, and the corners of my mouth lift right away.
I feel her arms sneaking around my waist, her head resting on my back, and out of instinct, I set one of my hands on hers.
"Hello there." I turn around so when my face is directed to her, she intertwines her hands at the nape of my neck.
"Hi." I grab her hips and bring her closer to me so she is staying between my legs while I lean against the table that I was cleaning a few moments ago.
"So what's the reason you are staying late this time?" she asks and drags her hands down my chest, taking a few steps back and leaving me to take her jacket off, putting it on the back of the chair under the table that I'm leaning on.
"Mary's daughter is not feeling well and she wanted to make her after the schedule ended but Emily called and told her that she needs her immediately so I offered to help her."
“That is very nice of you. Can I help?”
I take the dough my boss prepared earlier and all of the ingredients I may need for the pie, and put them on the table. Nadine is rolling out the dough with the rolling pin and sticks out her tongue in concentration while her eyebrows furrow while I prepare the cherry filling.
I take some flour from the bag next to me and don't hesitate to throw some at her, hitting her right on her cheek and getting in her hair too.
"Harry, stop. We're not doing the sappy movie scene." She laughs and turns her back to me continuing to do her work and completely ignoring me.
"Why not? It's cute." I bend down to search for some dish in the cupboards but when I turn around I am met with the same thing I did to her five minutes ago, but instead, right between my eyes.
My mouth parts in surprise, not expecting her to reply to my childish behavior. I run a hand through my hair, the amount of flour she threw at me, making it fall in my face, so now I'm completely covered in it.
"I thought-"
"Yeah, well, I couldn't let you be all clean when I look like this."
Our flour "fight" doesn't end up there and by the end of it, we are covered in white powder and an empty bag of what was supposed to have flour in it.
We continue to work on the pie and I spread the cherry filling onto the pie crust, dotting it with butter on top, placing the second crust over the filling. I tuck any excess overhang pastry under the bottom crust, then crimp the edges with a fork.
Nadine puts it in the oven and sets the timer for 15 minutes for when I need to reduce the heat.
We clean up the kitchen while covered in the ingredients that we should have used, tell jokes that I’m one hundred percent sure are bad, and talk about our experience in the kitchen.
"What's with this music?" Nadine looks weirdly at the small radio I brought and goes over to change the post but I stop her.
"I brought it here because it was getting too boring in here and Mary chose the radio post." It seems like they only play old songs but it didn't bother me. I just wanted the silence to be gone. "What? You don't like it? This is a good song."
"Not my type." She purses her lips and shakes her head but I have to change her mind.
"Give me your hand," I say and Nadine looks a little weird at me but still does what I say.
I bring her closer to me and put my other hand on her waist, hers now being on my shoulder. I spin her around and sing the lyrics of the song to her, swaying us softly, her laughter making me smile too.
She’s so different from when I first met her. I remember wanting to make conversation with her and asking how she is, so she told me exactly how she felt. I was stunned by her moment of vulnerability and I didn’t respond to her so she left.
She opened up a few times to me, but she is a really closed-off person and I would like to ask her things about her but I don’t want to be intrusive and make her feel uncomfortable.
Our dance is so messy but we are just having fun, spinning around and acting like children. She is so close to me and I hope she can't feel how my heartbeat was growing steadily from the proximity of our bodies.
She steps on my shoes numerous times but I am too lost in the moment to care so we laugh about it. She gets on her tiptoes to get me to spin under her arm and I can clearly see the way her eyes are filled with joy.
Our faces are so close that our noses are touching and we both look up at the same time, our eyes meeting, but surprisingly it’s not awkward at all. It’s like we are both lost in each other’s eyes, too afraid to say something to ruin this.
“Can I kiss you?” I ask without thinking and I’m so fucking scared of the aftermath of my actions. She will reject me and I will be sad, going home and write in my little journal-
And then her lips are on mine.
I didn’t expect her to grab my face and crush our lips together, but here I am right now with one of my hands around her waist and the other intertwined with her, feeling the taste of her strawberry lipstick which is probably now all around my lips too.
My whole body is tingling and the good feeling I get from this moment I thought would happen in my dreams feels forbidden. I am not supposed to like this. I am not supposed to kiss my best friend but still, her body pressed to mine succedes to silence my thoughts and the only thing I have in my mind is Nadine and the music has faded in the background, making my heartbeat the only sound I hear.
Our lips move together and her hands go into my hair, my arms wrapping around her back so our chests are touching.
We are so fucked.
Author's Note:
Hello, everyone! It's been a while since I have last posted something and I think you deserve an explanation.
My first semester has just finished and this year of school is a very important one to me. Being a procrastinator has been an obstacle too because I always left my work for "later" so I never found time to sit down and write without interruption.
I will try to post as much as I can but I hope you understand my situation.
All my love,
L
There is a picture that screams Nadine to me so you all forgive me: