Buddha Quotes

Bonus Chapter: On Kindness

On Kindness by J.A Abellada © 2020

"Consider others as yourself"

Kindness has been taught in many different religions by different means and reasons. Some people do kind actions to help other beings, while others, to please other people or simply kindness is their nature. But being kind (I used this term to refer to all virtues, that is, being compassionate, being understanding, generous, forgiving etc) is quite difficult for many of us. If a person did something terrible to us, we will be angry to that person. I give three motivations for doing actions.

1. To please oneself – that is, a person will do "good" things for himself. This is also the "service of the self, and not others". An example would be an energy vampire who sucks other people's energy (which is a bad thing) to energize himself (which is a good thing). In this action, the person has a good intention for himself, but he does not think how his actions affect other beings. This kind of person often believes that he is doing the right thing, which he actually based on his motivation to please himself, or what makes him feel good. They often have victim mentality, and they could be ignorant.

2. To do business – that is, a person will do "good" things to other people, but not because of service, but because of business, which means that he expects something in return, perhaps the people's service, or admiration, decoration of his ego, or money. This kind of person may seem to be "kind" in such a way that he is not so selfish. He may help you to achieve your needs, or make you happy, but he will certainly expect you to give something to him, perhaps your money, your loyalty, your admiration to push his ego etc.

3. To serve – that is, a person will do good actions to serve other beings. It does not mean that he will become a slave to other's will. It simply means that he is genuinely concerned to other people's welfare, and he is empathic. He sees others as himself, and he is not seeking fame or recognition. He does good things without telling it to other people. This kind of person is also aware of the sufferings and needs of other people. But the highest act of kindness is putting other beings to the best path in their life without forming attachments to them.

But most of all, you must be kind to yourself. You must be compassionate to yourself. Understand who you are and what motivates you, understand your fears, your strengths and weaknesses, but do not be attached to your identity like "this is me and this is who I am". In life, the strongest people are those who are flexible and adaptable to any situations. You must be willing to change.

If you understand yourself fully, you will be able to understand other people as well. You will know why they are happy, jealous, sad, or angry. You may want to help other people, but be sure that your help is beneficial, and not addictive. There are some who will gladly take advantage of your kindness. Don't be afraid to say no. Negativity could not enter your life if you do not permit it. That is the beauty of free will.

Kindness, then, starts from within. Evil comes from the mind, and not from other beings or situations. Remember that all of your actions, mental and physical, will come back to you. Even the smallest act of kindness can change other people's life.