For You I Will

Three

Brandy
➰
Alone in my apartment, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the ring holding onto my finger. I fiddled with it a bit, thought about it a bit.

Then I thought back to my wedding day, recalling just the moment Jason and I vowed to love as one. It made me wonder if it was truly sincere, well at least on his end.

The fact that he stood there at that altar, looked within my eyes, and promised to love me. Every part of me. I could only think of what possibly ran through his mind at that moment.
Had he wished that I was a man? That he was marrying a man to hold, to love?

"Baby?" I could hear Jason's voice calling out to me just after hearing our home's front door open and close. He had made it in from work after I did, which wasn't normal for our daily routine. Usually, he'd come home first, leaving me to be the last.

But while at work, I couldn't concentrate. I could only think of whether or not I married a man that wasn't at all who he claimed to be. And I needed to get home, I needed to sort through this.

Hell, I hadn't even changed out of my work clothes. I was still dressed in my navy blue pantsuit, ready to tackle this discussion.

"Baby? You in here?" He called out for me again, but I hadn't responded. My mind raced through one too many thoughts for me to even consider responding.

If Jason wasn't who I thought he was, then that meant Monica was right. And Lord knows I would've given anything to not have her be right. I knew just how much joy it'd bring her to have made a valid point in something gearing to tear me down.

Truthfully, I wasn't exactly clear on the dysfunction we shared. She claimed I caused her trouble because of the complaints I might've made once or twice. But, honestly, I figured Monica had still been holding onto possible beef we shared when we were younger. We had gone to the same high school, gotten a little close, and eventually—we never spoke again.

"Baby, you don't hear me calling you?" Jason had finally made it into our bedroom, carrying his yellow safety hat at his side and wearing his protective goggles. He was into construction and had been for quite some time.

Growing out of my thoughts, I rose from the bed and faced my husband. "Jason...we need to talk." I breathed deeply, knowing this conversation wouldn't be kind to us, to our marriage.

He removed the eyewear from his face, placing both it and the hat upon the nightstand on his side of the bed. "Okay...what about? Is something wrong?" He then began to remove his bodysuit, preparing himself for a routine shower.

"Well, when I got home the other night—you didn't realize I had made it in—I saw you recording yourself while you were playing with your Long John," I remembered what Aunt Loretta named it, figuring it was only appropriate for me to name it the same.

Jason's eyes widened as it registered to him that he had been caught in the act. "You-you saw that? You saw me?" His words stumbled a bit, him feeling embarrassed. "Brandy, I was just—"

But I didn't care for an explanation as to why he pleasured himself. I wanted to get right to the point, to know who he was pleasuring himself for.
"Obviously you sent that video to somebody, somebody other than me. But that's not my biggest concern. What's worrying me...is wondering if you sent that video to a man...and not a woman, Jason."