The other side of love

His heart

Chapter 4

" I don't understand"
I said, I was even sober at this point because Khathu and I barely fight. Even when we do, he is quick to communicate his issues. Then we resolve it, yet right now I didn't see that happening.
Me" You wanted me here, and I came. You said you'd see me tomorrow and I didn't put up a fight. I left my phone behind because your phone was off, so I figured you are occupied. Now here you are making comments about what I'm wearing"
Khathu" Maybe it was a mistake"
Me" Us or me coming here?"
He didn't say anything and I nodded with tears shimmering in my eyes.
"Okay"

We never went sightseeing, that night I went straight to Thandile's room and I cried until I had a bad headache. She suggested we make the most of our trip, when the sun was out she booked our tickets to Johannesburg and hired a car. I went to get my bags and then we returned the keys.
" Are you sure about this?"
She asked and honestly I wasn't I didn't want to be where I am not wanted.
Me" I don't know, but he is ashamed of me. I don't know if I am okay with being with someone who will want me to act a certain way just to impress strangers"
" Let's not mention him, until we are back in PE"

We got back to PE on Tuesday after a weekend filled with fun and laughter, I may have missed him but Thandile and I had fun that was the most important thing. She dropped me off at his place, I charged my phone and went to take a shower. I wore his t-shirt and went to switch on my phone, it's been off since Friday. I decided to order some food for myself, then cried while waiting, this was the first time I could process the fight alone. I went on my whatsapp and I had messages from him, I scanned them but none of them actually apologized just him wanting me to stop avoiding him. So I just left him on read, my food arrived and I binged watched the crown. My father called I think five hours later because it was dark and I had intentions of switching on the lights.
" Tata?"
I love this man.
Tata" When are you visiting?"
Me" Christmas eve until the 27th"
Tata" Andisaku khumbuli"
Me" I miss you too, ndizo kuphathela into emnadi"
Tata" And strong?"
I laughed because he meant whiskey
Me" Ewe hahaha"
Tata" Awwww MaRadebe"
"Khawuleza ufike"
Me" Three more days"
"I have another call coming in, ndiphende ndiphone?"
Tata" A.a mtanam, soncokola ngomso"
Me" Goodnight"
Tata" Goodnight"
I think Khathu had ended his call, so I just called him back.
" Hello"
He said and my heart sank.
Me" Hi"
Khathu" Where have you been?"
Me" We went to Johannesburg, we've always wanted to go ko Zone 6, so we finally did"
Khathu" Why didn't you tell me? You really just switched off your phone for 5 days"
Me" You said you regretted being with me"
Khathu" I didn't say that"
Me" You didn't say anything. Silence speaks louder"
" You want me out of your place, don't worry, I'll be gone before you return"
Khathu" Shut up"
" For once just listen"
Me" That's rude"
Khathu" I don't care about how you were dressed. The way my brother described you and Thandile, as if you were some prostitute. Life is different here and I got pissed off"
" He made you sound like some cheap slut that needed everyone's attention at News cafe"
Me" You believed that? Do you even know me?"
" You hurt me Khathu, even if I was some slut. I am your slut! You should have known better, instead you were embarrassed to claim me. Your brother was exaggerating, I don't know him but all we did was eat there and grab a few drinks before going to some tavern"
Khathu" I am sorry for over reacting and I sh..."
Me" That was a glimpse of my future with you, I don't think I can handle that side of you. I love you so much but I will not change myself for your family or anyone else"
Khathu" I don't want you to change"
Me" But then you can't flip when you are with them, I don't trust you to defend me. I'll have to deal with them thinking I'm a home wrecker, I at least need to know that you are on my side. You failed to do that"
" Yaphela airtime yam. Goodnight"
Khathu" I hate that you are crying right now"
Me" Then ndiyeke, because you really hurt me and I won't pretend like I am okay with you being an ass towards me based on something you didn't even see. You hurt me. I just didn't think you thought so little of me, and it hurts to know that you do"
" Just give me some time to calm down"
Khathu" No! This is...."
Airtime did what I didn't have the strength to do.

The following day I took myself on a solo date and also went to pay some bills. My phone vibrated;
"Where are you?"
It was Khathu on Whatsapp
"Greenacres"
I replied
" Okay"
I didn't feel the need to reply, I bought myself pizza for supper. Then finally went home, I got there and the front door was opened. That's when it clicked that he was here, when I went inside he was on the phone having a shouting match with whomever. He saw me then went outside, as if I could understand what he was saying. I just unpacked the groceries, I did something I have never done before, double check if my outfit was appropriate. I was wearing a summer dress, it was. Above the knee, I love this dress yet all I could think was if Khathu would be happy about it.
"Hello"
He said standing next to the kitchen counter. I am in love with this man, there was no doubt about that. Him being here right now was the sort of grand gestures I never knew I needed. Yea, I am ready to be a clown for him.
Me" What are you doing here?"
Khathu" I'm here to fix us. I want to show you that you are not some mistake or someone I'm ashamed of"
" So here I am, I didn't like the idea of you being here alone and crying because of me"
I went to give him a hug.
Me" You hurt me"
Khathu" And I am sorry for that. I promise to never do it again"
Me" Don't make promises you can't keep"
We kissed then I pulled away.
" So you are going back today again?"
Khathu" On the 27th"
"That's why my father was shouting at me"
Me" You know I didn't understand a word"
Khathu" I told him about you"
" I don't want that to ruin this moment, I missed you so much"
We kissed, then I dished up the lasagna from yesterday for him, made some greek salad while warming it up.
Khathu" That dress was made for you"
" You look beautiful Lisa"
I smiled then went to give him ukutya, we ate and then went to the bedroom.
Me" My parents are angry at me for not asking you about polygamy"
"Actually they are not comfortable with us because my father is convinced you have two wives at home"
Khathu" Hahaha that's a lot"
" You'll be the second"
Me" I don't think I am cut out for that"
"I would be jealous"
Khathu" Let's just drop the topic for now"
"When we spend Christmas with your parents should I mention that I'm getting married?"
We both chuckled
Me" I'd kill you"
Khathu" I missed you so much"
Me" I want to sit on your face"