My Tearsoaked Heart

By Marystar1212

70.1K 1.6K 457

Rose Fern is only 17 and feels as if she is one of the happiest people on the Earth. Her life is perfect. Fu... More

My Tearsoaked Heart *{1}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{2}* (Picture of Rose)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{3}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{4}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{5}* (Picture of Matthew)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{6}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{7}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{8}* (Picture of Ace)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{9}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{10}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{11}* (Picture of Lisa)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{12}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{13}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{14}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{15}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{16}* (Picture of Ashton)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{17}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{19}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{20}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{21}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{22}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{23}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{24}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{25}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{26}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{27}* (Picture of Jeremy)
My Tearsoaked Heart *{28}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{29}* - Part 1
My Tearsoaked Heart *{29}* - Part 2
My Tearsoaked Heart *{30}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{31}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{32}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{33}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{34}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{35}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{36}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{37}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{38}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{39}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{40}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{41}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{42}* - Part 1
My Tearsoaked Heart *{42}* - Part 2
My Tearsoaked Heart *{43}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{44}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{45}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{46}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{47}*
My Tearsoaked Heart *{48}*

My Tearsoaked Heart *{18}*

1.3K 27 12
By Marystar1212

Enjoy!

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          ~~ Chapter 18 ~~

“Mom?! I’m home and I brought someone!” Lisa called, slipping her shoes off and dumping them on the shoe rack near the door.

I followed suit, the smell of baking entering my senses and I was swept in memories. So many good times had been experienced in this house, it felt like my second home. I knew it like the back of my hand, even after all these years.

“It better not be a guy because it’s not the best time at the moment to give you the sex talk!” Catherine shouted back, sounding like she was in the kitchen which would be the reason for the heavenly aroma filling the house.

“Mom!”

We made our way into the kitchen, times of cooking chocolate brownies and cookies with our moms swept over me like a wave, leaving me breathless and on the edge of crying. 

I watched as Catherine, Lisa’s mother, took out a tray of steaming hot, mouth-watering choc chip cookies from the oven. Standing back up and turned to place them on the counter when she noticed who her daughter was with.

She looked the same as I remembered her. Her blond hair flowed down to her shoulders in long waves like Lisa, and her skin seemed to still be wrinkle less, even near the eye corners. She was healthy as a mom in her forties, her brown eyes sparkling like she was still eighteen.

The steel tray dropped luckily to the white island countertop, the clattering sound echoing through the walls as the cookies moved roughly from the unexpected impact.

“Rose?” she asked slowly, looking like she couldn’t believe her eyes, “Is that really you?” she whispered before one of her classic warm smiles took over her lips. She stepped quickly over to me, wrapping me into a heart melting hug, me embracing her just as tightly.

“I’ve missed you around here,” she told me as she pulled, away to look at me properly. 

“You’re all grown up now, tall and beautiful. Not our little flower anymore,” she chuckled and I rolled my eyes, blushing at the compliment.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” I told her though her next words made me want to bury my own grave as guilt rose in me.

“Where is everyone else? I’ve missed Rebecca so much,” she grinned though it faded when she saw my eyes glistening with tears before they climbed over the top. I felt someone hug me and I stood limply in their grasp, noticing it was Lisa I leaned my head on her shoulder. Her being 5”7 whereas I was 5”6.

“Mum!” She scolded and I could just imagine her giving Catherine a death glare.

“What did I say?” Catherine asked her quietly, speaking in a hush tone as if I wasn’t there though I didn’t care; I just concentrated on trying to stop the tears though it was hopeless. Inevitable.

Lisa rubbed my back soothingly for a couple of seconds before pulling back, my tears coming to an end as she gave me a sympathetic look. I didn’t answer her gaze though turned to Catherine, her eyes showing deep confusion and anxiety.

“My family died.” I said, no higher than a whisper and a gasp escaped her lips, disbelief clouding her eyes before she realised I was all serious.

“No…” she murmured, the news going through her brain before looking back at me and pulling me into a motherly hug, “Oh Rose, I’m so sorry.”

My tears started again and I felt a few leak from her eyes too, our families were close like how close we were with Nick’s family. I noticed just then how much people cared and loved my family. Their death was torturous to not only me.

