A/N: Happy Valentine's day!
This is... something.
Summary: Broomie is sweeping away the competition.
"Pick one!"
The twin declarations echoed across the vast white Anti-Void, emanating from a pair of lovestruck skeletons hellbent on getting into a particular glitch's personal space.
Error sighed for what very well may have been the tenth time that week; He shifted in his beanbag chair to face the two invaders, resisting the urge to growl unhappily. The short/wide patch of woven, blue yarn drawn close to his chest slowly lowered into his lap alongside two knitting needles. With calculating eyelights, the dark skeleton examined the monsters who dared to disturb his well-deserved free time. Again.
A beige-clad individual adorned by paints (blue, red, yellow, and more) stood directly before him, and a familiar black-cloaked figure occupied the space beside the other. The duo was instantly recognizable: Ink, the diabolical bane of Error's existence, and Reaper, the annoying ex-lover that couldn't take a hint. Each bore determination in their eyelights (or eye sockets) matched by a spark of confidence in their features; Judging by their posture, neither seemed as though they would be leaving any time soon. Not without a proper answer, at least. One that involved a word other than "no" or "funk off."
The destroyer weighed his options- be stuck with a soulless being who opposed everything he stood for or tolerate some idiot so far stuck in the dark ages he couldn't move past a dead relationship. A grimace nearly overtook Error's expression as he pondered the dire predicament. Both choices lack appeal. Greatly. And the one he wished he could choose (telling them to go right be to the AU they crawled out of), sadly, laid beyond his reach. So, Error chose the third option.
"Broom." He stated plainly.
"What?" An hourglass and question mark formed in Ink's eye sockets as he glanced around as if expecting to find a magical broom lying about the white space. When none presented itself, the skeleton shot Error a baffled look that triumphed the confusion Reaper stared at him with.
In response, the destroyer lifted a hand and pointed at the giant object strapped to the artist's back.
Reaper's invisible eyelights trailed toward the indicated direction. Upon setting sight on Broomie, the God of Death raised an eyebrow and stated, "Geno, you need to choose between one of us. Not pick a random object."
Error scoffed. "Hmph! I know that, idiot. I am choosing the broom."
Before the black-cloaked skeleton could say otherwise, he summoned a barrage of strings from the ceiling above, which snatched the item right off Ink's back and brought it to his awaiting hands. The artist merely yelped, doing no more throughout the theft. Reaper, however, shot the broom a menacing glare when it connected with Error's multi-colored phalanges. Deep-seated jealousy hid in the dark depths of his empty eye sockets.
Seeing the god's discontent, Error decided to partake in a few theatrics. (Blame King Doom and Gloom for that. Though Nightmare may be serious, he had a particular appreciation for adding a little flare into the things he did. Especially if that "flare" made more people flee in terror.) A hand slowly rose and ran through the fine bristles atop the art instrument before trailing down, helping the destroyer's other hand tug it close to his chest; It felt as though the broom leaned into the touch. Chills ran down Error's spine at the disturbing thought. Still, the action had the desired effect. Reaper's feathery wings puffed out, like a little fledgling miserably failing to intimidate a large fowl.
Suddenly, the gravity of the situation dawned on Ink; realization spread across his face.
"Broomie! How could you betray me like this?" The self-proclaimed protector of AUs fell to his knees, jaws overcome by a deep frown, and eyelights morphed into a blue teardrop and a black, broken heart. "After everything we've been through together- the adventures, the art, the slumber parties... Did all that mean nothing to you?"
The inanimate object had no answer for its old lifelong companion, but if Error didn't know any better, he'd say it almost looked smug. Maybe, even, pleased. The destroyer gave his skull a light shake. No, that was impossible. Odd, too. Perhaps the Anti-Void's insanity-inducing aspects were getting to him again.
A nice long trip to Outertale with his brand new prize would help clear his head.
"Gen... Please, please, reconsider! I have chocolate! The broom can't get that for you, but I can!" Reaper pleaded when the dark-boned skeleton turned to face the opposite direction.
As Error sauntered away with Broomie in tow, he muttered a soft, "You know, you remind me of a tree I once knew."