"Welcome home sweetie!" My mom throws her hands up in the air as she pushes the door open for me.
"Thank you." I laugh, slipping off my shoes and holding the door open for Tsukishima to come in. "Where's dad?" I ask and my mother sighs.
"I don't even want to think about that man right now." She groans. "He's at work, being stubborn as hell."
"It's okay..." I give her a reassuring smile.
"Anyways, it's a happy day today! I'm going to start cooking for us three. You two go sit in the living room and watch something." She opens her arms and envelopes me into a hug. "I'm so glad you're back home." She says quietly before disappearing into the kitchen.
"Come on." Tsukishima grabs my hand and leads me to the living room. We sit on the couch, so close to each other that our legs and arms touch.
He wraps an arm around me, but I keep my hands in my lap.
"You can watch whatever you want." I say quietly.
I've been awake for two days now, and Tsukishima has not left my side except for school and his last volleyball game. He said he didn't want to talk about it because he wants to focus on rekindling our relationship, but I can't help but to think maybe he lost.
"I don't really want to watch anything. You can put something on." He replies and I grab the controller, switching the tv on.
I scroll through the recorded movies, trying to find what I know he likes.
Oh! There.
I press on Jurassic Park, and he snaps his neck to look at me.
"Why that one?" He asks curiously.
"Because it looked cool." I lie. His face falls but he nods, looking back up at the screen.
"I love you." He randomly says. I glance at him before scooting over on the couch to put some distance between us.
He keeps doing that. At random times, he'll just blurt out that he loves me. I don't like it. It makes me remember when I tried telling him and he...yeah.
Even though I forgave him in my head, it still hurts. The way he looked at me, the way his voice turned cold. It all hurts.
"Stop saying that..." I whisper.
"No." Is all he says before scooting over to wrap his arm around me again. "Are you tired? If you want, you can go take a nap."
"I was unconscious for weeks. I'm not exactly jumping at the idea of going to sleep." I snort and he sighs.
"I'm sorry" He mumbles.
"Stop apologizing. Stop telling me that you love me. You're like- I don't know. You're not like this." I bite the insides of my cheeks, pursing my lips.
If he was just mean and treated me like he treated other people, it would be fine. It's cute how soft he is, but it's off putting knowing it's because bad things happened.
"Then...how am I like? I thought you don't remember me." He raises an eyebrow and I mentally punch myself.
Duh, you big dummy! Now you exposed yourself.
"I-I remember little bits and pieces." I say. "Mostly it's you calling me stupid or staring at me with a blank face."
"Oh, sorry." His face falls. "Well, the fact what you got badly hurt made me realize that there's no point in trying to hide what I feel. It's what got you hurt in the first place. I know it's selfish of me, but I want to keep you by my side at all times. I want to protect you like I was supposed to. So I don't care about hiding my emotions with you anymore. I just want you." He cups my cheek with his free hand and rubs his thumb against my skin.
Idiot! Stupid Tsukishima! My plan isn't working.
He's so sweet. I can't do this anymore.
"Let's forget everything that happened, okay? You keep apologizing and blaming it on yourself and it hurts to see you like that. It's not your fault. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. You can hurt me a million times and I'll forgive you. But I don't want to feel this way again so please just...promise you won't do it again." I say quietly and he sighs.
"I knew it." He rests his forehead against mine. "I knew you remembered, but I was kind of hoping you really did forget me."
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face into his chest as I feel tears spring to my eyes.
"I wanted to. I'm sorry, but I hated you for a little bit. It still hurts when I think about it, but I'm trying to forget. I forgive you. You're the only person who's ever cared about me so I'll forgive you no matter what you do." I feel him wrap his arms around me, and he holds me tightly, placing one hand on the back of my head and stroking my hair.
"You won't have to forgive me for anything more. I'll never hurt you again. I love you so much, okay? I'm sorry I was an asshole. I was scared. I'll never hide how I feel again. I don't want to hurt you again." He lets out a sigh and I push down my tears. No more crying.
"Alright. I trust you." I pull away from him and give him a small smile. "Let's just move forward, okay? It's depressing to keep talking about this, don't you think?"
"I'll do whatever you want." He says and I chuckle.
