"I had a lot of fun tonight. I can't believe you proposed on our first date!" We look at each other as we begin to approach my house.
I jump in front of him, holding both his hands as I walk backwards.
"I already said, it wasn't a proposal." He rolls his eyes, grinning. "And if you say I proposed on the first date, people will think I'm desperate." He adds and I laugh.
I look at the house we're in front of and stop. This one is only about two houses down from mine. I wrap my arms around him and happily smile. He puts his arms around me as well, pulling me closer to him.
"I've never ever felt like how I feel right now. I feel...excited? No, it's more than that. I don't know how to explain it. It's really nice. Mei, I really..." He suddenly tenses, his gaze not on me anymore. "love..."
My smile slowly turns into a confused expression. His hold tightens on me and I tap on his shoulders.
"Tsukishima? What's wrong?" I ask.
"Mei...why-" He gulps. He clears his throat, talking much clearer now. "Why is there a moving truck in front of your house? W-Why are they putting your things in there?" He asks in a slight daze.
A frown comes over my face and I quickly get out of his grasp to turn around.
That's my desk they're loading into the truck.
And my bed! And my nightstand.
What is going on?
"T-Tsukishima. Let's go away." I say but he grabs my hand.
"Let's find out what's going on." He says, beginning to drag me towards my house.
This isn't going away!
Just as we approach the truck, my father comes storming out the house with my mother in tow.
"You can't do this! It isn't the right choice!" My mother frantically protests. My father turns around, looking at my mother for a minute before cupping her cheeks.
"Staying here isn't the right choice. And you know it, hunny. This house is beginning to gather bad memories. I don't want our daughter here either. Worse things have happened to her here than any other city we've been in. She was in a coma for crying out loud! Love, this is for the better. I promise." My father takes my mother into a hug, rubbing her back.
This is a dream.
This isn't actually happening.
Right?
"Tsukishima" I whisper, looking down to see that I'm gripping his shirt as if my life is in danger. I release it, tears streaming down my face. "I don't want to leave." My voice breaks and he begins to pull me again.
"Yuna-Sans." Tsukishima stops only when he's right in front of the two who pull out of their embrace.
"Tsukishima-Kun." My mother looks at the two of us, shocked. Her eyes stay on me and she gets tears in her eyes.
"You guys are moving?" Tsukishima asks, making my father nod.
"No, we can't move. This is our home." I say quickly, fiddling with my fingers.
"This place has been nothing but bad to us. I found another house." My father looks at me.
"That's not true! I love living here. I-I made friends! I'm happy!" I say desperately, my words beginning to get harder to understand due to my crying.
"When do you leave?" Tsukishima asks as I try to wipe away my tears. Why does he sound so calm? How can he not be freaking out?
"I'm hoping to be gone by late tomorrow night." My father says, not sparing me a glance.
"Then I'll bring her back by 10:30pm tomorrow." Tsukishima says and my dad's eyes widen.
"What? You're telling me what's going to happen with my daughter?" He asks and Tsukishima nods, not giving a fuck about what my dad thinks anymore.
"Yes I am. Mei and I haven't even been out in public for a date yet. You're taking her away from her friends here and me, so I'd like the spend all the time I can with her. Goodbye now." He says and grabs my hand, pulling me away once again.
Why is this happening? Why does my dad think he can just disappear and then come back and decide for everyone that we're just going to move?
By the time we reach Tsukishima's house again, I've stopped crying. But the feelings of bitterness, dread, and anything else mournful doesn't leave my body.
We quietly slip our shoes off and go up to his room.
"Do you want to borrow clothes to sleep in?" He asks, his voice low. I shrug, taking my hand out of his and leaning against the door.
He looks at me for a moment and sighs, turning to walk over to his closet and strip to his boxers. He grabs a shirt and walks over to me.
"Baby...everything will be okay. Alright?" He tries to reassure me while lifting up my arms and slipping my shirt off.
"You don't know that." I say quietly.
He reaches around me to unclip my bra. As he does, he leans forward and places a long kiss on my lips.