After our little crying session I went to wash my face and I promised to tell Catherine everything later. Lisa was literally on her knees, begging if she could have us sleepover and Catherine agreed with no hesitation after hearing I would be staying too.  

I sat on the carpeted floor of Lisa’s room, nibbling away on one of Catherine’s divine choc chip cookies in delight, cheering me up significantly from my earlier mood. I was a sucker for cookies. They just made me really want to live lie. I guess you could say they were my energy food.

“Oh my god. We have to do prank calling tonight! Lauren can do so many different voices and accents it’s kind of scary.” Lisa said, looking through her clothes to let me borrow while she rambled on aimlessly.

One thing about Lisa was when she was excited she began to talk non-stop. Sometimes it was hilarious since she spilled embarrassing secrets though most of the time just annoying. But you got to love her.  

I shuffled through my bag with my spare hand, still nibbling the history-making treat like it was the last one I’ll ever eat. Finding what I aimed to find I pulled out my phone, checking the time to see it was a quarter to six.

The sound of the bell ringing echoed through the house, making Lisa squeal as she ran out of her walk in wardrobe, “I’m coming!”

I rolled my eyes, gazing back at the small piece of cookie I had left with love before plopping it in my mouth and staring absent-mindedly into the distance, savouring the moist taste.

A ringing again brought me from my day dreaming though it wasn’t the house bell. Looking at my vibrating phone I gazed at the ID before placing it by my ear.

“What’s up Ashy?” I greeted him and I heard him laugh.

“Ashy? That sounds like a girl’s name.”

“Then is fits perfectly.” I told him and he snickered again before suddenly stopping.

“HEY!” he scolded me and I chuckled internally.

“So, what can I do for you?” I asked, licking the remaining crumbs off the tips of fingers, trying to get the taste from them.

“Nothing. Just wanted to talk to you,” he said softly and I could hear the smile in his voice as I blushed lightly.

He chuckled and I could imagine the smirk on his face. “You’re blushing aren’t you?”

My eyes widened. “N-n-no! I am definitely NOT blushing. I was actually thinking of plans to reveal your new nickname to the whole school.”

“That’s fine. I might just let the name Rosie slip out a couple of times…” He trailed of and my breath caught in my throat at the nickname.  

*Flashback*

“I wuv you Rose!” Kelly exclaimed happily in my arms as she hugged the plush panda tightly I had gotten her as a surprise gift.

I smiled as she tried to say my name though since she was two and a half my name sounded more like ‘Rosy’.

I kissed her small soft cheek. “I love you too Kels.” She grinned at our special names only we could call each other.

*End of Flashback*

“Rose? Rose?!” I heard Ashton call me worriedly on the end of the line and I shook my head slightly to shoo the memories away. 

 “Ashton,” I whispered and I heard him sigh in relief as I tried to clear my mind.

“I thought you had a heart attack on my or something.”

A few seconds went by and I spoke in an expressionless voice, “Don’t call me Rosy.”

He sounded confused when he replied, “What do you mean? You don’t like the nickname?” he teased though I didn’t think this was humorous at all.

“Just please. Don’t,” I whispered hearing my friend’s footfalls come up the stairs.

“Okay, okay I won’t. Are you going to tell me why?” He asked warily, probably expecting me to say no.

I thought for a second, going over if I should or not. I had known him for two days though it felt like I’ve known him for years. He was genuinely nice and I felt comfortable around him.

I sighed, “I’m not ready to tell you…not yet,” I said softly before the three musketeers walked through the white doorframe to the room, smiles on their faces as the laughed together.

“I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” I told him, hoping he didn’t hate me for not trusting him.

He sighed lightly. “Okay I’ll see you tomorrow…Rose,” before hanging up and the beep replaying in my ear.

I let out a frustrated breath, “Why did I have to be so difficult for?” I thought before remembering they were standing at the doorway.

I glanced up to see smirks on their faces, my suspicions growing the more I stared.

“Hey guys…” I greeted slowly, throwing my phone into my school bag before standing from the floor, dusting away at my jeans.

Then they exploded.

“Who was that?!” Vi asked with a large grin on her face.

