"This is simply humiliating," Severus huffed as he sat down at the back of the defense against the dark arts classroom. Since his classroom would be under repairs for the remainder of the day, Rowan and Severus had been instructed to assist Professor Remus Lupin in teaching the dark arts.
"How do you suspect the students feel, Professor Snape?" Rowan asked as she entered the classroom with a group of third-year Slytherins. Severus scowled at her remark, not wanting to compare someone such as himself to an imbecilic student. Rowan sat down in the almost filled classroom, a smile on her face. However, when her eyes met an empty chair next to Draco Malfoy, her smile dropped into a frown. "Do you suppose that's where Juniper sat?" Rowan asked in a hushed tone.
"We'll find her," Severus replied simply, placing his hand on her knee underneath the table. It was all he could do to comfort her in public without raising any suspicions. Rowan nodded simply, turning her attention to Professor Lupin as he entered the classroom. Rowan had always found it strange that she referred to him as 'Professor Lupin' because she never had him as a teacher. Though, the students adored him.
"Students! How are you all on this lovely morning?" Remus asked and the students immediately burst into various side conversations. Severus scowled at the way Remus ran his classroom. He mentally noted that if this were his class, he would get more respect. "Wonderful! Now, I needn't introduce our potions professor and his assistant. Professor Snape and Professor Knight will be joining us in our lessons today," Remus began, walking over to a rather strange looking wardrobe.
"Now, can anyone tell me what you think is inside here?" Remus asked, tapping the wardrobe with his wand. "That's a boggart, sir," A small Gryffindor boy piped up, sending a smile to Remus' face. "Very good! Can anyone tell me what a boggart looks like?"
"Nobody knows. Boggarts are shapeshifters. They take the shape of whatever a particular person fears the most and that is what makes them so-" Hermione Granger piped up, looking rather annoyed at the two boys beside her.
"...So terrifying, yes! Luckily, a very simple charm exists to repel a boggart. Let's practice now, without wands please," Remus instructed and began to teach the students of the Riddikulus charm.
"This class is ridiculous," Draco Malfoy mumbled, causing Rowan to chuckle softly. "Behave, Professor," Snape playfully scolded as he, too, found humor in Draco's response. Remus also told that laughter is half the battle with a boggart, something Rowan hadn't known. After a few moments, Remus had called up his first volunteer to go against the boggart, Neville Longbottom.
"Neville, what frightens you most of all?" Remus asked the shivering boy. If Rowan hadn't known better, she thought he might explode with fear. "professor snape," He whispered, barely audible. "I'm sorry?" Remus asked again, not quite sure if he heard correctly. "Professor Snape," Neville repeating, causing the whole classroom to erupt in laughter, including Rowan. She knew that Severus had been hard on the children, but somewhere deep down he truly cared. When she looked to see Severus' reaction, he looked rather pleased with himself.
"Eh, frightens us all," Remus chuckled. "I believe you live your grandmother?" Neville seemed more confident now, but Rowan could tell he didn't like the attention he was receiving. "Yeah, but I don't want that boggart to turn into her either,"
"No, it won't. Picture her clothes and only her clothes clearly in your mind. As long as you see it, we'll see it. When I open that wardrobe..." Remus trailed off, leaning into Neville's ear, and whispered something only he could hear. Neville nodded in return and they both drew their wands.
The wardrobe slowly creaked open and a creature looking exactly like Severus climbed it's way out. "Handsome devil, isn't he?" Severus whispered to Rowan with a sly smile. Rowan had to agree with him on that topic. The boggart approached Neville, and the boy looked like he would never move. Shocking Rowan, Neville quickly yelled out, "Riddikulus!"
The boggart Professor Snape quickly morphed to be wearing what Rowan could safely assume were Neville's grandmother's clothes. The class roared with laughter and the boggart gained a very embarrassed look on its face. "That insolent little-" Severus began, glaring down the young Gryffindor.
"Now, Professor! Loosen up, will you?" Rowan scolded, turning her attention toward the front of the class again. Many students went after Neville, all of them successfully banishing their boggarts. "Professor Knight, why don't you give it a try?" Remus offered and suddenly, everyone's eyes fell upon her.
