"How are you feeling about leaving today?" Elliot asked Olivia as he packed up their belongings, setting their duffle bag against the wall by the door.
She shrugged, sitting in the chair nursing Max, "Happy to be able to be in our own home but nervous all the same."
"What are you nervous about? You've been doing great," he encouraged, standing behind her and kissing the top of her head, massaging her neck.
"We'll be all alone with him...no nurses or doctors...what if something happens?" She sighed, looking up to her husband for support and guidance, he didn't disappoint.
He kneeled in front of her, resting his hands in her knees and giving a gentle squeeze, "You have better instincts than anyone I know...you're a phenomenal mother. Anything that happens we'll face it together, I'll be by your side the whole time."
Her hand found one of his, lacing their fingers together, "Thank you."
"Anything for you," he smiled, kissing her lips softly. Waiting for Max to be finished feeding so he could take him from her, settling him on his shoulder and burping him. "The nurse said she would be by in a little bit so we can sign some papers and be on our way," he told her, rocking Max in his arms, staring down at his little features and smiling.
Olivia loved watching her husband with their son, the way his face softened and the light shined in his eyes as he admired the infant made her fall harder for him with every passing moment. He felt eyes on him and he picked his head up, giving in an innocent smile, "What?"
She shook her head, a wistful smile gracing her face, "Seeing you with him...it's just incredible to me."
"I love you," he told her, bending down to kiss her lips.
"I love you, too," she replied, caressing her husband's cheek and kissing him once more.
The nurse came in a little while later, letting them sign some papers for Max and the release form for Olivia to finally go home.
"I'm not using that. I'm perfectly capable of walking out of here on my own," Olivia said certainly, crossing her arms over her chest as best she could with her winter coat on, starring distastefully at the wheel chair they were trying to get her in.
"M'am, it's hospital protocol," the nurse told Olivia, hoping to encourage her to just sit so she could move on to her next patient.
"I'll sign whatever I have to so I don't have to get wheeled out of here like some kind of invalid," Olivia replied, holding her own.
"Can you give us a minute?" Elliot cut in, giving the nurse and apologetic look as she nodded, leaving the couple alone as asked.
She sighed, looking at Elliot as he set the car seat on the ground with their son tucked safely inside. "I'm still not leaving here in a wheel chair."
He tried not to laugh but couldn't keep back his smile. His wife was as stubborn as ever and he couldn't decide if it was because she felt stronger than that, she didn't want to be told she was weak or if it was because with everything that had changed in their lives she was trying to take control of whatever she could. "Okay."
"Okay?" She repeated, taken slightly off guard by his calm ans short reply.
Elliot shrugged, sitting on the bed across from where she stood, "Yeah, we'll just unpack, have Fin bring all of Noah and Max's stuff, maybe some clothes for us and we can live here for the rest of our lives." She smiled but tears gathered in her eyes and her body sagged, dragging herself forward into Elliot's waiting arms, her head falling to his chest. "Baby, it's okay...everything's okay," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back soothingly.
She nodded against him, her hands coming to rest against his chest near her face.
"What do you need from me? What can I do to make this easier for you?" He asked her softly, kissing the top of her head.
"Just hold me for a sec and I'll get in the wheel chair and let you push me out of here," she mumbled against his jacket, taking a deep breath and listening to his heart beat.
He held her for a few minutes, brushing his fingers through her hair until she pulled away and he wiped the tears from her face, "You ready to go?"
"Yes, I'm ready," she said with a nod, lowering herself into the wheel chair and Elliot set the car seat on her lap. She checked on Max, caressing his cheek before lowering the car seat cover to protect her newborn from the cold weather.
Elliot pushed his wife and son down the hallway, hopping onto the elevator and then out the front doors of the hospital to where he had pulled the car around. He settled Max's car seat into the base and then helped Olivia in to the back seat next to the baby before jumping in the front seat, "Let's go home."
They pulled into their driveway after a calm and quiet drive, finding only Lizzie's car waiting for them.
"I told everyone that today was just going to be us. I wanted everything to go smoothly and get you and the little man settled in without complete chaos," Elliot told her, putting the car in park.
"Lizzie had Noah for the day?" Olivia asked and he nodded, getting out of the car and making his way to her side to help her out. "Thank you," she said softly, holding his hand as he guided her safely to the ground.
"You're welcome," he nodded, kissing her forehead and getting the car seat out, taking her hand back in his free one as they made their way along the snow cleared pathway and up the steps to the front door.
The door swung open and revealed Lizzie holding Noah on her hip while Jax sat next to her leg, his tail wagging furiously as his owners made their way into the house.
"Hi guys, do you need help with anything?" Lizzie asked, giving her Dad a hug and then Olivia.
"Mama," Noah squealed, leaning out from his older sister to reach for his mother.
"Hi baby boy," Olivia smiled, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his cheeks. "I'm not supposed to carry anything too heavy, can you bring him over to the couch?"
"Sure thing," Lizzie replied, closing the front door behind her Dad and then following them to the living room, settling Noah on the couch so he could crawl over to Olivia.
