Frustrated - Rizzles

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Maura..."

Her name just slipped out of my mouth but I instantly regretted it because Maura stopped abruptly. She froze on her spot and I panicked. I had no other choice so I turned around to face her.

"I am so sorry," she hurried to say, guilt spread all over her face. She had turned red form embarrassment and shame.

"What for?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say to her.

"I am sorry I did this. I am really, really sorry." She immediately started apologizing. "I shouldn't have... done that... I should have... uhm... stopped myself. And I am terribly sorry."

"Yeah. I am sorry, too." I said and looked at her. "I am sorry that you stopped." I murmured it loud enough for her to hear me and then I quickly looked down. I hoped she would get what I meant to say.

"Yeah, I am sorry, too... Wait. What?... I am confused," she stated with a puzzled look. "Did you just say that you're sorry that I stopped kissing you?" she asked and looked expectantly at me.

I had two possibilities - to tell her the truth or to tell her a lie. I didn't know which one was right. I could just lie to her and hide my feelings once again, justify myself in front of her and pretend that this was just a misunderstanding. A bad choice of words. Or I could tell her about my feelings and risk being rejected. Or even worse - risk out friendship because of a simple kiss. A kiss that I had no idea what was all about. Maybe she was just checking my temperature or something like that. I really had no clue what she was doing. And mostly, why. But that was my only option. I saw this whole situation as a chance for me to finally confess about my attraction for her.

So I just nodded my head in silent agreement. I confirmed my words. That should be enough.

"W-what? Wow." That was all she said. And then there was a pause. A long pause turning into a decade. Or at least it seemed like a decade to me. I wish I could hear what she was thinking about at that moment.

"Soo... let me get this straight," she started talking and I immediately looked at her. "You said that you are sorry that I stopped kissing you... which means that you want me to continue. You want me to kiss you," she said and then looked at me questionably.

"Yeap. Pretty much," I just agreed with her. I wanted to give her some time to mull things over.

"Soo... basically... uhm this means that you like me," she stated, still a bit confused with a puzzled look. "Do you?"

"I thought you figured as much," I answered, smiling.

"Are you sure?"

The last questions just made me laugh. But I swallowed it because Maura could take it badly and think that I am just joking.

"Of course I am sure," I confirmed. "I've never been more sure in my entire life."

"Oh Jane, if you only knew what it was like for me," she exclaimed sounding so relieved. "I had to keep my feelings in a secret all this time. And I could barely focus on my work when you were around."

"What? I thought I was the only one feeling such an attraction towards you."

"Well, I made you some hints. Wasn't it kind of obvious? I was trying to be subtle though because I couldn't tell you just like that. But I was asking you all kind of questions. And I even confessed to you that I had a wet dream about you. And that's just to begin with."

"And then you said it was a joke," I reminded her.

"Well, yeah but I asked you all kind of... sexual questions and yet you just avoided them and ran away. As you said it, you pleasured yourself by walking out of the conversation. Out of any conversation that I start with you on that topic. And you always do that, Jane. Either you make a sarcastic joke to avid uncomfortable question, or you run away."

"I really do that?"

"Or you answer my question with a question," she stated.

"Really?" I asked and she giggled because obviously I was still doing it.

"I did so many things, Jane, I even tried to flirt with you. Did you know that you can't make a girl think about having sex with you if you don't plant that thought in her mind yourself? I read some articles about it."

"Poor Maura. My sweet geek. It never even crossed my mind to read some articles about how to flirt with a woman. Or ask someone for advice. But my smarty-pants Maura did. Okay, she is not mine. Yet."

"The article said that I should talk about sex with you and flirt with you and so I did. Or at least I tried."

"What!? And when did you flirt with me?" I was shocked. I haven't noticed her flirting. I couldn't even imagine her flirting with anyone.

"Well... I looked at you and smiled more often. I tried touching you more often. But you always run away, Jane."

"Well, that's not running. That's just avoiding."

"You know, when I was doing the dishes and you came so close to me. And then your hands lingered on my body. Do you remember what I said to you?"

"Do I remember? Of course I remember! How can I forget?!"

I nodded in agreement and bit my lip, remembering the words she said to me.

"Well, I really meant it. But then I quickly changed my mind because you looked at me with those eyes of yours and I just gave up. I pretended that I meant something else, entirely different from what I have planned because I just couldn't muster enough courage to tell you the truth. And then you got angry and frustrated and I didn't know what I did wrong."

"Oh, Maura, I am so sorry."

"And do you remember what I said once to you. I said that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. I was making innuendoes but you didn't seem to notice. Was it way too subtle? I was just trying to be funny, tell some jokes and make you laugh. But I gotta tell you, you're tough."

"Well, I am sorry but I haven't noticed. I thought it was a bit weird but I had no idea why you started making jokes, Maura."

"Well, now you know. It was because of you," she simply answered.

"Maura, I want to ask you something but please don't get mad at me. When you had a flue, did you fake it, too? Was that some kind of a plan? A way to seduce me? Don't get me wrong, I am just curious."

"What? No. Of course not. I wouldn't go that far."

"Well, what about the vaporub?"

"That was just a bad judgment. I didn't know you would agree. I was sick and I was just feeling really bad. But thank God you stopped quickly because I have to tell you, I was getting so turned on, I was this close of being dripping wet. Though I was curling my toes but you didn't seem to notice."

"Maura was going to be dripping wet because of me? If only I have noticed..."

"Yeah, I was uhm... kind of avoiding looking at you. I thought it would make things worse," I answered. "Lately I've been felling frustrated but it was... it was all because of you."

"What? You don't think I've been frustrated, too? You don't think it was a torture for me, too?" Maura exclaimed, questioning. "I have to tell you it was a torture that you were so close to me and yet I had to act calm and nonchalant about it. And sometimes I've been this close of telling you how I feel."

Hearing how Maura felt and how much she wanted me was really nice. Finally I felt relaxed now that she know everything. And hearing she has been craving for me was a huge turn on. I figured she wanted me as much as I did.

"Can I ask something?" I asked, interrupting her. "You know what I don't understand?"

"What?"

"Why are we still talking?" I asked and looked at her questionably.

"You are right. We should stop talking."

"Maura, you are still talking," I noted and I kissed her lips to silence her. She immediately stopped talking and kissed me back passionately.

There was no more talking after that. I put my tongue to better use.