𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ⭢ 𝖬𝖩

❦ eight.

She was sitting in the stool that was placed at the desk I'd bought for my room not too long ago, just to add on to room decor. The desk was helpful for extra storage for junk or things that I might've wanted to create somethin' wit' later down the road. My Macbook was sitting along the surface of the desk, while Loyalty stared blankly at the open Google tab tryna' think about any jobs she may have been interested in.

Maurice, CJ, and I know almost everything about Loyalty's job in the past that she had when she was fifteen. It's normal for her to be scared or anxious to get back to working again in fear that may happen again, but I couldn't stand to see her in distress wit' her mama every damn day. That woman put so much weight on her daughter that only at the end of the day, Loyalty can deal with and it pisses me the hell off.

Loyalty'd also told me what her mom said, about wishing that it was her that died instead of their father. What kind of twisted ass, sick ass, mentally ill ass, hole in the brain ass, parent wishes death upon their own child? It's like she's purposely trying to make Loyalty feel small so she'll eventually drive into an OD the more she's on drugs, or just commit suicide period. It makes me sick to my stomach.

"Publix, maybe?" Loyalty glanced over at me, while I was on my knees at her level beside where she was sitting on the stool, so I would be able to have a good look at the screen myself. "I mean I heard that the pay is good, and I'd take working in a popular grocery store than a fast food restaurant."

"You sure?" I raised my eyebrows at her to confirm, and when she nodded I then stood from my place beside her. "Alright. I can take you ta' get an application tomorrow if you want," I tell her, walking over to my canvas to take a look at the painting which I'd been waiting for to dry for the past at least thirty minutes now. Nodding herself, Loyalty then stood from the chair and a few seconds later I'd noticed that she was standing barely a few feet away, eyeing the painting in wonder.

"What is it?" she curiously asked, her eyes never leaving the painting. Glancing at her, I then brought my eyes back to the art myself before answering. I couldn't even say specifically what it was, from what I saw it was an empty city with no lights. No cars on the road, no open signs for restaurants or bars... just dark buildings, and a long road. There were also tons of phrases written in different languages scattered along the painting, which added to its internal message. 

"I'on know." I answered almost at a mumble, tilting my head to the side. "I don't really aim for anything specific when I paint, I jus' do whatever I'm feeling."

"It's really pretty..." she complimented, reaching out to touch it but I put my hand out to stop her, and she quickly drew her hand back as if the painting had burst into flames and it was gonna end up burning her. "I don't think it's dry." I tell her, and she then nodded in understanding as her eyes returned to it, examining it once again.

"I feel like I'm at one of those fancy art museums," she smiled, causing me to smile as well. "Can I guess the meaning behind it like those really invested rich artistic people?"

"Go for it," I chuckle, and she then narrows her eyes going to analyze the painting. Dramatically tapping her index finger on her chin, Loyalty's smile slowly faded the longer she continued to stare at the picture. I could tell from the look on her face that she was really getting into it. A few seconds passed as the atmosphere was quiet, and she finally looked into my direction with a curious look into her eyes.

"Do you feel lost?" she questioned, out of both genuineness and hopes that she was right. "The lifeless city, long road, and quotes written in different languages. It means you're lost, right? Emotionally speaking, of course."

"How you get allat' from a mixture of black, grey, and red water colors?" I teased, and Loyalty let out a light laugh before shaking her head. Shrugging, Loyalty took a quick glance away before bringing her vague eyes back to me.