"Why have you been avoiding me?"
"I haven't been."
"Then what do you call ignoring my texts, calls, having your mother tell me that you're not 'up for visitors' when I come over...?"
"Space"
"Why do you need space?"
"I don't. You do." I say quietly, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"What? Why do you get to decide that?" He asks and I nervously rub my hands together.
"I don't want you to be mad. I want you to be happy. And you got angry the other day, because of me. I made you angry. So I thought that you needed some space." I sigh.
I look down at my hands and he doesn't say anything so I continue.
"I know that dating me is like babysitting. I'm difficult, I cause trouble for everyone. I know it's selfish that I continue to stick around, but I do anyways. Because I want to be with you, Tsukishima. But I want you to be happy. So...so if I don't make you happy-"
"Are you even listening to yourself?" He asks, causing me to tense up.
Tsukishima huffs out a breath, taking off his jacket and laying it on my chair. He lays down on my bed, but not before pulling me up and encasing me in his arms. We lay on our sides and I look up at him in surprise.
"If I didn't want to be around you anymore, I would have left a long time ago. And don't you dare say stupid shit like 'it's selfish that I stick around', ever again. Are you thinking about dying? That's the selfish part. If you weren't around anymore- I'd be going crazy." He sighs heavily. "I know I haven't been the nicest lately, I got into an argument with my brother. It wasn't good. I've been more impatient because of it. I'm sorry love. It won't happen anymore." He says, pulling me closer to him.
"Why do you always apologize after I try to apologize?" I pout, looking up at him.
Just by being in his arms, I feel a lot better.
"You should feel lucky, you're the only person I apologize to." He gives me a tiny smile and I return it.
"But your brother...is everything okay with you two?" I ask and he sighs.
"We'll be fine." He says and I bite my lip.
"Okay." I say quietly before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips.
He lets go of me, leaning over and putting his glasses on my nightstand before turning back to me.
"You're so beautiful." He says, getting on top of me. My eyes widen at the sudden movement, and a blush comes over my cheeks at the compliment.
"Y-You are." I mumble and he tilts his head, a small smile on his face.
"You think I'm beautiful?" He asks, chuckling.
"I think you're very attractive." I say quietly. "I-I like how long your hair has gotten too..."
"Oh? I was thinking of getting a haircut tomorrow. Maybe I won't anymore." He grins.
Before I went into a coma, his hair was quite short. Now it's longer and sticks up in different places. It's really cute, I like it.
"If it makes you happy, then cut it." I wrap my arms around him, essentially pulling him down closer.
"All that makes me happy, is you. So I'll keep it like this if you like." He dips down, beginning to place small kisses on my neck.
"T-Tsukishima..." My eyes flutter closed. "D-Don't leave a mark there. My parents will see."
"Hmm. Then maybe I need to do it somewhere lower." He lifts his head, smirking.
~
Tsukishima kisses my lips one last time before laying down next to me, both of our chests rising quickly as we try to catch our breaths.
"You did so well." He mumbles, pulling me to lay on top of him.
"Don't do that, I'm heavy." I say, but I'm too tired to fight back.
"You're not. Be quiet." He says, rubbing my back.
"Mmm." I only hum in response, reaching a hand up to play with his hair.
"Should I go start the shower for you?" He asks and I sigh in content.
"For us." I say then feel his body tense underneath mine.
"Us?" He questions.
I place a warm kiss to his chest before sitting up, straddling his torso.
"Look at me. All of me." I say quietly, placing my hands on his chest. He intakes a sharp breath, both of us blushing.
"W-What are you saying...? This feels illegal." He quickly looks away and a small chuckle comes from my lips before I turn serious.
"I'm trying my best to be comfortable right now. It's not easy for me either..." I say quietly, and he meets my eyes.
"Mei, you're naked." He says, not letting his eyes drift anywhere.
"Yeah, and you were just sucking on my-"
"Okay! Okay! Oh my god- where did this confidence come from?" He covers his face with his hands.
Even though he can't see me- a small, sad smile comes over my face. I'm trying hard to come to terms with my body, since it seems that I always cause him nothing but trouble because of it.
I thought that maybe if I stopped hiding it from him, stopped subconsciously pulling the blanket over me while we had sex, stopped covering myself with my hands- that maybe it would work. I thought that if I began to believe what he said about how I looked, that I wouldn't be much of a burden anymore.
But he won't even look at me.
"Ah, this was a silly idea. Sorry." I whisper, moving off of him and laying on my side, facing the opposite way of him. I quickly pull the covers over me, tucking myself in.
"Mei..." He turns towards me, putting an arm around my waist.
"Let's just go to sleep, okay?" I say quietly, closing my eyes tightly and stuffing my face into my pillow.
"Did I hurt your feelings?" He asks, moving my hair and kissing the back of my neck.
