My Tearsoaked Heart

My Tearsoaked Heart *{9}*

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 ~~ Chapter 9 ~~

Sunday came around after another cold sweat nightmare and I just had no energy. I was simply too tired. Too tired to live life altogether.

I lied in bed all morning, tormenting myself with my unneeded thinking. Another day falls behind us as another comes at us though they never give us time to prepare. They don’t give us time to try and see what will be thrown at you that day, and how you can avoid or face it head on.

As for me, I wasn’t ready for what happened to me 15 days ago. I wasn’t prepared to lose my family and Mother Nature was being cruel. I knew what was certain to come my way everyday for probably the rest of my life and that was the endless supply of tears that would leak from my eyes.

I grabbed one of my pillows and smashed it against my face before letting out an ear piercing scream that was muffled though still quite audible. Ten seconds later my door smashed open and I bolted upright, letting out another scream though this one was clearly of fear.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” A voice I knew so well over the last couple of days and sighed in relief before falling back onto the bed with a soft thud.

I glanced at Matthew’s figure that looked prepared to punch someone’s brain out and blushed furiously before facing the ceiling and covering the pillow over my face. Matthew was only wearing boxer shorts and was shirtless and I swore at myself for blushing like a little girl.

Just then the pillow was ripped out of my grasp and I was met with Matthew looking over me and I shut my eyes tightly, trying considerably hard not to let that stupid blush come back onto my cheeks.

“What happened Rose? Why did you scream?” I heard him ask and I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t leave without an answer.

“I was just thinking.” I whispered before searching for the fold of the bed covers with my hands and pulling them over my face so I could open my eyes.

“Thinking about what? And why won’t you look at me?!” He demanded and I was surprised at his tone.

“Rose,” he warned after I didn’t respond and I flung the sheets from my body and sat up, glaring into his eyes and not letting them wander.

“Why do you care?! Just leave me alone,” I told him angrily before lying back down and turning my back to him.

He sighed before saying, “I’m sorry for yelling you, I overreacted.”

Though out of no where I started sobbing quietly, trying to not let him hear though he did and cussed to himself, “Rose, seriously I didn’t mean to shout at you, I swear.”

I shook my head, “No it wasn’t you Matthew. I just-…I just miss them so much,” I whispered the last sentence and we were surrounded by silence.

Then suddenly I was turned around, pulled up by my hands so I was now standing next to the bed and enveloped into a large hug. My eyes held shock and I flinched at how close we were, trying to escape though Matthew wouldn’t have it. His arms were held securely around me, as if scared that if he let go, I would fall right there on the spot. Heat radiated from his body and I was thrown into a warmth that faintly reminded me of before my life had been ruined. I continued to cry and after a minute of just standing in his embrace I wrapped my arms around his waist and leant my head on his chest. I forgot about his chest being bare and just focused on being comforted by him, letting my tears fall from my eyes. He stood there, patiently waiting for my crying to subside and his head upon mine, murmuring things along the lines of, “It will be okay.” Though it wouldn’t. I knew it wouldn’t.