"I do. You know why?" He asks, sliding my bra off of me. He pulls his shirt over my head, and I put my arms through.
"Why?" I ask. He unhooks my jeans, pulling them down to my ankles and helping me step out of them.
"Because," He starts, standing up and folding my clothes before putting them on his desk chair. "we have these." He comes back to me, holding up his hand and wiggling his finger with the ring on it.
I lift my left hand, looking at the ring.
"Remember what I said? As long as we wear it, we'll be committed to each other. As long as we have these, we'll be inseparable." Tsukishima cups my face, giving me a small, sad, smile.
"But I'll probably never see you again." I whisper, my voice breaking.
His shoulders drop and he doesn't say anything for a moment. He sighs, leading me to his bed. He lays down and pulls me on top of his bare chest.
If it was any other day, I would have argued with him. Told him that I can't lay on top of him because I'm too heavy.
But this is the last night that I'll ever spend in his bed, or with him in general... so I just want to hold him like this.
"We'll see each other again. Maybe sometimes we can visit each other. We can text and FaceTime each other every day."
Even though he's saying this, I already know we won't work out. I've heard about this so many times. A couple becomes long distance and one of them ends up cheating on the other.
Tsukishima will get tired of not being able to have a girlfriend he can touch. He'll realize that he's free of the person who took up his time and complained about their body 24/7. He'll realize that, and leave as fast as he can.
But who can blame him?
"Yeah, that'd be nice." I whisper, laying my head on his chest.
Tsukishima reaches over, turning off his light. Neither of us talk for a while, we just lay there in silence.
I feel numb. All the feelings I felt only around 15 minutes ago are gone, and replaced by a big ball of nothing.
"Let's get married." Tsukishima suddenly says. I lift my head, looking at him. I can just barely see his face that's illuminated by the moonlight.
"What?" I ask, causing him to chuckle.
"I know I said that we can talk about marriage in the years to come, but we don't have that time anymore. So let's get married. After we both graduate high school, and with both of our parents permission, I'll come up to wherever you are and bring you back. And then we'll get married, and nobody will be able to take you from me anymore." He says the last part quietly.
My heart lurches at the thought, but even now, I know that he's only saying what I want to hear.
I know it won't happen.
In two years, by the time we turn 18, a lot will have changed. I'm sure both of us will be busy trying to figure out our future, and he'll most likely be starting college.
It's a reality that the two of us just don't seem to get.
"Are you proposing to me right now?" I joke, letting a small smile form on my lips.
"I'm serious, Mei. So take it as you will." He holds on to me tighter, and I lean down to kiss him.
"Okay then. I'll be expecting you in two years." I say, smiling down at him.
He gives me one back, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He nods, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Okay, I won't disappoint." He promises. "Let's go to sleep now, alright? Although I want nothing more than to just hold you like this until I have to give you back tomorrow, we have a long day planned. I'm going to take you on a real date. We're going to have fun for your last day here. Okay? So rest up."
I look down at him, nodding.
"Alright. Goodnight Kei, I love you." I say, letting my eyes show how much I feel for him.
"Goodnight Mei," He grins at the usage of his first name. "I love you too. So much."
~
Isn't it funny how the time goes by so fast when you don't want it to? Yet, it always seems to drag on when you're just waiting for the day to be over.
We woke up at 7:30, and Tsukishima insisted that we do everything together.
So we showered together, got ready together, and we ate breakfast together- he said we'll be having all three meals together today.
It felt...nice. Waking up in his arms is not something that happened everyday. But it's something I cherished each time.
By 9am, we were out the house. We stayed glued to each other's side as we walked around the park, enjoying the scenery.
We acted like tourists in our own country. We took pictures in front of everything- on both of our phones so we can equally share the memories.
We visited the Sendai City Museum, where Tsukishima voiced his plan to work here some day solely due to the dinosaur exhibition they offer.
We ate street food, we went into different stores together...
We got matching bracelets- the kind that if you tap your own, it'll vibrate the other's to let them know you're thinking about them. It even has a little feature that lets you send audio messages.
