Josie's Journey

Heatwave? What Heatwave? Oh, The One From Last Chapter?

Elaine stared at the clump of her daughter's hair and her fist closed around it, knuckles white. "J-Josie... your hair just fell out..."

Josie avoided her mother's eyes, struggling between lying or upsetting her mom. She decided to tell the truth. "I don't know why... it, it just started falling out."

She took a deep breath and quickly continued braiding, trying to ignore when more clumps fell out. She hastily completed her task and threw chunks of hair into the trash. "I'll call the doctor in the morning and have him get you in quickly." Josie nodded and curled up into her mother's arms.

— — —

Josie watched her mother dial the phone on that cold and rainy Tuesday morning. She had chills, but not just because of the weather. She was scared and her heart fluttered with anxiety.

Elaine gently held her daughter's hand as she booked the appointment for Josie's pediatrician that afternoon. She had no idea what was truly going on: Josie was suffering from an eating disorder. She didn't notice the weight loss, the times Josie skipped lunch and dinner, the side effects and signals of it.

"Mom, I don't want to lose my hair..." Josie said quietly, tears of anxiety welling in her eyes. She loved her hair - it was the one thing that made her feel beautiful and normal.

"I know, Jo," she replied gently. "Go get ready, okay? Your appointment is in an hour."

Josie got up and went to her bedroom, beginning her daily routine. She stripped down to her underwear and stepped on her bathroom scale. The tears fell from her eyes when she saw the number being displayed on the scale. She was convinced that she was too fat, that she was practically a whale, that she was bloated, that beneath her pale skin was nothing but disgusting layers of fat down to her bones. She got dressed again, this time in skinny jeans, a pale pink t-shirt, and a zippered sweatshirt then went downstairs to the kitchen. She grabbed a small bowl of cereal, mentally calculating the calories in her breakfast. Eventually, she decided against it after realizing how much she'd be taking in and opted instead for a container of low-fat vanilla Greek yogurt.

To Josie, this was normal. She didn't realize that this was unhealthy or abnormal - the popular girls at her school constantly talked about their weight, their BMI, their calories, and the latest fad diets. Because of that, she never thought of herself as having an eating disorder - she thought she was completely normal. She kept all of her thoughts and obsessions are hidden in her mind.

Josie didn't realize how sick she was, and that beginning to lose her hair meant she was only getting sicker.