𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ME|| 𝐓IMOTHÉE 𝐂HALAMET

15 | dahlia

Lou and I hadn't spoken for a week. I had snuck in and out of the apartment very well and she seemed to get the hint and went to stay with Adele for the week. 

After many tear filled conversations with my sister I had deleted social media off of my phone, I hadn't spoken to anyone. 

And by anyone I also mean, that someone. It had been a week exactly since hearing anything from Timothée. 

Vivien and I had texted a little bit, I felt really blind-sighted by all my friends though, to the point where surprise set-ups weren't going to rectify anything.

Vivien had invited me out but I had declined. Drinking was not a good idea with the people I would have to be around. 

Instead I decided to have a shower and take a little stroll around the Tuilleries and on the way back grab some ingredients for a home-cooked meal. 

I was drained, so many thoughts seemed to want to pre-occupy my mind and yet it had no energy to rationalise each one so the stayed stuck in a fog in my brain. 

I called my grandma as I turned the corner to enter the park and waited for her to pick up. 

"Hi darling." She chorused, I could here a commotion going on in the background.

"Hi grandma, what's going on at home, are you okay?"

"Oh yes I'm fine just trying to put up a picture." She called as I heard something else fall over in the background.

I tried to hide the truth in my voice. "Ah, I can always call you back?" 

"Oh no, I was meaning to call you honey." 

"I miss you." 

Hearing her voice felt so painful. I just wanted to be sat in her garden with a cup of tea and a blanket. I just wanted to feel safe.

"I miss you too, but I am so proud of you. Now what is this about you dating a movie star?" She joked, in her classic naughty way.

I would've laughed if I weren't so disappointed. "Grandma I don't even know where to begin."

"What's wrong, you sound awfully down for someone who's dating a heartthrob." She cooed.

"Oh god grandma!" I rubbed my forehead. " We're not dating. We're not anything." I corrected her.

"Why not darling? He's a bit young for me but still he's not bad looking. And he sure looks like he knows how to kiss." She added with her mischievous sing-song voice .

"Grandma!"

"It was just a joke Cara."

"Yeah well." I paused finding a bench to sit on.

"No I know, I'm sorry. Are you alright?" I just wanted to hug her.

"No, not really." I answered honestly.

"Hey, hey, honey listen. It's okay. Come on you'll be alright." She tried to reassure me.

"Will I?" I sounded like a child, and to her I always would be.

"Oh of course you will Cara don't read this nonsense. Look, why don't you explain it and I can help you out?" 

So I did and then I let her speak her wisdom.

"Hey Cara, you know you're anything but stupid and hey we've all fallen in love with a heart throb before. 

At least you got to kiss yours I was only kissing my posters at your age." That made me laugh, for the first time in a week. 

"Sure you didn't know, and yes it was wrong you're friends didn't tell you - but they were put in a very unusually difficult position Cara. 

It's not everyday people deal with these situations, that's why we always mess up." She gave me a minute to process her words before beginning again.

"But Cara, all you really need me to tell you is that you are not just 'another' girl. Other girls are great of course, but honey, 

you're my granddaughter you are anything but ordinary. 

You're clever, beautiful, incredibly cheeky but most importantly you have a good heart honey."

I had started crying now, I had wanted to ever since the beginning of our call. Hearing her voice and her familiarity, but to be told everything you're so unsure of, by someone you really trust. 

It was overwhelming.

"We're all so proud of you and how far you've come. You just need to look around you. You're in Paris darling, Paris! 

And you did that all for yourself, so stop being so hard on yourself and live your life for the both of us. 

Lord knows I didn't have half as much excitement at your age so I'll be living vicariously through you, okay?"

"Okay grandma." I half smiled.

"I love you Cara." She said that way that only grandma's do.

"I love you so much grandma."

"We'll see each other soon, I promise." 

"Okay I can't wait." There were dahlia's that had just begun to bloom, grandma's favourite. 

I heard some more things crashing in the background. "I've got to go honey but call me again soon okay?"

"Of course." I closed my eyes.

"Love you." 

"Love you too." I don't think you'll ever know how much, I thought.

"Bye."