Drak had headed off on his little willing human hunt and I was left to my own devices for a while. Though Drak was a total pain in the butt, he was one of the few vampires that I did not need to watch like a hawk while in my home.
The other vampires who knew of him likely would have called him a hippy, if they had only been old enough to know what the word meant.
Sometimes, it was like I lived alone in a different world, parallel to the real one, but not quite touching anyone, even the other vampires in my midst. Other than the handful of other old vampires left, no one remembered the civilization that we had dismembered and brought to its knees.
It had been so big, so vast, so intricate, but it had fallen like a house of cards. It had been ridiculously easy to knock the structure to the ground.
That was another good thing about Drak. Like me, he remembered. When I spoke of things of the former world, he did not give me that confused stare I was so accustomed to. I knew the other old ones, but I was not so close to any of them.
Most of the other vampires I had cared about were long gone. I had thoughtlessly joined the wars on the side of the vampires in a fit of grief after seeing my beloved sister fledgling brutally murdered and having scarcely escaped with my own existence intact. My sire had been killed shortly thereafter and I lost many friends, besides. Before I knew it, I was in the thick of the battles, destroying the very world that I had once enjoyed slipping through like a shadow.
I came to regret the part I had played in the suppression of humans over the years. The first sparks of misgivings had come even before the wars were completed, but I had already been in too deep to back out.
The humans believed us to be cold monsters, but at that time I and others had let ourselves be ruled by emotion, something I had ever since sought to avoid.
Drak, on the other hand, had stayed out of the battles entirely, choosing to continue to hide amongst the very humans who wanted to destroy us. Our peers still remembered his disloyalty and looked down on him and his ilk for it.
I did not hide my disdain for such traitors amongst the other vampires, but secretly I envied them their innocence in not taking part in the forming of the bleak world we now inhabited.
This was the downside of Drak's visits, because along with the sense of nostalgia for a lost age, he dredged up unpleasant memories I preferred to ignore, like the very musings in which I was currently wallowing. Thankfully, footsteps sounded outside my doors just in time to distract me from my unentertaining melancholy. "Open," I commanded my guards.
The doors opened and Leif came inside. He looked stiffer than usual as he gave me a respectful nod. "What is it, Leif?"
He paused, inhaled deeply and finally said, "Trisha and Jamie are now branded."
I did not fail to notice how his voice caught on Jamie's name.
"Oh?" I was very unhappy with the information, but I was not going to lash out at Leif for doing what in truth had to be done, regardless of the strange regret curling in my stomach.
He inhaled again. "I know you were stalling, but it could not wait much longer. It's been more than a month, and you know as well as I that you do not need additional scrutiny on your affairs. I am prepared to take my punishment for overstepping my bounds."
I sighed without breath. "No, you're right."
He tried to hide it, but his relief was apparent in the slight slackening of his form.
"I was taking too long to get it done." I did not want to consider why that might be.
"I'll take responsibility, and tell him I made the decision, if you wish."
I shook my head. "No, don't worry about that."
"If I may, if you told him the tr—"
"You may not. I'm already aware of your opinions on the matter, Leif. I do not need to hear you repeat it yet again. Your parrot performance is quite boring."
He was discontented, but I hardly cared. Perhaps I was being frivolous, but I was just not ready to stop playing with the human yet.
Deep down, perhaps I feared what would be left when the pleasure of the struggle was gone. He had only been here a few weeks, an infinitesimally small fraction of my existence, but I was already dreading what would happen when it was over.
Did my other humans sense the terrible weakness that was growing inside me? Did I manage to hide my own new special brand of cowardice well enough that even Leif could truly not see it?
Hoping was all I could do because I could not ask. Asking would be the confirmation in his mind. It was best to simply act as if all was well, as if the ground had not shifted under my feet, because I could not afford weakness, now more than ever. So much was riding on what I did.
I had climbed so high in the hierarchy that the fall would surely destroy me and all my humans along with me. The only solution to the risk was that I could simply never allow myself to fall.
* * * * *
"Very funny," Drak said to me as he walked into my chamber. He strode over to me while I lounged on my favourite chaise and rudely shoved my legs off to make room for himself.
"Ouch."
"That didn't hurt. You're such a liar."
"Thank you, I know. Wait, what precisely are you claiming I'm lying about this time?"
"Two females who would gladly share their blood? I found them, in the kitchens. Madeline and Ashley?"
"Did I lie, though?"
"They're both in their seventies, Vienne."
I shrugged and prepared my most innocent expression. "Sixties, and that's like a blink of an eye in your lifetime, Drak. I didn't think you'd be so ageist. Besides, you're way older than they are. If anything, you're the one cradle blood robbing."
He ignored my very logical points. "I would probably kill either if I drank from them, Vienne, and you know how I feel about—"
"Bleeding heart speech commence, blah, blah, blah. They could handle it so long as you were careful, my humans are hardy."
"You're acting like a complete bitch. Why did I ever miss you?"
"Because I'm delightful and you love me and stop acting like you're surprised. And stop whining. There're lots of humans who would probably give you blood around here, but I bet you simply went around asking about what I told you."
"That's not what happened."
"Right."
I called out to my guards, "Soren, could you go and find someone willing to donate some blood for my friend here?"
"I'll volunteer, Mistress," he said.
"There you go, Drak."