"I mean- Why not? I'm not sure I'm afraid of much," Rowan said nonchalantly, stepping in front of the boggart. "Everyone is scared of something, Professor," Remus replied as he leaned against his desk.
Slowly the boggart took form and its form even surprised Rowan herself. At first, she had expected to see her father or her mother. Neither of them were kind to her in her youth, and that was the only thing she could think of that would make perfect sense. However, in front of her, the boggart slowly morphed into a bloodied version of Juniper Montgomery.
Rowan's jaw fell open as she watched this version of her missing friend. "You didn't save me. I trusted you," The boggart cried out and Rowan slammed her eyes shut. She imagined Juniper when she was a first-year, getting stuck on one of the moving staircases. "Riddikulus!" Rowan yelled loudly and the boggart began to change again. Except, it didn't change to a happier Juniper. Instead, it laughed at her. Quickly, it morphed itself into a bloody and dying Severus Snape. Rowan could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"You could have saved me! You are nothing more than a selfish child!" The boggart screamed out, causing Rowan to start to hyperventilate. "You killed me! You're a murderer! You're just like your muggle father," The boggart screamed out again. Rowan fell to her knees, her wide eyes meeting Remus'. He quickly stood up and got in front of her, the boggart quickly changing into a full moon.
"Riddikulus!" He exclaimed and everyone laughed as the boggart turns into a balloon and went flying around the moon. "I'm sorry, Rowan. I hadn't known that boggarts could do that," Remus apologized, helping Rowan up to her feet. She quickly brushed herself off and shook her head. "I was terrified it would be of my parents. I wasn't even worried it could be them," Rowan said shakily. She returned to her spot beside Severus, who looked at her with concern.
Soon enough, the class was finished and Remus had dismissed the students and safely contained the boggart back in the wardrobe. "Out of curiosity, Severus, what would your boggart be?" Remus asked as he locked up the wardrobe. "I'm not sure, Remus. I don't think I would like to find out either," Severus said coldly as he turned and briskly left the classroom.
After a small apology to Remus, Rowan sped away and caught up with Severus. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" Rowan called out, causing Severus to slow down to meet Rowan's pace. "I was hoping to head out to the courtyard. Would you like to join me?" He asked, a small smile on his face. "I would love to, Severus,"
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
They sat outside in the abandoned courtyard in comfortable silence. They had spent many nights out in the same spot, Severus hadn't ever seen it in the middle of the day. "Do you want to talk about your boggart?" Severus asked carefully. Rowan shrugged, nodding slightly.
"I was almost sure it would be my parents, Severus. When it became Juniper, I was sure I could make it into her when she was just a funny and lost first-year. When it turned into you..." Rowan trailed off, the fresh memory was still painful. Severus placed his hand on hers, looking into her eyes deeply. "Go on," He offered, showing that he was listening. "I guess I'm afraid to become my father and I'm afraid that you'll see me as a murderer. Which sure, I am, but you've never judged me before-"
"And I never will. You forget I became a death eater at a young age. Given, I left soon after but that doesn't excuse my actions. I have the scars to prove it," Severus assured her, instinctively rubbing his forearm. He had tried everything he could to remove the mark from his body, but it seemed that his past would haunt him forever.
Rowan pulled out her wand and muttered, "Expecto Patronum,". A bright light spun out of her wand and outburst a beautiful black mare. It pranced around them and it seemed to comfort Rowan. "Juni always loved to watch my Patronus. I think it was because she hadn't been able to conjure one yet," Rowan smiled sadly at her Patronus, who nestled against her face.