I plan to use this often.
We got two portraits painted of us, posing differently in each one. We both said that we'd hang it in our rooms.
We kissed, held each other, and he called me various nicknames like baby, darling, and love and it made my heart flutter each time.
He was nothing but sweet, but soon our day began to come to an end. He decided that we should go home, so we ate dinner at around 5pm, and got home at 6:30.
Being out with him for that long, I thought I'd hate it. Both of us were sure I'd have some sort of panic attack at one point during the day, but surprisingly I had fun.
I felt safe. Being in Tsukishima's arms made me feel safe.
After going home, the two of us couldn't keep our hands off of each other.
The feeling of desperately wanting to become one with the person you love, came over us.
And now it's 9:30
"Again." I whisper, collapsing onto Tsukishima's chest.
"Again?" He laughs tiredly. "What round is that? I've lost count." He mumbles and I shrug.
"I don't know, but..." I look up at him. "I'm going to miss you." I say, changing the subject.
"I know, darling. I'm going to miss you too." His eyes soften and he wraps his arms around me. "If you can- whatever chance you get- please visit. I'll do the same, okay?" He asks and I nod quickly.
"Of course. I'll visit you whenever I can." I say as I cup his face.
"You're so beautiful." He says softly, looking at me with a gentle smile.
"You're saying that because I'm on top of you, naked." I tease, giggling.
"I'm serious." He chuckles, looking up at me. "Whether you're clothed or not, I still believe that you're the most gorgeous person on this earth."
I grin, allowing myself to take the compliment. I lean down and kiss him once more.
"You're very handsome too. I don't know what I did to deserve you." I smile, laying my head on his chest.
He laces both his fingers through mine, and we just lay there- enjoying each other's company.
"Do you really think we'll keep in contact all this time?" I ask, a twinge of hopefulness surging through my tone.
"Of course." He replies.
I take a deep breath, biting the insides of my cheeks.
I hope so. I really do hope so.
"Let's do it again." I suddenly say, popping up and straddling his waist.
"It?" He raises an eyebrow.
"It." I reply, and he laughs.
"You're full of energy today." He says, but the tiredness he once showed is now gone. He reaches over, opening the second drawer of his nightstand and reaches for a condom.
I grab his arm to stop him.
"No condom." I say and his eyes widen as he looks at me.
"No condom?" He asks as if he didn't hear me.
"No condom." I repeat, and his shoulders drop.
"Love, I'm not going to get you pregnant." He says seriously.
It was a stupid idea, I know.
"But if I'm pregnant then I have to see you!" I say, pouting. "I can take care of it, I'll be homeschooled anyways." He looks at me while amusement fills his eyes and he begins to laugh.
It's a hearty laugh, one that comes from deep within his belly. The corners of his eyes crease and the sound that fills the air is so beautiful, I almost begin to cry.
I'll never hear that sound again.
"D-Don't laugh at me." I whisper, not because I'm offended. But because if he continues to laugh, I really might start bawling my eyes out right now.
If I knew I wouldn't be able to hear that sound again, I would have made him laugh more.
"I'm sorry love. I'm not laughing at you." He says, looking up at me. "You're just silly. I'm not going to get you pregnant. Babies and school do not mix well. I don't want to be a father right now, and I know you don't want to be a mother right now either. I'm telling you, things are going to be just fine. Okay? I promise." He smiles up at me and I silently nod.
"Okay..." I say quietly.
"Now, should we continue where we left off?" He asks, grabbing the protection.
I look at him and laugh. After nodding, he wastes no time in flipping me over.
~
"It's 10." Tsukishima whispers into my ear.
We're currently sitting in the bathtub, me in between his legs with my back pressed against his chest. His arms are wrapped around me, and we've been sitting like this- in silence - for the past 5 minutes.