"I prefer—"
"There is no way you survive out in the wilds there without dedicated humans without taking what you can get. Go on, feed, and then we'll find something fun to do around here when you're done."
Drak sighed, but he headed off and Soren went along willingly enough. I had acquired Soren young, when he was just fourteen, and he had been a dedicated servant of mine ever since.
Most vampires did not want young feeders, except the most perverse amongst our number. The general accepted consensus was that their size made them largely useless for blood production, but I believed that many vampires still held a sad sort of sentimentality for the young. Of course no one would admit to that, or perhaps it was merely revulsion at the life cycle that had left us behind.
I avoided young humans for my own reasons which were that they were typically boring and disorderly, but if one ignored them for a few years they became so much more useful and entertaining.
Still, I had taken Soren in despite my better judgement since and had not been disappointed, though it had taken years before I could properly use him as a feeder.
He was a very good guard, so I did not mind waiting, and starting his training a bit younger had paid off dividends.
Still, I was not going to start taking in foundlings as a rule. Natural selection helped weed out weak humans for me. If they could not even survive childhood then what use were they to my plans? They were on their own.
A short while later, Drak returned, his mood improved.
"Come, let's play a game," I suggested.
"When do you ever stop?"
I ignored his grousing. It was not as if I had invited him here. Drak walked beside me.
"So, tell me what you've been doing in the last few years."
"Well, nothing too out of the ordinary. About a year after I saw you last, I discovered a band of open-minded nomads and have been wandering with them ever since."
"Do they know what you are?"
"They do."
I eyed him skeptically. "It's almost like you've found your own feral human slaves. If you're not careful, you're going to become domesticated."
"They're not slaves, they're free humans, but yes, they do help me out from time to time. And I help them in return, so it's a mutually beneficial relationship."
"You're such a softie."
"Perhaps I am, but you're little better."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I beg to differ."
"You treat your humans fairly well."
"Not properly maintaining my possessions would be short-sighted."
"You largely let them manage themselves."
"That's not generosity, it's called delegating. Micromanaging is boring." I rolled my eyes.
He just kept trying to figure me out this visit and it was starting to annoy me. "You still dislike branding your humans, although I cannot quite reconcile that with your latest bill."
"I have no problem branding my humans."
"Your human slave is the one who finally did it, not you."
I frowned at him. He was stepping over the line.
"I heard whispers while I was on the willing human hunt you sent me on," he explained with a shrug.
I sighed. "Listen, I just don't like marring my humans with ugly scars, it's nothing more than that."
"So, why brand the free humans?"
"If my humans have to have brands, then the feral ones should, too. It's only reasonable for the sake of consistency."
"You're lying."
"I'm always lying, except when I'm not. I'm even lying when I say I'm not lying. Lying inception." I pulled to a stop and glared at him. "But I do not need you running around telling all the feral humans that I'm something I am not. The last thing I need is more humans wandering up to my properties and begging for work or food or shelter again. It makes me look bad. The feral branding initiative took care of that problem nicely, but give a starving human an excuse and they'll be bothering me yet again."
"It does not make you look bad."
"To the handful of bleeding hearts, perhaps, but I gain nothing from pleasing your sort. You've barely got more power than the humans. While it's none of your business, Drak, I happen to have my own plans and I do not need you jeopardizing them with your overwrought kindness."
"Plans?"
"Not your concern." No matter how tempting it might be to have another vampire in my confidence, I did not need Drak getting involved. He was a weak link. Besides, I liked being the only vampire in my cloud of humans.
His brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to puzzle me out. "Stop doing that."
"Stop doing what?" He raised his eyebrows in expectation of my answer.
"Overthinking everything. You can't make me out into the good guy no matter how hard you try. Now come and amuse me before I kick your shiftless butt out of my home."
* * * * *
Drak stayed and amused me for a week, before he decided to head off on his own again. I did not push him to go earlier, because he really was a good distraction from the temptation of seeking out Jamie more often. I likely would not be able to resist pushing his buttons and it rather seemed unsporting when he was under the weather thanks to overbearing vampiric law.
I did, of course, still know how he was doing. Both my newest humans' wounds were healing and without infection, which pleased me.
It was Dean who kept me abreast of Trisha's wellbeing, because he was completely infatuated. I did not protest, although I did caution him to ensure that they did not accidentally conceive a pregnancy. His embarrassment at the order had been most entertaining.
The forms required to legally breed a pair of humans were an onerous chore by design and the waiting period was two years to prevent inattentive vampires from attempting to sweep such crimes under the rug. Slaves were not to act as if they had their own interests.
However, I allowed it. I enjoyed a little human drama; it had been nice to observe Dean and Jeffry competing amongst themselves for her favour, rather like my own personal little soap opera. It must have been a difficult decision. While not the bulkiest of my guards, Jeffry was well formed and quite tall, with olive skin and curly black hair, whereas my silent Dean was a mountain of a man with muscles worthy of a romance cover.
I might have put my money on Jeffry because he was the more outgoing of the two, but alas, Trisha apparently preferred the quietly protective teddy bear type.
I received regular reports about Jamie's activities from a number of sources. He had done little for the first several days after he had been branded, but then he had made his way back to the gym and begun lightly training. It must have hurt, but I instructed my servants to allow him to do what he pleased while healing, so long as he listened to my medical humans.
And finally, the morning after Drak had left, I allowed myself to go and seek out my undoubtedly furious human.