"What's your Patronus, Severus?" Rowan asked as she turned her attention away from her mare, though it stayed floating around in the air. Severus chuckled and shook his head. "I've always had the same as Lily did; a doe. Mine doesn't seem to show any affection toward me, unlike yours," Severus explained as he watched Rowan's mare prance around the courtyard. "May I see it? I have only seen my own,"
Severus nodded, reluctantly removed his wand from his robe. He hadn't seen his own Patronus in quite a while. The first few years after Lily's death, he could barely conjure his Patronus at all. The grief had consumed him. However, as the pain of Lily's death left him he still hadn't dared to try to conjure his Patronus. "Expecto Patronum!" Severus said confidently, his mind flooding with the memories he has made with Rowan thus far. Severus peeled his eyes open against his own will and was confused and surprised at what he saw.
"Uh, Severus. I may not be the smartest person but that's-"
"A black stallion," Severus whispered in disbelief. He watched as his Patronus approached him and knelt its head down to Severus' head. Hesitantly Severus reached up and began to pet its nose, surprised that he could even touch it. Severus smiled gleefully as he watched his stallion join Rowan's mare. The two Patronuses seemed inseparable.
"I have never seen such a thing," A voice boomed from behind them. Startled, Rowan turned around and saw Dumbledore approaching them. Severus stayed turned around, seeming to already know who was behind them. "Do you stalk me, Albus?" Severus asked as his Patronus seemed to disappear. Rowan's mare seemed to do the same, even though her wand was still drawn.
"I'm afraid I don't, Severus," Dumbledore answered with a small chuckle. Severus rose to his feet, Rowan following in his footsteps as she put her wand away in her robe pocket. "Miss Knight, would you be willing to go and grab me a lemon drop from my office? I'll be sure Severus stays right here awaiting your return," Dumbledore asked with a charming smile. "Sure, headmaster. I'll be right back," Rowan said and she disappeared back into the castle.
"I know you didn't just send her away for a sweet. What is it, Albus?" Severus asked as he sat down on the stone trimming around the fountain that stood in the middle of the courtyard. Dumbledore joined him, without saying a word. Severus sighed, knowing he would have to ask if he wanted an answer.
"Why is my Patronus no longer a doe?" Severus blurted, almost annoyed that Dumbledore hadn't just told him why in the first place. Dumbledore, much like Severus, happens to be well trained in legilimency. "I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you, Severus. I was hoping you would be able to explain," Dumbledore began with a puzzled look.
"I had always thought you loved Lily so much, a part of you became obsessed with her. In theory, she became part of you and that showed as your Patronus," Dumbledore said, peering at Severus over his half-moon glasses. "Have you ever loved someone so much that your Patronus changes for them?" Severus inquired, hoping that he wasn't alone.
"I can't say I have, although, I don't think you're right. If your Patronus changed to be like Rowan's, you would have a mare," Dumbledore replied simply, causing Severus to sigh in frustration. "Severus, perhaps you have always had a black stallion. Your obsession with Lily Potter had just clouded that part of yourself," Dumbledore began, finally putting two and two together.
"Lily and James had complimenting Patronuses, being a stag and a doe. Many say those with matching Patronuses are soulmates," Dumbledore added, winking at Severus. "Are you saying that Rowan and I-"
"I cannot tell you how your heart feels, that is something only you know," Dumbledore said with a knowing smile. Just as Severus was about to reply, Rowan came back outside. At the sight of her, Severus couldn't help but smile. He wanted nothing more than to have her by his side forever.
"Those stairs are hell- Excuse my language, headmaster," Rowan said as she handed Dumbledore a few wrapped candies. "Thank you, Rowan. I'll leave you two be but I expect to see you at dinner," Dumbledore said cheerfully as he left the courtyard.
Severus stood up and pulled Rowan into a tight hug. "Woah, I missed you too, Sev," Rowan chuckled, wrapping her arms around his torso. Severus didn't reply, he simply hugged her closer. "Severus, what if someone sees us?" Rowan asked as she pulled away slightly. Severus still kept his arms wrapped around her waist.
"So what if they do?" Severus replied as he placed his hand on Rowan's lower back. Suddenly, he dipped her down and kissed her passionately. Rowan gasped in surprise, but slowly she relaxed into his touch. She was just happy to be kissing the man she loved. To Severus, however, this kiss meant a lot more.
Without realizing it, Rowan Knight had set Severus Snape free.