Please Stay

A new kind of feeling. Part one

Over the months Sam had filled out lovely with the food I kept filling his stomach with, be at it lunch time or snacks I’d take to his house. He still had the slim frame, but didn’t look scrawny anymore and since I dealt with most his bullies and Pa, he hadn’t had a mark on him.

Yeah, I approached the man one evening and done my best to talk to him, telling him what he was doing to his son was wrong and offering him rehab, but he just looked confused and mad. I guess a kid trying to tell him what to do, would do that to an adult. He did try to look intimidating and basically told me it was none of my business, but with some colourful words. With him getting in my face didn’t scare me and I held back my laughter. He was nothing like his son in build or looks; he was tall yes, but much larger frame and features, but I knew I was stronger. I originally intended on giving him a taste of his own medicine and leave him cowering on the ground, bruised, but Sam wouldn’t appreciate that. Instead, after my polite chat failed I grabbed hold of his old brown coat and pinned him to the wall so his feet barely touched the ground, telling him ‘You think your life is miserable now, lay one more finger on your son and you’ll find out what miserable is. You’ll never work again and depend upon people to feed you’ with so much malice and power. When I dropped him, he went crumbling to the floor looking; scared? I guess he was and it worked.

Sam almost looked like the happy kid I left 10 years ago. His eyes again held their sparkle, especially when he smiled and I started to notice other little things about him. How he’d eat with slow movements of his mouth, play with a bit of hair when he was thinking, his timid movements. I found myself watching him a lot, looking for his little actions and getting great pleasure from seeing them. I also got general pleasure from just being with him, noticing how really good looking he was and now he had stopped using temporary dye on his hair, his natural light blonde colour made him even more appealing in my eyes.

I felt protective over him and always wanted to see him happy. I’d go out of my way to make him smile because when he was happy, I was. I’ve never felt as close to anyone as I do Sam and feel I could tell him anything and everything, but of course there were aspects of my life I couldn’t share. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him; it was for his own good and protection.

Sometimes if I was at his place, I found myself peaking at him while he undressed for bed, or changing. I had started wondering what it would be like to touch his flesh and hold him in my arms. If I lay on his bed while he slept, I would imagine doing just that. 

I’d never really thought about my sexuality before, I’ve never looked at anyone with interest.  I’m not sure what I was feeling for Sam, whether it was lust, curiosity, just friendship or my hormones were playing up. After all, I’ve never been close to anyone before. I know I never looked at Ashley or Georgia in the same way, or had lustful thoughts about them that caused an erection. I’ve never even considered being in a relationship before knowing Father wouldn’t allow it; full stop. Would I want to be in a relationship with Sam? There was no point in even thinking of it because I’d eventually be returning home and leaving him behind, I couldn’t do that to either of us.

Tonight was Friday, the day of the week I’d go to Sam’s and we’d watch films on my laptop till early hours of the morning when he’d fall asleep and I’d sneak back home. We’d usually sit under the covers for extra warmth where his house was pretty chilly, so it was common for me to be in his bed with just my shorts and top on, him in his briefs and t-shirt.

As I lay on my side propped up on my elbows, watching him sleeping with his back facing me, I had a foreign feeling inside, like excitement. I shifted my body closer to his and reached for his hair and ran the soft strands through my fingers. Wondering what it would feel like to hold him, I put my hand around his waist and moved so my chest lay against his back and my face was in his hair. I took in the coconut scent and loved that smell on him, it was arousing.