State of Mind

Part Five

I'd never believed in God.

Not one bone in my body had ever been religious; I never prayed, I never went to church and I certainly didn't live by the bible.

But being with her was, in my eyes, a spiritual experience. She was the closest I'd ever get to believing in something, and her name was the only prayer that left my lips.

No, I'd never believed in God, but damn did I believe in her.

"I want you to be comfortable" her words slid smoothly from her lips, her eyes blown with lust as she looked directly at me, as if she'd never get to see me again. With a light blush dusted faintly across the expanse of her cheeks, she stared at me and I saw every single decision I'd made leading up to this staring straight back at me.

"I'm not uncomfortable" I offer weakly, unable to look away from the piercing gaze she had steadily held upon my own eyes.

"You can tell me anything, Dolly. There's nothing you could say that would make me look at you any differently than I am right now" she confessed, running the tip of her smooth index finger lightly down my arm, leaving a trail of heat and fire in her wake.

Then, to reassure me, she broke free from her list-driven composure just long enough to squeeze my hand tightly within her own. Suddenly, the gaze locked with my own was momentarily concerned.

"I would feel more comfortable if you told me how you're feeling. Please" she tacks on, so I know that she is quite serious about the state of my well-being.

I'd be lying if I said my stomach wasn't absolutely littered with butterflies all flying every which way; a hurricane of butterflies that only she could provoke.

"I'm nervous" I'd confessed, looking down at my sock-clad feet anxiously. I knew I shouldn't have been nervous, but I couldn't help it; when presented with someone as beautiful as Arizona, you'd be crazy not to be nervous.

"Oh my Dolly" she murmured, pulling me close to her so she could wrap her arms around my slender body. Her warmth felt nice, comforting, and as crazy as it sounds I could feel my insecurities melt slowly away with every touch.

"You're okay with me; I'll take good care of you. I promise" She had vowed, her hand on the back of my head as I breathed in nervously, my face tucked in the crook of her neck. Like a small child, I sought comfort, and it seemed that she was more than willing to oblige.

"I trust you, Arizona" I whispered into her soft skin, willing myself the courage to lie down and just relax.

"Good, sweetheart, that's good" she said, her tone sounding relieved "Now, let's lie down. I'll lie with you, and you can tell me what feels good. How does that sound?" She proposes, leading me by the hand to her bed, which was just as crisp and as clean as the last time I'd been on it.

"Okay" I manage to get out, moving so that I was laying flat down on her bed while she laid in a C shape next to me, encasing me and making sure I felt safe.

"Okay sweetheart, my little Dolly girl" she cooed encouragingly into my ear. I felt my cheeks burn crimson, but still I remained, eyes closed and unwavering, laying completely at her mercy.

"You're such a perfect, perfect girl. You're gorgeous, the closest thing I'd ever seen to a porcelain doll. You're more beautiful than anything I could've ever conjured up; that's what convinced me that you were made for me" she whispers hotly into my ear, one hand running up and down the expanse of my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake.

"You looked so scared to see me" she continued on, sliding her hand up my shirt to casually run across two already hardened nipples. "Your little doe eyes were so wide, so innocent..." she trails off, and I can physically feel myself heating up, everywhere.