DC: Is everything a joke to you?
Florida: Funny things are.
~~~~~~~~~~
Nevada: Don't do anything stupid until I get back.
Idaho: How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jayden: I love you 3000.
Utah: Wow. 3000. That's crazy. Now go to sleep or I'll sell all your toys.
~~~~~~~~~~
[during the DC "protest"]
Massachusetts: Hey let's do 'get help'.
Connecticut: What?
Massachusetts: Get help.
Connecticut: No.
Massachusetts: Come on, you love it.
Connecticut: I hate it.
Massachusetts: It's great, it works everytime.
Connecticut:: It's humiliating.
Massachusetts: Do you have a better plan?
Connecticut: No.
Massachusetts: We're doing it.
Connecticut: We are not doing get help.
[5 minutes later]
Massachusetts, "helping" Connecticut walk: Get help please my brother is! Get help! HELP HIM! [throws Connecticut at a bunch of at the "protestors"]
~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida, on the phone: I don't speak Cantonese, but I did take eighth grade Spanish, so ¿donde está la biblioteca? Which literally translates to, I don't bargain pumpkin fucker.
~~~~~~~~~~
Georgia: See not winging it, isn't what they do.
Utah: What exactly is it that they do?
Florida: Kick names, take ass.
Louisiana: Yeah, that's right.
~~~~~~~~~~
Maryland: Please tell me nobody kissed me.
Utah: We won.
Maryland: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.
California: We're not finished yet.
Maryland: And then shawarma after?
~~~~~~~~~~
America: In any case, you know this... You call yourself Mass who shits?
Massachusetts: Massachusetts! Tell him.
New York: I've never met this man in my life.
Massachusetts: He's my brother.
New York: Adopted.
~~~~~~~~~~
Texas: Where is Alaska?
Alabama: Yeah, I'll do you one better. Who's Alaska?
Florida: I'll do you one better! Why is Alaska?
~~~~~~~~~~
Michigan: Whenever we get to talking, Illinois, about Wisconsin...what do always say? "He is the..." and it starts with a "B".
Illinois: Trash.
Michigan: No, not trash. Were you waiting just to call him that? It doesn't start with a "B."
Illinois: Booze hag.
Michigan: I'm so sorry. No, "best." I was thinking about "best."