“No on--,” I started though was cut off by Lauren this time.

“Is he hot?”

“Well umm--,”

“You better not be hiding a guy from me,” Lisa warned and I rolled my eyes.

“Like I could if I want--,”

“Does he go to our school?” Vi questioned me again and I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose.

They kept asking questions, not even noticing that I wasn’t even listening to their ridiculous assumptions anymore.

I opened my eyes, glaring at them before shouting loud enough to get their attention, “ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!”

Their eyes widened and I immediately felt guilty, groaning deeply before looking back at them, “That’s was only Ashton. He was just bored so he called. No big deal,” I told them firmly and Vi was the first one to speak.

“So you guys are together?” she asked stupidly and we all sighed, shaking our heads at her.

The night was actually really enjoyable. I hadn’t had such a fun sleepover since I was fourteen.

We did those prank calls that Lisa was going on about and it was hilarious and I so badly wanted to laugh along with them. Pillow fights, gossip discussions, nail painting, it was the usual sleep over material.

Lisa had also cut my side fringe into a front one instead, appealing to my face shape a lot better than my old one did. It made me look more innocent, cute though at the same time daring and mature. She was a really good hairdresser. It looked as if I had done it in a five star haircut shop that only celebrities would go to.

Though like how the saying goes, ‘Time flies when you’re having fun,’ the night had come to an end and we all turned in for sleep, Catherine had set our beds in the living room so we all could fit.

At about twelve o’clock I swiftly removed myself from the living room, unable to fall asleep and decided to take a stroll outside in their backyard.

Sliding the glass across, the cold midnight breeze met my skin; creating goose bumps to rise as a shiver soared down my spine. I had told Lisa to just give me a pair of pyjama shorts and a tank top to wear so now I had to suffer the consequences.

I stepped past the door, the bottom of my foot meeting the light spikes of the grass as my other one soon joined. I breathed in a good mouthful of the chilly breeze, the air now filling my lungs and I sighed in contentment.  

My feet took me across the lawn, the faint smell of Catherine’s roses entering my nose as I inhaled them, the scent reminding me too much of home. I frowned before sitting down in the centre of the backyard, lying down so I could stare at the gleaming stars above and the grass soft beneath me.

Why did you guys have to leave? Why did it have to be you three that died? What would have happened if I had decided to go? They probably would have had to wait for me to get ready and maybe none of this would have happened. I would still be in my New York home with my family and going to high school everyday with a smile on my face.

I stared angrily at he night sky, thinking about all the possibilities if I had decided to go, all the ‘what if’s’. 

The sliding of the back door snatched me from my frustrating thoughts and I sat up, my head slightly dizzy as I turned it slightly to view the person, finding it was Catherine. Letting out a small breath I fell back to the ground with a strong thump, not caring if I hurt myself since physical pain was nothing compared to what I felt inside.

Closing my eyes I counted my breaths, finding it somewhat calming though lately it hasn’t been working. The grass beside me rustled though I didn’t open my lids, knowing it was time for me to tell her about what happened.

“Rose? Are you okay Hun?” she asked softly, her voice coated with concern and worry that I started to feel selfish. I was making everyone anxious around me. It would be better if I was alone.

When someone asks you this question the usual answer would be, “Yeah. I’m fine you don’t need to worry about me” though this wasn’t one of those times.

“No Catherine. I’m not okay. Nothing is okay anymore…” my voice coming out as quiet as a whisper near the end.

I could imagine the sad look on her face and not wanting to see it I kept my eyes shut, my arms beside my body as I picked at the grass, pulling a few out of its roots.

A light pressure came upon my shoulder and I could tell it was her hand. She sighed deeply before speaking again. “Rose, tell me what happened.”

I finally opened my eyes to see her now lying down beside me and it felt so normal. So motherly that it broke my heart that little bit more.

I gave her one last glance before following her gaze up at the sky and beginning my sad story. The one of how my family died…

I stayed out on the lawn most of the night, staying there well after Catherine had left. She was distraught at what I had told her, saddened to an extent that I could hear her crying in her room due to the open window. I had told her before though this time she got the whole story. The truth. Our mothers were close. Her husband had left her when she was pregnant with Lisa and my mother was one of the good things in her life. They were practically sisters.  