"The universe is against me, isn't it?" I ask softly. His arms tighten around me, but before he can say anything, I continue. "So many bad things have happened to me...people who I've never spoken to hated my guts. I came home beaten half to death like, every week or so. There was absolutely no meaning to my life. Not until I met you. Things got so much better. I was able to experience friendship, what it means to love, how it feels to be loved, what it means to have someone who will protect you. I know you think otherwise, and I know you still feel guilty for what happened, but I just want you to know that you really did save my life. I feel like you gave it meaning. Honestly, if we didn't start talking to each other I...I probably would have been dead by now. I don't think I would have been able to go on with how I was living much longer. I know this is probably not something I should tell you, and I hope it doesn't put any more weight on your shoulders. I'm only telling you this so I can say thank you. Thank you for not treating me badly. Thank you for loving me when nobody else would. Thank you for giving meaning to my life. I owe...everything to you. For the first time in years I was able to feel what true happiness is. So thank you."
I turn around, looking at Tsukishima with tears running down my face and give him a small smile. But the smile is immediately gone when I see his expression.
He looks absolutely crushed. My eyes widen and I crawl into his lap, cupping his face. As soon as I touch him, tears begin to fall from his eyes. He doesn't say anything, he just pulls me to his chest and holds on to me. I lay my head on his shoulder, and he lays his head on top of mine. I wrap my arms around him and both of our bodies shake as we silently cry in each other's arms.
"I-I love you so much. Okay? Please don't forget that. I love you. Kei, I really love you." I say and a quiet sob leaves his lips.
I close my eyes tightly, holding him close.
Gosh, I hate you for this. I hate you for coming into my life and making me fall in love with you.
If only you didn't talk to me. If only you treated me how everyone else did.
Then neither of us would have to feel this way.
Is this what it feels like? Is this a heartbreak?
I love you Tsukishima Kei. I love you, I love you, I love you. I want to tell you this until my tongue will no longer work.
"Last night, I barely slept. I cried most of the time because I knew the time I had with you was running low. It's pathetic, and I would never admit to something like this to anyone else." He takes a deep breath, lifting his head up and looking at me. "But this is the last time I'll get to be honest with you about my feelings." He chuckles, wiping away his tears.
"It's not pathetic. Not at all." I shake my head, wiping mine as well.
"I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this before, but when we met, I wasn't in the best of places mentally. I was depressed, my relationship with my brother was at the lowest it's ever been, and the days slowly started to feel like they were just repeating themselves." This is the most vulnerable Tsukishima has ever been in front of me. He looks sad, and I hate that. "Meeting you, and getting to know you, made me excited to wake up in the mornings. I was in a better mood, and my brother and I got along a little better because of it. At nights, I would anxiously await for morning to come. When I say this, I truly mean it. You are the absolute best thing to ever happen to me, Mei. I wish I was able to spend more time with you. You saved me too."
This hurts. It hurts so bad. I take a deep breath, looking at him.
"I'm glad I was able to make your days a little bit better." I say. "I'm sorry for coming into your life like this. I feel like we built up something that's amazing for us both, and now I'm ruining it because I have to leave." I say sadly, putting my head down.
"Don't you ever apologize for that." He lifts my head up with his finger and makes me look at him. "That hurts way more than you leaving- you apologizing for this. What exactly are you apologizing for? Loving me? Making me the happiest I've been? I don't ever want to hear you apologize for that." He says and I shake my head quickly.
"T-That's not what I meant! I-I'm sorry. I'll always love you, I'll never apologize for that. I'm sorry. I take back what I said." I say and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
"It's okay." He says quietly. He reaches for his phone, and taps the screen. He puts it back down and looks at me. "It's 10:25" He whispers.
I stare at him for a moment, dread filling my body.
I don't care if we're late. I just want to spend more time with him...
"Come on, your dad will surely never let me see you again if I bring you back too late." He says and I nod, standing up.
Quietly, we dry ourselves off and he dresses me in his clothes. I even wear his sweats which are too long for me, but I don't care. He grabs my belongings and carefully places them into the bag I brought, and gently places it on my shoulders. He grabs the things we bought today, as well as the portrait I'm taking, and puts them in a bag.
"Let's wear our bracelets now." He suggests.
"Okay." I agree. We put them on, along with our rings.
