"Shoe Shoe, my boy, I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore!" You stormed out of William Linoleum Shuester's house and walked right into the road, your dress barley hanging off of your body.
Every time a car came flying at you, you would jump as high as kangaroo and land on top of the car. Car surfing was your favorite hobby- only when you didn't get caught by the cops, though. It was relaxing. Feeling the wind blow through your hair filled you with an overwhelming sense of tranquillity. Even though people would shout at you to, "Get the fuck off" their cars, you felt like car surfing was the only thing that could help you escape real life and think on your own.
As you leaped through the air with grace, you landed on a silver 2019 Honda Civic. It felt oddly familiar, but you couldn't place where you had seen the car. That was, until you saw the driver. The man in the car rolled down his window and shouted at you for standing on his windshield.
"(Y/n)," he said. "I can't see the road with you standing on my car like that. Though I do appreciate your lacy Shrek panties."
With your face burning you replied, "Oh Mister Clean, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to distract you from your important business." You swiftly adjusted your position to slip into Mr. Cleans car through his window. It was only cracked a sliver, so you really had to manifest your skinny legend dreams to fit.
"Wow, you're really smexby, (Y/n). You should consider becoming a prostitute."
"No," you say, appalled by the idea. "I will NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE participate in capitalism. If you want seks, I'm not taking money."
"That's good," said Mr. Clean, smirking. "Because I am so fucking broke I can't even afford to pay my rent and I don't have enough money to buy food for myself. I grew up with working class parents in a poor neighborhood and everybody always told me that if I worked hard enough I could be successful, but I worked so hard and I never got anywhere. I did everything right, but now I'm working 40+ hours a week at a minimum wage job and I still don't make enough money to survive."
And then you gave Mr. Clean a blowjob in a Wendy's parking lot.
Author's Note: this story isn't finished, but i would like to thank my squife for listening to me read the fanfic even though they hate it. id also like to say that capitalism is crapitalism and i hate my dad.
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Jesus X Reader
Romance(Y/n) has been looking for a boyfriend for so long. She has tried everything: dating apps, talking to random people, dating her friends exes, asking out ALL of her friends, and even banging deer in the woods. She was so close to giving up on love en...