She cuddled Noah close as he sat on her lap, burying his face in her chest, kissing his head and rubbing his back, "Are you gonna be my little cuddle bug today?"
"I bet he's happy to have you home," Elliot said, setting the car seat down in front of him and sitting next to Olivia, kissing Noah's cheek.
"Is Max sleeping? I kinda wanted to see him," Lizzie said, letting Jax out and coming to sit in the living room.
Elliot lifted up the face part of the weather protector on the car seat, "He's sleeping but you can get him out. I'm sure he won't even notice."
Lizzie smiled, working the zipper down over the car seat and unbuckling her baby brother, gently lifting the bundled up newborn from his cozy seat. "Hello sleepy head," she cooed as Max stretched out his arms, letting out a tiny yawn and then curling himself back up in her arms.
"You can take off his jacket and just use one of the blankets, let him breathe a little," Olivia told her step daughter, watching as she stroked Max's cheek and then gently pulled off his little winter coat.
"Are you guys hungry? Should we order a pizza or something?" Elliot asked, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair and grabbing a couple of waters from the refrigerator.
"We made you guys dinner for the next couple weeks, stocked your freezer," Lizzie told them, kissing her little brothers forehead.
"You and your sisters?" Elliot asked, completely surprised and amazed by his children.
"Mhm, and Mom helped on one condition," she told her father, looking up to him from the floor. "She just wants to see Max after you guys get settled."
"I think that can be arranged," Olivia said with a smile. "We'll have to call her and thank her for helping out."
"Definitely," Elliot agreed, relaxing on the couch next to his wife.
"Why don't you guys go take a nap? I'll watch the little guy?" Lizzie offered.
"That sounds like a good idea," Elliot murmured, kissing Olivia's temple and hoping she agreed.
She looked to Max who seemed content and knew that she would be up in an hour or so to feed him anyway, "Okay. Come get us if you need anything, he'll need to eat in an hour or so but if he gets fussy before then just wake me up."
"Sure thing," Lizzie nodded, happy to be having some responsibility and some time with Max.
Elliot took Noah and helped Olivia up, guiding her up the stairs and getting her settled in bed. He set Noah on the bed, got out of his jeans and into sweat pants, sliding into bed next to his wife and son.
"Nigh nigh?" Noah asked as Olivia cuddled him closely against her.
"Yeah, baby boy, we're gonna go night night for a little," Olivia said softly, stroking her fingers through her son's hair and across his cheek.
"I love you," Elliot murmured, leaning over to kiss her forehead and then Noah's. "Love you little man."
Two hours later found Olivia nursing peacefully in Max's bedroom, gently rocking in the glider and admiring her newborn. "You're so incredible, Max," she cooed, stroking a finger across his cheek as they puffed when he swallowed. "I hope one day you'll understand how much I love you...how honored I am to be your Mom...I hope I make you proud," she said softly, leaning down and kissing his soft curls as his eyes got heavy, slowly blinking up at her through blue eyes and spidery lashes. "You're not gonna miss anything, I promise," she smiled, rubbing his tiny foot in her hand and watching as he finally succumbed to sleep. She rocked him for a while longer, enjoying the quiet because she knew that it wouldn't last.
Sliding her finger into the side of the baby's mouth, she broke the suction and pulled him away from her breast, fixing her bra and T-shirt before pushing herself up from the chair, "I know I'm supposed to put you down so you can sleep, but I don't think you mind." She kissed his forehead and walked down the stairs to find the rest of her family.
"Hey, are you alright? You could have called for me," Elliot said, rushing to help Olivia down the last few stairs to the basement.
"I'm fine, I promise. We were just looking for everyone," she smiled, squeezing his hand and following him over to the couch.
"Noah's burning off some energy," he told her with a chuckle. They could see Lizzie and Noah playing in the play room across from them, running around and laughing.
"As long as he's having fun that's all I care about. Life for him might be a little boring for the next couple of weeks," she sighed, relaxing into the couch and Elliot wrapped his arm around her.
"He won't even notice, babe. As long as you're around...his world is complete," he told her, threading his fingers through her hair. She looked to him and he kissed her softly, already knowing what was going through her mind, "I promise you that he's going to be fine...that he knows you love him and that you'll always be there for him, that you're his mother."
"God, I love you," she said with a small smile, kissing him again.
"Love you too," he replied, kissing her temple. "Mind if I take him?"
"Not at all, he needs some Daddy time," Olivia smiled, kissing Max's head and Elliot gently took him, kissing his cheek before settling him on his chest.
"Eli is coming over in a little, I hope you don't mind?" he asked her.
"Not at all, I'm feeling pretty good right now and I'm sure Noah would love to see him," she said, kissing his shoulder and leaning against him.
"Thank you," he said softly, rubbing his son's back and breathing in the intoxicating baby smell that was even better because he smelled like Olivia too. "I talked to him a little bit ago and we can't hold him off anymore," he chuckled and Olivia smiled, resting her forehead against his temple. "I told him he has to be calm so I guess we'll see how that goes."