I tap the small screen, and hear the vibration on Tsukishima's bracelet. I chuckle a bit and he repeatedly presses his, making mine buzz continuously.
"I'll annoy you with this all day." I look up at him, grinning.
"I can't wait." He smiles, leaning down to kiss me. "Though I can't wear it when I'm playing volleyball, so if I don't respond to you then that's why. Okay?" He asks and I nod. He presses his lips to mine once more and my heart aches.
We stand there, neither of us wanting to pull away just yet.
"We have to go. We're already late." He mumbles against my lips. I open my eyes, looking at him.
"Okay." I whisper.
He grabs my hand, holding the bag in his other, and we walk out of his house.
As we walk make way to my home, the two of us try to reassure each other that things will be fine, and that in two years we'll be able to see each other every day again.
"We'll text everyday."
"And call!"
"Exactly. It'll be just like how it is now. So there's no need to worry."
"Right, no need to worry. This is like uh...a long vacation!"
"Right, that's all it is."
But as we approach my home, and I see my parents waiting outside, I can't help but feel the fear of not having Tsukishima by my side crawl up my chest. I stop walking, only one house away from my own.
I hold on to Tsukishima's hand, turning around to quickly face him.
"I-I can't." I furiously shake my head.
All the fear, sadness, and panic that I've kept at bay is now exploding within me. My breathing becomes heavy, and tears blur my vision.
"I can't. I don't want to leave. I can't leave." I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his torso.
I was doing so well.
"I know baby...but we can't help it." He says quietly, wrapping his arms around me as well.
"Please don't leave me. Please, I want to stay. I don't want to go. Please, please! I can't do this without you." I sob, trying to control my breathing.
I'm a mess. I'm begging for him not to leave me when I'm the one who has to go.
"I-I'm not leaving you. Okay? I'll always be here for you. Just a little further away. You'll always have me. And our rings, remember? We have that too. And these bracelets- you can contact me whenever you want. You're strong, and you're beautiful. It's going to be okay. I promise." He whispers into my ear, holding me tightly.
"I need you." I say, taking deep breaths.
"And I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He reassures me.
"Mei, sweetie. We have to go..." I hear my mother call out to me.
Tsukishima squeezes me before pulling away. He wipes my face and gives me the softest smile ever.
"I love you. Everything will be okay." He says and I nod slowly.
"I love you too." I say, leaning forward so that I can kiss him.
~
I guess I should have known that all good things come to an end. Time is inevitable.
For a while, things were good between us still. He sent me pictures and videos of him at practice, highlights of his games, him and some teammates.
We talked about our ambitions, our goals, and what we want our future to look like.
We even visited each other a few times.
But of course...things coming to an end is bound to happen.
The visits stopped, and two years later the vibrations we'd send each other through our bracelets stopped as well.
I guess it was just time to start a new chapter in our lives.
I'm forever grateful to you, Tsukishima Kei.
( I sobbed like 5 different times while writing this. This chapter is also like twice as long as some other ones, but I think it's fine since it's the last chapter.
I usually try to keep all the stories I write only 25 chapters long, but for this one I was debating on making it longer. I didn't though, so this is the end. But I always write a bonus chapter! I always show where my characters are years after, so that's next!
I originally intended for this to be short- I didn't think I was going to write 25 chapters at all. But I fell in love with Tsukishima and Mei's relationship. They're literally Kei and Mei. That's adorable.
Anyways, thank you for reading this far :) I hope you enjoyed it. I have other stories about Tsukishima & some not about him if you want to check those out too!
Edit: I think I finished this somewhere in December of 2020 and it's now the end of April 2021...hehe.
I also wanted to say that as I was rereading this, I realized how fast the relationship moved in the beginning. It's bc I only planned to have this be like 10 chapters since I already wrote a Tsukki book and didn't really want to write another one (this was before I absolutely fell IN LOVE with him and now most of what I'm writing is about him 🧍🏽♀️) but since Tsukki is kinda of mean I thought he'd fit this role better.
Anyways, again, thank you for reading!