That night, under the shining gazes of the stars and the gleaming rays of the moon, I cried… Tears poured down my cheeks at everything that I had gone through, not in just the past month though all my life. The good and the bad. It was an overwhelming feeling. Memories kept flashing past my eyes, torturing me and not seeming to stop anytime soon.

Sounds of wailing and cries escaped my throat all through the night, it was just too painful. It was too much trauma for one person. The sound of the wind and meowing of the neighbourhood cats felt like they were mourning with me, making me start to pound the ground with a force that I was at the moment oblivious too.

“It hurts too much!” I shouted in my head, begging it to stop. Wishing that they would come back.

“Why?!” I whimpered, my hands going limp at my sides as I kneeled in the centre of the lawn, feeling empty and vulnerable.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM?!” I shouted up at the sky, standing up with shaking legs and surveying the backyard. Spotting something that stole my attention I began to walk towards the closest thing that I could throw; an empty white stone pot.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?! I DIDN’T DESERVE THIS!” I screamed before picking up the stone pot which was tremendously heavy and threw it a metre or so in front of me, it shattering to pieces and creating a loud breaking sound.

A sobbed escaped my lips as I walked towards the mess, eyeing one of the sharp pieces for something that I didn’t even want to try and say.

“Why me? I never did anything bad God. Why did you place this burden on me?” I whispered croakily, my steps heavy and my breathing raspy as I took slow steps towards that piece of stone.

I bent down slowly, just about to pick it up when something lunged at me, sending me backwards and onto the ground with a thump, making me groan in pain as the weight stayed on top of me.

“ROSE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Lisa shouted at me though I just thrashed violently, trying to free myself, the piece still in view.

“GET OFF ME!” I shrieked, my brain confused as I felt something taking over my actions.

“ROSE CALM DOWN! VI! LAUREN! DON’T JUST STAND THERE! GET MY PHONE AND CALL MATTHEW GRAY HERE NOW!” I watched as she looked over her shoulder to call to them and I took the opportunity to push her off me, scrambling to my feet as I jumped for the piece, any of them.

“NO ROSE!” she commanded angrily, grabbing my arms and pulling them behind my back as pain shot through them.

“CALM DOWN! Breathe Rose, breathe,” she ordered soothingly though I was unmindful of her tone and continued to seethe with rage and internal pain.

“LET THE HELL GO OF ME! I HATE YOU! ALL OF YOU!” I screech my muscles numb though continuing to fight against her.

“He’s coming; he’ll be here in five minutes!” I heard someone shout, their voice no longer processing in my brain.

“Okay, come here and help ME! She’s strong!” Lisa yelled at someone and I worked harder to try and release myself.

Four more hands attached to me and that just made me fiercer. I felt like a lion that was locked up and ready to pounce from its cage, I was heaving with rage.

“LET ME GO NOW! I HATE YOU! WHY THE HELL DID IT HAVE TO BE ME?!”

“She’s having a mental breakdown. Come on Rose. Calm down!” I heard though I screamed again, lifting my leg and kicking someone in the stomach, hearing a pain filled groan fill my ears. Two hands left my body and allowed me more freedom to move.

“ROSE! STOP IT NOW!”

I hissed. “LET THE F*** GO RIGHT NOW! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID WORLD! I HATE IT!” I shouted so angrily that I felt as if I had consumed all the world’s anger and pain. It was the worst feeling in the world. 

“Lisa?! What’s going on?! What’s wrong with Rose?!” I heard another voice ask worriedly.

“Mom! She’s having a mental breakdown, she won’t calm down!” Lisa said in a scared tone though I didn’t care about her at the moment as another pair quickly held onto me.

“NO! GET OFF OF ME! MOM! DAD! KELLY!” I wanted to die at that moment. I have never felt worse then at that very second.

More talking and shouting revolved around me though I couldn’t hear the words anymore as I thrashed with all the power I had left, kicking the people around me a few more times.

Then all the arms were gone, the arms left my skin and I immediately fell to the ground, my vision blurring slightly though I could still see the broken pot.