I move forward, away from him. My eyes begin to sting, and when I open them tears immediately fill to the brim.
"No." I say, though my voice breaks.
"Hey, come here." He sits up, pulling me with him. He pulls my back against his chest, and wraps his arms around me.
Haha...even now he doesn't want to see me.
"Tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it if I don't know what needs to be fixed." He tells me, holding both of my hands in his.
"I-I don't want to. I complain too much, I'm just being sensitive." I try to get out of his grasp, but he holds me there.
"Don't say that." He kisses the top of my head. "Look, the only reason why I didn't look at you is because I'm not used to it. You never say things like that, and you always would try to hide. I don't know...I didn't want to look at you because you were naked. You usually don't want me to look at you while you're naked, so it was kind of a surprise. But that doesn't change anything. I still love you the same."
"I just thought you'd be happy." I whisper, my shoulders dropping. "I know I always irritate you, and make you upset because we have different views on how I look. I thought that maybe if I tried to be more comfortable about showing myself to you, that I wouldn't be such a nuisance. I-I wanted to get used to you seeing me. I want to get used to believing what you say about me. I thought it'd help."
He removes his hands from me and turns me around. My eyes widen as I clutch the blanket and look up at him as he hovers over me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that's what you were trying to do. I don't...I still don't really get it though. You're trying to be more comfortable with yourself, right? You could have said that without calling yourself a nuisance and such. You know I don't think that way about you." His expression looks like one of regret, and he leans down to kiss me, cupping one of my cheeks.
He pulls away, giving me an encouraging smile- grabbing the blanket, slowing pulling it down. I squirm underneath his gaze, suddenly regretting this decision.
Why am I only now realizing how embarrassing this is?
"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He says, and a deep blush covers my face as well as the tips of my ears.
"L-Let's stop. This is embarrassing now." I say quietly but Tsukishima just laughs.
"No way, I'm going to make you believe my words this time. I'm going to kiss every single inch of your body- and I'll do it over and over again until you believe me." He smirks, leaning down to kiss my lips.
"D-Don't be silly." I say when he pulls away.
"When am I not serious?" He raises an eyebrow. He begins to place little kisses all over my face, and I giggle as he does. "I'm very serious!" He grins at me.
"No, you're acting silly." I laugh, wrapping my arms around him.
He wasn't, though.
He really was serious.
He whispered sweet nothings into the air as he kept his promise of kissing me- everywhere.
I felt loved. He treated me like I was the best prize he's ever received.
And this lead to a few more rounds of the night.
"I'm exhausted." I say, looking up at the ceiling through hooded eyelids. I lean further back against him, the water around us swooshing around as I do.
"We're in the bath, falling asleep right now wouldn't be such a good idea." He responds, tiredness seeping through his voice.
He wraps his arms tighter around me and I lay my head on his shoulder.
"You are so cute." I mumble. "Who knew you could be so romantic?"
I feel the vibrations of his laughter through his chest.
"You are probably the only person in the entire world who'd ever call me cute and romantic. Especially in the same sentence." He states, and a lazy smile comes over my face.
"I like that." I say quietly. "Then that means I'm the only person you're like this with."
"You are. I intend to keep it that way."
My heart flutters at his words, and it brings me comfort that he didn't add 'for a while' or something like that to the end of his sentence.
"Come on, let's get out now. Tomorrow, after I come home from school, I'll drop by and we can walk to my house. I have a surprise for you." He says and I sit up.
"A surprise?" I ask as the two of us stand up. He drains the tub, nodding.
"Yes. One that is very long overdue. I got nagged constantly because of it." He grabs my towel, wrapping it around my body before wrapping one around his waist.
"Nagged? By who?" I frown, stepping out of the tub and beginning to dry myself off.
"You'll see tomorrow." He groans. "To be honest, I don't want you to have it. I want us to stay here, but I'll just get bothered again."
I have no idea what he's talking about. Why would someone nag him about giving me a surprise?
"Then, should I buy a surprise for you?" I tilt my head, and once we're done drying off we walk into my room.
"No, no. It's nothing like that. It's- you'll just see." He says, grabbing some clothes from his school bag and getting dressed.
"Okay." I respond, walking to my closet. I put on a pair of shorts- keeping my towel around me as I try to decide on a shirt.
I feel someone yank it from behind, and it falls to the floor.
"Tsukishima!" I gasp, but the next thing I know is he's pulling something over my head.
"Put your arms through." He turns me around.
What is he putting on me?
I slip my arms through the sleeves and he pulls it down.
"It's my favorite hoodie. It looks a lot better on you than me. And it fits." He puts extra emphasis on the last word.
I look down, clutching the material as I stare at it. A small smile comes over my face, and a dorky giggle escapes my lips.
"Yeah...it does."
(Ive said it once and I'll say it again.
Tsukishima Kei is a salty asshole but he's 100% a sweet boy w his lover 🥰