Olivia chuckled, kissing his temple, "I'm sure he'll be fine, he's just excited to meet Max and he probably misses you too."
"Missing you is more like it," he smiled, turning to kiss her forehead.
"Daddy," Eli called, coming down the stairs with Dickie close behind him.
"Li," Noah called, looking over the couch as his brother jumped off the last step and bounded in the room.
"Noah," he smiled, running around the couch to give him a hug.
"Hey buddy," Elliot smiled and Eli jumped up on the couch to hug his Dad.
"Where's Livvie and Max?" He asked, looking around the room.
"Upstairs in his room, you can go up just knock on the door first, okay?" Elliot told him, squeezing him tight and kissing his head.
"Okay," he nodded, hopping off his Dad's lap and running back up the stairs.
"He was really excited the whole drive over," Dickie told his Dad, sitting down on the couch next to him and tickling Noah.
"Livvie," Eli whispered, knocking softly on the cracked door.
Olivia was just finishing up burping Max, "Come on in Eli."
He pushed the door open and walked in, stopping next to where she sat in the glider, "Hi."
"Hi, sweetie," she smiled, tucking Max in the crook of her arm to give Eli a hug and kiss on his cheek.
He hugged her around the neck and then looked down at his baby brother, "He's small."
She smiled, nodding her head and brushing her free hand through his blonde curls, "He is very tiny, but you were just as small when you were born."
"Really?" He asked in awe, leaning against the arm of the glider and looking up at her.
"Yeah, you were this tiny squirmy little thing...I was the first one to hold you after your Mom," she told him, not for the first time realizing why they shared a special bond, why she loved him from the beginning whether or not she was his biological mother.
"You were?" He asked her with a smile.
"I was," she smiled, kissing his forehead. "You wanna hold Max?"
Eli's eyes went wide and he nodded his head, "I want to."
"Okay," Olivia said, holding Max against her and standing up from the glider. "Why don't you sit down and I'll grab a pillow for you so you can hold him?"
"Okay," he smiled, jumping up into the glider and pushing himself back.
Olivia grabbed the nursing pillow, tucking it against Eli and the arm of the chair, kissing Max's forehead and settling him into Eli's waiting arms, "Hold him tight."
Eli had his arms wrapped around him and he was gently rubbing his brothers head, "His hair's like mine."
"It is, his eyes look like yours and your Daddy's too," she said, watching as Eli interacted with Max and feeling her heart swell with so much love.
"Hey, can anyone join?" Elliot asked softly, standing against the doorway with the Stabler grin plastered across his face.
"Of course," Olivia replied, giving him a smile over her shoulder.
"You're amazing," Elliot said softly, kissing the back of Olivia's head as she nursed Max at two in the morning. He rubbed her shoulders and neck, letting her lean against him.
She rested her head against his chest as his hands worked on her tense muscles, "Thanks for doing this...you should be sleeping...at least someone should."
"Not how it works. You're up, I'm up," he told her, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Well Daddy," she started, moving Max so she could fix her top, "Can you grab a diaper and some wipes because someone's gonna need his diaper changed."
"I can do you one better," he said, sliding out from behind her and grabbing what he needed from the pack and play they had set up in the corner of the room. She raised her eyebrow giving him a smirk as she burped the baby, "I'll even change him."
"My savior," she smiled, letting Elliot take the baby and she laid back down, watching them at the foot of the bed.
"Little man, that is one full diaper," he cooed, unsnapping the onesie his son had on and pulling it up over his tummy. He made funny faces and kissed his belly as he cleaned his son up and got him ready to go back down until his next feeding. "Alright Max, you're fed, clean and definitely tired," Elliot chuckled as his son's eyes drifted closed and his hands rested on his belly. He kissed his son's forehead, whispered how much he and Olivia loved him and then laid him down in the bassinet next to their bed.
"Good job," she smiled softly, giving her husband a small peck on the lips as he slid into bed next to her.
"You too," he said, brushing his fingers through her hair. He flicked off the light switch on the bedside table and turned laying face to face with his wife, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay, obviously sore and tired but I think that's probably something I'm going to have to get used to," she told him, finding one of his hands and lacing her fingers through his.
"I don't want to hurt you...but can I hold you," he asked, hoping she would let him.
Elliot wasn't usually one to ask and his voice sounded small, the look in his eyes let her know that something wasn't right, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he tried but he saw her look and knew that she wasn't going to accept that. "I don't know," he shrugged, holding her hand against his chest, "Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...everything's so perfect and I'm just waiting for something to come along and screw it all up."
Olivia rested her free hand against his cheek, "I know what you mean, but we can't think like that...live like that. We have to enjoy every moment we have without constantly worrying about what's coming our way." She kissed his forehead, "Anything that gets thrown at us...we can handle it, together." She wrapped his arms around her and rested her head on his chest, holding on to him tightly, "I love you."
Every day he loved her more. Every kind and loving act made him love her more, and tonight was no exception. "I love you, too. I love you," he murmured, kissing her temple and settling into bed with the love of his life in his arms.