I started to crawl towards it. “Just a bit more…” I thought when a figure was suddenly in my view and embraced me in a hug.

Confusion clouded my mind as the rage seemed to settle down slowly though I still fought against the strong arms.

“Rose…” A voice that sounded so similar to me though I couldn’t pin point it, making me more confused. Their scent surrounded me and I could make out traces of mint, the smell making me stop my protests and calm down in the embrace.

Mint…

“Mint…” I whispered out loud and I opened my eyes to see those ones of bluish grey, the ones that I have grown to love and seemed to vanquish all my worries.

“What did you say Rose?” I heard the person ask and I snuggled my head into the side of their neck, breathing in the refreshing scent and tightening my grip on them.

“You smell like mint…so nice…” I told them, my head so confused that I felt like I was drunk.

The person chuckled and relaxed from their tense position when I had breathed them in. “I’m glad you think so.”

It was quiet and slowly everything started to come back. My surroundings. The sounds and smells, the colours. Everything. Then I lifted my head from the person’s chest and looked into those beautiful eyes and handsome face that only belonged to Matthew.   

I didn’t notice I was sitting on his lap and I released my arms from his neck, trying to scramble off him as a heated blush took over my cheeks.

He stopped me by tightening his grasp around my waist, refusing to let go of me. “You are not going anywhere,” he ordered me menacingly, pulling me until I was chest to chest with him and his face was so close to mine that my breath caught in my throat.

I stared into his eyes, not finding anything coherent to say. I snaked my arms until they were on his chest and pushed with all my power though I was so tired. He only tightened his grip and the space between us only grew smaller.

“Matthew!” I squeaked leaning my neck back to try put some distance in between us. He smirked smugly before his face turned serious.

“Rose. Are you okay?” he asked quietly and my eyes automatically looked down slightly at my hands in between us.

A few tears running down my cheeks. “What happened to me Matthew? I felt so…out of control,” I asked him helplessly and he drew me in for a hug.

“It’s okay. Sometimes everything is too much for one person. It gets overwhelming,” he stroked my back soothingly and I sighed, forcing the tears to stop.

“Did this happen to you when…” I asked quietly and I instantly regretted it as his body tensed.

He let out a small breath before replying carefully. “When they died I sometimes tried…to kill myself. It was a new type of torture. Not one of physical pain though of mental pain. It was unbearable. Though everything I tried…someone would stop me just in time and would tell me that they loved me and cared about me…” he whispered and I just stayed there, listening to his soft breathing.

I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his eyes. Suddenly I remembered what he had done yesterday and threw myself out of his hold and stood with trembling legs, obviously taking him by surprise.

“Don’t touch me,” I told him venomously and his face saddened with understanding. He stood up slowly, looking at me with a sad expression on his face.

“Rose just let me exp---,” he tried to say though I cut him off, my anger from before rising, talk about moodswing.

“NO! I have nothing to say to you and frankly I don’t want to listen to your stupid explanations. I might have gone through a lot in my life though that doesn’t mean you can walk all over me!” I shouted at him, breathing a few heavy breaths from the rant before continuing on a low menacing tone.

“Go home and stay out of my life,” I hissed and his eyes were filled with so much hurt though it immediately disappeared, replaced with an angry look to cross his features.

“You know what? I think I will. Stuff helping you, I can honestly say I tried!” he shouted at me heading towards the back door of the house.

Just before leaving he turned to me, “Leave our house as soon as possible,” he jeered at me before sliding open the door and walking through, the darkness stealing him from my life…

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Sorry if you had to wait too long for this chapter. The heat down here in Australia was seriously unbearable though today its suddenly freezing cold. Mother Nature is having moodswings ==' LOL.

I really wasnt expecting to write the chapter this way, that's why I only plan the story line of my stories and not each chapter because my mind always comes up with new ideas haha.

To Claudia : You thought they had made up for a couple seconds didnt you? >:D LOL This was seriously evil of me and you're going to come at me! HAHA! Sorry :)

Anyways hope you liked the chapter and I'm going to post in 2 days, maybe tomorrow. Actually yeah, I'll post tomorrow to make it up to you guys! :D

Comment, Vote, Fan AND SMILE! xD

~Mary (: xx 

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