Please Stay

A new kind of feeling. Part Two

I can’t believe I fell to sleep last night and slept in Sam’s bed. It was careless and stupid. I must admit though, it was a nice feeling waking up with him still in my arms, holding someone close. I would have happily stayed there if it wasn’t for the fact that if I was found missing it would cause panic or questions I couldn’t answer. I looked to my phone with worry and my heart relaxed when there were no missed calls, which meant I probably hadn’t been found out; yet.

I really wanted to talk about what happened last night, to explain myself but I didn’t have time and the best words to use. I didn’t want Sam to feel he was just an experiment and it wouldn’t happen again; it couldn’t. Admittedly it was good, but nothing could come between us even if I did want it to.

How do I explain my feelings, my infatuation when I don’t fully understand them; do I actually hold romantic feelings, damn if I know. I don’t even know his sexual orientation and he’s never shown any romantic interest, or given the impression he’s attracted to me. It’s probably best forgotten and put down to exploration. I guess that’s probably the best way to describe it all; I wanted to know what it would feel like to touch his skin and it went from there; it was mainly the truth anyway. I just hope he didn’t hate me for it and it affected our friendship.

I managed to get home, quickly washed and dressed and down for breakfast in record time, only being just under quarter of an hour later than usual. I wasn’t questioned over it but made sure I yawned loud, rubbing my eyes to give the impression I over slept. Apart from the usual brief morning from the cook, the only words spoken were to tell me that Ric required my presence.

Ric was a man in his very late fifties, early sixties with grey hair and sharp features. He could have been classed as pretty good looking in his younger days and despite his years, he kept his physique. He had a little less muscle than me, but I wouldn’t want to start a fight with him.

I sat at his mahogany desk that matched the other furnishings in the expensive looking room, decorated in ivory colourings.

“I am close to your Father; I’ve known him for too many years. I am his most trusted acquaintance which is why you are trusted in my care” he started, his stare hard on me which would make any normal person shit themselves. Myself, felt intimidated and gave him a ‘yes Sir’ hiding my emotions.

“But I am not your Father and as much as I understand his need to protect you, I don’t necessarily share his same views” his expression softened a little

Not wanting to repeat myself, I gave him a nod when he paused, obviously waiting for a response

“His Father’s ways may have worked for him, but I believe we need a little freedom to live a little and learn from our mistakes”

I couldn’t comment and speak against my Father, as much as I wanted to agree with him. I just remained motionless in my seat, back straight and hands together between my legs, my breakfast churning in my stomach. When I didn’t respond he continued

“This is why I let you have a bit of freedom, but I need to know where you are, know that you are safe” his words soft, but face hard which was confusing “So if you need to get away for a while, let me or Travis know so we don’t panic and send out a search party and heaven forbid have to contact your Father” Travis was my chauffeur and body guard as such.

I wasn’t sure where this came from. I know I was late for breakfast because I woke late being content in Sam’s bed with him in my arms. Had they came to my room and checked up on me. Is this why we were having this chat; I can’t ask though.

“I’ll do that” my head down as I answered

“And Dominique”

I looked up to his dark eyes that held concern

“Please, if something is bothering you, no matter what it is, talk to me. What you say will stay between us. I was young once and understand desires, the need for connections” his whole body language and voice now friendly.

I just nodded my head politely, not knowing if I could tell him about what happened last night or how I’d been feeling recently; had he picked up on that also. I know he was the best at reading people, knowing if they were lying which is why I didn’t feel I needed to say anything. I guess he already knew. Maybe I need to hide things better.

Over the last few months he’s became somewhat friendly and I must admit I have felt myself becoming close to him, closer than I have any adult. But could I honestly trust him with my secret, my friendship. At least he hadn’t contacted anyone if he had noticed my absence which say’s something. Maybe he genuinely did care and could be trusted, but it was something I wasn’t used to. It gave me a warmth inside though, a feeling of belonging.