I face back towards the tv, leaning into his side and lacing my hand in his as I lay my head on his shoulder.
"I can't believe I got hit by a stupid car." I say out loud. "That's so embarrassing."
"Embarrassing?" Tsukishima questions, putting his arm around me again.
"Yeah, that's so embarrassing. So many people had to have seen it." I laugh and he turns his head to look at me like I'm crazy.
"You're talking so lightly about it." He frowns.
"It's kind of funny." I note but he scoffs, leaning back in his seat.
"It's not funny at all." He says blankly.
"Come on, it's a little funny." I poke his side with my free hand.
"It's not. You could have died. You're so weird." He responds and I frown.
I turn around, climbing into his lap and facing him.
"You don't like me laughing about it because you feel guilty." I say, but it's not a question. He looks at me for a moment before looking away. I snake my arms around his shoulders and smile. "Let's try again."
"Try what again?" He frowns, looking at me. "You want to get hit again?" He asks, confused.
"No, silly." I lightly hit his shoulder. I look into his eyes and remember him telling me that I'm easy.
I remember the dark, condescending look he gave me while he said it. Then I remember his confession on the first day I was at the hospital, and then again weeks later. I remember my mother talking to my father about how he's been coming every day and just sitting in the waiting room. I remember hearing him sob, apologizing over and over again.
Right now, the pros outweigh the cons.
"Why are you crying?" He asks worriedly, his shoulders dropping.
Am I crying? He reaches up and wipes my face.
I guess I was.
A small, trembling laughter comes from my lips.
"I love you." I say quietly, feeling a huge weight lift from my shoulders when he gives a sigh of relief.
"I love you too." He whispers, pulling me against him. "I've waited 50 days, hoping you'd say those words to me."
I sniffle, chuckling a bit. I lean forward, pressing my lips against his in a gentle but eager kiss. We melt into each other but I soon pull away in case my mother walks in. I lay my head on his shoulder, sighing in content.
"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." I whisper, making his grip on me tighten.
"Don't start that. I don't want to hear you say something like that. You didn't do anything." He says softly, though there's pain in his voice.
"I ran out the house...I couldn't even think. I didn't see or hear anything. I just remember telling myself I had to get away."
"It's because of what I said. So you can't blame yourself." He rubs my back.
"Actually, it's because of what I was saying." I chuckle slightly and he groans.
"I thought we weren't going to talk about this anymore." He says, sounding serious.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." I lift my head, chuckling a bit. "I really missed you." I say, pecking his lips before getting off his lap and cuddling into his side again.
"I missed you too. Were you able to hear us the whole time? One time you were moving your pinky when I was asking you questions but you never did it again so I thought maybe it was just a coincidence."
"I could hear you guys. And that wasn't a coincidence! I heard you but I just couldn't do it again. It was really frustrating." I pout, crossing my arms.
"How did it feel?" He asks and I think for a moment.
"To be honest...although I wanted to just wake up and give you guys all hugs- especially when the entire team came- I think it was the most peaceful time of my life. I wasn't bothering anyone, it was just me and my mind. It sounds horrible, but it was quite nice." A small smile plays on my lips, but when I look at Tsukishima it disappears.
He looks crushed.
"B-But I'm awake now! And I like this too, because now I can finally reach out to you. And kiss you, like this-" I lean up and press my lips to his for a quick second. "See?"
He gives me a small smile, nodding.
"The food is ready!" My mother calls out.
"Let's go." He says, standing up and pulling me with him. I walk behind him as we enter the dining room.
We sit next to each other as my mother puts the food in the middle of the table and passes us plates.
"So, how are you two getting along?" My mother smiles at us.
"We made up." I smile brightly. She looks at me, her eyes softening and she chuckles.
"That's good sweetie. So I assume you...?" She looks at me curiously, putting some food on her plate.
"Oh, yeah. I told him." My cheeks flush, looking away.
"You also knew that she was pretending?" Tsukishima gasps, putting food on my plate before putting some on his.
"Sorry Tsukishima-Kun, she told me not to tell!" My mother laughs, my boyfriend giving a small chuckle.
"It's fine. Let's just enjoy this warm food." He smiles.
Ah, how I missed that look.
"Thank you for the meal!"